The Day the Whole World Went Away
by Felicity Dream
Summary: Semi-dark!Girl!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Arthur. Conspiracies and lies are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son. It was a different world from the legends. Merlin watches the world burn and Uther helps carve it. Long live Arthur. Merthur AU rewrite.
1. In Your Frequency

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: I'm from America so I had to download the series (though I still will watch it here live regardless, supporting the show and all). I'm up to episode 8.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

A/n: Will include more magic than in the series, and a more powerful Merlin (though not as powerful as the legends yet). Genderbended because…I think I'm going through a huge phase. I seem to do a genderbender for everything…

No, I will not be completely writing word for word from the episodes. That would be boring, wouldn't it? You've already seen it, yeah? So you'd want something different to read…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter One: In Your Frequency_

"_There is no God in a world full of sinners."_

Merlin glanced around her, eyes narrowing at the bustling crowd. She sighed and her eyes flashed gold. From there, she suddenly knew where to go and she walked further into Camelot and her first steps towards her destiny.

She knocked on the door she knew she was supposed to go to, and when no one answered, she silently entered. She watched the old man on the ladder reaching for an old book before speaking.

"I didn't think you would be careless as to climb that high on a rickety ladder without assurance, Uncle Gaius."

Gaius whirled around, forgetting the height he was at, and promptly fell off the ladder and letting go of the book. In mid flight, Merlin's eyes flashed gold once again and Gaius stopped falling and landed softly on the ground, the book floating over to him.

"Y-you! Magic!"

"Shush now, Uncle. Don't want to get me killed, do you?" Merlin smiled, eyes twinkling.

"Wait…Uncle…Merlin!" Gaius's face broke into a grin and he ran to her, grasping her into a hug.

"This is for you, Uncle Gaius. Mother wrote a letter to explain my presence and why I'm here," Merlin explained, and then rummaged through her satchel until she found the letter and handed it to him.

"Just Gaius, Merlin. Uncle, for some reason, makes me feel old," he said as he started to break through the seal and begin reading. "And you mustn't use your magic so casually. It is forbidden around here. One found practicing sorcery will be sentenced to death. I just got you, my dear. I wouldn't want to lose you so soon."

Merlin grimaced, "I had some idea of that. A man was just executed outside for practicing magic and his mother swore vengeance on the royal family. But I had to save you somehow, right?"

Gaius grumbled under his breath, eyes scanning over the parchment quickly. "Be mindful and be careful. You never know when someone might bear witness to your sorcery. And I'll have you know that my ladder was very much assured," he admitted, waving at the ladder and letting a subtle glow emit from it.

"No magic, huh?" she smirked.

Her uncle shrugged, refolding the letter and placing it in a pocket. "Well, one must be careful and it can't be helped at times. I _am_ getting on in my old age."

"Yes, well…am I to stay here?"

"Oh very well," he teased. "However, I am most curious. How did you do that without any incantation?"

"It's instinctive to me. I don't need to use incantations. When I learned that, I began practicing more until the times I needed an incantation became less and less."

"I see. That is very unique. How did you come to practice it?" Gaius asked, wary of saying the word 'magic' specifically in case someone were to listen.

"I was born this way," she admitted and he gaped comically at her for a few moments.

"Yes, very unique. I –Why on earth on you wearing men's clothing?"

Merlin rolled her eyes, "It was much easier traveling in men's clothing. You try traveling in women's clothing and I won't say anything."

"…Yes, yes. I see. If you don't mind, Merlin, there is a couple things I need picking up. Do you need a map?"

She shook her head, her long locks bound in a loose braid that she tossed over her shoulder. "I can find my way around the town. Just give me the list and I'll be on my way."

Using her magic, she quickly navigated her way around and found the places where she had to pick up things for Gaius. She made to go back when she watched a servant be picked on by a handsome, blond man and probably what were his lackeys.

"Now, now. That's no way to treat other people," she gave a big smile, eyes closed but for a sliver.

"Back away, idiot. It's none of your business," the blond man sneered.

Her mouth twitched, smile straining. "Only if business involves unnecessary conflict, my friend."

"Sorry, do I know you? You called me friend," he jeered.

Her smile dropped abruptly, "Oh, I apologize. I could never have such a prat for a friend. Ass."

That infuriated the man and he smoothly pulled out his sword. "Perhaps a lesson is in order?"

She sneered, "Who do you think you are? The King?"

"No. I'm his son."

Her face paled and then he was gesturing to his knights and she was being dragged away.

Damn, she should've kicked his ass first. At least then, she would've earned going to the dungeons.

* * *

"Foolish girl," her uncle muttered fondly.

"I didn't even lay a hand on him," she grumbled, letting Gaius lead her away.

"Be lucky I was able to release you at all. But you must be punished."

She groaned, "Why is it that I suddenly have gained bad luck here in Camelot?"

Gaius' lips twitched upwards.

Minutes later saw Merlin glaring at him, as she was locked up and then people were throwing rotten food at her. Only he was able to see her deflect the food with magic, and place a subtle illusion allowing it to look like she was being hit.

"Hello there," a lady slightly younger than her shyly greeted Merlin.

Merlin winced as another banana peel headed her way, but she smiled back after. "Hello. I'm Merlin."

"I'm Guinevere. Most people call me Gwen."

"It's nice to meet you. Have we met?"

"No, no," Gwen blushed. "It's just that I saw what you did. For Gregory earlier. It was kind of you to stand up to Prince Arthur."

"Someone had to," Merlin glowered at the rotten food-covered floor around her.

"Still. It was very kind and brave."

"I would wave that compliment off, but you know," Merlin smiled cheekily, clenching and unclenching her hands. "You might want to go now. Rotten food incoming."

Gwen gave her another shy smile before ducking away. Merlin went back to glowering at her laughing uncle.

"Now that the humiliation is over, you want something, don't you Uncle?" Merlin asked disgruntled, freed from the stocks.

"I need this potion to be delivered to Lady Helen."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Don't be smart with me, girl."

Merlin just sniffed haughtily and trotted away with the potion.

* * *

After the odd meeting with Lady Helen and another humiliation at the hands of Arthur (she had been so close to beating him, if it weren't for Gaius!), Merlin was looking forward to just settling down and going straight to sleep.

But then the voice that's been haunting her since coming there was speaking her name again.

Warily following it, she was surprised when she was led to a cave underneath the castle. While she was surprised at that, she was staggered to find a giant dragon staring her down.

"Merlin…"

"You…you're the one who's been calling my name," she whispered, eyes wide.

"Yes. I must tell you of your destiny. With you by his side, you and Arthur, the Once and Future King, will unite all of Albion."

That snapped Merlin out of her dazed. "No. No, you are quite mistaken."

"Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion." The dragon looked at her gravely.

"No, you've got this wrong," she insisted.

"There is no right or wrong, only what is, and what isn't."

"But I'm serious! If anyone wants to go kill him, they can go ahead. In fact, I'll give them a hand," Merlin glared at it, mouth curling into a sneer.

The blasted dragon actually started laughing at her.

"None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it," it stared down at her in amusement.

"No. No way. No. No, there must be another Arthur, because this one's an idiot," she stubbornly said.

"Perhaps it's your destiny to change that."

She gaped as it just left her at that before huffing and childishly stomping out.

* * *

She delivered a sleeping draught to the Lady Morgana in the morning, awkwardly meeting her until Gwen stepped in and broke the ice. She quickly fled after, hiding in Gaius' chambers for the rest of the time until the ceremony where Lady Helen was to perform.

The ceremony wasn't at all what Merlin had expected.

The beautiful Lady Helen began singing and it was as lovely as people had claimed. That is until it began to weave a spell around everyone in the room, and Merlin saw everyone falling asleep and cobwebs starting to cover them. Desperate, she pulled at her magic and the chandelier fell on top of Lady Helen.

Everyone began waking up and Lady Helen, now revealed to be Mary Collins and mother of the man Merlin remembered being executed her first day at Camelot, groaned in pain and glared at the King and Prince.

Mary took out the dagger from her sleeve and threw it dead on towards Arthur.

Merlin frowned and her eyes flashed gold. Running forward, she grabbed a hold of Arthur and pulled him away, allowing the dagger to embed itself into his chair. With that, Mary died and everyone started exclaiming in excitement, worry, and confusion.

"That was most surprising. You, my boy, have done me a great service. You must be rewarded for saving my son's life," Uther announced, watching Merlin closely for some reason.

"Thank you, Your Majesty. Please. It's alright. I am fine," Merlin tried not to become too red in the face.

"But I insist. In fact, I shall appoint you my son's manservant."

"What?" both Arthur and Merlin asked incredulously at the same time.

"Great! Now let the feast continue. Guards, remove that filth so that the celebrations may continue underway," the King ignored the protests of his son and the more quieter and hesitant ones from Merlin.

The feast continued and when it ended, only Gaius, Arthur, Merlin, and Uther were left.

"Gaius, you may leave to your chambers now. Arthur, you are dismissed. You there, stay a moment. I have some things to discuss with you," Uther surprisingly ordered.

Gaius hesitantly left Merlin in the hands of Uther, and Arthur left with only a slightly questioning glance.

"You used magic."

Merlin froze, terror seizing her.

"Speak, girl," the King's voice turned harsh.

She swallowed in fear. "Yes, Your Highness."

"I am not foolish nor blind. I have faced magic before and can recognize it. I glimpsed it as I accidentally looked to you when that hag threw the dagger at my son, and your eyes glowed briefly of gold. You used sorcery in that moment, and I suspect when the chandelier fell atop the witch."

She gulped again, "Yes."

Uther's eyes narrowed. "You would be executed for the treasonous practice of sorcery."

Merlin's eyes shut close.

"You will listen to me, girl. You used this devilry to save Arthur. And you will continue to do so."

Her eyes shot open and she stared at him in surprise, "Milord?"

He looked at her coldly, "You heard me. I will keep you alive. Watch over Arthur and keep him safe, and for that you may keep your life."

"I…I understand," she hesitantly answered.

"I know of the traditions of sorcery. I know there are oaths. Swear by your magic that you will not harm myself or my son or Camelot, and let it be binding," Uther continued, surprising her again.

"I swear on my magic, let it be binding, that I will not or ever harm Uther or Arthur Pendragon, nor of their land Camelot. So shall I swear by the roots of Gaia, and my life is forfeit if I dare rescind my word in any way with the intent of harm," she said confidently.

He nodded, still gazing at her with cold eyes. "You will continue to serve my son as his manservant, so that you can easily keep watch over him."

"Milord, as you've acknowledged several times now, you know I am a girl. I cannot serve him as a manservant," Merlin nervously protested.

"My son would have noticed before had he actually paid attention. As I've said, I am no fool and I am ever watchful, so of course I would notice your sex before he. As it is, everyone is under the assumption you are a boy. I've even made it more convenient for you, announcing you as a boy before the assembly."

"I have no Adam's Apple," she winced.

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Surely you can cast an illusion? No one has paid much attention to you before to notice that, so you can easily place the illusion and no one may know the difference. And you wear that blasted neckerchief anyhow."

She conceded reluctantly.

"You know, you call this devilry and yet you are willing to allow it. Would you call me the devil and still allow me to watch over your son?"

He half frowned and half smirked. "I would not call you so much the devil, as that would give you too much credit. A demon perhaps. And I will ensure my son's life by any means."

She rolled her eyes before realizing who she was rolling her eyes to. Nevertheless, she spoke out. "Then perhaps it would be more accurate to call you devil and I your lowly demon subordinate? Perhaps then I shall say 'I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.'"

His face smoothed out and showed no emotion and she feared she may have spoken too out of turn.

"Then perhaps you are right," he murmured. "But does it really matter in the end?"

She stared at him before she seemed to just transform before his eyes, her back straightening and she standing in more confidence. Her eyes hardened and he could see flecks of gold in the blue oceans of her irises.

"Do we have an agreement then?" he held out his hand.

Her eyes briefly showed surprise at his odd show of equality before they hardened once more. She shook it.

"We have an accord," she quietly said, agreeing.

Destiny, it seemed, had grabbed onto her anyway.

Started 6/25/09 –Completed 6/26/09

A/n: You know, I kind of just started writing this because I wanted to write more magic, a slightly more powerful Merlin, and I really just wanted to write a cunning Uther. He really does love his son, so to what end would he go to to protect him?


	2. Mirrored Liaisons

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: I'm from America so I had to download the series (though I still will watch it here live regardless, supporting the show and all). I've finally finished it!  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…  
A/n: This is my first Merlin fic, so I'm hoping it's going alright so far…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Two: Mirrored Liaisons _

"_You may practice magic at your discretion, but do not be blindingly obvious about it. I will not allow you to go around parading your powers. I will not protect you if you are discovered. You will be executed, as all the others have been."_

"_I understand, milord."_

"_Uther in confidence, brat. We are co-conspirators. It is only fitting that I allow you to use my name."_

"_Yes then…Uther. As my name is Merlin."_

"_Very well…Merlin."_

_They eyed in each other in either amusement or iciness. Surprisingly, Uther was the one amused and Merlin the one with the cool gaze._

"_Do not reveal our covenant with Arthur or anyone at all. I will have you executed. You may subtly let Gaius in, but say nothing and let him draw his own conclusions."_

_Merlin nodded, dipping in a slight bow and an almost smirk on her face. _

"_As you wish, so shall it be." And so she left to sleep, before the morning came and she had to start work as Arthur's manservant._

"It's going well then, serving my son?" Uther's cool tone made her flinch.

"Tiresome," she drawled, leaning casually against his table.

He barked out a harsh laugh, "Yes, I see. Arthur seems to have taken to you though."

Merlin let a small smile play across her lips before it smoothed over and her face was expressionless again.

Uther narrowed his eyes at the mirror, trying to adjust his cape. Merlin pushed herself off of the table and stood behind him, nimble fingers going up and fixing the cape herself. He said nothing, glaring at her reflection in the mirror, condemning eyes ever present.

She ignored them.

"Must I continue to play idiot?" she murmured, finishing the last touches.

He straightened up and observed himself in the mirror, "Yes. You can better stay in your role as an incompetent, than bring attention to yourself. Cheery and idiotic."

He knew full well she wasn't. Not from the moment she straightened up after their covenant and from the many conversations he had forced her to have with him. She was bright, almost as calculating as him, and very dangerous –though in a more subtle way than he. She was very deceptive of how powerful she was, like all treacherous magic-users, but nonetheless capable. She just rather preferred standing in the shadows and not drawing attention to herself.

"My son would be wondering where you have been. Go, finish your tasks. Report to me if anything of importance should be known."

She nodded mockingly obedient, before heading out.

* * *

"You are completely incompetent, aren't you?" Arthur asked annoyed, and Merlin looked back to see the sword she had "forgotten" to include.

"Ah yes. That. Sorry," she grinned, inwardly rolling her eyes.

"Stupid, dazed, and incapable of anything. And girly. Jeez, haven't you heard of cutting your hair, Merlin?"

She ignored his jibe and handed him his sword. "Ready?"

"Of course," he answered arrogantly.

She walked with him to the tournament, before standing back and letting him enter the arena with the rest of the contestants. Merlin was surprised she had enjoyed the tournament at all, but she did and watched eagerly as Arthur fought, cheering him on.

The first day of the tournament was over and there was a customary feast back at the castle, and while there was some sort of quiet scuffle between Morgana, Arthur, and Valiant, Uther's eyes locked onto hers. She nodded and slipped more into the shadows, going back to carefully watching Arthur.

She was surprised when later, Arthur headed towards her.

"What are you doing skulking about here?" he grinned at her.

"I am not skulking," she deadpanned. Her eyes darted to Uther, who was watching. She quickly grinned widely, and laughed loudly. "I'm just…you know. Don't feel comfortable walking about with all sorts of refined people around."

Arthur laughed with her, "And I, for one, hate it as well. Why don't we just leave? I'm sure Father won't mind. Everyone else is too drunk and I've stayed for my obligatory time. You're not needed at all, manservant."

She twitched and frowned, "You are such a prat."

"So you say."

She huffed, but allowed him to lead her out.

She couldn't believe how Arthur kept surprising her, this time by bringing her to the kitchens where they snacked on some sweet bread and talked about their childhoods. It was very odd for her, especially having branded Arthur as a hopeless case and a complete moron.

The next morning, as she went to go replace Arthur's armor, she heard hissing. Following the noise, she narrowed her eyes at Valiant's shield, having deducted that the hissing came from it. Then one of the snakes winked at her, and she almost squeaked aloud.

"What are you doing here?" Valiant appeared suddenly.

"Ohoho!" she laughed idiotically. "I was just replacing Arthur's armor. Man, these things are heavy, eh? Well, I have to go before he starts complaining again."

Valiant smirked, "Good luck with that then. I'm sure you need it with his big mouth."

She hid her shiver and tried not to run away.

After the tournament trials that day, Merlin worked with Gaius to try to help Knight Ewan recover for what seemed like a snake bite.

"Gaius," Merlin whispered, staring at the bite. "I must leave."

"What? Why?" her uncle looked at her confused.

"That bite. I know it was caused by Valiant's shield. Those snakes are enchanted."

"How would you know this? Do you have any proof? We cannot just go accusing Knights of dishonor like this. It will be a grave offense and a huge accusation. Without proof, we will not be looked upon favorably."

Merlin kept staring. "I could feel the enchantment's power humming to me. I saw one of the snakes wink at me."

"That is not enough," Gaius hissed. "And certainly, you cannot go and say 'I could feel the magic!' They would ask how and find out what you are! Then you would be killed!"

She backed away, "I need to go."

"Go? Go where?!"

"I'll be back!" she yelled as she ran.

But once she was at her destination, she hesitated. Licking her lips nervously, she knocked on the door to King Uther's chambers.

"Come in."

She reluctantly came inside and watched the cool-gazed King watch her from his table, still not asleep.

"Valiant is using magic," she revealed calmly, watching him with the same cool gaze.

"I know."

She froze.

"In his fight against Knight Ewan, I only was able to see three quick forms leap from his shield and bite Knight Ewan before retreating."

"If you knew, then why hadn't you warned me? I could have better prepared Arthur somehow before his upcoming fight with Valiant tomorrow."

"I was waiting for you to come to me. Besides," he scoffed, "You cannot prepare Arthur any more than he is for this. He must learn to be stronger and overcome challenges such as this, to better prepare himself for his role as future King."

It was her turn to scoff, "I thought you wanted to keep him safe?"

"Of course. But I am preparing him to face challenges and obstacles on his way to greatness, and you will be behind him to protect him if things go worse. You will find a way to expose of Valiant and get rid of him. Go then, to your little magic book and find a way."

She pursed her lips, "And what of Knight Ewan? He will die without an antidote. An antidote I can easily take from Valiant's shield and expose him at the same time."

"No," Uther hissed out, glaring at her. "He will not admit to it and keep his shield inactive. Then he will find out Knight Ewan will be revived and kill him so his secret will not be exposed. Your efforts will be fruitless."

She glared back. "Fine," she gritted her teeth and left before being dismissed.

But she didn't go back to Gaius. Instead, she went to Valiant's chambers and saw that he was still out. Quickly sneaking in, she prodded at the shield and wondered if she could just call on her magic and force the snakes out. Her eyes flashed gold and the snakes suddenly half leaped out.

Frowning, she cut one's head off with Valiant's sword, picked it up and ran. She let Gaius get the poison out so he could work on an antidote, but she grabbed the head and ran again, heading to Arthur's this time.

"You are sure of this?" he questioned her, looking quite serious.

"Yes," she said firmly, pleading with her eyes.

He looked hesitantly at her. "Merlin, so help me…You aren't lying?"

"I'm not lying! Look at it! Have you _seen_ a snake like that here in Camelot?!" she practically screamed at him.

He frowned heavily. "I'm trusting you on this. You better not have lied to me."

"I'm not," she said confidently.

"I'll have to get an audience with my father, and then convince him of Valiant's treachery," Arthur said wearily. "And you're sure that Knight Ewan will be waking up soon?"

"Yes. Gaius is working on an antidote now and probably administering it as we speak."

"Very well."

* * *

Things didn't go to plan. First, as Uther had warned her, Valiant wouldn't admit to it. Worse, she couldn't be in the room to use her magic and force the snakes to show themselves. Then Knight Ewan had died, apparently from another snake bite.

Uther was right again. Valiant had finished the job.

Then the worse part came. Arthur had screamed at her, yelling about how he had trusted her and ended up being humiliated and thought of as a coward. After that, he told her that he couldn't trust her, especially when it seemed she was a liar.

She was promptly fired after that.

So now she was sulking in a dank cave and glaring at the Great Dragon.

"I just came to tell you, whatever you think my destiny is, whatever it is you think I'm supposed to do, you've got the wrong person! That's it. Goodbye."

"If only it were so easy to escape one's destiny." She really hated the patronizing tone.

"How can it be my destiny to protect someone who hates me?" she grumbled.

"The half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole. Very soon, you shall learn that." Half? Whole? What the hell was it talking about?"

"Oh, great. Just what I needed. Another riddle," very soon, Merlin was going to start foaming in the mouth and start snarling at the Great Dragon. That's how frustrating it was talking to it.

"That your and Arthur's path lies together is but the truth."

"What's that supposed to mean?" her glare intensified. Maybe she could conjure some water and fling it at the dragon…

"You know, young sorceress, this is not the end. It is the beginning."

"Just give me a straight answer!" she finally just screamed.

It flew away, laughter billowing behind it.

That's it, next time she was going to be armed with water.

So now, instead of sulking in a dank cave, she was sulking on the steps in open sunny air.

"Merlin?" she glanced to her side balefully and saw Gwen.

She smiled ruefully. "Hey."

"Are you okay?" Gwen asked fretfully.

She sighed, "Yes…A bit upset, but I'll be okay."

"Was it…true? Valiant is using magic to cheat in the tournament?"

Merlin slumped forward, shoulders hunched over. "Yes, but no one believes me."

"You must do something about it."

Merlin scoffed. "Do what? There's nothing I can do. And besides, why should I always do something?"

Gwen offered a shy smile, "Because you seem like the type of person always wanting to help and do good. No one believes you, well you should prove them wrong."

Merlin peered at her intensely, causing Gwen to blush and start to fidget. Then Merlin grinned and hugged her. "Thanks, Gwen."

She ran off and tried to find Arthur. He was getting ready for the tournament final, and she anxiously approached him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her gruffly, not bothering to look at her.

"You can't fight Valiant. You know I'm telling the truth and he's going to kill you if you don't concede."

"Better to die than be a coward. I cannot lead my people, if they think I am a coward who'd rather run away," he answered in a short tone.

"How can you say that? You would be throwing away your life for nothing!" she said harshly.

Arthur stopped dressing himself and hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I believe you, Merlin. I don't know why, but I do," and then he was walking away from her and to the arena.

She gaped after him before chasing him and finally having to hide. The battle was starting and she could glimpse Uther watching on. Suddenly, his eyes were on her and she could read the message in them.

'_Do not let me down.'_

She breathed in deeply and called out to her magic, desperately wishing for the snakes to move. And then they did, moving out of the shield of their own volition, upsetting Valiant and surprising Arthur.

Uther played his part, being outraged but allowing his son to continue. She bristled at that, but didn't do anything more than watch, only subtly throwing a sword closer to Arthur, who picked it up and used it to slay the snakes and then kill Valiant.

It was a happily ever after scenario.

It seemed that way as they held the celebration feast, honoring Arthur's win, and after he had some sort of talk with Morgana had headed to Merlin's way and indirectly apologized, giving her her job back. She was keen on turning him down, but knew she couldn't. Not with Uther anyway. Besides, the job was growing on her and she was actually starting to sort of like it and enjoy Arthur's presence.

But it was after the feast that things had gone downhill. At the end of it, Uther had sent her a look and she knew what that meant. The feast over, she headed to his rooms and waited for him to start talking.

"You disobeyed me."

She winced, "I'm sorry, Uther."

"I deliberately told you not to do something and you went ahead and did it anyway. Sometimes I wonder if you really are as bright as I had thought you were!" he turned around and glared at her full force, making her turn her head slightly in shame, though her face looked resentful.

"I couldn't let a man die," she muttered.

"And he did anyway," he said coldly.

She had nothing to say to that.

"I am your King, you foolish girl. No matter how invaluable you are or how familiar or any allowances I give you, does not mean you may disobey me whenever you feel like it," he sneered.

She still kept silent.

"You must be punished," he murmured, softening slightly. "The stocks is nothing serious for you, and is more suited to your idiotic façade. No, something more serious and grave must be done to punish you."

He observed her and still she kept her mouth closed, and her eyes shamefully to the floor.

"You will swear an oath not to use magic for an entire week, and do everything from your chores and errands manually. Am I clear?"

She sucked in a harsh breath, shoulders tensing. "And what if I need it to protect Arthur?"

"Then add that to the oath."

She swallowed slowly but nodded. "I swear on my magic, let it be binding, that I will not use it for an entire week, unless I require its use in protecting or helping Arthur Pendragon. So shall I swear by the roots of Gaia, lest I face the consequences as determined by Uther Pendragon."

"Good. Now don't disobey me again."

"And what if there will come a time where I may have to?" she asked bitterly.

"Then be prepared to not be able to use magic for another indefinite time."

She nodded curtly and left without another word.

Uther had essentially cut off that which gave her life and reason of being.

It was the worse punishment that he could have ever given her.

Started 6/26/09 –Completed 6/26/09


	3. Babysoft Skin

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: For episode S1.3 ("The Mark of Nimueh") and mentions of future episodes.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…  
A/n: Can I say how much I love Uther, just because he was Giles in another life…??? Hehehe, King Giles…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Three: Baby-soft Skin_

"Your skin is soft," Arthur noticed.

Merlin rolled her eyes, offering a cheeky grin. "And?"

"That's so girly, Merlin," Arthur smirked teasingly.

She roughly tightened his belt, making him gasp in pain.

"It's just…shouldn't a servant have rough hands anyway? A manservant at that. Your hair, your skin, even your shape is feminine. Don't you get mistaken for a girl sometimes, Merlin?"

She tensed up slightly, but forced herself to relax so she could answer. "Yes and it's bothersome."

"Then why keep your hair long and do you keep your skin soft somehow?"

She pretended to focus on his cape, "It's just a preference. I feel like keeping my hair long and my skin is naturally soft."

"Oh."

That ended their conversation on an awkward note.

"Don't forget to clean my room, polish my other pairs of shoes, take out my laundry, and then muck out the stables," he ordered smartly, grinning as he walked away.

She rolled her eyes, but oddly couldn't stop herself from smiling fondly at his back. She quickly wiped it off when she realized what she was doing. Quickly doing magic to clean his room and polish his shoes, she took his laundry and started on her way to Uther's chambers.

Merlin hadn't commented on how strange it was to find Arthur's skin was soft as well.

"Come in," and she walked in, her face smoothly blanking over.

"How has your week been?" he asked, not looking up from his breakfast.

"Fine," she answered shortly, leaning against his table and next to his chair.

"You have two days left, yes?"

She nodded.

"I see," and kept quiet.

"You have soft skin." Like father like son, she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I've realized," she answered wryly. "Your son's mentioned it."

"No, I didn't mean your skin," he said confusingly. "I meant, that gentleness you keep around Arthur and for that idiot façade is even present with me. You need to toughen yourself up."

It was her turn to be quiet. She'd realized, she was more like herself around Uther than around anyone else, and it bothered her greatly. But she also knew, she preferred how she was around Arthur –bright, happy, and even if that meant she had to be incompetent. She'd rather stay in the light with Arthur, and hopefully as her destiny said, that time would come. But for now, she would shadow him in the darkness with Uther.

It was very strange how attached she was becoming to the Prince.

"You would die for Arthur, yes?"

Merlin's eyes widened, "Of course."

He smiled but then it turned frosty, "But would you _kill_ for him?"

She froze, "W-what?"

"You heard me, Merlin."

She didn't answer and stayed quiet, thinking intensely.

"That's what I mean. You must kill off your heart and learn to kill for Arthur. Do you understand me now?"

She nodded reluctantly.

"Go then. I see you have Arthur's laundry to do, and I'm sure he has more chores in mind to inflict onto you."

"Why don't you talk with Morgana instead? I hear you used to, before I came," Merlin wondered bitterly, gathering Arthur's laundry.

"Because she's too close to Arthur."

"And I'm not?" she asked, her tone slightly mocking.

"Morgana has beliefs, you believe in duty. You're suiting for secrets, and you have the threat of execution over your head. She's very hotheaded and would go with her feelings, regardless if I ordered her to not. You keep a level head."

'_You're cold like me,'_ went unsaid. Because Merlin was very much like Uther, and that helped tie them together.

"Go."

And she didn't look back.

* * *

"What is this?" Merlin murmured, glancing at the body.

"Some type of illness. I do not recognize it, but I do see signs of sorcery as the cause," Gaius flinched and glanced at her in worry.

She blanched. This was not good.

Indeed, when they brought the news to Uther, he looked furious and sent a quick glance to her. Uther ordered his son to search off the houses in town, and to leave his manservant to Gaius. Arthur reluctantly looked at Merlin and left her behind.

"Gaius, get started on that cure. Boy, stay here for further instructions."

Then it was just she and Uther left, and she was caught by surprise by the sudden speed Uther had reached her and was suddenly cutting off her airflow.

"How dare you do this?" he hissed, hand tightening around her throat.

"I-I didn't," she gasped out. "I swore on my magic, remember?"

"And how do I know that your oaths are even valid?" he glared.

Merlin's face smoothed over and her eyes hardened. "You don't," she scowled faintly, her voice cold.

She could see Uther's jaw clench and unclench several times, before with relief he let go of her throat.

"You are still to find a cure," he spat out. And then he suddenly became weary, "My people are dying. I cannot allow for this to happen."

"I will go to Gaius now," she said softly, but still watching him warily.

He nodded and waved her away.

By Gaius' side, they studied the first body they'd found.

"I don't understand how someone can use magic so evilly," Merlin murmured.

"Magic corrupts, my dear. Magic is only as good as its user, and if the sorcerer's intentions aren't honorable…" he didn't finish as there was rapid knocking on their door.

"Gaius, this is Prince Arthur!"

Gaius opened the door and the Prince swept in, his guards following behind him.

"It's only protocol, Gaius. I hope you don't mind but we'll have to search your chambers. We'll try not to mess anything too much," Arthur apologized, starting the search off.

"What's in here?"Arthur asked, reaching Merlin's room.

"My room, you prat. Where else do you think I'll sleep?" Merlin smirked.

He shot her a look, but rolled his eyes in the process. He searched her room before coming back out.

"You have a cupboard. Use it, idiot," Arthur snarked and then left with the rest of the guards.

"Where did you put the magic book I gave you?" Gaius asked nervously.

"On my bed," Merlin said nonchalantly.

"In plain sight?!"

Merlin smirked again, "Hidden illusion."

"Merlin, you will be the death of me."

She snickered to herself. "So, about using magic as a cure…"

"Absolutely not," Gaius glared.

"And why not?" she glared back.

"Uther cannot find out!"

She bit back her reply, but bitterly thought it instead. _'But he already knows.'_

"We must find the source," Gaius comforted, and Merlin quietly accepted it.

* * *

She just messed everything up.

First, they found that the illness was spread through water. Then, Gwen's father had the illness and she went to them, hysterically asking for them to cure him. But they didn't have a cure. And that's where things went all wrong. Merlin decided to heal Tom herself. With magic.

Gaius had gone to Uther to tell him of their findings, she had been celebrating with Gwen, and all the while Arthur realized Tom had suddenly recovered from the fatal disease.

Why the hell hadn't she removed the poultice after?!

Gwen was arrested and accused of sorcery.

Gaius shook his head and warned her again that being a sorceress held responsibilities. She visited Gwen and felt that guilt double. And she promised she wouldn't let the servant girl die.

So that's why she was here now, in front of Uther and claiming she was the witch who'd cured Gwen's father. And then Arthur had to ruin it, the bloody prat.

"He has a mental illness," Arthur proclaimed, chuckling.

"He does?" Uther asked, eyebrow raising and watching her with unfathomable eyes.

"He's in love," the Prince was still chuckling. "Merlin is a wonder, but the wonder is that he's such an idiot. There's no way he's a sorcerer."

Merlin left with Gaius, grumbling and glaring at nothing.

"You know, it is very likely that Prince Arthur saved your life," Gaius commented.

"_I will not protect you if you are discovered. You will be executed, as all the others have been."_

"Yes, Arthur likely did," Merlin murmured.

"Come, Merlin. Let us take a sample of the water from the vault," Gaius subtly changed the subject.

Merlin nodded and they headed to the vault, using torches to light their way through. Merlin quickly dipped a vial in and then took it out, making sure it was filled with water. They were about to leave when they heard a monstrous roar and they glimpsed a monster before they ran.

"What on earth was that?" Merlin said through her heavy breathing.

Gaius was gasping from being breathless, far more out of shape than she. "Let me see."

He finished putting some type of flower in the vial of water before looking to his books and starting to search through them.

"Ah, here! An…Afanc. Only the most powerful of sorcerers can make one."

"How do we defeat it?" Merlin asked unnerved.

"I don't know."

Her lip curled and she glared at the tome. Looks like another visit to the dragon was in order.

"The great sorceress returns, as I knew she would."

Merlin tossed some conjured water at the thing. "I need to know how to defeat an Afanc," she asked blandly, face smoothed over except for the twitching at the corner of her eye.

"Yes, I suppose you do," it chuckled, ignoring the harmless attack, though it did wince.

"Will you help me?" she reluctantly asked.

"Trust the elements that are at your command." Oh no, he was not pulling that cryptic crap on her again…

"Elements? What is it I have to do?" Merlin glared, clearly irritated.

"You cannot do this alone. You are but one side of a coin. Arthur is the other."

"What?! That's it?! Be more specific! Tell me more! And don't tell me I have to work with that moron again!" she screeched, but the Great Dragon was already disappearing from her sight.

"Bloody animal."

* * *

"Clay, water and earth versus air and fire," Merlin murmured, once Gaius had provided immeasurable help finding out what she could do.

"Gwen will be executed in the evening," Morgana burst into their chambers, looking upset.

The two of them looked alarmed, first at the abrupt entrance (good thing nothing to expose magic was in view) and then at her announcement.

"Stay here! I'll be back!" Merlin yelled as she ran.

"Does…he do that often?" Morgana asked dazedly.

Gaius sighed.

Meanwhile, Merlin had reached Uther in the throne room.

"You can't do this. You know Gwen is innocent. It was me who cured her father," Merlin pleaded.

Uther stared stoically at her. "I know."

"What? Then why did you arrest her?!" Why did this seem familiar?

"Because you're invaluable!" he roared, eyes turning into daggers that stabbed into her.

That was the second time he'd admitted to that, though this time it had made more importance.

"She is just a servant girl."

"So am I," she said defiantly.

"You were about to be exposed, but you are of more use than she. I'd rather her death than yours," he stated decisively.

"An Afanc is responsible. I can find it and defeat it, and prove Gwen's innocence."

Uther was silent for a moment. "Very well. But you cannot defeat it by yourself."

"And why not? It can be defeated with fire and air. I can use my magic," she argued.

"And how will that be explained to the people? Sorcery will still be at play, and the people will be worried. You must take Arthur with you. The people are used to him saving them in some way or other, and if he seemingly defeats this monster then they will not question it. No one would think of sorcery and your friend Gwen will be freed."

Merlin gritted her teeth, but nodded. He was right. As always.

She'd gone to Arthur then and persuaded him of the Afanc.

"You believed me with the snakes, believe me now, Arthur," she said gravely.

He only hesitated a moment before following after her. She was surprised and oddly disappointed with how easy it was to defeat the Afanc. But at least Gwen was cleared and set free.

Her father thanked her and Morgana, leaving with a blushing and grateful Gwen at his side.

"Merlin, I wanted you to know your secret's safe with me."

"My secret?" Oh no…

"Come on. Don't pretend. I know what you did."

"You do?"

"I saw it with my own eyes." Wait a second, how did she do that? She was freaking sleeping in Merlin's room when she got back with Arthur after defeating the Afanc.

"You did?" Makes no sense really, she was stuck with Gaius and nowhere near her…

"I understand why you don't want anyone to know."

"Well, obviously..."

"I won't tell anyone. You don't mind me talking to you about it?"

"No. It's... you have no idea how hard it is to keep this hidden." This…could actually be a good thing.

"Well, you can continue to deny it but... I think Gwen's a very lucky woman." Merlin resisted the urge to facefault. _Wait, what?_

But she stared after Morgana and thought. Either she thought Gwen was a lucky woman because she thought Merlin was in love with her, because Merlin was a powerful sorcerer and in love with her, or Morgana was being crafty and twisting her words so that she was being vague on what secret she really knew.

Perhaps Morgana really did know about Merlin's magic and was just pretending she thought her secret was about being in love with Gwen.

* * *

In celebration of the illness being "cured" and the source of it found, a feast was held in Arthur's honor. Merlin slipped out and thought she was home free when surprisingly Arthur caught her. But he was actually drunk.

"Oh dear, the royal ass can't handle his liquor."

He pouted, "I can too!"

She was about to snap out another retort when she stiffened up, Arthur having stumbled forward and grasping her shoulders tightly.

"Let go of me," she said coldly, reverting back to a more natural defense.

"Hey, what happened to my cheery idiot?" If it was possible, he pouted even harder.

She sighed and smiled weakly, "Come on, you prat. Let's get you to your room."

But he refused, holding fast onto her and nuzzling her clothed shoulder with his cheek. "You're so soft…"

"So you keep saying," she chuckled, starting to see some amusement in this.

"And pretty."

She froze up, feeling as if that was becoming habit.

"I shouldn't think like that. I'm the Crown Prince and you're a boy. A pretty boy, but a boy nonetheless."

"Let's get you to bed," she said tiredly.

"Only if you get in with me," he smiled drunkenly, but it was somehow adorable.

"I'm your manservant, Sire. Just shut up and come with me," but it was too late and he'd fallen asleep on her.

She used magic to help drag him to his room.

After dealing with Arthur, the feast was over and Uther would want a report on what really happen. She went to his chambers and was surprised to find the King himself drunk.

"This…is starting to be a bad reoccurrence," she winced.

"Merlin! There you are! Saw you sneaking out and Arthur followed you after. You haven't been enchanting him behind my back have you?" the man slurred all the way through, making it hard to understand.

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief, "I swore an oath."

"Who trust those things?" Uther actually giggled. "And besides, enchantments doesn't always cause harm. You could've –you could've enc-enchanted him to like you because you like him. That's not harmful, j-just mean. Meanie."

"Uther. Shut up and get to bed. I'll report to you in the morning."

The silly demeanor of Uther's disappeared and he seemed almost himself. _Almost_.

He was immediately in front of her, hugging her close and muttering incomprehensibly into her neck.

"I don't understand a word you're saying, so sober up, old man, and let me help you to your bed," she said harshly.

"So soft…Use an illusion," he muttered. "J-just pretend to be Ingraine for one night."

He kissed her neck and she flinched, grabbing the front of his robe and roughly tossing him to the floor.

She stared at him stoically, but instead of the harsh remark he'd expected she just rolled her eyes.

"You hate magic. You are _not_ asking _me_ to make myself look like your dead wife, so do as I say and help me get you to your bed."

Instead of getting angry, he just stared at her from his position on the floor. "You're so mean."

Drunk Pendragons were just a pain in the ass.

"Do you want to get on your bed or not?" she asked impatiently.

"I think I want to stay here for awhile. I'll drag myself to my bed later," he muttered, flopping back onto his back and staring morosely at the ceiling.

She sighed and wondered if she was doing that too many times. It's because of these bloody royals, she swore. Walking to the door, she paused and turned back, watching the depressing figure of the King lie back on the hard floor.

Pursing her lips, she waved her hand and created a realistic and solid illusion of Ingraine Pendragon, and left the room. Just because she wouldn't do it, didn't mean the King didn't deserve some sort of illusion for one night.

Started 6/26/09 –Completed 6/26/09


	4. Lips are Venomous Poison

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: For episode S1.4 ("Poisoned Chalice") and mentions of future episodes.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Four: Lips are Venomous Poison_

Neither Uther nor Arthur would look at her in the morning, so she wondered if they remembered any of it. After doing most of the chores for Arthur, she went to Uther and reported yesterday's events, stretching and idly putting her arms crossed behind her head.

"That's all."

Uther nodded, "Lord Bayard is coming here to sign a peace treaty. Behave yourself…and please watch my son."

"Always, milord," and she quickly left.

When Lord Bayard and his company came, there was a huge welcome feast. As celebrations were underway, Lord Bayard wanted to present ceremonial cups to the King and Prince.

"Excuse me, milady," one of Bayard's servant girls hesitantly approached the hidden Merlin.

Merlin had been observing the festivities in the background, eyes roving everywhere but mainly keeping a keen watch over the royal family. She'd been disconcerted when her concentration had been disrupted by the unknown woman. She hadn't even noticed the woman had referred to her as a _she_.

She glanced at her and debated. It _was_ her duty to make sure she was able to gather information, whether valuable or not, just as long as she had made sure they had information that could be used accordingly.

"Name?" she ordered, aware that she was acting like she was of higher rank. An influence from Uther, most probably.

"Kara."

"Tell me what's wrong?' she softened her voice and smiled softly, moving into a balance that was between her façade with Arthur and others and how she really was.

"I-I saw him. Before coming here. He'd poisoned Prince Arthur's cup. He believes it will leave King Uther broken and easily leave Camelot open to an invasion. Please! Don't let them harm me for telling you."

Merlin's eyes widened and she glanced quickly to Arthur, seeing him about to drink from the cup. She ran to him and snatched the cup out of his hands.

"It's poisoned!" she hissed, glaring angrily at Bayard.

"How dare you! Who is this boy?" Bayard yelled, affronted.

"This is a grave accusation. Where do you come from such serious information?" Uther asked calmly, something she thought was influenced by her when she knew he would be spitting fire by now. And threatening her. Yes, definitely threatening her.

"I can't say," Merlin inwardly flinched, but hid her uneasiness.

"This is madness! How dare you accuse me of such treason!" Bayard whipped out his sword and pointed it at Merlin, his knights doing the same. That prompted Camelot's knights to take out their swords in wary defense.

"I'll handle this, Father," Arthur cut in, smirking. "Merlin, you idiot. Have you been at the sloe gin again?"

Merlin transferred her glare to Arthur, no sign of any of the usual cheeriness and all seriousness. Arthur almost took a step back in surprise, having never witness this side of her.

"You say you have no hand in this. Then you have nothing to fear," Uther said, looking at Bayard, though Merlin knew he was really staring her at the corner of his eyes.

Bayard held out his hand defiantly, but Uther shook his head. "No, if it is true, I would rather kill you myself. Drink it, boy."

Merlin hesitated, confused. She stared at him, but Uther had a straight face. His eyes, however, were cold and unyielding but they sent a clear message and underlining expectant.

'_Do it. You said you would die for him, so drink it. Prove that you would.'_

Merlin steeled herself and gulped the drink in one go.

"It's f –" she was about to say "fine" when she started to choke and fall to the ground.

Arthur scrambled to her, and Gaius, Gwen and Morgana quickly followed after. Uther stared passively, though with a quiet anger, at them, his knights going to arrest Bayard and his people. She wasn't quite sure if that anger was directed at her…

* * *

The events that followed were very peculiar. Arthur desperately chased after a cure to the poison, and ended up being arrested when he got back. Gwen was worried and terrified, before she'd gone to get water and didn't return for a long time. Truth was that she'd ended up in Morgana's chambers, crying her eyes out on the shoulder of the King's ward. Gaius did all he could, looking to slow down the poison. It was all he could do without being able to make the antidote. And he almost had a heart attack, seeing Merlin perform magic while unconscious and had hid the glowing orb in her hand by using a thicker blanket to go over the one already on her, dampening the bright glow.

The most surprising of things?

Uther visited Gaius' chambers and stood silently by his side, watching over Merlin. In fact, the King had stood by Gaius from the moment Merlin had been brought in, only leaving to berate Arthur, keep his son from going to get the cure, and then finally to visit Arthur in the dungeon and refuse to give Gaius the flower.

Gaius was angry, but couldn't question his King. Still, why would Uther do all that and yet stand by him, watching over Merlin?

Though, as an afterthought, he had been lucky to have been able to distract Uther before Merlin could start subconsciously using magic, and was able to get the blanket over her before Uther noticed anything strange –still, he couldn't do anything about Merlin's mutterings of incantations, but Uther strangely said nothing.

Uther disappeared at night, where everyone was most probably asleep, except for himself and the King. He assumed Uther had gone to bed finally, and Gaius was left alone with the gravely ill Merlin.

"Here," and he was surprised to find Uther back and the Mortaeus flower in his hand.

"But –"

"Take it and make the antidote," Uther ordered harshly.

Gaius nodded and quickly set to work, fixing it quickly. He tensed, seeing a certain part in the book that said the potion required magic to make it work.

"What's wrong?" Uther's still harsh voice questioned.

He hesitated, "Nothing, Your Majesty."

"In privacy, you have always called me Uther…unless something was wrong. What is it?"

Gaius opened his mouth and then shut it. This happened several times before he decided to just get on with it.

"The potion requires magic, but I'll see if I can make do without it –"

"Just do it," Uther interrupted stoically.

Gaius head whipped around quickly, facing Uther with an incredulous stare. Uther was staring at Merlin with an unreadable gaze.

"Uther…?"

"I will overlook it this one time, Gaius. Use _magic_," the King spat out the word, "to finish the potion."

Gaius stared before bracing himself and chanting an incantation, holding tightly to the cup. The concoction bubbled and turned green, before the bubbles settled down.

"It's done," the physician announced and then he went to Merlin and held it to her lips. "Swallow, Merlin," he murmured.

"He's stopped breathing. What's happening? Gaius?" Uther visibly tensed up.

Gaius leaned over and listened to Merlin's chest, glad it was covered and Uther couldn't find out Merlin was really a female.

"His heart has stopped," Gaius' own heart felt like it had stopped.

"He's dead?!" Uther growled, eyes only widening a fraction.

"He can't be. It can't be. It was his destiny," he muttered in a daze.

Uther stayed quiet, and Gaius wasn't sure if he was imagining the flash of self-anger in the man's eyes.

"I'm not dead, you old fools," Merlin muttered, starting to stir and open her eyes.

"Merlin, you're alive!" Gaius ran forward and grabbed her into a hug. "And don't insult the King!" he lightly smacked her head. But she caught the quick flash of amusement and relief in Uther's eyes, so she didn't really panic.

* * *

"I am glad you seem to be better," Uther said as Merlin stood before him.

"Quite, Uther," she allowed a small smirk to appear on her face.

"You have served well."

And she looked at him in surprise, seeing the concealed look of pride in his eyes directed at her. She became awkward and speechless, before straightening up and pretending she hadn't become shocked.

"Odd that you saved me after everything. I thought you were going to let me die."

"You're invaluable. Of course I wouldn't, especially since my idiot son went to all the trouble of risking his life for your cure." And she surprisingly heard a bit of the past worry he'd experience on her behalf.

"I see," she murmured. She didn't really, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that. Uther was just too troublesome and confusing.

"But you have proven your loyalty to Arthur, at the very least. You said you would be willing to die for him, and you proved it. Your word is honorable, with or without an oath."

She nodded and turned to leave.

"Wait."

She paused and looked back, quietly realizing Uther had gotten up from his throne and was walking towards her. Shocked again when the King embraced her, she barely heard the whispered "thank you" in gratitude for saving his son.

"As always, Your Majesty," she murmured. "Don't doubt that."

He never really had.

"I was never really going to let you die," he confessed. "I cannot protect Arthur on my own. I truly do need you."

She nodded. Secrets for secrets, and they were beyond doubt in it together.

Co-conspirators indeed.

* * *

"_Still alive then?"_

_  
"Yeah, just about. I understand I have you to thank for that."_

_  
"Yeah, well, it was nothing. A half-decent servant is hard to come by. I was only dropping by to make sure you were alright. Check that you'll be back to work tomorrow."_

_  
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course. Bright and early. Arthur…thank you."_

"_You too. Get some rest."_

"You're better then?" Arthur asked the next morning, after her talk with Uther.

She nodded and gave him a big grin. "Absolutely. What do you want me to do, Sire?"

Arthur looked at her seriously, "Just follow me."

Confused, she followed him as he led her out to the stables and had her go riding with him. She rode her horse slightly behind him, and he headed out of Camelot and into the surrounding forest.

Soon, he was leading her to a beautiful clearing that she saw was actually a meadow.

"I come here to think sometimes," Arthur said suddenly.

She didn't respond, letting Arthur keep talking.

"I was really worried you would die. I thought you did, and then I heard that you _had_ died for a second," Arthur continued to admit his thoughts. He stopped his horse, making sure she'd caught up and was right next to him. His hand shot out and grabbed her reigns, pulling her closer to him by using her horse. He rested his head against her shoulder, hand still gripping the reigns of her horse tightly.

"You saved me and almost died for me. Thank you, Merlin," he whispered against her.

She sat still, gazing ahead blankly.

She didn't show her shiver as Arthur tilted his head up and kissed the corner of her mouth. The sinking feeling in her stomach grew worse and she felt a heavier load on her shoulders, than her burden had been before.

This was not fair at all.

Started 6/26/09 –Completed 6/27/09

Preview:

"Lancelot," Arthur frowned.

Merlin blinked, "Yes. Lancelot."

"This…Lancelot. He wants to be a knight."

Arthur turned his back to her as he talked. "Only those of noble blood can become a knight. Is he a noble?"

She hesitated and smiled nervously, "Y-yes. He is."

"Then bring him tomorrow morning," Arthur ordered curtly. "And tell him to bring his seal of nobility."

The entire day, Arthur acted like he was pissed off and Merlin had no idea why. She only knew he was taking it out on her.


	5. The Immortal Secrets of a Sorceress

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S1.5 ("Lancelot") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…  
A/n: More humorous than the others, at least...Special thanks to Chaney for her lovely expressive reviews and Rossi's Lil Devil for being the first reviewer, and both for the support from the beginning. Thanks to everyone else for reading, favoriting, and alerting!

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Five: The Immortal Secrets of a Sorceress_

"I have heard reports of such a creature," Uther muttered unhappily.

"There's more. When the man I was with swung his sword against the creature, the sword shattered into pieces," Merlin finished up her report.

The King frowned, "A magical creature then. I cannot announce that. It will cause too much panic and terror amongst the people. You must find out what it is, find a way to destroy it, and have Arthur look like he did."

"Fine."

The King suddenly narrowed his eyes, "So the man you were with…you seem a little attached."

Merlin was confused, but still answered. "I suppose…"

"You will let him court you then?"

"What?!"

"Arthur would be most upset."

"Sire, I'm Arthur's _manservant_. You're obviously not thinking right."

"He seems most taken with you. I am sure Arthur would be unhappy that you've allowed a stranger to court you," Uther smirked.

"Are you actually teasing me?!"

Uther's smirk widened.

"_Uther_, your son is the Crown Prince. And I told you I didn't enchant him."

"Who said anything about enchantments?" Uther asked innocently.

"Why is it that you Pendragons seem to be insufferable? I thought it was just Arthur, but clearly it's obvious where he gets it from," she sighed exasperatedly.

"I will talk to Arthur about the creature," Uther turned serious and probably did it on purpose to confound her. "Go on and do your duties for my son…and see to that new man of yours."

She resisted the urge to scream aloud, but that didn't mean she didn't stomp out.

When she'd gone back to Arthur, he was adjusting the cuffs of his shirt.

"There you are. I was wondering where you were," the blond smirked.

"I was checking up on Lancelot," she said, having done just that after her meeting with Uther. She headed to his bed and started to fix it up.

She missed the dark look that passed over Arthur's face, and missed him suddenly appearing behind her. She only noticed him once he'd wrapped his arms loosely around her waist and had rested his chin nonchalantly on her shoulder.

"So you like him then?"

"Arthur, I'm a _boy_."

"Then Lancelot likes little boys," Arthur lightly growled, moving his head so that his lips were talking against her neck.

She swallowed nervously and knew he'd felt that.

She was definitely sure that there wasn't any jealousy in his voice. Really.

"Should I be worried for any competition?" his voice turned slightly husky.

"I'm your manservant, Sire. Quit teasing," and she slipped easily out of his hold and calmly escaped to the other side of the bed to finish up. "Your father wishes to talk to you…Go on, prat. You have duties to attend to."

He gave her an unreadable look, before turning on his heel sharply and striding out of his room.

She let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding.

* * *

After mucking out the stables, Merlin had washed herself and then gone to her room to change. However, she'd forgotten that she had a new roommate by the name of Lancelot…

"Merlin, you would never believe who I just saw!" he burst into her room.

5…4…3…2…1…

"Oh," was all Lancelot said before fainting dead away.

She huffed, very much peeved, but dressed herself quickly. The nerve of some people…

When Lancelot awoke, he turned completely red and started stammering out apologies. She glared at him and he shut up, but his red face, ears, and neck turned even darker –if that was even possible.

"So, uh, you're a woman."

"Yes."

"A woman."

"_Yes._"

"A –"

"Yes, a woman!"

He coughed embarrassedly. "I apologize. I was just so excited…"

"Look, it doesn't matter. Just tell me who you saw," she interrupted impatiently.

"Prince Arthur!"

"…And?"

Lancelot gaped at her. "But…I saw the Prince…"

"Lancelot, I'm the Prince's manservant. I see him all the time and he's really not all that great."

Lancelot continued. "You…know the Prince?"

She sighed but smiled fondly at him, "Yes, Lancelot. I know the Prince. I told you. I'm his manservant."

"M-manservant? Is that why you…you know?"

"Why I dress like a guy?" she grinned.

"Um, yes."

"Mostly. It's a long story."

"I hope you'll tell it to me sometime?" he shyly grinned back.

"Maybe," she teased.

"It's just…I thought seeing Prince Arthur was a sign. I really want to be a knight."

"I'll speak to Arthur about you trying out for knighthood," Merlin smiled gently.

Lancelot smiled back gratefully, "Thank you."

They started eating together, and that was how Gaius found them later, talking animatedly about anything they could think of –barring magic.

* * *

"Lancelot," Arthur frowned.

Merlin blinked, "Yes. Lancelot."

"This…Lancelot. He wants to be a knight."

Arthur turned his back to her as he talked. "Only those of noble blood can become a knight. Is he a noble?"

She hesitated and smiled nervously, "Y-yes. He is."

"Then bring him tomorrow morning," Arthur ordered curtly. "And tell him to bring his seal of nobility."

The entire day, Arthur acted like he was pissed off and Merlin had no idea why. She only knew he was taking it out on her.

Now, Merlin had been able to tell Lancelot about the nobility problem. He wasn't nobility. And after hearing why he wanted to be a knight so badly, she did the unthinkable. She forged a seal with magic and presented it to him. She even endured Gaius' rants about how she shouldn't have and how she'd just broken the First Code of Camelot.

She wasn't really. She was just bending them. A little.

Gwen even helped forged chain mail for him, and he seemed to show interest in her. Which was good, because then _certain_ people would stop thinking she and Lancelot were some sort of couple. Or couple to be.

After the first disastrous meeting, Lancelot was repeatedly dogged by Arthur, first by making him do chores and then by challenging Lancelot to a mock sword fight with a stick. At least, Lancelot was moved to basic training after that.

By then, she and Gaius had found out the creature was a Gryphon and could only be defeated by magic. Uther hadn't been happy with that news, but he'd pressured Arthur into getting ready to fight it while simultaneously pushing her to hurry up and find a way to defeat it.

The only good news was that Lancelot's trial was pushed up and he'd succeeded. And at the feast that night, she was actually celebrating.

"This is horrible."

"I don't know about you, but my invitation said this was a celebration," Merlin pouted at Gaius.

Catching sight of Gwen, Merlin hurried off and caught up to her.

"Merlin!"

"Hey, Gwen." Merlin waited a moment and then… "You know what? I think our Sir Lancelot might have eyes for you, Gwen."

"Don't be silly."

"So what if he did? Would it really be so bad?" Merlin teased.

"He's not really my type."

"Oh, there's a surprise. Sometimes, Guinevere, I wonder if you'd know what your type was if it was standing right next to you." For some reason, Gwen gave her an amused look at that.

"You're probably right."

"So, come on, just for the sake of argument. If you had to: Arthur or Lancelot?"

"But I don't have to and I never will."

"You're no fun, Gwen," she pouted.

"Arthur looks like he's grilling Lancelot. They're glancing over here for some reason. Oh, Arthur looks relieved now," Gwen pointed out, and Merlin's attention was diverted to that.

"I am definitely thinking something's going on. We should sneak over –"

"Oh no we won't."

And that was mostly how the night went. Surprising herself with how much mead she'd drunk, she and Lancelot woke up in the morning disoriented and with accompanying headaches.

Gaius was already ready with his hangover cure, and they took it gratefully. That is, only to run into another headache. Lancelot was being arrested for breaking the First Code of Camelot. Unfortunately, Merlin was kept out of the proceedings so she didn't know what had happened until Gaius returned and retold the events. Her blood ran cold when Gaius told her Uther wanted to see her.

"Uther."

"Merlin," he repeated her short tone, but he strangely seemed amused.

"Going to throw me into the dungeon? Or maybe you'd rather have me executed finally?" She didn't let herself reveal anything on her face.

"You helped break the First Code."

She winced, but nodded.

"I am entirely angry about that. However, I find myself more amused. You seem to be intent on completely undermining my authority. And especially now, for this _Lancelot_…"

"Before you start on that," she started exasperatedly, "He only has eyes for Gwen."

"Morgana's servant girl?"

"Yes, _Sire_."

"Well, at least Arthur doesn't have to worry anymore."

She was about to retort and comment about his strange behavior, when a horrible screech echoed through the room and from the outside. She started to race out, Uther on her heels, and they both saw Arthur's weapon shatter as it hit the Gryphon.

"Hurry and find a way to defeat that thing already," Uther's voice turned cold. "I will be sending Arthur out tonight to kill it. Shadow him and get rid of that beast."

He grasped her shoulder and squeezed tightly in warning, before turning sharply and leaving in a familiar fashion. She grumbled and left herself, already hurrying to Gaius. There, she determinedly searched through the books until Gaius returned and helped her. Together, they found a powerful incantation to enhance weapons magically. Memorizing it quickly, a little disgruntled that she might not have it in her to perform it and even more annoyed that she'd actually have to incant the spell.

She immediately slammed the book shut and swiped it off the table when Gwen burst in unexpectedly, shouting about how Lancelot was going after Arthur. Gaius discreetly hid the book under his table with his foot.

"Wait? What? Arthur's already left?! And Lancelot's going after him?! Wasn't he in _prison_?" Merlin groaned and shot up from her seat, running out the door.

After catching up with Lancelot, grumbling under her breath about the difficult men in her life, they rode out and chased after Arthur's trail. When they found the group, Merlin immediately searched out Arthur, and panicked when she saw him lying against a boulder. She sighed in relief when he was only knocked out cold.

The Gryphon came back and screeched. Lancelot started to prepare for a charge and she growled in irritation. When he urged his horse into a run, she began chanting the spell and hoped to hell she would be able to do it.

"Brechdan an weal!"

She grinned when the lance started glowing intensely and then finally struck the Gryphon and killed it.

"Oh, I am so good," she said smugly.

* * *

She wanted to kick Uther in the head. Seriously. They'd only come back and already Uther was on a warpath. Arthur had released Lancelot before going after Gryphon, first thing pissing off Uther, then Lancelot was back, second thing pissing him off, _Lancelot_ was the one who'd defeated the Gryphon, third thing pissing the King off, and now Arthur was arguing on his behalf –the final thing pissing him off.

Well, at least she wasn't one of the points pissing Uther off. She hoped.

"They'll restore your knighthood, of course they will. You killed the griffin," Merlin hid her nervousness by trying to reassure Lancelot.

"But I didn't kill the griffin. You did." She grew cold at that.

"That's ridiculous," she laughed it off.

"'Brechdan an weal.' I heard you. I saw you. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me, but I cannot take the credit for what I did not do. There'll be no more lies, no more deceit," Lancelot said determinedly.

"What are you going to do?" She was getting a bad feeling…

"The only thing I can do."

Lancelot tried to enter the chamber, but the guards stopped him. Frustrated, he looked to Uther and tried to push forward.

"What is this?" Uther frowned.

"Let me speak," he growled at the guards.

"Wait. I will hear him," Uther surprisingly said, a quick glance at Merlin saying everything. He was doing this as a favor to her.

"Forgive me, Sire. I have come to bid you farewell."

"What is this, Lancelot?" Arthur asked incredulously. Merlin did too, and she tried hard not to gape.

"I lied to you both and now there is conflict between you. I cannot bear that burden, as you should not bear mine. I must start again, far from here, and maybe one day fate will grant me another chance to prove myself a worthy knight of Camelot," Lancelot admirably spoke.

"But, Lancelot, you've already proved that to us," Arthur argued.

"Well, I must prove it to myself." Lancelot bowed to the King. "Your Highness." He bowed again to Arthur. "Prince Arthur."

Lancelot left them behind in the chamber.

* * *

"Perhaps your friend Lancelot truly has proven himself," Uther started off the conversation, still tucking into his dinner.

"He's loyal to Camelot and only wishes to serve," Merlin frowned at him.

"Arthur was adamant I restore his knighthood. I was actually contemplating it and was almost convinced when your friend burst into the room."

She was stunned and tried to say something or anything.

"Both you and Arthur stubbornly vouched and believed in this man, so I wondered. But he's gone now. Maybe another time."

Merlin shook her head. "Sometimes, I really don't understand you, Uther Pendragon."

Uther ignored her and kept eating.

She resisted the urge to spell his food into rats.

Started 6/27/09 –Completed 6/28/09

Preview:

"Are you certain there is nothing you can do, Gaius?" Uther asked him anxiously.

"I've already given her what I can, but I feel it is too late."

"So quick and sudden…" Uther muttered worriedly. "Arthur, fetch this Edwin Muirden. We must allow him a chance at least, for Morgana's sake."

"Edwin Muirden," Merlin murmured to herself quietly. She frowned.

Something was wrong.


	6. Headcase Trauma

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From S1.6 ("A Remedy to Cure All Ills") with mentions of future episodes.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Six: Headcase Trauma _

In the early morning, loud knocking awoke both Gaius and Merlin. They wearily saw who it was, becoming somewhat alert when they saw a little boy.

"The King requests Merlin's presence," he spoke hesitantly.

"This early in the morning?" Merlin grumbled to herself, already getting ready. Gaius eyed her oddly while she did so, but she didn't notice.

"Alright, thank you," she spoke to the servant boy. "I'm on my way."

She left with a quick goodbye to Gaius and hurried to the King's chambers, mumbling about the hour and what he could want.

"Morgana…she's ill," was the first thing she heard.

Her eyes widened, "Look here, I had nothing to do with it. I may not have said her name in my oath, but you know I would never hurt her!"

Uther sighed, "I know."

She hated when he just answered her like that and never elaborated –wait, what?

"Then…why did you call me here?"

"I didn't know who else to talk to," he confessed. "Morgana is very dear to me and to see her so ill…I've already sent for Gaius to come see her, but I felt I needed to talk to someone now. If you don't mind me talking."

It was a rare, vulnerable moment for him, she knew, and the King looked eerily defenseless in that moment. Almost like Arthur at times, and for that she'd allowed herself to soften.

"Morgana's father was a close friend of mine, loyal and trustworthy. He'd gone into battle for me one time, and lost his life. I'd promised him I'd take care of Morgana…but I fear she holds a grudge against me for ordering her father into battle. We clash more than we get along, and for that I am sorry. It is my temper and unwillingness to listen. She is like a daughter to me and to lose her would bring me great pain."

Merlin hesitated before laying a hand on his shoulder in comfort. "She will be fine. Do not worry of that. Gaius will cure her."

Uther nodded and together they walked to Morgana's rooms, seeing Gaius already at work. He looked surprised to see them enter together, but he didn't say anything of it and instead reported on Morgana's well-being.

"She has an inflammation of the brain," Gaius directed to Uther, and Merlin walked away from the King's side and towards Morgana, examining her. She barely heard Gaius exclaim that he had no idea what was the cause and was at a loss on what to do for her. Instead, she gently touched Morgana's face with her fingertips, lifting it slightly and moving it side to side, taking note of what she saw.

"Merlin?" Gaius' voice interrupted her thoughts.

"I apologize," she said distractedly. "Something…feels off."

Merlin narrowed her eyes and focused on Morgana, unintentionally ignoring everything else. She even missed Arthur coming in, though he looked startled to see them all gathered there together, and telling them about Edwin Muirden and his "remedy to cure all ills." She heard it and took note of it, but it was more like background noise. Her attention was solely on the unconscious Morgana.

"Are you certain there is nothing you can do, Gaius?" Uther asked him anxiously.

"I've already given her what I can, but I feel it is too late."

"So quick and sudden…" Uther muttered worriedly. "Arthur, fetch this Edwin Muirden. We must allow him a chance at least, for Morgana's sake."

"Edwin Muirden," Merlin murmured to herself quietly. She frowned.

Something was wrong.

* * *

Edwin Muirden. He walked in calm and collected, charming Uther and seemingly sympathetic, but all of her instincts and her magic were screaming that there was something wrong with him. She waited with the others as Edwin worked on Morgana, but she felt on edge. And everyone knew it too, if the dark look on her face and her tense posture was any indication.

Edwin swept in and bowed to Uther, "I have news, Your Majesty. It is not an inflammation of the brain that has beset the Lady Morgana, but was in fact a cerebral hemorrhage."

"Is there a cure?" Uther asked worried, and she nearly snarled aloud. Something about Edwin upset her, and to see Uther clinging to the hope this man gave was actually distressing her. She hated to admit it, but Uther had grown on her and she would not take well to this man abusing the trust Uther was desperately throwing at him. Never mind the fact he was accusing Gaius indirectly of incompetency. At least Arthur didn't seem to put any faith to the man, and was only hoping for a miracle and Morgana's well-being.

"She's awake. Go on and see for yourself," Edwin smiled humbly at them, but she heard the hidden smugness in his tone.

Her eyes flashed gold in her anger and she didn't move as the others hurried to Morgana's side. Instead, she turned sharply on her heel, eerily reminiscent of father and son's way of exit when upset, and strode away. She hadn't notice a pair of curious eyes who had witnessed the quick change of color of her own.

At her destination, she coolly observed Edwin's rooms, remembering she had been there briefly to help the man grab his equipment and to bring it over to the castle. The alchemy tools were interesting, but not the focus of her attention. However, she continued to look around as she waited for Edwin to return so she could confront him.

Her eyes narrowed as she caught sight of a wooden box. Opening it, she was confused to find dead beetles in it. Closing the box, she noticed a magical enchantment seemed to be carved into the wood and spoke it aloud. Alarmed to hear an odd buzzing after, she opened the box again and was surprised to see the beetles alive.

"Impressive," Edwin spoke, suddenly behind her. She shut the box quickly and whirled around to face him, accidentally knocking a vial of strange powder on its side and spilling its contents.

"Uh sorry," she muttered, wide-eyed. In her surprise at his appearance and the sudden knowledge he was a fellow sorcerer, it was not hard to act the idiot she was supposed to be.

"Don't be. It's quite alright," he said as he invoked an incantation and the powder swirled into the air and then back into the vial that had been put upright. "Easily fixed," he smiled, and it was the first genuine smile she'd seen him give.

"I-I see," she stuttered.

"It is curious to find such a powerful sorceress. You should not be afraid to use your magic."

"I-I'm not a sorceress. Wait, how did you know I was a girl?"

"You don't have to deny it from me. I won't tell a soul. Our kind needs to stick together, right? We must protect each other's secrets. And as for how I could tell you are a _woman_, not a girl dear, I have a strange gift to see auras."

She stayed quiet before turning bright eyes towards him, much more mellow towards him than she had been before, but still wary.

"Gaius says I mustn't use magic," she revealed. _'And Uther is quite adamant I be careful and subtle.'_

"Magic can do the world good if only we were free to use it to _help_, not to _harm_. We can do much together, you and I. I can teach you."

Perhaps she had been too harsh in her initial judgment on him. She had not even given him a chance before she deemed him a threat. Maybe that was why she had felt something was wrong with him – he had been a hiding a secret, a dangerous secret. Much like the ones she kept.

"Seeing auras," she started hesitantly, "can that be taught?"

"It is a skill that one must be born with," he began with a wince. "But I do believe one you have. We just need to unlock it, much like I had."

"When can we start?" Merlin asked eagerly.

He chuckled, "You may come here after my dinner with the King. It is a skill quickly unlocked. I can even teach you a few other things after."

She gave him the first smile with warmth in it.

* * *

She waited in Edwin's rooms for him to come back, and he came back a little disgruntled.

"Are you alright? I can come back tomorrow," she watched him worriedly.

He gave her a strained smile. "No, it is alright. I met…with an unfortunate friend and he reminded me of some very upsetting things. Let's start, shall we?"

She grinned and waited for further instructions.

"Have you ever meditated before?" he asked.

"Somewhat," she answered, sitting down in a crossed-legged position and closing her eyes.

"You must use concentration meditation. You need a closed focus, not an opened focus," Edwin lectured, standing behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders. Starting to massage it, he spoke again. "In meditation, it is encouraged to focus on something. Focus on the feel of my hands, which will also help to move you into a relaxed state."

When it was clear she was relaxed and her breathing had evened out, he started talking again. "Now, for magic-users like ourselves, meditation can be a little different. Once we've reached our nirvana, we can visualize our mental states. Whatever yours is, you must look for a pool of water, whatever form it has taken for you."

His voice echoed into her mind as she saw herself walking towards an ornate fountain in the middle of stone castle ruins that felt ancient and powerful, even magical. It was like an odd out of body experience, and felt so surreal.

"Touch the pool, Merlin."

Her hand reached out and the tips of her fingers brushed against the pool, and an explosion of magic burst out and encased her. It surrounded her in warmth and she felt more powerful than she'd ever felt before.

"Good. That pool is your source of power. Any time you need more power, this is the well you call upon and draw from. I'm assuming you've unconsciously done it before, or at least done it before without realizing the importance of it."

"Yes, I've always reached down inside of me whenever I needed…_more_. But this…"

"I understand. The difference is that you don't just know what you're doing, but _understand_. By teaching you this, it allows you to call upon your magic more easily. You've touched on your core of magic, and for that you don't even need to reach out to it. All you need to know is _more_ and more you'll have."

"What next?" she whispered.

"Next, don't just touch the pool of water. Dive into it. And inside, you need to call out to the magic around you, and think of auras."

She did as he told her to, and then he had her open her eyes. Surprised, she did so quickly, almost blinding herself when she saw the black aura surrounding Edwin, and a muddied red swirl whirled around the black aura. Then it flashed and his entire aura shifted to a clear red.

"What do you see?" Edwin's voice asked huskily.

"Your aura was black and had muddied red swirls, but it changed just now to a clear red."

"…I see. Close your eyes again, Merlin, and focus on pulling back from that area of your magic. Your eyesight will return to normal."

Following his instructions again, she opened her eyes to see Edwin smiling. It looked genuine, but part of it seemed strained.

"What do the colors mean?" she asked curiously.

"Another time. My mind is awake, so I think I shall teach you other things before you must retire. Call on your magic. Is it not easier now that you've physically touched your core?"

Merlin tried, her eyes flashing gold as she lifted up his entire table, his things still there, and levitated it for a few minutes. He was right. It was easier. Before, she usually had to wait as she called for more power, but now all she needed to do was think of needing more and it just came to her easily.

"Very good. Now let's try some advance spells, shall we?"

And for then, she didn't mind having to incant as much as she usually would've.

* * *

When morning came, she was still out cold. She had stayed up all night and morning with Edwin, practicing various magic spells. She'd collapsed on her bed afterwards, and missed her early morning meeting with Uther. Usually she met with him before meeting with Arthur, and sometimes even after.

She was still in bed.

"_Merlin_, don't tell me you're still asleep!"

She shot up in bed, accidentally falling off. Arthur stood in her doorway, glaring at her. Squeaking, she huddled close to her bed and hid, only her eyes and up visible as she stared at him with wide eyes.

"I am so sorry, Arthur. I'll get ready and tend to you in a moment. Please."

Arthur raised an eyebrow at her but left, closing the door behind him. Speedily getting herself ready, she hurriedly ran to Arthur's room and got him ready.

"Why are you in a hurry?" he asked, smirking irritatingly.

"Business," she muttered. "Are we done?"

His eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline, "Yes, but –"

She didn't even wait and ran out the door, leaving him to gape after her. Once near the throne room, she slowed down and nodded to the guards before entering. Her eyes briefly showed her surprise when she saw Edwin already there. Gaius was as well.

"I apologize, Your Highness. I'll wait outside."

"No, it's alright. We are done here, yes?" Uther glanced at Edwin.

"Yes, milord. I truly wish things could be different. Good day, Your Majesty…Gaius."

Edwin left, nodding to her and smiling mysteriously. Gaius also started to leave, stopping next to her.

"What's going on, Gaius?" she asked apprehensively.

"I've been dismissed, Merlin. I am sorry, but I must leave," he gave her a sad smile. "You have been like a daughter to me. Don't forget the great destiny ahead of you," he whispered, only for her to hear.

Her lips parted in surprise, trembling upsettingly. "But…Gaius –!"

He shook his head and left, leaving her alone with Uther. Her head whipped around and she glared at him.

"Gaius has always served you faithfully! Why would you do this to him?"

Uther sighed, "Gaius is getting on with his age, which is proving to allow him to make mistakes."

"It was just one mistake!"

"A mistake that could've proven fatal for Morgana. You know I am not willing to allow any harm to befall my family."

"It is always about your family! Well, Gaius is _my_ family," she glared at him.

"Watch your tongue!" he glared back. "Your duty is to me."

"No, my duty is to _Arthur_."

He stopped short and stared at her in surprise. She glared back defiantly.

"I am still your King," he said quietly, but he didn't challenge her claim.

At that moment, she refused to tell him anything about Edwin being a sorcerer and left without even her usual report.

Deciding to cool off for the rest of the day, she determinedly focused on her tasks for Arthur, who seemed to quietly support her and even helped her out on some of her chores. The gentle smiles he sent her way gave her odd butterflies in her stomach, ones she tried very hard to ignore. She couldn't, however, stop herself from returning some of those smiles.

It was when she had to give her nightly report to Uther that things became heated up again. She was contemplating not going, but she'd thought she'd sufficiently calmed down enough to deal with him. Besides, if she was honest with herself, Uther was being sincere and had very valid points.

But he had made it his family versus hers.

Knocking on his doors, she entered without any further signal, feeling rebellious.

"Uther, are you in here?" she called out grumpily.

She stopped short suddenly in confusion, seeing Edwin and Uther. Uther was on the bed with Edwin hovering over him, a small blue tinted vial on the dresser next to them.

"I was just treating His Majesty with his aches and pains, Merlin. If you have business with him, perhaps it can wait until after the effects of the potion have worn off?"

She walked closer, still confused. "Oh, well it won't take long."

"I see. Have you given any thought to where you would live? I would never just kick you out. It is a shame Gaius had to leave," he said as he started gathering his things.

"Um, about that. Could you possibly work with Gaius?"

"I would love to, my dear. But Gaius is determined to leave. But as I've said, you are welcome to continue living with me," he took a quick look at her, smiling pleasantly, though with a slight chill.

As Edwin was distracted, Merlin quickly glanced behind him to see Uther's wide unblinking eyes roving around quickly until they settled on her. She touched his hand briefly.

'_Uther?'_

'_Help.'_

Clenching her jaw, she moved smoothly away from Uther and turned her attention back to Edwin, who was finishing up and turning around.

"I knew my instincts were right about you," she sneered.

Edwin just continued smiling pleasantly. "Oh?"

"They were all but screaming something about you was wrong. And now you've proven me right! You've done something to paralyze Uther!"

"Uther, is it? I caught that the first time as well. How familiar," Edwin smirked mirthlessly, darkly glancing at Uther as he slowly walked away from them. "And you _know_ she is a sorceress, don't you? _Your Majesty_. How hypocritical of you. I thought you'd learn your lesson, dealing with magic. First, _Nimueh_. Now, _Merlin_."

"Harm him further, and I'll kill you," she hissed out, eyes flashing gold warningly.

"What devotion!" Edwin exclaimed mockingly. "He is not of our kind. He seeks to destroy our brothers and sisters," he spat out angrily.

"My devotion is to Arthur Pendragon," she declared. She looked to Uther, as if addressing the next part to him."…And also to Uther, for as long as he is King," she finished quietly.

Edwin barked out a harsh laugh. "Pitiful. Serving a tyrant who slaughters our kind. You traitor."

He chanted a spell and Uther's sword flew from its spot towards her. Her eyes flashed gold and it stopped before flying towards Edwin instead. He waved his hand and it flew off, embedding itself into a chair.

"Asyndran mid wind," he smirked, violently jerking his hand towards her.

She crossed her arms in front of her in defense, but the cutting winds he conjured cut through her painfully, making long cuts and gashes appear on her body. Her own magic protected her from the full power of the incantation, so that she only received cuts and not severed limbs.

"Scufan eft neadunga," she roared, and Edwin was slammed into the stone wall behind him. He slowly got up as she unwillingly took a breather, badly hurt from the gashes she'd received from his winds.

"I underestimated you," he chuckled darkly. "I didn't think you would be _this_ powerful. I shouldn't have taught you to find your magical core."

She glared at him, "Your mistake."

He threw out his hand but her eyes flashed gold first and she yelled out her incantation first, "Abeornan!"

Edwin caught on fire and he snarled, distracted at he attempted to put the fire out. Taking advantage of his distraction, she ran towards him, using her magic to speed her up and grab Uther's sword from where it was embedded, a feat that would have been impossible at her speed and the fact she took only a moment to pull it out. But her magic empowered her movements and she was glad Arthur had taught her the move she was about to use, tossing the sword through the air and it embedded itself in a new target.

Edwin Muirden.

He coughed out blood and smiled at her, eyes dark. "You've been taught well."

She didn't say anything, knowing she could've said Gaius had taught her well or even Uther. But she acknowledged his part in teaching her, so said nothing.

"He will die within hours. It's too late for the _King_."

"I will save him," she stated firmly.

"We could've been great together. We could've ruled this kingdom as one…bring magic back, as it should be," he coughed out again, and blood dribbled down his mouth.

"My destiny is at Arthur's side," she said softly. "Serving him willingly and watching over him for as long as I can. And to that end, my loyalty extends to Uther."

"Shame," and he closed his eyes and died without another word.

Heaving huge breaths, her eyes darted to Uther and she tried to hurry to his side. Grimacing in pain, she examined the King and knew that one of Edwin's beetles was the cause. Taking one big breath, she looked to Uther.

"Do you trust me?" she looked into his eyes.

He just stared.

"Bloody hell, you can't even tell me anything. What am I expecting?"

She hesitated and remembered before, so she tentatively touched his hand.

'_Yes.'_

She was surprised at his answer, and the fact that had worked in the first place, and held up her hands.

"Then wait to execute me later, after a head start," she spoke, holding her hands on either side of his head and her eyes swirled gold.

After a few moments, she'd drawn the beetle out and Uther had fainted. At that moment, Gaius burst into the room. Her uncle glanced at her and the King, and then at the body of Edwin on the floor.

"I missed everything, didn't I?"

"Yup."

Looking at the beetle in her hand, he grinned. "Has anyone ever told you you're a genius?"

"You certainly haven't."

"Well, you're a genius."

* * *

"_It's all ridiculous. I didn't save Uther. You did."_

_"No, no. For once, I'm happy for someone else to take the credit. You were prepared to sacrifice your life to save me."_

_"Where do you get that from?"  
_  
"_I thought..."_

_"No. I didn't do anything. You saved me and you saved Uther."_

"Thought I'd execute you, really…" Uther muttered.

Merlin shrugged, "I did use magic on you."

"You saved me, brat."

"Magic."

He growled, but she just smirked back.

"I thought you were going to let me die," he echoed words she'd said some time ago.

She huffed, "Thought so too, but then I realized you'd probably haunt me in death. You're less troublesome this way. At least, I can _sometimes_ get peace from you."

Uther rolled his eyes, "Well, you know Muirden seemed…obsessed a bit with you."

"Oh?"

"He was insisting that it was alright you lived in your same room, in his new quarters. And he gave you quite heated looks."

Merln paled, blanching. Then she remembered the aura colors she had read up on while waiting for Uther to get better, where black had meant lingering resentment and unwillingness to forgive and muddied red had been anger (which she knew now had been towards Gaius and Uther). But clear red had meant passionate, powerful, and…sexual.

She blanched again, "I have to go!"

Running out, she sought out Arthur's company and unthinkingly hugged him from behind.

"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise. What's got you all flustered, Merlin?" Arthur smugly smirked, turning halfway and putting an arm around her smoothly.

She stepped back away quickly, haughtily turning her nose up at him. Punching his shoulder lightly, she shrugged.

"I was feeling disturbed. Thought your ego would turn it to annoyance."

He laughed and shocked her by pulling her in closer again, and embracing her.

"That's really why you decided I deserved a hug?"

"It…wasn't a hug," she muttered.

His lips brushed against her forehead. "It wasn't?" he whispered.

"Your presence is soothing," she murmured thoughtlessly, involuntarily closing her eyes.

This had been the sort of thing she had been looking to find when she rushed to find Arthur. The loving (reluctantly she admitted this) and caring feel of him, as opposed to the sickeningly feeling she got when she learned that Edwin had desired her in that way.

She almost expected him to say something like, "Don't forget to muck out my stables" and ruin the moment.

She was surprised when he wrapped his arms around her instead. Reality crashing in on her, she shoved her way out of his hold and awkwardly cleared her throat.

"I-I have duties to do. Well then, I'll be on my way."

"Don't forget to muck out my stables."

She knew it. But then, she'd ruined it first.

Started 6/29/09 –Completed 7/2/09

Preview:

She ran out of the room and to her quarters, finding Gaius still up and gaping at her entrance.

"Merlin, what on earth?"

"Don't ask, Gaius. You don't want to know. It's a long story and it'll give you a headache."

"Is that Ingraine's dress?"

"…Like I said, you don't want to know."


	7. I've Put a Spell on You

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S1.7 ("The Gates of Avalon") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Seven: I've Put a Spell on You_

"She puts me on edge, this girl," Uther growled.

"The one we saved? Aren't you being a little harsh?" Merlin asked amused. "Why'd you invite them to stay in Camelot then?"

"She is the type of girl I cannot trust with my son. I invited them as courtesy, but I'd rather they leave quickly."

Merlin chuckled, taking a big bite out of an apple, chewing very obviously. Uther rolled his eyes at her.

"Where is Arthur anyway? He's supposed to meet with me," he frowned as he gestured for her to hand him a piece. She huffed and obstinately used her magic to make the same apple she was eating fly over to him. He glared at her, but took it anyway, taking a bite himself.

"About that, it's my fault," she started out in a bored tone. "I forgot to tell you Arthur went out on a hunt. My fault, really."

"Don't cover for my son. He's with that girl."

"Yup."

"You don't like her either."

"Nope."

Uther tossed the apple back at her and she took a bite before sending it back with magic. They did this several times until it was finished.

"You know you'll have to go to the stocks."

Merlin groaned, "Do I really?"

"Yes. Part of your façade and all. It would be suspicious if I didn't punish you for your 'idiocy.'"

"…Can it wait?"

"Oh, very well. Another apple then?"

Merlin grinned and manually tossed him an apple.

* * *

"I can't believe him!" Uther ranted to her later. "He disappeared with that girl the whole day, and says nothing but that it's none of my business!"

"You didn't make me look like I told you, did you?" Merlin sighed.

"No, I told him I saw him come back with her. Which I did. And the nerve of her, hanging all over him. The harlot is plotting something."

Merlin didn't bother to stifle her snicker, and his lips twitched up once before straightening into a thin line.

"I'll be back," he muttered, as he passed her and rushed to his wardrobe, ruffling through it and surprisingly coming out with an emerald dress. "Wear this."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it."

She looked at him unsure, and then he realized what her next problem was. "I am not a barbarian."

"Just leave the room for a second."

Instead, he turned his back to her and folded his arms across his chest. She called out she was done and he turned back around, freezing on the spot.

"Well? How do I look?" she asked impatiently.

"Ingraine…" he breathed out instead, staring at her.

Blinking in surprise, she hesitantly approached him. "Uther?"

He snapped out of it, face not blanking over like she'd expected, but slightly vulnerable. "That…was one of Ingraine's dresses. For a moment, you looked exactly like her."

She chewed on her lower lip and didn't say anything to that. "So…why am I wearing it?"

"I want you to seduce Arthur and make him ever regret meeting that girl."

"What?!" she screeched. "Why would you want me to do that?"

"Because I want you to take his mind off that girl! What is the problem anyway? I thought you liked my son."

"What?! What makes you say that? Why do you keep insisting on that?"

"Because it's true!"

"No, it's not!"

"It is! Why do you keep denying it?"

"I'm not denying it because it's _not true_. I don't like Arthur like that," she stubbornly said.

"Just…do it for me then," and with that lingering pain in his eyes, she had trouble saying no. Not that she even tried, looking at him like that.

"Fine," she said resignedly.

"You laced it up wrong," he muttered, turning her around and unlacing the dress. His fingers nimbly re-laced them and she uneasily ignored the wet droplets that fell onto her skin.

"Mead?" she asked softly as he finished up.

He was quiet for a moment before answering her. "Yes…that would be nice."

Turning the water in his goblet into mead, she moved away and started out the room.

"Best not to get you too drunk," and she left to nervously head to Arthur's room. Outside his door, she was already chanting an incantation to make sure things would become hazy (clear enough for him to remember, but hazy enough to be thought of as a dream).

Opening the door, she silently snuck up on Arthur, who was staring at the lit fireplace with a serious look on his face.

"Arthur," she murmured.

His head whipped around and he gaped at her, "Who…?"

Gently dipping down, she kissed him hesitantly before firmly pressing her lips against his. Arthur hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, deepening the kiss.

Pulling back, he gazed at her reverently. "You…look like Merlin. But he's a he…"

"Then you may call me that," she uncharacteristically purred, kissing his neck longingly.

He growled and picked her up suddenly, carrying her over to his bed and laying her down slowly. Attacking her neck with his mouth, he laid hot, open-mouthed kisses there and she moaned loudly.

She winced and tried to gently slow him down. This wasn't going to plan at all. She had only thought to maybe push him a little, not make him completely wanton and making her feel reciprocating in his desire.

When his calloused fingers dragged their touch down her unlaced back, she gasped and arched upwards into his body.

'_When did he unlace the dress?'_ she thought dazedly.

But as soon as he began to start peeling her dress off, her hand automatically snapped up near his head and she panicked, incanting a spell.

"Swebban."

Arthur immediately started to become drowsy, until he collapsed onto her and was asleep. Breathing deeply and feeling the crushing weight of Arthur still on top of her, not to mention feeling him hard against her leg, she struggled to push the Prince off of her and onto the bed.

She ran out of the room and to her quarters, finding Gaius still up and gaping at her entrance.

"Merlin, what on earth?"

"Don't ask, Gaius. You don't want to know. It's a long story and it'll give you a headache."

"Is that Ingraine's dress?"

"…Like I said, you don't want to know."

* * *

After dressing in regular clothes, Gaius had told her about what he'd found in Aulfric and Sophia's rooms, ornate staffs with Ogham runes carved into them. Aulfric had caught him and Gaius had glimpsed his eyes flash red in anger. She conveniently put aside the knowledge that Morgana was a Seer and that Arthur was in mortal danger from Sophia, simply because she knew her mind would overload.

So she wasn't that surprised when Arthur asked her to cover for him again as he went out with Sophia the next morning.

"I don't understand! Did you not seduce him well enough? You're prettier than that girl. I would choose you over her any day of the week," Uther ranted to her again.

"It's not surprising."

"What?" he stopped his pacing to look at her incredulously.

"She's enchanted him somehow. Gaius snooped around their rooms and saw staffs with Ogham runes carved into them. If that was true, then I'm surprised I was even able to break through the enchantment like I did last night."

"It's because Arthur cares for you much more than an enchantment can have hold over him. Once you'd left, the enchantment took hold of him again," Uther muttered to himself.

She didn't even bother to argue that Arthur felt nothing for her, like she usually would.

"Find out more about them and watch over Arthur."

Merlin nodded and turned to leave when Uther's voice stopped her.

"Stocks."

She winced, "_Again_?"

"Again."

Later, she accidentally overheard Sophia saying her magic's worked and that they could use Arthur for their own purposes tomorrow. Then Aulfric was talking about going to the Elders. When she'd followed him, she was awed to find him summon faerie-like creatures that emerged from the lake, and learned that this was the Gates of Avalon (when Gaius told her later) and that Aulfric and Sophia were like those faerie-like creatures, trapped in mortal forms. They were exiled because he'd killed another like them. And while he may never return, Sophia could –as long as they sacrificed a mortal prince to them.

"Arthur," she growled under breath.

Hurrying back, she told Gaius everything, finding out Aulfric and Sophia and those faerie-like creatures were called Sidhe. Afterwards, she'd gone to Uther, who was furious.

"I knew there was something wrong with that whore!" he roared, eyes bright with fury.

Merlin stayed quiet, watching him.

"I ought to burn her alive –I can't, can I?" Uther snarled. "I don't know what I'm dealing with. Can they even die by fire or axe?"

"They are in mortal bodies. They can be killed any way any of us can be killed."

He looked at her with a strange gleam in his eyes, "You do it."

"What?"

"Whatever happens, you go after Arthur and save him," the King stated decisively.

"But I thought…"

"It's your job anyway. You're always off saving him at any rate, I trust you to do so again now."

Merlin gaped at him, but he ignored her and began taking off his gloves and his cape. When it was clear he was undressing, she turned red and hurriedly turned around.

"You could warn me here! Or wait until I leave," she grumbled.

"I'm the King. I wait for no one."

"Stubborn ass. Just like his son," she muttered to herself.

* * *

"I want to marry Sophia."

Merlin narrowed her eyes. Yes, this whole infatuated beyond reason thing was expected, but the idea that Arthur would actually ask for Sophia's hand in marriage actually ticked her off.

"You're kidding, right?" Uther's mouth twisted into a grimace, and he glanced at her. She had a stony look on her face.

"No, I want to marry Sophia, Father," Arthur resolutely declared.

"Absolutely not."

Arthur looked at him in confusion and anger, "Why not?"

"Because this is ridiculous. You've only met her two days ago, and you're acting like a complete fool over her. Throw your silly demands elsewhere; I will not listen to them. Once you are listening to reason, then you may ask something of me."

Arthur's jaw dropped and he stared at his father for a few moments, before clasping Sophia's hand and hurrying out.

"I hate her."

Surprisingly not Uther this time. Merlin was the one who'd spat it out.

"Agreed."

That night, Merlin headed to Arthur's room angrily, and her anger grew as she saw him packing. She forced herself to cool down.

"Get out," Arthur growled curtly.

"I thought the King was a bit harsh." His tone was pissing her off, which leaked into her own tone.

"I don't need sympathy, Merlin, especially not from you."

"But I did think he had a point," she tried to rationalize.

"I ordered you to get out. Now leave me!" Calm, Merlin…Keep calm…

"I know you think you know what you're doing and I know you think you're in love with Sophia..."

"Who are you to tell me what I'm thinking?" Any more smart mouth remarks and she was going to beat him to a pulp.

"I'm your friend." Reluctantly so, at that.

"No, Merlin. You're my servant."

Merlin flinched as if she'd been struck. Okay, now that had stung. Enchantment or not, it was going to be hard letting Arthur get away with that. She wasn't up to making allowances for him and she admitted that had hurt.

"You don't know what you're doing. She's cast a spell on you! You're enchanted!"

Sophia entered with Aulfric, haughtily glaring at her but addressing Arthur. "I told you people would try to keep us apart."

"I know. I won't let that happen," Arthur looked pathetically at her.

"Look, don't listen to her, she's controlling you!" she tried to talk sense into him.

"We can elope together. Get away from this place, these people."

'_Not on my life, bitch.'_

"I saw you. I followed him. They're planning to sacrifice you," Merlin looked to her and then Aulfric, before finally gazing at Arthur.

"You let your servant talk to your guests this way?" Aulfric arrogantly scoffed.

"I know what you're going to do because I followed you to the lake and I heard everything! You have to believe me!" She was starting to get desperate here.

"Don't listen to him, Arthur. Let's go. Let's leave tonight." Pathetic girl. Couldn't even tell Merlin was a woman, like Edwin had.

"She's going to kill you. Sophia plans to sacrifice you to buy a life of immortality. If you go with her, you'll die."

"It doesn't make sense. We're in love," Arthur said, looking confused. But Merlin took heart in that because it meant that Arthur wasn't completely under their spell.

"They're magical beings. Look at the writing on the staff," she pointed out, lunging forward to grab Aulfric's staff. Aulfric's eyes flashed red. "Look at his eyes! Look at him! Do you believe me now? Arthur, do you see?"

Arthur turned around, his eyes are also red.

"I see everything."

"Damn," she cursed, eyes wide.

Aulfic chanted and knocked her back forcibly, and she slammed back against the wall. She was knocked out cold.

Sometime later, she felt herself being gently shaken awake.

"Merlin?"

"Uther?" she groggily asked, blearily blinking herself awake.

"You missed your night report and I got worried. I was told by others that they'd seen you come here. You were knocked out. What happened?"

Groaning, she told him what had happened before she straightened herself out. "I have to go after them."

"Are you well enough?"

"I'll make due. I cannot delay any longer. Arthur is in danger."

Uther nodded, "Bring him back. Go swiftly…and take care of yourself as well."

Rushing out of the castle, she followed the same path she had gone on before when she'd trailed after Aulfric. Arriving just as the ceremony was starting, Arthur already in the water, Merlin found their staffs and took one. Pointing at Aulfric first, she unmercifully chanted a spell that instantly killed him.

Sophia screamed and slowly tried to wade through the water towards where Aulfric had been. Feeling no remorse and definitely no pity for her, Merlin coldly pointed the staff at Sophia next and killed her as well.

Throwing the staff down, she ran into the water and dived in. Swimming towards Arthur's body, she could tell from there that he was unresponsive.

'_He needs air.'_

Reaching him, she plastered her mouth over his and breathed into his mouth. Swimming them both up, she took a deep breath when she emerged from the water, dragging his body with her. Pulling him to shore, she pushed him onto his side and violently hit his back until he finished coughing up all the water he'd swallowed.

His eyes hazily looked up and slightly gaped. "I know you…" he dazedly said before falling unconscious.

Well, unconscious but at least he was breathing.

* * *

"_Arthur?"  
__  
"What happened? Where am I?"  
__  
"Can you remember anything?"  
__  
"Oh, my head. There was a girl. Sophia. She... I asked my father something about her...I asked him...What was I __**thinking**__?"  
__  
"Well, we did wonder. Especially when you eloped with her last night."  
__  
"I did what?"  
__  
"Merlin had to bring you back to Camelot."_"_I don't recall any of this."  
__  
"It must have been some blow."  
__  
"What blow?"  
__  
"Well, when I caught up with you, I couldn't persuade you to return. You were beyond reasoning. So I had to make you."  
__  
"You managed to knock me out?"  
__  
"Yep. With a lump of wood."  
__  
"He only did it to bring you back safely."  
__  
"No one can know about this. Any of it. Is that understood?"_

"And my son bought that, did he?" Uther asked amused.

"Sadly enough."

Uther barked out a laugh, "Of course he would. Joke well played. But you do know what this means?"

"Stocks."

"Off you go then."

Merlin sighed with a slight grin, "The things I do for your son."

Started 7/3/09 –Completed 7/3/09

all that glitters: Thank you. I'm glad my humor gets across. I like writing Merlin and she can be amusing at times. Briefly, other people's POV will be shown of her, but I'm thinking of having other characters have a single chapter to themselves of their POV of the events that happened after I finished the first season.

Preview:

He nodded again and she counted down to one, where he ran towards her. The guards caught sight of him, yelling to each other and chasing after him. The boy was too quick and ended up reaching her side. Grabbing his hand, she ran inside and automatically ran towards Uther's chambers. By the time, she realized what she'd done, she was already there and the guards were coming closer. Ducking inside, she panicked and hid the boy under the bed.

"Stay here," she hissed. He nodded and she straightened up, just as the door opened and instead of the guards she was expecting, the King himself entered.


	8. Hell Hath no Fury

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: For episode S1.8 ("The Beginning of the End") and mentions of future episodes.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Eight: Hell Hath no Fury_

"_For you, I would give you the world. I would do anything for you," Merlin murmured, watching him reverently._

"_They killed my father, Merlin. Grant me vengeance. Make them all pay. Burn them into hell," Arthur whispered brokenly, his crown lying beside him as he grasped her hands and bowed his head over them, blond strands tickling her wrists. _

"_As you wish it, my King."_

_No sooner than he'd requested it of her, did Merlin stand before the group responsible for murdering the former King Uther Pendragon. They were a new nation, thinking to challenge Camelot and making their first move by assassinating King Arthur's father. _

_Her King asked retribution of her. She would grant his plea._

_They laughed and asked what one girl could do to an entire army. With no expression on her face, she stared them down._

"_Officially, I am here to punish you for the assassination of King Uther Pendragon. Unofficially, I'm going to destroy you all for hurting my King."_

_They all laughed again and she tilted her head and continued watching them. _

"_Maybe we can have fun with this one, men! Let's grab her!"_

_Merlin's magic was unmatched by anyone, even in all of Avalon. Her power was unfathomable. With one whispered word…she could bring the world down to its knees._

"_Burn."_

_And every single one of them erupted into flames. The screams of the army echoed into the night, the smell of burning flesh filling the air. The ones that tried to escape ran into an invisible barrier, and they pounded against it until their hands bled and then they too began to burn. _

_Merlin took out her glass sword from its sheath, the tip dragging into the earth as she walked towards the wreckage. One man, the leader and ruler, stood in the middle of it all and watched her with horrified eyes. The fire of the created hell around them glinted against the silver crafting of her delicate-looking sword. _

"_Hail Theoden, false King and ruler of Norwal, the forged and frail nation born of treachery and conceit. I will teach you humility."_

"_I know you," Theoden muttered in fear, recognizing her craft and the infamous sword by her side. "High Sorceress of Camelot Merlin, devoted servant of King Arthur. Your devotion knows no bounds, does it not?"_

_Merlin allowed a small, cruel smile to cross her face momentarily before it showed nothing once more. _

"_The cold ice queen, one all says is the true queen of Camelot, she who truly is devout and loyal. Too bad you can only be the Sorceress."_

_The fearful jab didn't upset her at all, or at least it didn't look it. _

"_I concede. Just don't kill me," he pleaded. _

"_For him, I would do anything. Even damn the rest."_

_And she lifted her sword and pierced his heart. _

Merlin awoke sweating and panting. The dream she had terrified her. It had been too reminiscent of her old prophetic dreams, dreams she hadn't had in a while. And what she had done in it made her question herself.

Would she really kill for Arthur like that?

Taking a look back at her time in Camelot, she was coming to the conclusion she was reaching that point. She hadn't meant to kill Mary Collins, but she had when she'd dropped that chandelier on her. Still, it was an accident and she hadn't meant to do it. Valiant died by Arthur's hands, even if she had a hand in it. But he would've killed Arthur in the battle and she knew the man wouldn't care if he'd just killed the Prince. The Afanc was a monster and killed without remorse, as was the Gryphon. Edwin had been dangerous. But Sophia and Aulfric…they had been the first she'd killed completely without care or remorse. Too closely like herself in her dream.

She'd killed them in cold blood and went on without a care.

She shivered and slowly got ready. Gaius was still asleep and when she looked out, she saw that it was still dark. Too early in the morning. She started on her usual chores for Arthur, too upset to do anything else, before taking a cold bath to try to shake off her nerves. It had worked a while, until she'd snuck into Arthur's room and stared at the Prince. She sat on a chair, watching him until past sunrise and he finally woke.

"Merlin…you're awake _early_. Are you alright?" Arthur blinked sleepily, but alarmed to see her already there.

She looked at him weirdly, not answering. She began to get his clothes ready, not sure if she wanted to talk to him.

"Hey, are you okay?" he stopped her, his hands on her arms as he stood behind her. There was worry in his voice.

"I'm fine," she replied hollowly.

"No, you're not," he murmured, hugging her close. And she allowed him for that quick moment.

"Just promise me something, Arthur."

He nodded, "What is it?"

"If you ask anything of me, be careful on what. I don't think I am able to deny you anything. Or I won't be able to."

He looked at her confusedly, but happily at what she said.

"Go do my laundry?" he smiled goofily at her.

"Okay, Arthur," she smiled softly at him before leaving.

She'd already done everything.

* * *

She'd passed by a shaken Morgana, who looked at her strangely. The King's ward even asked if it was possible for Merlin to meet with her later. It was odd, but Merlin thought nothing of it. That is, until she remembered what Gaius had said about her. A Seer. One with prophetic dreams, just like she'd used to have and seemed to be having again.

Morgana could have seen what she had.

"Something's bothering you."

She glanced over at Uther before returning to staring outside.

"What is it?"

"I had a dream."

Uther gestured for her to go on, never mind that she couldn't see him. But somehow she knew he did anyway.

"I don't think you'll have to worry about me being unable to kill for your son. I think you'll get your wish soon enough."

Uther scoffed. "You've already killed for him. I have no worries."

She blinked and stared at him. With absolute bluntness and insensitivity, he'd managed to completely reassure her and calm her down.

"You're useful," she muttered in disbelief.

"Glad to be of help."

Rolling her eyes, she walked out of the throne room and decided to enjoy the nice day for a little while before she had to go back to Arthur. In the courtyard, she strolled around and then she was shocked to hear a boy's voice in her head.

'_Help.'_

He repeated saying that over and over, and her eyes scanned the courtyard for any boys that looked like they were speaking telepathically. Which actually sounds crazy, even to her.

When she heard it again, her eyes locked onto a little boy hiding but staring straight at her.

'_Can you hear me?'_

Seeing him nod, she spoke again in her mind.

'_Come to this entrance. It's the servant's entrance, and I will lead you into the castle and to somewhere you can hide.'_

He nodded again and she counted down to one, where he ran towards her. The guards caught sight of him, yelling to each other and chasing after him. The boy was too quick and ended up reaching her side. Grabbing his hand, she ran inside and automatically ran towards Uther's chambers. By the time, she realized what she'd done, she was already there and the guards were coming closer. Ducking inside, she panicked and hid the boy under the bed.

"Stay here," she hissed. He nodded and she straightened up, just as the door opened and instead of the guards she was expecting, the King himself entered.

"What are you doing here, Merlin?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

She steeled herself and looked him in the eye. "I needed to talk to you, Uther."

"Well, go on," he sighed as he closed his eyes and rolled his neck, unclasping his cape and draping it over a chair. He plopped himself in it and slouched, looking unlike a King at that moment.

So trusting and vulnerable around her…

"Uther…" she breathed out unsteadily. "After everything that's happened, you know no matter what that I'm on your side. Right? For Arthur, most of all…"

He opened one eye lazily and peeked at her. "Yes. I know that."

Her lower lip quivered and she didn't know what else to say. She had thought to pretend that she was there because she needed to talk to him, which wasn't working all that well considering she sounded like she was ready to backstab him, and now she felt like crap and speechless. Not a good combination if one wanted to keep little magical boys hiding under the bed secret.

He sighed again, "You look like you're about to have a panic attack. Is my son overworking you again? Go, take my bed. He rarely comes in here, much less without knocking."

She hesitated, mind working to find how she could use this to her advantage. "You look tired yourself. Aren't you going to go to sleep?"

"Yes. But the size of the bed is hardly an issue. We can both fit."

She hesitated.

"Is there a problem? You share a bed with my son whenever you must. This should be no different," he lightly smirked, teasing.

And she was starting to feel even more guilty. But she headed to the bed anyway and went to lie on her side, closing her eyes. Hearing him moving and sluggishly lay next to her, she waited until she heard his breathing even out. Cautiously getting up and watching his sleeping figure, she got off the bed and quietly signaled for the boy to follow her.

Taking his hand, they quickly escaped the King's quarters and she ended up bringing him to Morgana's. Slipping inside, she almost jumped when Morgana mischievously greeted her.

"Have you forgotten how to knock, Merlin?" Morgana said good-naturedly, smile faltering when she noticed the boy.

"The guards are after him. I didn't know what to do," _'And for the fact we just escaped from Uther and I'm still frazzled.'_

There was knocking on the door and Morgana gestured for her to hide with the boy in a niche. Morgana answered the door, talking smoothly and successfully getting rid of the guards.

"Well, isn't this exciting?" Gwen cheerfully said, trying to lighten the mood up.

"He is wounded," Merlin frowned, finally noticing the wound on the boy's side. "I need a rag or some form of cloth to press down on the wound, to stop the bleeding."

Morgana quickly grabbed one of her expensive scarves and handed it to her, Merlin hesitantly taking it and putting it over the wound.

"The King is angry," Gwen commented, staring outside and seeing Uther getting ready to execute the older Druid, though unknowing to all but one he'd just been woken from his nap adding to his anger.

Morgana scowled, "When is he not? The man out there about to be…" she glanced anxiously at the boy, "executed was taking care of this little one. But because they have magic, Uther is out of his mind."

Merlin said nothing, grabbing a hold of the boy's hand and staring into his eyes. Clenching her jaw, she closed her eyes and lay her forehead against their clasped hands.

'_I'm sorry, Uther. Please let this boy be worth it…'_

At the moment the man's head was cut off, the boy screamed in horror and the mirror in Morgana's room shattered.

* * *

When the boy was asleep and Gwen was out and about doing her duties, only Morgana and Merlin was left.

"I'm worried the boy lost a lot of blood. And he's said nothing except for that scream, not even his name," Morgana's worry was easily seen.

Merlin licked her lips nervously, smiling comfortingly. "For a moment, I thought you were going to hand us over to the guards earlier."

"Do you have so little faith in me, Merlin?" Morgana asked in dismay.

"It's not that…You are the King's ward, Morgana. You are risking much helping a servant and a Druid boy," Merlin smiled sorrowfully at her.

"He's just an innocent boy. He's harmed no one. And you are more valuable than you give yourself credit, Merlin."

Touched, Merlin smiled widely in happiness at her.

"Uther believes he has magic. In his eyes, that makes the boy guilty," Merlin's smile became smaller.

"He's wrong," Morgana spat out. "Maybe magic isn't something you can choose. Maybe it chooses you."

Looking at her in awe, and in trepidation thinking she might understand the importance of her dreams after all, Merlin reached over and held her hand, startling Morgana. But she gave a smile as well.

"Why are you helping him?" Morgana asked curiously.

"Spur of the moment decision," Merlin winked at her, making her laugh. "He can't stay here. What should we do?"

"Well, I suppose we can find a way to get him back to his people."

Merlin nodded, thinking that was a good idea. Morgana shuffled closer, leaning on her and letting her head rest on Merlin's shoulder. The sorceress froze.

'_Oh no…'_

She'd already been informed of Gwen's crush on her by an amused Uther and a teasing, jealous Arthur, both having to drum it into her head because she didn't want to believe it…but if Morgana was added to the mix…

"I had a dream, Merlin," Morgana whispered. "In it, Arthur had no Queen. But he had a sorceress. She was you, though. And you were so powerful. But you were terrifying too…"

Merlin swallowed nervously, "I'm not a female, Morgana. That dream would be impossible."

Liar.

"Yeah…you're right," and Morgana wrapped her slim arms around her waist and buried her nose into her neck.

The boy was awake and staring at her in amusement, watching as Merlin grimaced at him and struggling to see if she could get out of the situation she was stuck in.

"I have to go, Morgana. I have to see to Gaius," Merlin breathed out unsteadily.

Morgana reluctantly let go and she retreated out the door.

* * *

After dinner, she went to go report to Uther. He'd probably just finished his dinner with Morgana and would be waiting for her in his chambers, so she headed to there instead.

He was quietly sitting in front of the fire, leaning on his knees with his elbows. He was gazing at the fire with a blank look on his face. She winced.

"You once said to me before, 'And what if there will come a time where I may have to?' when I ordered you to never disobey me. And you haven't really before. I gave you allowances, familiarity. You were rebellious, but you never defied me directly in action, not when I told you not to."

She stayed silent, standing miserably where she was.

"You disobeyed me. You know I won't tolerate any other magic-users other than you, and yet you allow this boy to be free and wreck havoc in my kingdom. Tell me, was he in my room earlier? Is that why you were skittish? Had that _boy_ been hiding in my chambers?"

"Yes," she answered quietly.

Uther turned to face her, face still stony. "He is dangerous."

"He's just a boy."

"He's _magical_."

"So am I!" she cried out.

"You're different. You've proven your loyalty and allegiance," he dismissed her claim.

"Then let him prove his," she insisted, growing upset.

"And let him run amok and cause chaos by giving him that chance?" Uther growled.

"You trusted me not to," she glared.

"Your circumstances are different. From the moment I met you, you were determined to be loyal. He hasn't proven it from the start like you have. You came and firmly wanted to serve and live for Arthur."

"You're just being a hypocrite," she sobbed.

He stood up and slowly walked over to her, gently wiping her tears. "But you understand. You've always understood me."

She blinked away tears, "Just because I always understand your reasons, doesn't mean I always approve of them."

"But you understand me still. That is all I can ask, and more than many do. Arthur and Morgana, the two closest people I hold dearest to my heart, will never truly understand me or my reasoning's, and that will always lead to them opposing me in some way. You are quite possibly the closest person I have since my…wife Ingraine," he painfully admitted.

She looked away, eyes watery and resentment on her face, but she'd already conceded.

"I want an oath from you, stating you will not use magic. For a month."

She cringed and looked at him in horror.

"If you want to save this boy, you will do it without magic," he said firmly.

Heaving in stuttering breaths, she began, "I swear on my magic, let it be binding, that I will not use it for an entire month, unless I require its use in protecting or helping Arthur Pendragon. So shall I swear by the roots of Gaia, lest I face the consequences as determined by Uther Pendragon."

Uther's hand landed heavily onto her head, lightly ruffling her hair before he stepped back and gazed at her.

"Morgana is involved somehow, isn't she? That is why at dinner she was as skittish as you were when you were in my rooms."

Merlin tensed, but nodded.

Uther sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he went back to gazing at her.

"You have always been ever loyal, devoted, and honest to me. I will not betray your confidence in me, as you've not betrayed mine."

She nodded curtly before sighing in resignation, touching his arm faintly.

"To me and everyone else, he's just a boy. But you see him as a threat. And you're not willing to chance any danger, because you would not have him take everything that you care for."

He jerked his head towards the fire, staring at it again.

"I understand."

So she didn't question him any more on the matter.

"I will kill the boy if I find him, you know that. Don't let him cross my path."

"I won't. I will not stain my hands with blood for you."

"But you've already had," he answered back quietly, a strange action.

She glared balefully. "Not with this boy's blood."

* * *

When she visited Morgana next, the boy had gained a fever from an infection from his wound. Gaius would be of much help, but it would be too dangerous. Merlin would have to heal the boy herself.

There was knocking on the door and both of them panicked.

"Stay here," Morgana told her, closing the curtains to hide Merlin and the child from view.

Arthur entered and she peeked through the slight opening through the curtains.

"Arthur, what on earth are you doing?"

"I'm searching the entire castle for the Druid boy. Don't take it personally, Morgana. I just have to search _everywhere_ in the castle. It'll only take a few minutes," Arthur lazily glanced around.

"I won't have you in here messing my things up," Morgana hissed out, glaring at him.

He scowled at her, "I don't care for your things. I'm only looking for evidence of the Druid boy."

Merlin spotted the boy's boots and her eyes turned gold, performing a hidden illusion charm on the boots. Turning her attention back to the duo, she watched as they continued to quarrel.

"Maybe the boy is in your room. It's usually so messy, you would never know."

"It's not my fault my lazy servant can't do his job."

"Merlin does his job fine. You're the one who keeps messing up your room so you can be nearer to Merlin for a little while longer than is required of him," Morgana shot back, surprising and dismaying Arthur. And Merlin, while they're at it.

"I don't have to listen to this," he growled, looking away. "I'm just going to get this over with."

"Why don't I save you the trouble? He's behind the curtain," Morgana said in a bored tone.

With aura sight on, she could tell Morgana was trying to mock and tease Arthur.

"I don't have time for this," Arthur spat out, glaring at her before stalking out the door.

Morgana and Merlin both breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'll be back, Morgana. I need things for the infection," Merlin passed her on the way out the door.

"Be quick," Morgana gave her a small smile. She returned it hesitantly.

As Merlin looked through Gaius' books, she found what she needed and put them in a small bag. She was about to close the book when Gaius entered, seeing her.

"Oh, you've finally have interest in my craft, do you?"

She smiled weakly, "Yes, it's all very interesting."

"You must sit! There is plenty to teach. We can start on human anatomy."

Merlin winced and thought quickly, "I'm sorry, Gaius. His Majesty needs to see me right now."

Gaius looked at her strangely before he nodded, "Well, it's hardly a good idea to keep the King waiting. But when you come back we must start immediately!"

When she came back, she began tending to the boy's wound as Morgana fetched water.

'_Thank you, Emrys.'_

"Why do you call me that?" Merlin stilled, staring at the boy.

'_It is your name.'_

'_I'm pretty sure I was born Merlin,'_ she thought back.

'_Among my people, Emrys is what you are known as.'_

'_How do you all know who I am?' _

But the boy didn't reply, and Merlin was left troubled. Night came, and Merlin traveled to under the castle, seeking the Great Dragon. She stared at it, not speaking for a second. The dragon stared back, waiting patiently.

"The Druid boy called me Emrys. He says it is my name amongst his people. How can that be?" she frowned heavily at it.

"You have many names, young sorceress."

"I don't understand how that is possible."

The dragon sighed, smoke billowing from its nostrils. "Many things have been written about you, things you've yet read. You mustn't protect the boy."

Merlin raised an eyebrow, questioning. "And why not?"

"You and he are as different as night and day."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "What does that mean?"

But it just flew away without answering, frustrating her.

* * *

The boy was getting sicker, Merlin's help having done nothing. With no choice, she went to Gaius. Furious though he was at her involving herself, he reluctantly helped anyway. But they knew it was time to try smuggling the Druid boy out.

But they needed a key that only Arthur had. So Merlin watched for an opportunity, letting Arthur eat. Gritting her teeth, she reminded herself that this was for Morgana and the boy. Slowly, crossing over to him, she hooked her arms around his neck and nuzzled his neck, feeling him stiffen up.

"M-Merlin?"

She let one hand discreetly reached down near where his keys were dangling from, and focused on getting the right key to float off without making any noise. Distracting him with her actions, she made sure the key was already hidden in her sleeve before moving away and flitting back to her spot.

"What was that for?" Arthur asked, flustered.

"Morgana dared me to find out what you smell like," Merlin widened her eyes, and faked innocence and naivety.

Arthur gaped before turning back to his food and eating with a suspicious pout. She went back to leaning casually against the wall and watching him.

Unfortunately, the boy and Morgana were caught. She also heard among the servant gossip that Morgana and Uther had a huge fight, where she accused the King of being overcome by his hatred of magic after he'd accused her of conspiring with the Druids against him. No doubt Uther would call on her later that night to rant to her.

Sure enough, she was summoned and she arrived at his chambers to see him angrily pacing. He wasted no time in starting his rant, as soon as she walked through the door.

"The nerve of her! She just doesn't understand. All she thinks about is that I am irrational when it comes to magic, and doesn't look to see why that is so. She doesn't see how I cannot chance anything."

Merlin silently listened, but looked on as Uther grabbed one of his chairs and threw it, the chair clattering to the floor at a distance away.

Uther suddenly deflated, going over to the fallen chair and setting it upright, before sitting in it and cradling his head in his hands.

"Magic is a powerful and dangerous thing. It is to be respected and feared," Merlin started out. "But people are inherently weak and likely to abuse the power in their hands. You cannot trust magic when the people wielding it cannot be trusted."

He chuckled darkly, "Logical, but you know I am more selfish in my reasons. You know why, don't you?"

"Speculations. You've never told me the story and I never pried. I drew my own conclusions, from what I can, though I am unsure at how accurate they are," Merlin shrugged.

The King sighed, "And yet you are still able to understand me…" He took a deep breath, before continuing, "My wife had trouble bearing children. I desperately sought a way through magic. Gaius, on my behalf, sought a witch named Nimueh to help grant my wish. On the day of Arthur's birth, my wife died and I blamed magic for her death."

Merlin looked away uncomfortably before reluctantly turning back to face him. "The Old Religion is selfish and unbiased. For a life, another life must be taken. Like the first rule of the fabled alchemy, humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is the law of Equivalent Exchange. There is always a balance, and it must be preserved and upheld without reservation or consideration. The Old Ways are not empathic. They are indifferent and unsympathetic. For you, it had been personal. For it and Nimueh, it was a restoration of balance and nothing more. She may have felt some remorse as she saw you and Ingraine as friends, but she is a creature of the Old Religion and the balance comes first. While she may not have chosen Ingraine to be the life lost, she justified it as fulfilling the balance."

Uther stared at her, his mouth slightly dropped.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"It is…rare to hear such wise words from you. You are helpful and informative, but I've never needed such…wisdom."

She shrugged again uneasily.

"I…want to learn. I don't want to learn _magic_ or anything. But I need to _know_. I need to understand my wife's death."

She refused to comment, but he knew she would teach him that much.

"Morgana doesn't understand how much that pain from Ingaine's death has affected me, that I cannot take a threat likely. Not that I've ever trusted her or Arthur with the truth. She sees ideals and beliefs, always with hope and sees the brighter side. But she doesn't understand that I am not like her, that I've tried that and I've been left to suffer for it. And I refuse the chance to let it happen again, even if I am unmerciful."

"Protective," she muttered softly. "You're not willing to take chances, even to the point of cruelty. You keep your trust close and do not lightly part with it to just anyone."

"You've dissected me well," he smirked lightly.

"I see your reasons, but I do not agree."

He scowled, but she continued. "Because it's such a lonely existence and pushes all away."

Uther studied her closely, "But not everyone."

She sighed and nodded, yielding. "But not everyone."

And he leaned back satisfied.

"Can I say how reluctant I am to be the only one you consider unwilling to pull away from you?"

"It's your fault for understanding me so well and not faulting me for my reasons, even despite your disagreements."

"_My fault_?" her eye twitched.

He nonchalantly ignored her, pretending to read a scroll he'd picked up from the table.

"The boy will be executed regardless. I am assuming you'll try to break him out?" he asked, eyes seemingly scanning over the parchment.

"Morgana will not allow the boy to die. She will most likely come to me for help, and I will probably agree to her," she answered truthfully.

"Don't get caught. If he is still within my grasp, his execution will go on as planned."

She bowed and left.

* * *

Roping Arthur into helping her and Morgana, Merlin decided she needed to see the dragon for answers.

"Why should the boy not be protected?" she immediately asked.

The Great Dragon lightly growled. "You ignore my counsel. Why continue seeking it?"

"The boy?" Merlin firmly asked.

"If he lives, your destiny will cease to exist."

"He will kill Arthur?" Merlin asked sharply.

"You have your answer, Sorceress."

"Is it certain? The future isn't set in stone, Dragon. There must be another way," she gritted her teeth.

"It is in your hands to prevent a great evil. It is up to you. You must let the boy die."

Merlin left in the usual upset Pendragon way, striding to the dungeons and gazing at the sleeping boy prisoner. She glared at his form and snuck in, using magic to unlock the door, glad no one was there. Guards were lacking in their duties, it seemed…She should report it to Uther later…

She gazed down coldly at the boy, the scalpel she'd swiped from Gaius on the way there slipping into her hand. With a flick of her wrist, it reversed and was held in an attacking position. Holding it in her grip in the air, she used her other hand to reach down and lightly press against his throat. When he'd stirred, she pressed harder and he awoke and stared at her with frightened eyes. The scalpel plunged down.

'_EMRYS!'_

She stopped within an inch before the scalpel was to pierce his heart, eerily like her vision –only with the difference in weapon choice.

Merlin stared into his eyes and he stared back, her eyes cold and his terrified.

"You're going to kill Arthur," she growled.

"No, I'm not," he sobbed out, speaking for once.

The sound of his voice startled her and she looked more closely at what she was doing. She hesitated and stared again at the quivering boy, watching more consciously and with consideration.

"Your name?" she asked breathily, feeling shaken.

"Mordred," he answered with teary eyes.

The scalpel dropped from her hand and she used both hands to grip his front and pull him close, burying her head into his chest as she cried.

"I'm so sorry," she wept.

When it was time to break him out, she was having second thoughts again, wondering if she should let him die.

'_Emrys. Emrys. Where are you, Emrys? Emrys, help us. Please. They're coming. I'm scared, Emrys. They'll kill me. Don't do this. Don't ignore me. I know you can hear me. I thought you were my friend. We are the same. I don't want to die. Emrys. Emrys! EMRYS!'_

Mordred's telepathic voice haunted her and she practically flew out of her bed, rushing to finally give them aid.

It was her choice. The future will come as it will come. She will not let Arthur die. When the time came, she will prevent the dragon's warning from happening. When the time came, then she'll kill the boy. It'll be her responsibility. Until then, her hands will be clean of him.

Yes, she'll let him live. But when it is time, she'll prevent Arthur's death and take responsibility for this.

'_We will see each other again, Emrys.'_

She watched him calmly.

'_I know. Do not make me regret this.'_

For it will be your death, she added silently, knowing he'd heard anyway.

* * *

"Death? Isn't threatening Morgana with that a little too much?" she drawled.

"Perhaps, but she never takes me serious. For once, even if with fear, maybe she'll listen to me," Uther was irritated, she could tell.

"The boy will kill Arthur in the future," she sprung on him suddenly.

Uther looked questioningly at her, though he didn't question how she came about that information. "But you let him live."

"When or if that future arrives, I will not allow it to pass."

He nodded and returned to sharpening his sword.

"That is it? No reprimand in failing my job to prevent a threat?" she asked confused.

He looked back up at her, "From the moment you have stepped into Camelot and into the Pendragon's service, you have been judge and executioner to all those who have posed as threats. I trust your judgment in this. If you say you will take care of it, then you will take care of it. I have no worries."

She gaped comically for a few seconds before shaking her head. Uther just smiled mysteriously.

Started 7/3/09 –Completed 7/5/09

Preview:

"Gaius says he doesn't know him. If that's true, then why did you and he look so frighten at the Black Knight's appearance?" Merlin asked in the silence.

"The crest belongs to Tristan Dubois, a man dead nearly twenty years. I killed him."

"Dead men do not return."

He barked out laughter harshly. "Those are the exact words I spoke to Gaius just now. We are truly alike…"


	9. And Breathe Me

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: For episode S1.9 ("Excalibur") and mentions of future episodes.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Nine: And Breathe Me_

"This is all just formalities," Merlin rolled her eyes.

Gwen giggled. "How does it feel serving the Crown Prince of Camelot?"

"Arthur's been the Crown Prince. They're just making it official because he's 'come of age.'"

"But you're proud of him."

"I did a damn good job with his socks. 'Course I'm proud. It has nothing to do with Arthur," she smirked. "How old is he anyway?"

"He's twenty-two."

"Old geezer."

Gwen giggled again, swatting at her arm. "And how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"He's not that older than you," Gwen laughed. "Just by five years."

"Like I said, geezer."

Their laughter was cut short when a black clad knight burst through the window, shattering it into pieces as he and his black horse slowly rode towards Arthur and Uther. Stopping short of them, the knight cast down his gauntlet. Arthur almost picked it up, but Sir Owain took it up instead. The dark knight's head jerked towards him.

"Single combat, tomorrow at noon. To the death," and he galloped out.

Though Gaius claimed not to recognize him, both the fright on his and Uther's face made her think otherwise. Going to Uther, she hid in the shadows as Gaius grimly exited the throne room. Entering it, she saw the distraught figure of Uther sagging in his chair.

"Gaius says he doesn't know him. If that's true, then why did you and he look so frighten at the Black Knight's appearance?" Merlin asked in the silence.

"The crest belongs to Tristan Dubois, a man dead nearly twenty years. I killed him."

"Dead men do not return."

He barked out laughter harshly. "Those are the exact words I spoke to Gaius just now. We are truly alike…"

"Uther…?"

"He was Ingraine's brother. Tristan blamed me for her death and challenged me to a single combat duel to the death. He…cursed me and Camelot, stating he would return from the dead and fulfill his vengeance. I did not think it so literally, for I've already been haunted by the ghost of his memory."

"Nimueh would be powerful enough for necromancy."

"Does it look like I know your magical terms?" he asked sarcastically.

"The art of reanimating the dead. Gaius and I will look further into this and find out what we can."

"Should I tell Arthur….about the circumstances of his birth? Gaius believes I should," Uther uncertainly asked.

She hesitated. "…No, I don't think you should," she answered slowly."Arthur will be devastated and become more emotional, thus clouding his thinking. He will make rash decisions. He is not yet ready to know the truth, nor is this the right time."

Merlin sighed frustrated, going on. "Uther, Arthur will not look favorably upon you if you just tell him now. He will either see a hypocrite, a vengeful man, or even both. I hate to say this, but if you want to…manipulate Arthur into seeing you in a better light, then you should wait to tell him until you can look vulnerable. He will see a loving father, not a vengeful, bitter and angry King."

"I understand," Uther muttered, staring at her. He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "Nimueh will not stop, and I fear she will come after me. I…must ask a favor of you."

She waved her hand casually, "Go on then. Ask away."

"Merlin…I know you have your duties to Arthur, but would you tail me for awhile? I will have someone else take on your duties for the time being, but…"

She smirked, "I thought my job was to shadow Arthur, not you." Her smirk fell when she saw just how worried he was. "Of course I will. I don't know how I will match up against Nimueh, but I'll do my best to protect you. Still, she is older and more experienced."

"But you are more powerful," he determinedly stated.

Merlin blinked in surprise, "Glad to know you have such faith in me."

"I do have faith in you. You have not failed me yet," he looked at her seriously.

A smile tugged at her lips.

* * *

She cringed and looked away as Sir Owain was killed. Uther held back Arthur as the Black Knight rasped out his challenge, and Sir Pellinore accepted it.

She had been sure Owain had struck a mortal blow, but the Black Knight had kept going. It only proved her right. Tristan Dubois had returned from the dead and was seeking his revenge.

"Why did you hold me back?!" she heard Arthur yell at his father from where she was hidden behind a pillar in shadows. She leaned back, feeling herself slump against the cold stone as she thumped her head lightly against it. Dragging one leg up, she folded it in and rested her foot against the pillar.

"You should allow the Knights of Camelot to a chance to prove themselves," Uther lied. "You are not to blame for any of this, Arthur."

Arthur stormed off and Merlin slid into view. "Ah, children. Rebellious cretins, aren't they?" she teased.

That drew a small smile from him.

"Yes, you all give me quite the headaches," he said. She gaped and he froze. He'd…included her in that statement, as if he'd considered her a daughter.

She coughed embarrassedly before speaking news, "I saw the Black Knight be hit with a mortal blow. He lives still. He should be dead, and Gaius suggests he already is. Tonight, Gaius and I will go to Tristan Dubois' crypt."

"You will report to me afterwards?"

She nodded, "Yes. I'll be by to report our findings."

"Good. I'll be seeing you," he nervously said.

She sighed and reached out to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. "I will be back soon."

This was going to be probably the first time she had left his side, after trailing him as his shadow since the appearance of Tristan's physical ghost. It made him nervous, she could see.

He nodded slowly and she left to find Gaius. Best to get it over with so she could hurry up and do her current job.

Finding the broken sarcophagus did wonders for her stomach, as did the research she and Gaius did in finding out what it was. A wraith.

"As a wraith, it cannot be killed with any mortal weapon. It will not stop until it receives its revenge," Merlin said, disquieting Uther with the information.

"Using magic to harness Tristan's grief and rage against me…she will stop at nothing, will she?" Uther growled.

Merlin pursed her lips and lightly slapped his shoulder, "Do not start tormenting yourself over this. Pull yourself together. You mustn't let Nimueh distress you like this. You need to be calm and calculating if you want to fight against her."

"I know. I'm sorry," Uther apologized in slight embarrassment.

"Good. Now I'm going to go back and catch some sleep."

Uther panicked, "Don't go."

"Nimueh isn't going to kill you in your sleep. If she was going to, then she had plenty of times before this to do so," Merlin bit out, irritated.

"Just don't go."

She sighed in aggravation and let him get ready for bed, sitting herself on a chair and plopping her feet up on the table. Uther went to sleep and she resigned herself to staying awake and keeping watch.

When morning came, she dragged her feet to follow after Uther stealthily to the stadium, tired from no rest. Uther glanced back once in worry, but continued to stride confidently when Arthur joined him and she had to slip more into the shadows. Sliding into position beside Gaius, she waited for the match to begin.

As regretfully expected Pellinore didn't stand a chance and was killed by Tristan. The Black Knight went again to throw down his challenge and Uther tried to stop his son. Only, Arthur didn't get up to get ready to pick up Tristan's gauntlet. He got up to throw his own down and challenge the wraith.

Both Uther and Merlin grimaced and narrowed their eyes. After Tristan's wraith accepted, Uther confronted Arthur in the throne room, with Merlin listening in from her usual spot.

"I revoke the challenge."

"You can't. It's against the rules and I have to do this if I am to prove I am worthy of the throne."

"You do not."

"I _do_."

"You will surely die," Uther insisted, slightly on the edge of desperation. Though, probably only Merlin would notice something like that.

"What little faith you have in me, Father," Arthur bitterly said before walking out on him.

"Ugh," Uther growled in aggravation.

"He will come around," Merlin said, but she didn't move from her spot. Still, he took comfort in that she was there.

When Gaius entered that night, she slipped out of the room and wondered if she could use magic to destroy the wraith. Well, that idea went out the window when she cast fire at it and the fire didn't do anything. The bloody bastard just stood there. And when the fire went out, his head snapped towards her and freaked her out, making her run away.

Going to Arthur, she anxiously told him not to fight.

"Not you too, Merlin," Arthur glared at her.

"You will die against him, Arthur," she pleaded.

"What is it with all of you? Do none of you have faith in me?"

"It is not faith we lack…it is hope," she softly said cryptically.

Arthur stared at her, taken aback. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"That _thing_ out there is no man. It doesn't eat, sleep, nor rest. You are flesh and blood. That thing out there is not human."

"What am I to do?" he asked in frustration. "I cannot run away and be a coward."

"You are not a coward," she said fiercely, surprising him again. "I will not lose my King to death." Echoing the her of the supposed future, already referring to Arthur as her King.

"Your…King?" Arthur asked in shock.

"You will not die tomorrow, Arthur Pendragon. I will not let you die," Merlin looked him in the eye, before leaving in the usual heated Pendragon way, a way familiar to Arthur when he saw it.

She left because she knew it would be fruitless to keep trying to convince Arthur. But she was determined to find some way to at least help him.

Merlin slipped back into the throne room, watching as Gaius left with a stony expression.

"You were gone," Uther immediately noted.

"You're that in tune with my presence?" she lightly joked.

"Yes."

She only blinked in surprise, but a small smile formed on her face anyway.

"What was Gaius doing here?"

Uther snorted, "Telling me what you've already told me. And trying to convince me to tell Arthur the truth. I remembered your words and told him no. Where did you go?"

"I tried to destroy the wraith with magic. Didn't and got a heart attack for it. Then I went to Arthur to try to convince him not to fight. That didn't work either. He refused."

Both of them rolled their eyes at their stubborn friends and grinned at each other in shared exasperation.

"Are you going to skulk here in the dark for awhile, like a vampire?" Merlin smirked.

"A what now?" Uther furrowed his eyebrows.

"…A creature of the night that feeds off the blood of human beings."

"…What strange animals that are part of your world…"

She laughed, "Don't call them that to their face. They'll kill you faster than anything else, I'm sure. Now, like I said, are you going to stay here in the dark?"

Uther looked hesitant, "Something is telling me to stay here."

"Then I will stay here as well."

She moved to her usual spot, further hiding in the shadows as she, too, felt like something was going to happen that night.

And happen it did.

Nimueh appeared, startling Uther and putting her on edge. But Merlin didn't reveal herself just yet.

"How does it feel, Uther, having that which you cherish the most in peril? Your son will surely die and it will be your fault. This is my revenge, Uther Pendragon. For banishing me and murdering so many of my kind," the beautiful sorceress glided closer, smirking cruelly.

Merlin tensed, jaw clenching.

"You killed Ingraine," Uther hissed angrily, glaring heatedly at her with a fury Merlin had never quite witnessed from him before.

"I had no choice," Nimueh coldly returned. "I did as you asked. But for a life, a life must be taken. I was your friend, Uther. But she had to die to preserve the balance. If I had known the depths of your vengeance, I would never have helped you."

"I wish you hadn't," Uther emotionally admitted, chest heaving with the heavy breaths he was taking from rage.

"You wish you hadn't a son?" Nimueh asked in slight shock. Then she laughed lightly in cruel amusement, "Then you will get your wish soon enough. Arthur will die tomorrow. So many I've loved have died at your hands, Pendragon. Now you will know the same pain."

Uther looked away and sat heavily on his throne, but when he glanced back up Nimueh was gone. He heard the almost silent footsteps of Merlin move towards him from her hiding pace, and he turned to her for comfort. Instead, he saw a cold sorceress, glaring at him with icy eyes that condemned him on the spot, much like the condemning looks he'd sent her in the beginning.

"I thought you cherished Arthur, that you would do anything for him?" her voice had a frosty quality to it that made him flinch. He averted his eyes. "You regret your decision so much that you would regret Arthur's existence?!" her voice rose dramatically.

He didn't answer, knowing that Merlin would go on regardless.

But he heard the underlining meaning, even without her having to say it next.

"Without Arthur, I have no destiny. Without him, I have no existence. I am _nothing_ with Arthur. There would be no meaning to my life without his existence in it. If you regret your own son, then you regret _me_. Does no one but Ingraine hold a place in your heart?"

"I will not let you speak to me like that," he half-heartedly ordered.

She pursed her lips and then turned sharply on her heel to leave, and he realized how many Pendragon traits the sorceress had picked up and habitually started using as her own.

"Please…don't go," he muttered. "I have lost so much…Ingraine…I know I am losing Arthur, and I'm not sure I ever truly had Morgana. I don't want to lose you as well."

He looked down and curled in on himself.

And then he felt a slim hand rest itself on his head and he slowly looked up. Merlin stood there, still with a cold look on her face, but her eyes were reluctantly soft.

"I understand," she murmured grudgingly.

He stayed silent.

"I hate that I do and I hate your reason, but I know your reason still. Ingraine was the love of your life and losing her cut deep. It's not really Arthur you regret, it's that you had to lose Ingraine in the process. You'll never really regret Arthur, it's regretting making a decision that cost you her. _Try_ to make due with the rest of us, alright? We're here and we still care."

"I'm sorry," he whispered unevenly.

Her hand left his head, and he sharply glanced up to see her turning and walking away.

"Where are you going?"

Merlin half-turned to face him, a blank look on her face. "I am still angry at you, and regardless that you didn't mean not regretting Arthur, it was still said. Even if it was in the heat of the moment. Think back and reflect, will you? I must go and find a way to kill that wraith."

He said nothing and she left him.

After finding out about fabled swords, Merlin was off to make her own. Getting the best sword from Gwen's father, she hurried to meet the Great Dragon, hoping to finish before tomorrow came.

"Why should I?" the dragon barely looked at her, huffing. "You should just let Uther die. Let the wraith take his revenge."

Merlin gritted her teeth, "_Because_ Arthur will be fighting tomorrow and he will die. Then I have no destiny to speak of."

"Oh, very well. But only Arthur may wield it. You don't understand the great power the sword will be granted from me."

"I'm sure," she muttered.

"I am very serious, Sorceress. The sword will be extremely powerful and so must _only_ be used by Arthur. In the wrong hands, it will be used for terrible evil. You must promise me no other than Arthur will use it."

"I promise."

He blessed it and Merlin triumphantly received it, rewrapping it in a scarlet cloth.

"Heed my words. The sword was forged for Arthur and him alone."

* * *

The golden crafted sword beautifully rested in her hands, and she admired it in the slim show of daylight through the window. Holding it up, the light glinted against the gold carvings.

"That's a fine blade," Uther's voiced held a tinge of sorrow.

Glancing at him coolly, she gently placed the sword back on the cloth, not yet wrapping it.

"It's for Arthur," she stated without inflection in her voice.

He winced. Gazing at the sword in wonder, he asked, "Something to fight against the wraith?"

"Yes."

The short answers were purposeful and they both knew it.

"He won't be needing it today."

"Why not?" she asked in surprise, not being able to help it.

"I will be taking Arthur's place," Uther revealed solemnly.

She stood up abruptly, coming over to his side. "You mustn't."

"Of course I must. He is my son. I will not sacrifice him. May I use the sword?"

"It was forged _for_ Arthur. It cannot be used by anyone else," she grimaced.

He nodded understandingly, "I see. Fit me for battle."

"I don't have your armor, Uther," Merlin said, face completely crumpling and showing her worry.

"That'll do. It will likely to make little difference."

She hit his shoulder, "Quiet you. Don't say such morbid things."

"There is no hope to get rid of Tristan other than my death. And so I must. His grievance is with me. The fight is mine."

Frustrated, Merlin began fixing armor on him harshly. Her hands fumbling with the clasps, she stopped and took a breather, leaning her forehead against his chest plate.

"Use the sword."

She could feel him stiffen.

"Did you not say it was made for Arthur? Will there not be consequences if I used it?"

"You won't defeat the wraith without it. Arthur is not ready to be King…and I won't let you die," she muttered painfully. "I will take responsibility for breaking my promise."

"You've always had such extraordinary loyalty," he said fondly.

"It's my duty," she laughed weakly.

"Beyond the line of duty. And for that, I am grateful. Take care of him, will you?"

"You won't die, Uther. This sword and I will not let that happen. You will not abandon Arthur in death. _You will not fail me_," she insisted, echoing his own sentiments of her to him.

"I will wield it with honor and do my best to defeat Tristan," he promised.

"Laestan Uther Pendragon aet geweald galdorcraeft," she sung, placing her hands on either side of his head and leaning up to pull him closer, resting her forehead against his. He glowed gold and then she stepped back, watching him upsettingly.

He looked at her in astonishment, "What did you do?"

"I didn't curse you or anything," she glared half-heartedly.

"I know that…but what was that?"

"I blessed you with protection with magic," she admitted.

"I will go in confidence and hope. I will not fail Arthur…or you."

She handed him the blade carefully and he experimentally swung it.

"It has almost perfect balance," he commented, staring at it.

"Take care of it," she muttered.

"I will. Don't…worry."

"I'm trying," she sighed.

"Will you not come watch me fight?" he asked apprehensively.

"In a moment," she glanced at him. "I don't know how calm I am."

"It will grant me much courage if you were to walk me out."

And she couldn't refuse that.

They walked out together until she had to go in hiding, and he continued to walk by himself, surprising the crowd with his appearance. She saw Gaius and slipped in next to him, drawing a curious glance from him before he returned to watching the King worriedly.

"You can have what you came for. The father, not the son," Uther stared down the wraith, and her gut clenched horribly.

And soon the fight began. She remembered shooting forward, gripping the wooden barrier in front of her so forcefully that it almost splintered, her knuckles turning white. She watched in fear and anxiety, and wondered where Arthur was and how the hell did Uther managed to coerce him into letting the King take his place.

Right now, she felt like she needed Arthur's soothing presence to calm her down.

Uther managed to knock off Tristan's helm, revealing the head of a decayed and decrepit corpse. It roared horrifically, startling the crowd and shocking Uther, and it charged towards Uther with a terrible force. Before they had been well-matched, but now the wraith of Tristan surged forward with rage and more power, almost overpowering him.

Uther was knocked to the ground, his sword clattering to the ground beside him, and the wraith swung his sword over and over at him, slamming against the King's shield. One particular blow was so powerful it had pushed the shield up to Uther's chest, only an almost invisible golden glow had emanated from Uther and pushed it away. Merlin was sure only she and Uther had seen that.

The wraith's sword caught on Uther's shield, and he took it off, letting the wraith struggle to remove his sword from the shield. Quickly rolling and grabbing his sword, Uther got up and pierced the wraith. He ran it through the creature and it screamed, bursting in an explosion of light and fire, black cloth pieces scattering around them.

Uther stood up unsteadily, yanking his helm off and the crowd burst into applause for him. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief and sagged with exhausted joy.

* * *

Uther groaned, "I thought you said a wraith couldn't be killed."

Merlin silently snorted, knowing Uther knew there had been a slim chance as long as he had that sword.

"Yes, it was remarkable. Is that a new sword, Sire?" she flinched at Gaius' question.

"It's the best I've ever fought with." She proudly smirked at that.

"May I have a look?"

"I was intrigued by those markings." So was she, while they're at it.

Gaius examined the sword curiously. "On one side, it says 'take me up'. On the other, 'cast me away'."

"What does that mean?" She wanted to know that too.

"May I ask who made it, Sire?" She pouted by the obvious dodge from Gaius, but continued listening.

"Merlin gave it to me. It was forged for Arthur."

Arthur burst through the door, and Gaius made a quick exit.

"Well, that should heal pretty quickly. I'll be back to redress it tomorrow."

"Thank you, Gaius. Thank you for everything."

"You had Gaius drug me! I was meant to fight him!" Arthur yelled once Gaius had made his escape.

"No, you weren't," Uther firmly stated.

"But the knight's code..."

Uther interrupted, "Be damned. I believed you would die, and that was a risk I could not take. You are too precious to me. You mean more to me than anything I know. More than this entire kingdom and certainly more than my own life."

Arthur looked shocked, "I always thought that..."

"What?" Uther asked upset, having somewhat of an idea of what his son was implying.

"Well, that, I was a big disappointment to you," Arthur answered in a daze.

"Well, that is my fault and not yours. You are my only son. And I wouldn't wish for another," the King told him sorrowfully.

Arthur was quiet, looking bewildered but happy.

"I heard you fought pretty well," he looked at his father, slightly smirking and gathering his wits.

Uther's lips turned up slightly, "Thanks."

"You should join us for training. Sort out your footwork," Arthur teased, even with his face looking serious.

Uther laughed lightly amusement. "I'll show you footwork."

He got up quickly and chased Arthur, aiming a kick at his son's bottom as Arthur ran away with a small grin.

Uther was still grinning slightly, before an edge of weariness started to show.

Merlin stepped out from her hiding place, watching with him with wide, watery eyes and a trembling lower lip.

"What's wrong?" Uther's eyes widened with confusion.

"That…was so _sweet_," and she burst into tears. He awkwardly patted her back in comfort.

"It's okay. It was just…me trying to tell Arthur some truth," he muttered.

"But –father and son moment! It was so cute," she sniffled.

He coughed embarrassedly.

Calming down, she held out her hand for the sword. He delicately placed it in her hand, and she wrapped it up in the scarlet cloth.

"I have a feeling he won't be very happy I let you use it," Merlin sighed. "He was very specific on that Arthur was the only one to ever wield this sword, and in the wrong hands it would cause great evil. I _really _think he included you in that."

"The dragon then? He's the one who furnished the sword and the one you go to for advice?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"There's no one else like you that can offer you the valuable advice and information that you seem to be able to come up with. I'm assuming he's waiting for me to croak already, and my son to become King."

"It does feel like that at times," she admitted with a wince. "I think he'll ask me to get rid of it. He'll be terribly angry."

"You will get rid of the sword then?"

"Yes, after I meet him tonight. No doubt he'll call then."

Uther nodded, "Wait with me until then?"

They sat together quietly that night, and then the Great Dragon called. Merlin winced, sending a look towards Uther before standing up and leaving. He hesitated, thinking to join her, but instead stayed and thought on something else.

That night was the same night that Merlin realized the true depth of the dragon's power, and witnessed the terrifying sight of the full force of its wrath. She left quickly to dispatch of the sword in a place no one would ever be able to find it or use its power, into the depths of a lake.

And as she finished casting the sword into the lake, Uther trudged down to the bowels of the castle, gently holding a cerulean cloth-covered object.

The dragon roared when it saw him, breathing fire heavily towards him, but Uther stared stoically back at it, undisturbed.

"Uther Pendragon," it growled as it settled down.

"Dragon," Uther's monotone was back in full force.

"What can I do for you?" the dragon asked sarcastically.

"You furnished the sword that was for Arthur. I need you to bless this sword as well," and Uther pulled the cerulean cloth away, revealing a sword made completely of glass. It was an ornate gift, made just for decoration from Nimueh to Ingraine. It wasn't magical, except for the protective enchantments etched into the handle.

"It is perfect for defense for its protective enchantments, but if you bless it it will also be just as useful in attacking."

The Great Dragon laughed raucously, "And why should I do this for you? Why should I gift you with such power?"

Uther sneered, "It is not for me, you fool. It is for Merlin."

The dragon eyed him quietly. "So the sorceress has made an ally out of you. How interesting."

"I will die soon enough and Arthur will be King. But I am in no hurry for death. I won't die just yet," Uther said coldly.

"We will see about that," the dragon smiled widely, showing rows of sharp teeth.

It magically floated the sword to him and breathed fire on it, and soon enough it was like looking at an almost twin of Arthur's sword. It had silver crafting that mirrored the golden craft on Arthur's sword, embedded into the glass. The glass handle had a silver cord crisscrossing around it, like the gold cord of Arthur's. But this one also had an added tassel that Nimueh had weaved to tie around the base of the handle, serving as an added protective charm.

Uther took it and rewrapped it, leaving without another word. The dragon's eyes bored into his back intensely.

Started 7/6/09 –Completed 7/7/09

random reviewer: Lol, I love that. Your name is awesome. I wanted to go the unique route with Merlin and Uther, so I'm glad so many people like it. When is Arthur going to find out? Well, that'll be telling, won't it? Gaius knows because they're family and Hunith would tell him, Uther is just very observant here, and Lancelot found out by chance. A really silly chance. Morgana is kind of in denial. Uther and Merlin are awesome and worrisome. They're awesome with the way they're pulling strings around everyone and how funny and close they act with each other, but it is worrisome considering underneath all that joking and familiar surface is a really dark relationship. They act light sometimes, but deep down their characters are dark. Uther originally, but with Merlin becoming even more like him, they sort of feed off of each other's character, fueling their actions and the way they manipulate, plan, and calculate everything around them.

all that glitters: Really shorter? I thought it was my longest, with the other chapters ranging around 2000 to 4000. Chapter 8 was like over 5000…Thanks, though I'm sorry there wasn't a lot of human interaction. It was there, but I did focus more on Merlin's character and inner thoughts.

Preview:

"I know my son will be going after you, and no doubt Morgana and her servant are making plans as we speak to follow you to Ealdor."

Merlin rolled her eyes, "Arthur will not. He has to stay here. And Morgana and Gwen are stubborn, but I'm sure I can somehow trick them into staying."

Uther chortled loudly, shocking her and irritating her at the same time.

"What?" she growled.

"You naïve, clueless girl. When Morgana has her mind set on something, nothing will change it. And Arthur is worse, especially when it comes to you. Besides, Arthur is like me. He is possessive of what he considers his. If you truly think they will be left behind, then you are mistaken. They _will_ follow you."


	10. Truth Serum

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S1.10 ("The Moment of Truth") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…  
A/n: For some reason, this chapter was hard to write. Well, not hard to write, but hard to finish. It is also officially my longest chapter…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Ten: Truth Serum_

Merlin woke up again, sweating and panicked. She had another dream. This time, she had ridden alongside Arthur, riding a black horse similar to the Black Knight's. She had cut through the army they were facing mercilessly with her glass sword.

Blood had stained it heavily.

Nervously getting up, she quickly got herself ready, surprised to see Gaius already up.

"You're up early, Gaius," she gave him a small smile.

"I have things that need to be prepared for a client. While I am waiting for the herbs to finish boiling, do you want to continue practicing your aura sight?" Gaius asked.

She nodded, hoping that the practice would get her mind off the dream.

"Okay. Anger."

Gaius did his best to become angry and she observed the muddied red aura surrounding her uncle.

"Jealousy."

And the muddied red aura turned a dark forest green. She did a couple more aura readings before deciding that was enough.

"Ah, I think it's time for me to meet Arthur," Merlin commented, giving a mock salute before leaving. That wasn't quite true. She still had around an hour left before having to wake up and get Arthur ready. But it was time to meet Uther.

"Morning," Merlin greeted distractedly.

"What's wrong this time?"

She blinked and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"You're distracted. Why?"

"I had another dream," she muttered.

"Tell me about it," he ordered.

She hesitated, "Remember when I told you I first had a dream?"

He nodded so she told him what that dream had been about before talking about her most recent dream.

"I see. Not that I'm happy about being assassinated, I'll be looking forward to that future. Arthur will shape our kingdom, and you will be at his side."

His implications were not missed on her, but she ignored it as per usual. He was right on a platonic level at least. With her at his side, Arthur would rule Camelot and his kingdom and bring it towards greatness. She would happily be by Arthur's side, doing as he asked of her and serving him until the end.

"Arthur will be missing you by now," Uther hurried her along.

She huffed, but left with a backwards wave. After dealing with Arthur, she went outside to roam around and caught sight of a very familiar figure.

"Mother?"

"Merlin!" her mother rushed towards her and hugged her tightly. "How is my daughter doing?"

Merlin smiled widely and led her mother to Gaius', talking about everything that's happened, while leaving some things out. She noticed the huge bruising on her mother's face and Hunith reluctantly told her about it.

They reached Gaius', where Hunith repeated what she'd told Merlin, and Merlin wondered if she should go to Uther or Arthur. If she went straight to Uther, it would be suspicious. But Arthur was her friend and could just as easily get an audience with the King for her, especially if Uther knew it was for her. Not suspicious at all…

When Arthur succeeded, in joy she excitedly grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. Realizing what she'd done, she harshly pushed Arthur away, leaving him bewildered. She rushed away to grab her mother and tell her of the news. Hunith and Gaius followed after her, and soon Hunith was talking to the King.

But by the look on Uther's face and the quick apologetic glance only she caught directed at her, Merlin could already feel her hope sinking. And she understood even before Uther started talking.

"This is very unfortunate, and I truly wish to help. But to send soldiers there would be seen as an act of war. I am sorry."

And that was the end of it. Hunith had to go back, and Merlin had already decided she would be going with her.

"I truly am sorry," Uther muttered before Merlin even had a chance to say anything.

Only looking weary and resigned, and only the slightest resentful, Merlin nodded.

"I understand and would not have you risk war."

"I figured you would," Uther gave a wry smile. "I was hoping you would fight me more on it, so that I would feel less guilty and forget my guilt by being angry at your insolence. But you keep understanding and learning to just accept it."

"I know, but that's just how it is," she returned the wry smile.

"I know my son will be going after you, and no doubt Morgana and her servant are making plans as we speak to follow you to Ealdor."

Merlin rolled her eyes, "Arthur will not. He has to stay here. And Morgana and Gwen are stubborn, but I'm sure I can somehow trick them into staying."

Uther chortled loudly, shocking her and irritating her at the same time.

"What?" she growled.

"You naïve, clueless girl. When Morgana has her mind set on something, nothing will change it. And Arthur is worse, especially when it comes to you. Besides, Arthur is like me. He is possessive of what he considers his. If you truly think they will be left behind, then you are mistaken. They _will_ follow you."

She glared and sniffed in displeasure.

Uther chuckled, but it dwindled down until he was solemn. "Follow me."

Anxious at the sudden change in his mood, she followed him until they reached his chambers. Inside, he immediately headed to his wardrobe.

"You're not going to fit me into another dress, are you?" she muttered, averting her eyes to the ground and wondering what was he up to.

But instead of the rustling of cloth, she heard slight clanking and she slowly looked up until she saw Uther coming towards her, holding onto chain mail.

"This was the chain mail I wore in my youth. It should fit you."

She gaped soundly, before shaking her head vigorously. "I can't!"

He raised an eyebrow. "And why not?"

"Because! I-I just can't!"

Ignoring her, he shoved the chain mail at her and then pulled out the black surcoat underneath it, unraveling it and holding it spread evenly for her to see. The Pendragon symbol was etched onto the front in silver.

"When I was still a Prince, Ingraine had this made for me. It was one of the first gifts she'd ever given me, and I've never used it. That was a shame. I would like you to use it."

"Now I definitely can't use that," she protested.

Both eyebrows were raised this time. "Would you prefer my red surcoat then? It would be rather large on you, considering my size…and I prefer black on you than the shade of red the Pendragon clan uses…"

"It's not the color…It's _your things_. Especially the surcoat. That was a gift from your wife. It must be very special to you."

Uther sighed. "It is special to me. But I always had the sense that Ingraine was disappointed that I never used it, which I would have but I treasured it too much and wanted to keep it intact. But I'm sure she would be happy to see it used and worn by someone I trusted."

She reluctantly accepted it. "Why did she make it black?"

He immediately took the chain mail and surcoat from her, placing the surcoat over his shoulder as he tossed the chain mail over her head and adjusted it on her.

"The Dubois family colors were black and silver, as you saw with the wraith of Ingraine's brother Tristan, just as the Pendragon family colors are scarlet and gold. She had the surcoat made in her family's colors to signify our union. It was her engagement gift to me."

"Are you _sure_ you want me to wear this?" she muttered.

"Very. Now let's see how you look," he said as he finished putting the surcoat over the chain mail. "Fits well, not too big…You'll look fine on the battlefield."

She turned red in embarrassment, "I can't go out like this…people will ask questions. And if I bring it with me and wear it there, Arthur will recognize his own family symbol. He'll definitely be questioning me."

"I've only dressed you up in it for now so that I could see how well it fits and if it needed any adjustments, and to see how it looks on you. But you wear it well enough. And for Arthur, just tell him it is a loan from me and an apology for not being able to do more for your situation."

Merlin looked closely at him, confused but grateful. She took off the chain mail and surcoat, folding them and tucking them under her arm.

"I really can't help your mother. Know that this isn't your family versus mine, Merlin. You _are_ part of my family now, and if I could do anything for you –I would."

She gaped stupidly at him, even more when he took his sword and handed it to her, scabbard and all.

"It is not as extravagant as the sword you made for Arthur, but I've used it in battle many times. It has served me well, as you have, and I hope _it_ will serve_ you_ well."

Numbly taking it, she almost fainted when Uther yanked his livery collar off his neck and shoved it towards her.

"If you keep handing me things, I'm just going to faint," she looked panicked.

"Just take it. Wear it for good luck, wrap it around your arm under your clothing. This also really is my apology for not being able to do more for you."

She quickly hugged him before she could change her mind, then left quickly, leaving father bewildered like she had the son. She had to leave before he decided to hand her his crown next, and before she decided to panic and give back everything and _then_ faint.

Finding Arthur on the battlements, she hesitantly approached him, glad that she'd packed the stuff Uther had gave her away already.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more. If it had been my decision, we would already be on the way there."

Merlin shook her head, smiling sadly. "You did all you could, and I'm very grateful. Thank you for getting an audience with the King."

"I wish Camelot could help anyone, regardless how far away they live," Arthur mumbled, glancing at her regretfully.

"I'm going back to Ealdor," she told him.

He looked sharply at her before forcibly making himself look neutral. "Of course."

"It's been an honor serving you," she lightly touched his shoulder, before her hand retracted. His hand shot out and grabbed it, stilling it.

"You'll be coming back?" and the undertone of hope and pain mixed bothered her.

"She's my mother. I have got to look after her before anyone else. You understand?"

His eyes fluttered closed and he took her hand he was holding and held it to his cheek.

"I'd do exactly the same. Well…you've been terrible. Really. I mean it, the worst servant I've ever had," he solemnly said as he nuzzled her hand, only hint of a joke was the small smile on his lips.

"Thank you, Sire," her own lips tugged into a slight smile.

Suddenly, he pulled her close, tilting his head towards hers. In panic, she took both hands and pushed them against him. She was shocked when he grabbed her wrists, holding them tightly against his chest.

"You're _leaving_, Merlin. And you're implying you're not coming back. Let me have this. Just this one kiss. _Please_," he murmured against her temple.

Caving, she sighed and nodded. She tilted her head up and her lips met his, allowing him to push closer and slant his lips. There was something much more intimate in this than the kiss they shared when she had been trying to seduce him, even though it was less passion-filled.

Breaking it off before Arthur decided that he wasn't going to let her go, she tried to smile at him one last time before she ran off.

She was going to go to Gwen for a sword, but now that Uther had thrust his own at her she didn't see the need. She did need to say goodbye though, and since she couldn't find Morgana, she could send her goodbyes through Gwen.

"I heard you had chain mail and a sword already," Gwen teased when Merlin had settled into her home, drinking some water before she had to set off.

"It's a loan," Merlin grinned in a strained way. _'From the King actually, not that I would say that…'_

"By who?"

Merlin laughed nervously, "Hehe, just…by someone you don't know."

Gwen thankfully accepted that, so Merlin relaxed a fraction.

"So I don't have to pack you chain mail and a sword," Gwen stated, taking a chain mail and a sword and putting it to the side. Merlin saw there were still a pair of swords.

"Gwen…you can't come. You have to stay and serve Morgana," Merlin hoped that the second sword wouldn't belong to the Lady.

"We're both coming, and there's really nothing you can do about it. We're all set, got ready before you came. So even if you leave without us, we'd follow," Morgana appeared, dressed for travel and for fighting.

"Why would you?" Merlin hid her cringe.

"Because you would do the same for us. And you have. You saved my life," Gwen answered softly.

"And you helped me with the Druid boy. We both owe you, Merlin," Morgana finished.

'_Oh hell, they're both cornering me, just like Uther said they would.'_ She hated it when the King was right.

"You two shouldn't come. It's not your problem and you shouldn't concern yourselves in this," Merlin stated firmly.

Both Morgana and Gwen smirked at the same time eerily, sending shivers down Merlin's spine and setting off warning signals in her head.

"I'm _leaving_ now. Goodbye both of you," Merlin frowned at them, getting up from her chair and moving to leave.

They stepped in front of her before she even took one step away from her seat.

"Not so fast," Gwen's smirk widened.

"I don't think so, Merlin. We figured you'd say it wasn't our problem and then try to leave. We planned ahead," Morgana's smirk look decidedly downright evil.

"We spiked your drink with a tasteless sleeping drought that I got from Gaius before I came here to meet with you," Gwen smugly elaborated on their plan.

Merlin stared. Then, suddenly, she started laughing raucously, doubling over. The two looked uncertainly at each other.

"Okay." Then Merlin held out her arms, looked up and down and then around herself. "Doesn't look like the drought you swiped worked. You probably grabbed the wrong one."

Giggling, the sorceress stepped around them and then headed to the door before she took some wobbly steps.

"Huh…what?" Merlin mumbled before collapsing.

"Worked after all," Morgana sighed in relief. "Must've been a delayed reaction."

"But I didn't swipe the drought. Gaius gave it to me," Gwen said confused.

"I don't think Merlin really thought Gaius would actually help us drug him."

* * *

Sadly enough, Merlin was out the entire time. Morgana and Gwen dragged her body to meet with Hunith at Gaius', before all three of them left for Ealdor. Hunith was still staring at them strangely.

When they set up camp in the forest, Merlin was still out. In the darkness of the night, Arthur caught up to them and said he was joining. Then he looked over to Merlin's unconscious body and looked questioningly at them.

"We drugged him," Gwen answered cheerfully.

Arthur gaped at her as she and Morgana headed to bed.

When they headed out in the morning, Arthur was holding the unconscious Merlin as they rode together on the horse. Merlin groaned and realized she was riding on a horse that she wasn't controlling, and that she was leaning against a broad chest.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," a familiar voice said in a half-sarcastic half-cheery tone.

She slowly leaned her head back more until she finally saw his face smiling down at her arrogantly.

"All three of you are insane," she groaned again.

"You're kind of light for a guy, you know that Merlin?" Arthur teased.

Merlin glared at him from her position, "I let you kiss me because you convinced me you wouldn't have an opportunity ever again. You're _here_ now, you smug liar."

Arthur apologetically looked at her, admitting quietly, "You would never kiss me otherwise. I took advantage of the moment, even when I knew I would come after you anyway."

"Why is it so hard to stay angry at you?" she glared at him.

"Because I'm so lovable?" he returned with a proud grin.

She hit his shoulder hard and focused on ignoring him for the rest of the journey to her home village. When they neared Ealdor, they saw it being attacked. Arthur smoothly pulled out an extra sword, easily missing her, and then gracefully tossed it straight through the air as a warning shot to the leader. It hit the post behind the man Merlin guessed was Kanan.

The group disembarked from their horses and engaged with an opponent each. Merlin was actually glad about the torture Arthur and Uther put her through, though generally more for Uther. Arthur just attacked and made the fight rather one-sided, but he did teach her specific moves at least. Uther, though, was very painstakingly obsessive and thorough on teaching her, and made sure she was taught properly. She didn't know which one was worse.

When her opponent cornered her, Merlin's eyes flashed and lightning lanced through the swords, shocking her attacker's hands and dropping his sword. The man stumbled back, staring down at his unresponsive hands. Glaring at her, he charged forward and tried to hit her, only for his arms to lay flaccid by his sides and ending up stumbling forward. She smirked at his fallen and twitching form.

_That_ had been specially taught by and created by Edwin Muirden. The ability to manipulate the bioelectricity around a person. He had been in the middle of developing the technique when he'd died, but all of his notes and equipment were left to her. With the basic training he'd given her on it, she'd managed to continue perfecting her control to the level Edwin had had at the point of his death. And with his notes, she was hoping to moving beyond and reaching the ideal usage that Edwin had been working towards.

It had been her favorite part of what she'd learned from him.

The battle was over before it had even begun, and Arthur was introduced. She recognized William making a big scene and resolved to talk to him later, after she'd helped Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen settle into her home.

"I…recognize that sword," Arthur stated in surprise in the hut.

Merlin flinched. "Ah, this sword?"

Arthur blinked and looked confused at her. "Why do you have my father's sword?"

She flinched again, having thought that if Arthur were to start questioning her it would've been with the surcoat. She had not thought of Uther's sword being recognized. Swallowing her nervousness down, she tried to speak the rehearsed reply she had thought over endlessly.

"The King told me he was sorry that he couldn't help, but that he wished in some way he could. He said that he would lend me his sword and an old surcoat so that the spirit of Camelot may be with me to fight against the raiders, since Camelot itself cannot help now."

Arthur nodded slowly, with Morgana and Gwen listening quietly in the background. Her own mother was listening curiously.

"I see then. Well, let's take a look at that surcoat. It would be a shame if Father just handed it to you and didn't see if it fit properly. Wouldn't want you to be dwarfed in it, you see," Arthur said light-heartedly, but his eyes were hard to read. He took out the black surcoat, faltering at the unusual colors and surprise at the Pendragon symbol clear on his face for a moment, he gently pulled it over her head and let it fall down around her body.

"It fits almost perfectly," the Prince murmured, staring.

Merlin stayed quiet.

"I'm assuming the chain mail is from him as well?" Arthur questioned. "They're very useful and you seem capable of wearing them well. And I'm rather proud of the way you handled the sword. I would've thought you would have dropped it at first move."

She rolled her eyes and smirked at him. If only he knew his father was helping to teach her…One day, one day…she was going to beat Arthur with her newly developed sword skills and lord it over him.

"I, um…have to go to talk to William," Merlin said, trying to escape from the questions that might still be coming.

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. "The bloke that was complaining about me helping the village?"

"Yes, him," Merlin frowned at him.

"_Right_. I have no idea what his problem is, and I hope you tell him that."

She rolled her eyes.

* * *

Her talk with Will hadn't gone well. At all.

"_He knows what he's doing. You've got to trust him. Look, when I first met Arthur, I was exactly like you. I hated him. I thought he was pompous and arrogant."  
_

"_Well, nothing's changed there, then."  
_

"_But in time I came to respect him for what he stands for, what he does."  
__  
"I know what he stands for. Princes, kings, all men like him."_

_"Will, don't bring what happened to your father into this."_

_"I'm not. Why are you defending him so much? You're just his servant."_

_"He's also my friend!"_

_"Friends don't lord it over one another."_

_"He isn't like that."_

_"Really? Well, let's wait until the fighting begins and see who he sends in to die first. I guarantee you it won't be him."_

_"I trust Arthur with my life._

_"Is that so? So he knows your secret then?"_

"…"

"_Face it, Merlin. You're living a lie just like you were here. You're Arthur's servant, nothing more. Otherwise you'd tell him the truth."_

It wasn't like she bloody could. For one, Uther practically forbid it. And yes, she was worried how he would take it. And if she told him about her magic, she'd have to reveal her agreement to his father (and every other damned secret she had). While she wasn't sure if Uther still meant it, he _had_ told her before he would have her executed if she ever told about the accord they had.

"You've slept on the floor for most of your life?" Arthur asked in the cover of the night.

"Yeah...the bed I have in Camelot is a luxury."

"It must have been hard."

"Like a rock," she quipped.

"Idiot. I meant life. Living like this…"

"No, not really. We don't really know any better. Everything's very simple for us and we were just satisfied with having food and a place to call home. You'd hate it," Merlin remarked good-naturedly.

"No doubt," Arthur admitted with a laugh."Why'd you leave?"

Merlin faltered. "Things just…changed."

"How?"

When she was wondering how to answer that, Arthur actually planted his foot on her face and pushed it.

"Stop trying to be interesting. Just tell me," he ordered jokingly.

"I just didn't fit in anymore," she muttered. "I wanted to find a place I could fit in."

"Had any luck?"

"I'm not sure yet," she answered absentmindedly.

She was surprised when Arthur sat up, effortlessly moving quickly to her side and behind her. She was about to sit up when he lay back down and wrapped his arms around her.

"You fit perfectly with me," Arthur murmured into her hair.

"How many times do we have to have this conversation?" Merlin asked wearily, though she made no move to leave his arms. She supposed she was too tired to fight him on it right then.

"I don't _care_, Merlin. Why are you so against being with me?"

"Because," she shuffled around in his arms until she faced him, looking at him solemnly. "One day, you will be King. You will need a wife that will bear you an heir, one that will be approved of being with you. I will be happy serving you loyally, watching over you. I can't get in the way of your rule."

"That's horse shit," he frowned. "I don't want anyone but you. I will have no wife then."

She sighed, "You need a wife to be Queen, so she could bear you an heir to the throne. May I remind you, Sire, that I am male?" The well-practiced lie slid off her lips, and somewhere in her she regretted the lie and the need for it. She also regretted that the first part was so true. She could no more be his wife than his lover.

As a sorceress, she may come to be respected as an important advisor and of higher rank than all but the King and Queen (in the future, of course), but she would never be accepted as more than that. Magic had no business ruling. Most magic-users knew their place; it's why they were never in a position of sovereign. Those with magic already had such fearsome power, why add more?

Though, after Uther's rather idiotic decision to eradicate all forms of magic from his kingdom, that blasé attitude was thrown away and magic-users have become restless, agitated and more or less vengeful and power-hungry since then. Shame that.

"I want no Queen," Arthur quietly but firmly reaffirmed to her. "And I will have none. And for this night, let me at least hold you in contentment until you pull away and leave me cold once again."

The next morning, she had already slipped from Arthur's possessive hold before light had even risen, and she watched the sun rise from her spot slightly away from Arthur's sleeping form.

"Merlin," he sighed in his sleep, and she glanced over to him, feeling conflicted.

"He must care for you a great deal," her mother's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"It isn't me personally," Merlin denied. "It's just the way he is, and whether it's me or someone else or any other village, Arthur would help in any way he could."

"It's more than that. He's here for _you_," Hunith insisted, and Merlin got the vaguest sense her mother was channeling Uther in his insistence of this certain topic.

"Don't be silly, Mother," she muttered.

Hunith smiled affectionately at her daughter. "Merlin, I heard him just now. He speaks your name in sleep, and follows you here even when his station demands him not to. And last night, I must admit I wasn't quite asleep and heard his confessions. And the fact my own daughter is pretending to be a man."

"It's a long story," she twitched.

"You must tell it to me sometime."

Merlin breathed in the fresh air to calm her frazzled nerves, taking a hand and running it through her loose hair. The slight jangle of Uther's livery collar brought attention to it, and she stared at it in thought. But she'd forgotten her mother was still there.

"Is…that the King's necklace?"

She muttered a curse to herself. "Mother, it isn't what it looks like. I didn't steal it. He…lent it to me. For luck," Merlin admitted.

Hunith watched her curiously. "I saw him. Everyone was looking to me, but I was looking to him. I caught the quick look he sent you, an apology written on his face that was directed towards you before being wiped so no one else could notice."

"I thought no one caught that," she winced.

"Only me, my daughter. Don't worry. Whatever is going on, it is still secret between you and His Majesty." Hunith studied her only daughter for a moment. "You know, you never knew your father here. I am glad in Camelot, you have come to find a father figure that I've always regretted you not having here."

"Mother…" Merlin groaned and crossed her arms behind her head, looking lazily into the sun. "Don't tell them this, because really –I'm still in denial even though I've already acknowledged it as truth –but I know I've reluctantly been pushed into accepting I was somehow adopted into this dysfunctional family without my knowing. Really, I'm telling the truth. I don't know how I was tricked into becoming a Pendragon member. All of a sudden I was just working for them, and then things just went downhill for me, I tell you. Sometimes Mother, I miss the simplicity of Ealdor."

"But after everything, we'd bore you to death within days," her mother teased.

Merlin gave her a guilty look that she smiled off.

"Ealdor was great to raise you in, but Camelot is where you belong," Hunith's smile turned slightly sad. "You must give Arthur more credit. He truly likes you."

"And if he were to find out the truth, I would be dead," Merlin said bitterly.

"Do you really believe that to be truth? Or is your head deceiving you in fear?"

"Oh Mother…" Merlin shook her head. "I will go retrieve us some wood. I will be back."

Leaving her mother behind, she hurriedly ran away. In the woods, she stared nostalgically at the trees and remembered simpler times.

"Why'd you leave?" came Will's blunt voice.

"It is too early to get into a fight with you, Will," Merlin tiredly said, plopping down onto the grass and laying on her back as she gazed up at the lightening sky.

Will came next to her, gently lying down. "Sorry…it's just, I know you could defeat Kanan on your own. I know you have the power to do so. And I am bit hurt that you had to leave."

"It wasn't my choice. My mother was worried when she found out you knew."

"I wouldn't have told anyone," Will said earnestly, getting up slightly to lean on an elbow as he looked to her.

"I know you wouldn't have."

"You could take Kanan out, can't you? What's stopping you? Surely, not that Prince of yours. What would it matter if he knew?"

"_Please_, Will. Not right now. I don't want to fight with you."

Will looked away ashamed. "I am sorry," he murmured, scooting closer and placing his forehead against hers. She smiled lightly, throwing an arm around his neck comfortably. Will had been her best friend since forever. This was comfortable…comfortable and familiar.

A throat cleared and they both looked up to see Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen. Arthur looked shocked and hurt, Morgana normal but for the slight pain and confusion in her eyes, and the confusion and dismay completely on Gwen's face.

And Merlin realized what they were thinking about her friendship with Will.

It was for the best, she realized. Better to hurt them all now than for them to be in pain later. She had no business being with someone of Arthur's rank. He was the Prince and required a Queen that she knew she couldn't be. Her destiny wasn't to be at Arthur's side like that, it was to be his most trusted advisor –looking over him and protecting him always. She was supposed to guide him. Never mind her own platonic feelings, Morgana was also of higher status. What was a Lady like her thinking, falling for a servant like Merlin? She didn't even know Merlin was a female. As if her gender wouldn't be enough, the difference in social classes and Morgana's own obligations to fulfill for her station. Gwen may seem like another matter because they shared the same social class, but it was still the same thing. Better for Gwen to hurt now than to be led on and be even more hurt later when the truth was out.

Will got up and she allowed him to help her up.

"The men are going to start training now. Just thought…I should inform you," Arthur frowned heavily, unable to mask his hurt.

"I see. Let's go watch, Will," and Merlin purposefully grabbed Will's hand and started to lead him back to the village.

That whole day, she and Will acted as they always had when she'd lived there in Ealdor. The best of friends. But every action was like a stab to the gut to her Camelot friends and she knew it. Simple things like the way she and Will leaned towards each other, the way they whispered into each other's ear, or even the platonic touches were twisted in their minds as something more than it was. And she didn't say anything to change their minds otherwise. She let them believe what they wanted to believe.

Will was braiding her hair right then. It was something he always used to do when she lived there. Uther sometimes fixed her hair up, though most of the times it wasn't a braid. He did elaborate hairstyles, and she'd always take care not to mess her hair up that entire day. Said it was something he used to do for Ingraine.

A noise sounded to the left, and she carefully turned her head and saw Arthur staring, a chair knocked onto its side next to him. Will was focused on her hair and said nothing, but she watched the Prince carefully. His expression darkened considerably and a frown seemed to be permanently etched onto his face.

There was silence and then Arthur sharply turned and left.

"Merlin…are you using me to push the others away?"

She winced but said nothing, confirming his suspicions.

Will sighed, kissing her temple. "I am your friend, Merlin. I stand by your side. Whatever is going on between you and them, I will say nothing."

"I'm sorry, Will. You've always been such a good friend to me."

He gave a slight friendly tug on her hair before he began braiding again.

* * *

Will slung an arm around her shoulder, laughing at something she said. When he had to go, he kissed her cheek and left, and suddenly she was approached by a hesitant Morgana. The Lady gave her a shaky smile that she returned sorrowfully.

"So…you and your friend Will, huh? I…had no idea you preferred men."

Merlin sighed, knowing it wasn't fair to Will and that she didn't feel right lying straight out to Morgana.

"No, we're just very good friends. There's nothing between us like that," she confessed.

She could visibly see the relief on Morgana's face, though a tinge of red stained her cheeks.

"Oh. I see. Well, you two did look rather cute together. Though if you chose a man to be with, you would look much better with Arthur."

Snapping her head towards Morgana, she was glad to see that Morgana hadn't noticed the obvious attraction Arthur showed towards her and had said that only because she truly believed it. Which was kind of scary seeing how many people could see her with Arthur…

She gaped openly when Morgana comfortably settled herself around her, leaning on her and wrapping her arms around her right one as they started walking again. And no Gaius excuse to bail her out this time…

Well, Will just left and her mother was busy. No other people to use as an excuse.

Then again, when Gwen slipped in on her other side, she really wished she hadn't let Will get away so easily.

That night, Merlin couldn't sleep as she heard Gwen and Morgana talk about Arthur coming there mainly for one reason.

"_We don't stand a chance."_

"_Arthur can't see that. He's too stubborn."_

"_Why do you think he came here?"_

"_The same reason we did. Merlin. Arthur may act like he doesn't care, but…he wouldn't be here if he didn't."_

Disgruntled, she'd woken up and grabbed Arthur at first chance, dragging him off to the forest.

"Planning on seducing me and planting hundreds of kisses on my lovely visage?" Arthur playfully snarked, only a hint of pain underneath.

"You stupid prat. I'm not with Will like that. He's just a friend, so stop acting like a kicked puppy and train those men."

A mixture of relief, hope, and happiness showed on his face. "I'll have you know, I _have _been training those men seriously, no matter the preoccupation of my heart and mind."

She winced. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Saying silly things like that. You need to accept we can't be together like that. Ever."

"Never," he declared. "And I'll stick to that. My word is true and so is my feelings. I will prove that to you until my dying breath."

"You call me an idiot, but _you're the bloody idiot_!" she shouted frustrated.

He just stared determinedly at her.

"Arthur, you must let go of me."

"I won't and I always get what I want," he swore.

She had never felt more frustrated in her life.

They returned back to the village, only to find Matthew's body slung across a horse's back, clearly dead. Will screamed blame at Arthur, running away. She was torn, wanting to go after him, but wondering if the disheartened look on Arthur's face meant he needed her more.

"Arthur, please go to where we were talking earlier. I promise to talk to you, but it'll take time. And I need to talk to Will first."

"Is he more important than me?" Arthur asked bitterly.

"No. No…you…are the _most_ important part of my life"

Surprised and wide-eyed, Arthur nodded and left. She headed to find Will at his home, seeing him packing.

"You are leaving, you coward?" she asked coldly.

"You could take care of all of this, if you would just use your magic!" Will yelled at her tearfully.

She averted her eyes to the ground in shame and anger.

"There are more important things happening, Will. I…can't."

"And what is more important than your friends and family? Your Prince?"

"Yes," she spat out, glaring daggers at him. "His destiny is far greater than can be denied. I have to help him there, and I will not allow anything to get in the way of that."

This was the Uther part of her talking, and she realized the harsh truth and the reality of her choice. Arthur was more important than anything, even her old family and friends. She would choose him over them, and it was a choice that had been made for her and that she'd come to accept and make on her own. She loved them, but her devotion to Arthur was far greater than the love she held in her heart for any of them. It was a devotion she hadn't expected, but knew would come in time as had been shown in her visions.

She would do anything for Arthur, and the rest would be damned.

"You will abandon them?" she asked numbly, the truth of herself weighing down on her.

"You already have."

And as much as that stung, she felt the numbness and coldness set in and an icy resolve for Arthur gave her fortitude and indifference.

"But at least I am here now, for them and with them until the end."

She left without a backward glance, heading straight to Arthur. And there, she saw him gazing at the grass worriedly.

"Will's father died in the service of King Cendred, so he doesn't trust anyone of nobility. He will be ignored because he's always been a troublemaker, and everyone is used to ignoring him."

"What if he's right?" Arthur's deadened voice whispered.

Sitting next to him, she pulled him against her, holding him tight. "He's not."

"I've treated these men like soldiers, but the truth is that they're not."

"Are you losing hope?"

"Yes."

She brushed her lips against his forehead. "Don't. Believe in them, and they will serve faithfully. If you don't, they will sense it and the battle will be lost before it has even begun."

"That's not fair," he murmured, feelings his skin tingle at her touch.

"It's not supposed to be," she retorted in slight amusement.

She pulled him up and kissed him lightly on his lips, taking him by surprise.

"We can't be together, you must understand that, Arthur. But you must know, that I l –…that I am devoted entirely to you. If you ask anything of me, other than my love, then I will grant it to you."

"And what if your love is all I really want?"

"It is something I cannot give, and in time you will understand."

Arthur slumped forward, so she lifted his head up and kissed him without thought. Only for this moment…

"You may be stubborn, Merlin. But I am more."

And she feared that.

* * *

Arthur gave a beautiful speech that night, and Gwen managed to get him to let the women decide if they wanted to fight or not. Hunith expressed the same fear Merlin had agonized over the entire stay there, of Arthur finding out about her magic. She hoped, as she told her mother, that Arthur would accept her if he was truly her friend…if he really did love her as much as he claimed.

When it was time for the battle, Merlin settled the chain mail around her, carefully putting on the surcoat.

"My father lent this to you as well?" Arthur's voice cut into her thoughts, and she whirled around to see him grabbing Uther's livery collar, adjusting his hold to around the top of the crest to examine it closely.

"Uh, yes," she groaned inwardly. "He said for luck. I've been wearing it around my left arm."

He walked closer, holding the necklace out and splaying the chain open with his hands. He slipped it around her neck.

"Today, you should wear it around your neck proudly," he stated calmly, correcting the necklace's placement.

"Okay," she muttered resignedly.

"And your…his sword," Arthur grabbed Uther's sword and expertly set it in the scabbard at her belt.

He kissed her quickly before she could say anything, moving back before she could react.

"For luck," he whispered, fingers brushing against the livery collar as he stared into her eyes.

"The raiders have crossed the river," Morgana interrupted, unaware.

"We should get ready then," Merlin said, ignoring the bright red blush staining her face.

The battle wasn't epic, but it was gritty and real and frantic. The villagers would not go down without a fight, and so they fought on determinedly, refusing to give up. And Merlin saw that and realized something. Yes, she was completely loyal to Arthur by that point. Yes, she would choose him above these people. But in the end, she was still not at the point of complete devotion and cold apathy she would in the future, and somewhere inside she truly still loved these villagers –enough to use magic to save them, regardless of the consequences.

And with Will having returned to fight alongside her, she really couldn't abandon them all now.

Calling upon her magic, she created strong whirlwinds that sent the raiders running away. She ignored the calls of Arthur of who had done that, knowing she couldn't speak and focused more on finishing off the raiders.

She looked back to see Kanan had remained and had begun a duel with Arthur, with the Prince running his sword through the leader of the bandits. Arthur stormed over to her and Will, demanding who had created the whirlwinds, and she only missed Kanan's last attack by a second. A second too late.

Before she'd realized it, Will had saved Arthur and was hit with the arrow Kanan had shot at his dying breath.

"I've saved you twice, Prince," Will smirked with difficulty, carefully laid onto the table at Merlin's house.

"Twice?" Arthur questioned, distraught and glancing over at a shocked and quiet Merlin.

"I –I was the one who created those winds. I'm the sorcerer. I saw how desperate everything was becoming and I had to do something."

"Will," Merlin said sharply, tears marring her face and mixing into her tone.

"No, Merlin. It's alright. I'd…I'd always loved you, you know. Ever since we were kids. I knew you've never liked me like that, but I'm so happy to have known you even as we were," Will smiled painfully, tears running down his own face.

"Idiot," she said affectionately, tearing up even more. "I love you just the same, even if not in the same way."

Will's lips twitched before he coughed up blood, panicking them. He looked to Arthur dazedly.

"Take…take care of her, okay?"

Arthur nodded numbly, feeling an undertone of shock at the unwarranted revelation.

Merlin grasped onto Will's front, "You can't die!"

"I was right. I told you he was going to get me killed," Will mumbled sluggishly, becoming out of it.

"Will…"

"Destiny awaits. You're a good woman, Merlin. A great woman. You will…f-fulfill your d-destiny. A-and t-that time will c-come for you to be e-even greater than you a-are now. A-a great servant to a great king…" Will slurred.

"Thank you," she murmured, leaning down and kissing her friend's lips, never mind Arthur being right there.

Arthur turned away in respect, pushing down his jealousy.

'_He's a dying man, Arthur. Let him have this one respite before his death, you selfish fool.'_

"This place has been boring without you. It was good to see you again," Will said fondly before he closed his eyes and smiled softly. His chest stopped breathing.

"WILL!" she cried out, lunging forward and sobbing into Will's front. Arthur moved forward hesitantly, wrapping his arms securely around her in comfort. She cried into his chest instead, and he said reassuring words into her ear as he stared down at the man who'd just died for him.

* * *

Merlin knew she had to go back to Camelot, leaving her mother behind once more.

"You had better get going," Hunith said fretfully, checking over her daughter to make sure she was alright and to memorize every detail before she left again.

"I don't have to."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course you do. I'll be fine, my darling. I know where to find you if ever I need you, so don't worry. You belong at Arthur's side. I've seen how much he needs you, how much you need him. You're like two sides of a coin."

"How familiar, those words…" Merlin sighed. "I'll miss you."

"And I you. Go on, dear. I'm so proud of you. Know that one day the truth will be known. For now, keep it secret. It is better for everyone."

And so she ended up riding back to Camelot. She just hadn't expected for Arthur to come riding up next to her and shocking her with his next words.

"A man, are you? I suppose when Will asked me to 'take care of her', he meant your mother."

"Arthur," she said anxiously, staring at him.

"Excuse number one nonexistent," he said quietly. "You said I needed a Queen for an heir. You are my only Queen and I will have no other bear my children. And if you refuse, then I shall have no heir."

He rode farther up front, and Merlin was unable to argue on the matter, with Morgana and Gwen coming up closer.

She stormed away, into Gaius' quarters and into her room once they'd arrived in Camelot.

Arthur immediately headed for the throne room, a stoic look already plastered on his face.

"I don't know what you're planning, but I want you to leave Merlin out of it," he demanded, the first thing out of his mouth once confronted with his father.

"And what makes you so sure I have anything to do with her?" Uther asked amusedly.

"So you already knew Merlin was a female?" Arthur gritted his teeth, glaring at the King.

"Of course," he answered simply.

"Answer my questions," Arthur hissed out angrily.

"Like I said, what makes you so sure I know anything more of her?" Uther adopted a bored tone.

"You lent her your livery collar, your sword, and allowed her to wear our family symbol. You must have your reasons and I want to know them."

Uther laughed harshly before surprisingly handing Arthur a scroll.

"What is this?" Arthur frowned.

"A marriage contract."

Arthur's eyes flashed. "I don't want to be married to some tedious noblewomen or princess."

Uther leaned back in his throne, watching his son with dark eyes and a smirk plastered on his face.

"You want to marry her, don't you?"

"W-what?" Arthur asked in confusion.

Uther took back the scroll, twirling it around his fingers. "I've been working on this for awhile. Thinking about it, writing and rewriting. If you want to marry Merlin, Arthur, we need to come to a deal."

Arthur narrowed his eyes at his father. "What…what do you want?"

"It's not what I want for myself, but what I want for this family. This marriage contract is valid, but you must agree to certain terms. First, you may not tell Merlin about _any_ of this. She cannot know of the marriage contract that I've drawn up for you and her, she cannot know of its existence at all."

"Done," Arthur agreed immediately.

"We're not through yet, Arthur. You must convince her to allow herself to feel for you. She is being very obstinate on that."

"Tell me about it," Arthur muttered.

Uther rolled his eyes in agreement. "And this is not negotiable. You must quit questioning. Look the other way, Arthur. If you start having suspicions, stamp them down and pretend they never existed."

Arthur stared at him calculatingly. His father didn't need to say exactly what he was talking about, but he knew already what he'd meant.

Reluctantly, Arthur nodded. "I agree to those terms."

"Then, you two are engaged. She just doesn't know about it. Yet."

Arthur nodded again and turned to leave.

"One more thing, Arthur. Merlin cannot know that you are aware of the…relationship between her and I. Is that understood?" Uther's voice was only slightly chilly.

Arthur looked at him warily. "Of course, Father. I understand."

They were questionable terms, but he was serious in keeping her by his side. And he understood then that he had to do so by playing on her field and by her terms, just until he could manipulate things his way –just like how Merlin and his father seem to be manipulating a subtle web around them all.

He could play on their field. And he will.

Started 7/7/09 –Completed 7/23/09

random reviewer: (snickers) Merlin still in denial? About what? She's in denial about everything practically. Ah, Uther, Uther, Uther. He does get into the thick of things, doesn't he? And well, this chapter should answer your question about Arthur finding out. Glad the characters and the plot hasn't bored anyone yet, and Merlin and Uther are through the 'distrust and kill each other' phase, but Uther is still Uther so Merlin will still be wary. And however fond and caring he is to her, she is still his partner in crime and someone that's part of the grand scheme of things. Good that you like the foreshadowing, it'll be important later on.

Preview:

"Shame about that unicorn," Merlin sighed remorsefully.

"Yeah…shame," Arthur muttered.

"What's wrong with you? You've been a right prat all day, even when we were hunting," she frowned at him.

He strode quickly over to her, pinning her against his wardrobe. The carvings dug into her back and she wondered what was his problem.

"I wonder…what punishment is fitting for your deceit and lies?" Arthur playfully smirked at her, before his expression darkened. "Do you miss my touch? Do you feel as intoxicated in my presence as I do in yours? Do you remember the feel of my lips?" he growled against her throat, nipping at the skin there sharply.


	11. We Lie Awake

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S1.11 ("The Labyrinth of Gedref") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…  
A/n: Jeez, this chapter was hard to write and hard to finish…this took forever, so sorry for that. Very long, liked it in the end, but worried about some elements and how they'll appeal to you guys. So yeah…

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Eleven: We Lie Awake_

"Shame about that unicorn," Merlin sighed remorsefully.

"Yeah…shame," Arthur muttered.

"What's wrong with you? You've been a right prat all day, even when we were hunting," she frowned at him, wishing he'd regret killing the unicorn more.

He strode quickly over to her, pinning her against his wardrobe. The carvings dug into her back and she wondered what was his problem.

"I wonder…what punishment is fitting for your deceit and lies?" Arthur playfully smirked at her, before his expression darkened. "Do you miss my touch? Do you feel as intoxicated in my presence as I do in yours? Do you remember the feel of my lips?" he growled against her throat, nipping at the skin there sharply.

Merlin pushed at him, trying to get away. But her attempts were weak in the first place, so it did nothing more than make him choose to push closer.

"Stop it," she hissed, lips curling into a sneer.

"Why?" he glared back.

"_Because_ we can't –"

Arthur interrupted her, "You know that is shit and absolutely unacceptable to me. Your reasons are just excuses. You say I need a Queen, then why can't you be her?"

"Arthur, we are not of the same social class. It will be unaccept –"

"Shut up."

"What?" she was stunned.

"I said 'shut up'," and Arthur kissed her roughly, wiping all thoughts from her head.

When Arthur had thoroughly explored her mouth, he pulled back slowly and stared intensely at her.

"I don't care about that. If they care so much about your station, then I refuse to be King."

Her hand moved by itself, smacking him hard across his right cheek. An angry red welt started swelling there immediately. Arthur's head stayed turned, his blond bands shadowing his eyes. She stared incredulously at her handprint.

"I'm…I'm so sorry," she whispered in shock.

But instead of getting angry, he just softly grabbed onto her wrists, holding them up as he leaned forward and laid his head against her heart.

"You insist on it so much? That I be King?" he murmured.

"You have to. It is your destiny," she said softly, unmoving and everything not setting in.

There was a pause in their talk, in which Arthur said nothing and just stayed in his position for a couple minutes.

'_Tiny steps, Arthur. Weave your own web.'_

He looked up slowly, eyes promising something she didn't want to acknowledge.

"Then I will be King. On one condition."

Merlin hesitantly nodded. "What condition?"

"For as long as I am Prince, you will allow yourself to be with me."

She stared. He had just cornered her skillfully into this.

"Well, _Mer_lin. Will you have me King or will I have to refuse my birthright?"

"Fine," she gritted out.

A slow smile spread across his face and she reluctantly let him lead her to his bed.

"Wait," she panicked. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Relax," he said, slight annoyance leaking into his tone. "We're not going to have sex," he said bluntly. "I just want to cuddle."

'_C-cuddle?'_ her mind was all over the place.

He gently laid her onto the bed, slipping in beside her. She moved onto her side to face the wall, unable to face him with her bright red face. Not bothered by it, Arthur put his arms around her and pulled her close, sighing into her neck. Curving his body to hers, Arthur fell asleep in contentment.

When they awoke, they didn't move from their spot and stayed in the same position, listening to the sudden rain outside.

"Were you serious about the unicorn?"

"You gave the horn to your father as a gift. Gaius warned that killing a unicorn will grant the killer grave misfortune. Both of you ignored the warning," Merlin told him tiredly.

She started to get up and he tightened his hold.

"Where are you going?"

She sighed, "Arthur, I have to go."

He reluctantly unwound his arms from her and watched as she got up and adjusted her crumpled clothing. She looked to him and saw his frowning and upset face. Grudgingly, she gave him a soft smile and touched his jaws with her fingers, lightly lifting it up. She planted soft kisses around his face and nuzzled his jaw before pulling back and looking him straight in the eye.

"Look at me, Arthur. I promise. I'll come back. I just have something to do and then I'll be back in here, letting you have your way once again."

He gave her a lopsided smile and leaned up to kiss her once before she flitted away and then walked out of his room.

His smile turned into a frown and he stared at his door with a shadowed expression. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but he remembered his promise to his father. So he kept quiet and played along. He wondered if it was to his father she had gone to.

"_You must quit questioning. Look the other way, Arthur. If you start having suspicions, stamp them down and pretend they never existed."_

"_Merlin cannot know that you are aware of the…relationship between her and I. Is that understood?"_

Just because he wouldn't say anything aloud, didn't mean he would not keep questions in his head.

* * *

"You are sure about this?" Uther grimaced.

"Yes. Gaius wasn't lying about the legends. If they are true then Camelot may be in grave danger."

"Perhaps…perhaps you are mistaken…"

Merlin rolled her eyes, "Are you going to choose now of all times to question me?"

"It just seems like everything wrong has to do with magic," Uther muttered.

"Maybe my presence around here isn't such a good idea," she frowned, thinking about it. "I mean, look at it this way. Ever since I came here, none of you would be able to survive without me there to save you. But before I came here, none of you even needed saving."

"Coincidence. All coincidence," Uther insisted. "Everything would have happened anyway, but with you here at least we can survive through it. Think about it _this way_, if you had never come here, all of that would have happened anyway and we would never have been able to stay alive. It's thanks to you that we were able to endure through all of it. Your arrival coincident with the events, giving us a fighting chance."

Touched, she just gave a nod, acknowledging what he'd said.

"And you're right. After everything, I shouldn't question your judgment. Convince Arthur of the unicorn legend, and I will remain the ignorant King."

"Ignorant you are not, my friend," Merlin laughed softly, realizing a little too late of the term she'd addressed the King with.

"Tell that to everyone," Uther grumbled, saying nothing against the address.

She shrugged, "You choose to appear that way."

"It is a façade easily used," he said tiredly.

Sighing, she sat on the right armrest of this throne and leaned back, letting him lean on her.

"I'd forgotten on Arthur's birthday when he was announced as Crown Prince…it was also the anniversary of your wife's death. I'd…been busy with the wraith and then I'd forgotten completely after. I'm sorry."

"It is alright. With Tristan's wraith and the events after, I had actually forgotten for once. It was a relief."

"What do you usually do on that day?"

"Pretend to be normal for Arthur's sake during the day, and then get drunk and wallow in my misery at night."

"Do you want –"

"No," he interrupted sharply. He rubbed a hand down his face. "It is better for me to face reality than to allow myself to lie to myself. It is enough that I allowed it once."

"I'm sorry. I thought you would need the gesture."

Uther winced, "I do. But it is better not to get too used to it."

Merlin nodded, "I apologize for suggesting it then. I'm assuming you remember that night?"

The King averted his eyes. "I remember all of it. And _I_ apologize for my behavior that night. My actions were inexcusable, and I regret propositioning you like that the most."

"Forgiven and forgotten. I'll have to go back to Arthur now, but I just needed to warn you again about the unicorn. If I have anything I need to tell you, I'll come back."

"Yes, yes. Return to Arthur. Please him, won't you? He seems to always be agitated nowadays," Uther said, and she wasn't sure if she was imagining the guarded tone hidden.

She huffed, "Your son is more like you than you think."

"Perhaps that is true. But I imagine he is a branch of me rather than a replica. You're more like me than _you_ think."

"But I'm not a replica."

"Not yet you aren't."

She looked at him uncertainly, but he just smiled mysteriously.

* * *

The morning bore bad news. Uther and Arthur rode out, but Merlin already knew something had happened by the troubled look he sent her before they left. And then she heard the news around the castle. Camelot's entire grain crop had died overnight. She'd confronted Gaius who had no idea what could have caused such a thing, but was reluctant to point to sorcery so quickly.

It seemed sorcery was the answer to everything. It was getting to be very tiresome.

Grimacing, Merlin sat in her room for the rest of the day, brooding and wishing Arthur and Uther would come back already. The rest of that day passed by slowly, and wanting something comforting, she snuck into Uther's room. She refused to go to Arthur's, knowing he'd hold it over her and make another attempt to make her give in to him.

At least, in Uther's room, he'd shut up. Maybe…Bloody Pendragons…

She snuggled onto the plush bed, and wondered if she could convince Uther to get her one. It was so nice and soft, unlike the hard bed she used every day. Half-asleep, she didn't even notice Uther come into his room, staring in surprise at her curled up form.

"Now what do we have here?" he smirked, laughing softly.

Tossing his cape onto a chair, he sat on his bed, ignoring her as he untied his boots and shoved them off. Unworried, he changed into more comfortable clothes and then settled in right next to her on the bed. He snickered quietly.

"Comfy?"

She mumbled something unintelligibly.

"Mmhm," he answered back.

"Can I have your bed?" Merlin mumbled more clearly.

Uther rolled his eyes, knowing she was too deep in sleep and oddly sleep-talking. "Sure."

"M'gonna kick you out then. It's my bed now."

"Okay."

"…Don't mean that. Sorry. Sleep."

"It's fine, Merlin. And _you _go on and sleep, child. I'll wake you in the morning…" Uther said amusedly, fondness leaking into his tone.

"Uhkay."

"Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story?" he asked in all seriousness, not a hint of mocking.

"That would be nice," she mumbled.

He settled himself more comfortably and then combed his hand through her hair, petting her head as he began talking.

"Once upon a time, there was a foolish King. But before he was a King, he was a bright and naïve Prince who fell in love with a beautiful Princess. The Princess, too, fell in love with the Prince and they got married. Soon, he became the King and she was his Queen. They lived happily ever after, and had everything. Except one most important thing, that both of them wanted above all. A child. They tried again and again, but they could not have either a daughter or a son. And so, the King went to his friend and together they met a beautiful Sorceress, who hid her wicked smiles and cunning knowledge, and helped them without telling the entire truth.

"The beautiful Sorceress granted them a child. But in exchange, the Queen lost her life and the newly-born son lost his mother and the King the love of his life. And so the King lost his naivety and the bright ideas and welcomes, filled with vengeance and grief. In his mourning, the King became foolish and after casting out the wicked Sorceress, took out his heartache on the rest of the wicked Sorceress' kind, not just banishing but executing those who practiced her craft. Blinded by his pain, he didn't realize the pain he'd cast on all else until it was too late.

"In the end, he was left to his misery, lonely and unhappy and most of all –clinging to what family he could claim. And quietly his anguish goes on, only tamed when he met another Sorceress…one who was so very like his wife…and yet so similar to the darkness festering in his own heart…"

He looked down blankly at Merlin, finding her completely asleep. He continued threading his hand through her hair and ignored the tears that started falling from his eyes.

"So...so very…lonely…I miss you, Ingraine," he whispered sorrowfully. "I'm so alone."

At those words, he felt slim arms wrap around his middle and he looked down again, seeing Merlin had latched onto him in her sleep.

He smiled tearfully, "Maybe not so alone."

Taking both arms, he hunched over and held her tight, crying still.

"You are the daughter that Ingraine and I could have had," he whispered.

* * *

Arthur frowned as he leaned outside his father's room, having nudged the doors open a little. When he'd found out Merlin wasn't in her room and had not gone near his rooms, he'd reluctantly trekked to his father's rooms and was dismayed to know she was in there. He heard the two of them talking and noticed the familiar camaraderie, even in her sleep. He'd left disgruntled, after Merlin had said 'Uhkay', unwilling to stand by any longer.

His father had implied there was some sort of relationship between Merlin and he, but now was proof staring Arthur in the face. Just how close were they? And how long had it been going on? Even more, did Merlin reciprocate his father's feelings?

Unbidden, an image of his father kissing Merlin in his rooms crept into his mind and Arthur growled, knocking over the table in his room. He took a couple breaths to calm himself down, but his blood was boiling in jealousy.

Over the past few days, his mind had been going on overdrive. He thought back to all the times Merlin had been acting weird or had to disappear. He had no doubt that his father was involved somehow.

He would keep his mouth shut, but he wouldn't keep his mind idle. And all of those things he'd thought of before, little and big things he'd noticed but pushed aside or dismissed…Well, he really couldn't afford to do that now, especially when the secrets were pushed into his face and he couldn't ignore them anymore.

Damn it, he'd _noticed_ Merlin unusually around his father so many times. And how his father called on Merlin so much.

But he'd never thought anything of it! Purposefully choosing to make himself ignorant? He saw the evidence, why didn't he ever make himself put things together? He could've figured it out a long time ago, but he just…chose _not_ to.

He'd seen things, but he'd never even made any real excuses for them. Just decided he was overanalyzing things or being paranoid.

Arthur wanted, no _needed_ Merlin to comfort him right now.

When morning came, he still hadn't done anything but stay in his room. But he wasn't not doing anything. He was reorganizing his thoughts and memories. He'd get to the bottom of everything, with or without that promise he made to his father.

* * *

Merlin yawned and tried to stretch, finding her movements restricted. She saw Uther's arms still around her and was leaning on her heavily. Trying to wiggle out of his hold, she blinked when he just tightened his hold. Pouting, she managed to get an arm out and knock lightly on his head.

"Wakey, wakey, sleepy-head!" she sing-songed, having slept well and being in a good mood.

Her smile faltered when she noticed the dried tear tracks on his face, but tried to regain her cheer, thinking he could use it. Getting a mischievous grin, her hand reached out and picked a spot, fingers stretching before wiggling.

She began tickling the King.

At first, nothing happened. Then, as he began waking up more, small laughs escaped from his mouth. Small laughs gave way to chuckling, and then he began sniggering. Soon enough, he was laughing out loud, unwilling to open his eyes but trying to escape from her. His arms unwound from her, but she followed. When he fell on his back, she continued her attack, straddling him and claiming victory.

"Get off me, brat, or I'll put you to the stocks!" he barked out through his laughter.

"Uh huh," she said, not taking him seriously.

He growled and actually _tackled_ her off of him and she landed backwards with an 'oomph!' He was poised above her, ready to start tickling and she closed her eyes and shrieked as her arms shot up and she crossed them in front of her in a fruitless effort to protect herself.

When nothing happened, she warily opened her eyes to see Uther grinning at her.

"I'll wait to take my revenge. That way, you'll always be unsure and just waiting for me to pay you back."

"Royal ass. Just like your son," she scowled at him.

Uther just shook his head, going back to leaning against the headboard. He patted the spot next to him, and she shuffled closer, plopping herself at the spot she had occupied earlier.

"Thank you…for trying to cheer me up."

"You mean I didn't succeed?" she pouted.

"No…No, you did," he smiled and ruffled her hair. "I have dinner with Morgana every day. Would you do me the honor of having breakfast every morn?"

She stared at him.

"Well…if you'd rather not…"

Merlin shook her head vehemently. "No, it's fine. I have to start working for Arthur when dawn breaks, so I'll sneak out sometime after and have breakfast with you."

"I'll wake before then. We can have breakfast before you work."

She stared at him again, but he only looked back calmly at her.

"Okay…I, uh, have to go see to Arthur," she gave him a hesitant smile.

"Why don't we have a quick breakfast before then?" and he held up an apple he'd gotten from the fruit bowl on the dresser beside him.

She laughed and he joined her.

* * *

"Do you prefer my father?"

The question came from out of nowhere. Merlin's head snapped towards Arthur, who was watching her with an unreadable look that worried her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you prefer _him_ over me?" Arthur growled, standing up abruptly and stalking towards her.

She took a nervous step back.

She was backed into that blasted wardrobe again, with his arms going up and boxing her in as they surrounded her on either side of her head. He leaned in close, his breath fanning over her face.

"You spend an awful lot of time with –" he cut himself off, snapping his jaw shut and she saw it clench angrily. His eyes were boring intensely into her, and she shivered.

"_Look the other way, Arthur."_

'_**Fine**__, Father,'_ he growled in his head, and slammed his lips against hers.

Hearing her moan into his mouth, he confidently prodded his tongue against her mouth, which opened uncertainly, and he surely touched his tongue against hers. As he kissed her, he slid his hands down the wood of the wardrobe, stopping when he felt his wrists hit against her waist. Clasping his hands on her waist, he grasped it and pulled her up, letting her wrap her legs around his waist, and carrying her to his bed.

Gently setting her on it, he climbed on top of her, never moving away once. He trailed his hands firmly down her sides, reaching the hem of her shirt and sliding his hands underneath it. He felt her shiver at his touch and smirked against her mouth.

Licking a trail down her neck, her neckerchief having fallen off sometime before, he nipped lightly at her collarbone. He sucked at the area, rewarded with Merlin grasping tightly to his shoulders and whimpering.

"Stop. Please stop."

He forced himself to, and he leaned back on his knees, staring incredulously at her.

"Why on earth would you want to stop?"

She was breathing heavily and looked thoroughly kissed.

"We can't…we can't go that far, Arthur," she frowned at him, the effect ruined by the redness of her face and the glazed eyes.

"And why not?"

She wavered, blushing. "We shouldn't. And…and…well, I'm not…ready…and…" everything else was mumbled and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Surely you're not a virgin. You're beautiful and plenty of men would have approached you before. What of your friend Will?"

Merlin glared at him heatedly, "I told you. He was just a friend. We were never like that."

"And my father?"

She faltered, staring at him in confusion. "What?"

"Never mind," he muttered, placing his hands on either side of her and leaning closer, setting his head on her chest and just listening to her breathe unevenly, the pounding of her heart sounding against his ear.

The question, _'Did my father take you to his bed?' _burned on his lips.

* * *

The curse died on her lips as she stared at the sand filling the bucket.

There was no water.

"Can I borrow this bucket, Gwen?" Merlin asked stoically.

Gwen answered 'yes' uncertainly. Angrily filling the bucket with sand, she took it and carried it back to the castle.

Sitting with a blank face in Arthur's rooms, Merlin unhappily twirled a finger lazily on the surface of the sand. When Arthur entered, it was to this sight he was greeted with.

He rolled his eyes, "What are you unhappy about now? Still mourning the unicorn? You haven't stopped bugging me about it since it happened. Or maybe you're upset that I kissed you? Or _maybe_, you're upset we didn't get to finish what we'd started?" He looked at her suggestively, leaning back languidly against his door.

Merlin smiled unnervingly. "Some water, Sire?"

She held up a cup and he looked at her in confusion. Walking over and grabbing the cup, he held it to his lips and tried to take a sip, only to spit out sand.

"What the –?! Merlin, what is this? Is this some kind of joke?"

"There's no water. All. That. Is. Left. IS SAND!" she roared, glaring at him, and giving him the oddest sense that he was facing his father instead of the woman he wanted.

"I don't understand," Arthur backpedaled, shaking his head and letting his hair fly in every direction as he tried to escape her accusing gaze.

"The crops are all ruined. Sand has replaced our water. Arthur, can you not see it? Is it not all linked to the unicorn's death?" she pleaded, softening only slightly.

But he hardened and this time he was the one glaring, but he came out desperate in the end. "No. It can't be. All of this is not my fault. _Please don't tell me you think it is_."

"Not intentionally, Arthur. You would never wish ill upon your people, but you hadn't known the consequences of slaying such a magical creature. There must be a link, Arthur. When we, and I will not abandon you, when _we_ look for that link, then can we solve this and save Camelot."

"But…"

"LOOK AT ME!" she screamed at him and he quickly did as she'd ordered, surprised by the strength behind her words and the vehemence. She scrutinized him closely, before suddenly turning gentle. Crossing over to him, she hugged him around his middle, leaning into his body with warmth. She looked up at him with soft eyes and he stared mesmerized.

Brushing her lips against his, she spoke tenderly. "Arthur, I would never lie to you, you know that right? You must trust me on this. When have I ever led you astray?"

"Never," he murmured, closing his eyes and leaning in to smell her scent. He took a deep breath.

"Will you at least listen and be careful? Will you take me seriously?"

"Of course."

"That's all I ask," she whispered against him and kissed him again.

"Will you love me forever?" he asked solemnly, leaning more into her.

"I will never leave you."

She could not love him, for that wasn't her destiny, but she told the truth. She would stay by his side for all of eternity.

* * *

"You manipulated my son."

"Yes."

Uther chuckled lightly, filling his goblet with wine. "So now you've convinced him to listen to you as I have come to. Well, without the kisses and soft touches."

Merlin blushed. "I…I was only…"

"_Relax_. You act as if I would disapprove of your affections with my son."

"You should," she muttered.

She continued trying to change the sand back into water, with no success. She muttered a curse, jumping slightly in her seat when Uther's hands landed heavily on her shoulders.

"Perhaps you are just frustrated or too stressed out?" he suggested as he started massaging her shoulders.

She snorted, glaring at the bucket of sand. "I'm carrying this thing all over the place, trying to make it water. It is as I've told Gaius. This is a magic far beyond my own."

"For now at least. I have no doubt that soon you'll be stronger than anyone. Even Nimueh and this sorcery," he told her proudly, and as much as it was a little weird for her to hear such bold praise coming from him, she couldn't help feeling happy.

"I should go to Arthur now," Merlin said contentedly, rolling her neck.

"I think…you should focus more on him than of the unicorn ordeal. He has been acting agitated and upset these past few days. Will you do something about him?" Uther frowned, looking concentrated on something.

"I'll try. He is…actually being rather odd these days. I can't put my finger on it," Merlin echoed his frown.

A dark look passed Uther's face, before it blanked out, which he hadn't done in awhile. "He hasn't…said anything suspicious, has he?"

"No, not really. I don't think so. Should I look out for anything?"

"No, I'm sure it's nothing. I've told Arthur to announce a curfew and that anyone caught looting supplies will be executed. Don't get caught, will you? I know you will ignore me and continue to try to fix things, so you'll be out tonight, but just don't get caught."

She shrugged, "Who else is going to save Camelot? Don't tell me to leave it to you or Arthur. We'll be doomed."

Uther shrugged as well. "I'm not the one with the magical powers. I would probably poof things all right if I did."

"You can't _poof_ things fixed. Magic doesn't work like that."

"If it was me, yeah it would."

"You arrogant man."

"Of course."

* * *

She was careful that night, but not that careful. She got careless actually. And that's how Arthur caught her.

"Now what do we have here," he cornered her, smirking. "Merlin, you're out of curfew. Whatever should I do?"

"Come on, Arthur. Just let me go to Gaius' and I'll go straight to sleep. I hadn't meant to stay out so late."

"What are you willing to do for me, if I were to…keep my mouth shut?"

She winced, "You wouldn't want me killed though, right?"

His smirk turned dark. "I'm sure you would be spared. You're very precious after all."

"What –what do you want?" she mentally berated herself for letting her voice tremble.

"Sleep with me for now on. My bed is yours."

Merlin gaped at him, eyes widening and speechless.

He sighed, "Fine. On the sixth and seventh days of the week, sleep in my bed. But you must wear what I pick out for you."

Grudgingly, she agreed to it and she dreaded the smug look on Arthur's face. His smug look turned pinched as he saw someone.

"Merlin, after me. There's someone out of curfew. Go that way, and I'll go this way. We'll meet in the middle," he ordered her, already on the move.

She sighed and followed his orders.

The mysterious figure in white, and a sinking feeling in her gut told her that it was the same one she'd glimpsed before at the unicorn's death, kept evading them several times. When Arthur and Merlin finally stopped for a second, Arthur cursing heavily, the mysterious figure in white revealed himself as an old man.

"I am Anhora, Keeper of the Unicorns," he intoned solemnly.

"You're the sorcerer who's plaguing Camelot, aren't you?" Arthur accused, glaring angrily at the man.

Anhora shook his head. "No. You have unleashed a horrible curse upon Camelot when you'd slayed the unicorn. It was done by you and so only you can undo the curse. You will be tested and if you fail any of the tests, Camelot will be damned for all eternity."

Arthur snarled and tried to tackle Anhora, but the man disappeared, leaving Arthur to land heavily onto the ground and for Merlin to stare stoically at his fallen form. She leaned back casually against the wall, and observed him coolly.

"Well, that was smart," she remarked candidly.

"Shut up," Arthur growled, throwing her a wounded look.

She rolled her eyes, "Don't be such a baby, Arthur. We found our link. Now we just need to be ready and prepare for the tests."

"He could've been lying," he muttered.

Merlin sighed, pushing herself off of the wall and moving closer to him, kneeling by his side. She placed a hand on his back in comfort and leaned closer, setting her forehead against his temple.

"Arthur, you said you'd trust me, right? That you would listen to me? Listen to me now."

She moved to be in front of him, tilting his downtrodden face up from facing the ground to face her. Looking at him with imploring eyes and a tender gaze, she kissed him.

"Will you trust my word that I believe him? Will you try to at least be careful in the coming days and be prepared to see everything as a test you must pass?"

"Fine. Because of you," Arthur murmured, leaning into her and wrapping his arms around her.

"Don't be upset, Arthur. You had no idea about the unicorn," she said softly.

"You called out to me in warning and I ignored you. I should have listened to you. I should always listen to you."

"You'll listen to me now, won't you? And I will never lead you astray."

"I trust your word above all," Arthur told her and she was starting to realize the weight of power she was gaining in her hands.

She was becoming very worried and panicked.

* * *

"So you definitely got my son used to taking your word and advice first? Good practice for the future, I'd say," Uther commented.

Merlin had just finished reporting about the events of the night, talking about Arthur's deal with her to Anhora's appearance.

"It's not practice," she muttered. "And shouldn't you be more upset about Arthur making me sleep in his bed?"

"Why should I be?"

Merlin refused to gape. "Because it's inappropriate! We are not married and I am not his mistress! I'm just his servant!"

Uther shrugged, "I'm not upset at all, Merlin. In fact, I encourage it. Sleep in his bed. It is not like you are sleeping with _him_, not that I would protest that either."

"How can you say that?! I am manipulating your son! I'm using his feelings to make him more susceptible to my suggestions! Have I not betrayed your trust…and Arthur's?" she ended in a whisper, hot tears pouring down her face and to the floor as she looked down in shame.

He was near her in no time, pulling her close into an embrace. She cried into his clothing and he stayed silent, only stroking her hair softly.

"You are only looking out for us and for Camelot. As is your right as future High Sorceress…and Arthur's future Queen."

She pulled away from him, angrily wiping her tears away. "Don't say such ridiculous things. You know that will never happen. Regardless of what I or _he_ wants."

She missed the self-satisfied smile that crossed his face for a moment before he looked solemn once more.

He didn't say, _'But if __**I**__ want it, then it __**will**__ come true.'_

"Go to my bed and sleep, Merlin. You have long days ahead of you."

She hesitated, looking at him anxiously.

"Are you that bothered by sleeping in another man's bed?" he asked exasperatedly. "It is not like you have not slept here before."

"It was barely five minutes the first time, before I ran away with the Druid child, and the second time I didn't know you were here," she frowned at him.

"Excuses, excuses. Why are you so bothered? You weren't _really_ all that bothered the other times."

Merlin's words came out jumbled and she was definitely flustered. "It's just –you know, unicorn –legends – and then –unicorn legends –legends of unicorns –legends saying this –and unicorns with people –"

A grin started forming on Uther's face, "You're a virgin."

"Be quiet!" she hissed, face turning red.

"You saw the unicorn, the unicorn reminded you of the legends, and the legends made you dreadfully aware of the fact you were a virgin. And now every little touch, action, or word has you anxious and wary."

"I can't help it!" she glared. "I never really thought about it before, but then the unicorn came in and now I'm just antsy about things!"

Uther chortled, ignoring her outrage huffing.

"Just come to bed, Merlin," he shook his head, calming down.

She growled and glared at him, stomping to the bed and childishly throwing herself on it. She sighed in happiness straight after.

"Mm, I love this bed. Can I have one like it?"

"Maybe. Why don't you just have Arthur's? He's offering it to you."

She elbowed him sharply. "Shut up!"

Uther turned onto his side to face the other way from her, still snickering to himself.

* * *

Even through her irritation, she slept wonderfully. So she ate a rather bare breakfast with Uther in a good mood, again despite the lack of substantial food, talking about different scenarios that Arthur could be tested and how they should prepare for it. Uther would still occasionally snicker at her _other_ dilemma, even to the point of something like this being said:

"They don't discuss these things in Ealdor! _It's just not talked about!_"

"This is Camelot, my dear. We're a bit more…callous and crude than a modest village."

The rest of the day went by normally, and it was at night that she and Arthur were prepared to scout out anything suspicious. She and Uther had discussed the grain store and the possibility of it being a target. Discussing her suspicions with Arthur, she and him decided to stake out the grain store that night.

But they found a farmer trying to steal food for his family instead.

Happily, she saw Arthur let the farmer go and even gave the bag of grain to the farmer to have.

"Your kindness will bring its own reward," the farmer said as a parting shot.

Excitedly, Merlin gave Arthur a proud grin and hugged him tightly.

"Now that…was very kingly," she smiled joyfully.

He smiled back dazed.

If doing things like that made Merlin happy with him and made her do things like that to him, then maybe he should keep doing similar things…

The next day, water was returned and both she and Arthur agreed that last night had been a test and that Arthur had passed. Agreeing also to go to the forest to search out Anhora and hopefully the next test, the two of them set out and ended up splitting up.

Arthur was faced against that same farmer, who seemed to actually be a thief.

But he frowned and thought again to Merlin and her words to him. He had to be careful. This could be a test…

The thief began taunting him about his father, but he merely shrugged it off.

"Neither your taunting or lies will bother me," Arthur said determinedly.

"And if I were to take your woman as well?" the thief gave a crooked teeth smile.

Arthur snarled and whipped out his sword, a red haze clouding his vision. He swung his sword over and over at the thief, who was surprisingly nimble and kept dodging his attacks.

"She is a rather pretty thing, isn't she? I wouldn't mind taking her to my tent to show her how a real man can give her a good time."

With a roar, Arthur thrust his sword into the man's chest, and suddenly he disappeared. Surprised, Arthur stumbled back and dropped his sword, wincing when he saw Anhora appear in the thief's place.

"You have proven that you will kill a man over words, easily angered over what is nothing more than words. For that, Camelot will suffer a worse fate."

Anhora disappeared and Arthur fell back, sitting morosely on the ground. The sound of light footsteps hurrying towards him caused him to avert his eyes and hide the shame on his face. When Merlin came into view, he refused to look at her.

"You failed."

Borrowing his face into his hands, his crying did all the answering.

He was surprised when Merlin came near him and actually gathered him into her arms, holding him tight and holding his head to her bosom.

"You did your best."

"My best wasn't enough," Arthur said bitterly.

"It doesn't matter. It wasn't enough now but you must keep hope and keep trying. We'll fix this, Arthur."

He looked up at her with resolute eyes, "I promise I won't disappoint you next time."

"I know you won't. Now come on."

They were in Camelot soon enough, and seeing Arthur head towards the throne room, she decided she could report to Uther later. But Arthur was on a mission.

"Father," he stared stoically at him.

Uther just smiled seemingly pleasantly at his son, saying nothing.

"Are you taking Merlin to your bed?"

Uther's eyebrows shot up into his hairline and his jaw dropped.

"_What?!_"

"You heard me," Arthur glared.

The elder Pendragon's face blanked, but his mind was going a hundred miles a minute. Then he smirked.

"Yes, Arthur. I am."

Arthur gave an enraged scream, grabbing a chair near him and throwing it at Uther. Well, at least he knew throwing chairs was a Pendragon trait as well. Now he's just waiting for Merlin to pick it up and make it one of her own habits…

"I'm going to come back in fifteen minutes, Father. And I'm going to tell you exactly what I think."

Arthur turned sharply on his heel and angrily burst through the door. As expected, Merlin slipped in the room straight after.

"He's angry. I assume he told you about tonight?"

Uther frowned, "No. We had a…discussion about something else. What happened?"

Merlin recounted everything that happened and Uther shook his head.

"Do what you can. For all our sakes," Uther sighed.

"I-I'm sorry. Magic isn't all that bad," she winced.

He nodded, "I know. You're proof of that."

Happy, she smiled brightly.

Uther hesitated, but went on. "Merlin…I will be acting strangely with you for now on. Don't question it or me. Just…play along."

Merlin looked confused, but she nodded. Hearing Arthur's footsteps, Merlin was about to slip away but Uther grabbed a hold of her. In a surprise move, Uther pulled her forward harshly and pushed his mouth against hers as Arthur entered the room.

She stiffened up, but didn't move away. The forewarning was nice, but something a bit more specific would've been better. And Arthur…

The door slammed shut and Uther moved away, with Merlin staring at him stoically.

"Be prepared for the backlash tomorrow," was all she said and she left without another word.

Uther breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

All of the food rations had rotted. His son refusing to give the order to stop distributing food to the people, Uther reluctantly gave it himself. He was reassured by the comforting look and words Merlin gave him in passing.

"_I don't like it. But I see why you feel the need to."_

She understood and that was all he needed. He didn't need to explain himself to anyone, because the one person who would always understand and who he expected to –would.

But she disappeared straight after. Wondering where she was, he morosely paced around his chambers, in no mood to meet or talk with anyone that wasn't Merlin. Her comfort was very much needed.

"You'll wear a hole into your floor."

He whirled around and smiled at her in relief.

"Merlin, I was worried. Where were you?"

"I went back to the forest to find Anhora and plead for Arthur to have another chance. Arthur will have to go to the Labyrinth of Gedref. He fails this test and there will be no hope. Camelot will be destroyed by the curse."

Uther swallowed nervously, nodding.

"Go then. Get Arthur and hopefully we'll have Camelot back to normal by night."

He looked on in worry as she nodded and walked off to find Arthur.

She saw him in his room, laying just as morosely as she'd found Uther. She crawled into bed and lay next to him, holding onto him.

"I want to help them. I really do. This is all my fault and I have no idea what to do to make it all better."

Merlin sighed against his neck, "You have another chance. Anhora says you must go to the Labyrinth of Gedref, where you will face another test. Be careful in this one…it will be your last chance…and Camelot's."

"I know," but the steel and confidence was back in Arthur's tone and she smiled against his skin.

And the last push…

"I'm here for you, Arthur. I promise. You can have me for as long as you are Prince."

The last incentive was in place.

* * *

She followed after Arthur, despite his demands for her not to, and ended up getting lost in the Labyrinth while looking for him. Which led to her getting caught by Anhora and his trap. Did it mean much that she thought the trap was meant for Arthur…?

So her hands tied and her fastened to a chair, she awaited Arthur's arrival.

He came, blinking in surprise at her presence, before he became indignant.

"I thought I told you not to come here, Merlin."

She shrugged as much as she could with her hands and body tied. When the roots tying her up retracted, she experimentally flicked her wrists and moved her arms.

"There are two goblets…" Anhora explained the rules, Merlin's part of it, and what must be done.

"What kind of ridiculous test is that? What does that prove?" Arthur glowered at him.

"What it proves is for you to decide. If you pass the test, the curse will be lifted," was all that Anhora offered to tell them.

"Let's think about this. What if I drink from my goblet first?" Merlin tried to insist without sounding too much like she was.

"If it's poisoned, you'll die," Arthur answered shortly.

"If it's not, you'll have to drink from yours and you die. There must be a way round it," Merlin huffed.

"It's perfectly simple. One of us has to die. We have to find a way to determine which goblet has the poison. Then I'll drink it," Arthur frowned, staring her down.

"I will be the one to drink it," she said firmly.

"This is my doing. I'm drinking it," Arthur was just as stubborn.

"It's more important that you live. You're the future King. I'm just a servant."

"This is no time to be a hero, Merlin. It really doesn't suit you," Arthur's tone darkened considerably, showing her a side of him that she'd only glimpsed before.

"What if I drink from mine first and if that's not poisoned, I will then drink yours," Merlin tried to placate him, hiding her surprise.

"He said each of us is only allowed to drink from a single goblet," Arthur's tone turned dry. He paused and looked at her for a moment. "I had no idea you were so keen to die for me," he finished softly.

"Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself," Merlin snapped at him, but her eyes looked more desperate and pleading.

Merlin sighed, but she got an idea. "I've got it! We pour all the liquid into one goblet and then we can be sure it's poisoned. Then all the liquid can be drunk, and from a single goblet."

Arthur smirked, "You never cease to surprise me. You are a lot smarter than you look."

She smirked back, "Is that actually a compliment?"

"I'm glad you're here, Merlin," he smiled gently, changing gears suddenly on her before catching her off guard when he leaned forward, kissing her slowly. He pulled away, leaving her dazed and unable to realize he'd taken her goblet and poured its contents into his.

"T-That's not fair," her eyes widened. "You kissed me and distracted me."

He gave her a sad, quirk of his lips. "I know. I love you."

And without giving her time or warning, he'd drunk all of the contents of his goblet, falling over and to the ground.

She stumbled over to him, crying and her mind all over the place.

"Y-you killed him. How could you? I was supposed to protect him," she sobbed.

"He is not dead. He has merely consumed a sleeping draught. He will come round shortly," Anhora informed her reassuringly.

"What?" she blinked a couple times, a look of confusion on her face, though she still looked tearful.

"A unicorn is pure of heart. If you kill one, you must make amends by proving that you also are pure of heart. Arthur was willing to sacrifice his life to save yours. He has proven what is truly in his heart. The curse will be lifted."

"Oh," she said numbly.

"I must apologize. When Arthur was tested a second time, he failed his test. But it was…unfair to use you against him."

"Huh?"

"The thief was using taunts about you against Arthur. Normally, any other man, killing over such simple taunts would be unforgivable. But I understand that Arthur is a different case. He loves you with all his heart, and with him, you are the most important thing in his life. For him, those _taunts_ were unforgivable and so he acted. A man can be in love and go to those lengths, and his actions will still be unforgivable. Your Prince isn't just in love, dear Sorceress…he is that and more, to the point of his devotion equals that of your future self's."

Merlin stared at him in wariness and alarm.

"Perhaps you should give into him. Truly give into him."

* * *

Everything was back to normal, thank goodness. Uther shot her a grateful look as he and Arthur walked away together, talking about the events and no doubt the King was congratulating Arthur on killing the sorcerer or something like that.

Arthur returned back to her with the unicorn's horn and they headed back into the forest, burying the horn. Then they saw the unicorn grazing near them, slowly trodding closer and they could hear Anhora's voice in the air talking to them.

"When he who kills a unicorn proves himself to be pure of heart, the unicorn will live again…"

The unicorn came close to them and they stared at it in awe. It avoided Arthur, but was drawn to Merlin who panicked. She stumbled back, falling to the ground. The unicorn treaded nearer, moving to lie down and lay its head on her lap, slowly falling asleep.

Merlin blushed heavily as a realizing look dawned on Arthur's face, and then a calculating and slightly lecherous look planted itself firmly on his face.

"You know, legends say only a virgin maiden may tame a unicorn. This thankfully solves my question of if you really were one. I guess my short-term goal for now consists of robbing you of your virginity," he said as he leaned against a tree and watched her gleefully.

Merlin gaped stupidly at him, staring incredulously.

Arthur, meanwhile, was wondering why his father had lied to him and said he was sleeping with Merlin. More than that, he was remembering the talk he had with his father when he'd asked for the unicorn horn back.

"_Hard to believe this thing can cause so much trouble. So the sorcerer used this to channel his curse?"_

"_Yes," Arthur answered without batting an eyelash, accepting the unicorn horn calmly._

"_I see. You know… Arthur…you seem uneasy. And I hear from Merlin you've been acting strangely."_

"_I haven't gone back on my promise," Arthur growled, irritated with more of the proof of Merlin spending time with his father and the reminder of his promise._

"_I know that. I'm merely…warning you."_

"_No need," Arthur repressed a sneer._

_Uther smirked, switching warnings on him. "I'm just telling you, Arthur. If you don't hurry up and take Merlin for your own…I might just keep her all to myself." _

_He turned his back on his father and left without another word, missing the widening smirk on Uther's face._

Started 7/23/09 –Completed 8/10/09

(oOo): Oh, your name picture is so cute! And thanks!

Anonamouse: Your name is cute too! I don't find it cheesy at all! More will keep coming and I'm glad the story is becoming as epic as people say. The plot twists are all fun to write and come up with, and Arthur has plenty up his sleeve. Arthur _is_ hot, and I love blonds so that makes him even better. Glad that you keep rereading, and sorry about all the mistakes. I usually proofread, but it was like 2-3 am in the morning and I'm still up trying to tie loose ends for the chapter and get it up already that I just skimmed read it. Plus, I can't catch everything myself, so that sucks as well. But thanks for reading and catching them anyway! PS. You wrote Oz and I immediately thought of Buffy's Oz…that's so bad…

random reviewer: Uther gets to double scheme. He's in overtime, I tell you. Suspicions run rampant. Everything from magic to more speculations on Uther and Merlin's relationship and especially their original deal about Arthur et al. I wanna see Merlin's fit too…in fact, I might even make an omake (or several) about it. And with how close they're getting, yeah, Merlin is definitely losing her wariness. But not all of it for sure, because they're close she also knows Uther's personality and how he is so she can't really drop her guard. Another long chapter here, and Arthur is going Alpha every which way, especially when his father is concerned. I'm glad I'm not losing my touch and that chapters are as enjoyable as I hope they can be.


	12. Peace Be With You

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S1.12 ("To Kill the King") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

A/n: If anyone doesn't know yet, Merlin returns to the UK on September 19th. The trailer is out now.

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Twelve: Peace Be With You_

This was something Edwin had only taught her the basic basic of. It was not an art he was strong in, nor was he confident of using. But it was something that she wanted to perfect in time.

The bare aspects of necromancy, and in time she'll learn the stronger works of the art.

First things first, what she's been working on and had finally perfected. Bringing a dead flower to full bloom once again. When the dead rose in her hand became healthy and full of life once more, she silently cheered. For the next level…

Moving onto bugs, which had helped Edwin with his all remedy cure, she wanted to hurry with it so that she could finally get on to contacting the dead.

For the next week, she worked on the bugs, hoping she could get it quickly so she could move onto animals. The first was always the hardest, which was why she took so long to get the flower to life again, but once that was mastered the next steps were supposedly easier.

And as the month was passing her by and she was working on this, she'd forgotten that she'd sort of pushed Uther and Arthur to the side. Not that that wasn't a good thing. She needed a break from those two.

Finally, near the end of the month, she'd gotten to the point where she could call on spirits. The first one was one she grudgingly admitted she needed.

"Well, well. How _is_ my dear murderess? I see you've managed to learn some necromancy, likely from my help." Edwin's sarcastic voice greeted her, his corporeal form gray and translucent.

"Cut it out. I need to make a deal with you," Merlin spat out, glaring daggers at the ghost.

"Oh?" Edwin raised a gray eyebrow. "And why should I help _you_?"

"I'll…make a deal. If you help me when I ask for your help, I will allow you free reign of your senses while you are here."

Edwin tapped his jaw, looking at her calculatingly but with an amused smirk. "I would need my magic if I were to help you with certain things."

"You have to swear an oath first."

Edwin laughed raucously, "That's ancient magic, girl. Where'd you learn about that stuff?"

She didn't say anything, glaring at him still.

"Alright, alright. I swear on my magic, let it be binding, that I will not or ever harm Merlin Ambrosius. So shall I swear by the roots of Gaia, and my life is forfeit if I dare rescind my word in any way with the intent of harm."

Her glare hardened and he sighed in exasperation.

"And nor shall I leave outside the vicinity of Merlin Ambrosius' presence, seek harm upon the persons of Uther and Arthur Pendragon and that of Camelot, and want vengeance upon the court physician Gaius. Happy now, my dear?" Edwin sneered.

"I'm not your 'dear'," Merlin said resentfully.

"That's right. Your _Uther's_ and _Arthur's_," he kept sneering.

"Just shut up or else I won't even bother," Merlin muttered.

Edwin smirked, but did as she ordered.

"Am I needed or are you just testing?" he drawled.

"Testing," she snapped and waved her hand, banishing his spirit.

She growled and went to do her duties finally.

But remembering the two she had to obey, she thought back to both of their behavior since the unicorn incident. Uther had been acting strangely with her, as he'd warned, and she'd taken to being wary but accepting towards him. Thank goodness he hadn't kissed her again though. _That_ had been awkward. Arthur, in the meanwhile, was as aggressive as ever. Except somehow worse. Still, he had his moments where he was actually…_sweet_.

She hated those moments.

Those were the moments where he was hardest to resist, and almost always he was close to getting what he wanted. So she always gave in half-way to satisfy him, before she ran off again. Between Uther and Arthur, she was sure she was going to die young. And not just from the danger the two were always in, but from the stress of dealing with them.

And speaking of Uther and Arthur, there they were again, facing off. Uther was smugly smirking at his son and Arthur was glaring heatedly at his father. Why did it feel like she was staring at a dragon and a tiger about to eat each other?

…

Damn Edwin's Chinese astrology notes.

"Am I interrupting something?" she only barely managed to not sound exasperated or sarcastic.

Uther's smirk just became the perfect image of a cat eating a canary.

"No, of course not, Merlin. Come closer. Arthur and I were just talking about you," Uther said, already getting up and coming towards her.

He grabbed her arm gently, leading her to where he and Arthur were, and leaning closer to her than was necessary. She blinked and looked between the two, seeing the hidden but absolute amusement in Uther's eyes and the fury that was starting to grow in Arthur's.

This…was not good.

Maybe she should go back to practicing her magic.

Uther firmly sat her in the chair next to him, which she should note there was never a chair next to his throne so he must've planted it there, keeping a hold of her hand with both of his and one stroking hers tenderly.

She sweatdropped.

Arthur visibly held back a snarl, turning on his heel sharply to leave.

"Tend to me in my room later, Merlin," he snapped at her before striding away angrily.

"You're trying to get him jealous for some reason," Merlin said in a bland and exasperated voice, immediately confronting Uther.

He gave her an innocent look, "Why on earth would you think that?"

She gave him a look, "One, you can stop stroking my hand now. Two, you're entirely too amused for your own good and you are purposely riling up your son. There is a reason for that and you're not sharing."

"Okay, maybe I am purposely provoking my son and trying to make him jealous. I just find it amusing."

"That…is an utter lie, Uther. You may find it all amusing, but there's some deeper reason to all this. It's in your nature to have some hidden motive up your sleeve."

Uther sighed dramatically, "Alright, perhaps I do have something else in mind other than my amusement in why I'm pushing Arthur."

She looked at him questioningly, but he didn't say anything.

"Well?"

Uther shrugged, "Other than finding amusement in it, I am trying to teach Arthur to keep a level head. He's too easily riled up, as shown in the unicorn tests you told me about. He thinks too much with his emotions and not enough with his head. Or at least not the right head."

He smirked at her. She only blinked at him, slight confusion showing in her eyes. He coughed embarrassedly and a red blush stained his cheeks.

"Never mind. You wouldn't know what I'm talking about."

"Right…" Merlin looked at him weirdly, not really catching on to what he was talking about.

She'd left soon after, but she still had a feeling that Uther had lied to her. Or at least, hadn't given her the main truth.

That night, she woke up abruptly, feeling disconcerted and upset. She was startled when her eyes adjusted in the darkness and Uther was sitting silently on her bed, staring at the wall.

"Uther, have I told you as a female I need personal space?" she snarked sleepily.

"Sorcery was committed this night."

Immediately, she straightened up in bed and was quickly awake.

"Look, Uther, you would know me by –"

He cut her off, "I know. I was not accusing you. I just…Tom the Blacksmith will be charged with treason for consorting with a dangerous and well-known group of sorcerers. He was supplying them with weapons."

"Uther, how can you be sure –"

"Don't you defy me as well, Merlin!" Uther restrained himself from shouting just barely. "I already have one child against me and another resenting me for all that he is. Don't you too abandon me."

Merlin stared at him in amazement, and tried to put aside yet another reference to her as one of his.

"No. No, I won't. I'm merely…requesting a fair trial, Uther."

"Of course I will give him fair trial, even if Morgana does not believe me. You believe me, don't you?" Uther's voice was tinged heavily in bitterness.

"Yes."

Startled, he finally glanced at her.

"…Thank you. At least someone believes in me still."

"I woke up feeling strong magic at work. Was that what happened tonight with Tom and the sorcerers?" Merlin asked, bringing up what was making her feel anxious.

Uther looked thoughtful, "I'm not sure. We did not catch exactly what was going on. But we're positive they were sorcerers and Tom was accepting payment from them."

"They are the very same? Description and all?" Merlin made sure.

"Yes. The exact nature of magic that went on is not known, but it happened. Tom himself confirmed it."

"Do you mind me going to where it happened and investigating? I just have a bad feeling of what happened there."

"Go on. If it will help," Uther was morose again.

"I will take care of things, if I must," Merlin sighed.

"Morgana said she will never forgive me if I kill Tom. Please, Merlin. Find proof of his innocence. I don't want to lose her. For all her disagreeableness with me and the distance growing between us, I do consider her a daughter and would not wish her gone from my side."

Merlin nodded solemnly. But she couldn't help the odd thought passing her mind, wishing he'd tell her he'd considered her a daughter. She was part of the family, she understood that, but…as what?

It just…would be nice to hear him say it straight to her. He never said it to her, but…_did_ he consider her a daughter?

* * *

Gwen had told her what her father had told her and Gaius had deduced it had been the work of alchemy, specifically the Maidstone. She'd searched for it in Edwin's notes, finding it was also called the Philosopher's Stone. It had the ability to transform base metals into gold and even able to produce the elixir of life. Unable to finish reading his notes because she was being called on by Uther, using the same little boy he seemed to always use to call her with, she headed out.

In the darkening day, she walked out of the room she was in and was going to cross the courtyard, when she saw the wagon being wheeled out and the body hidden underneath the white cloth. She grew cold and felt like throwing up when she heard Gwen's unmistakable scream.

She ran to the throne room.

Uther sat there miserably, his jaw clenching and unclenching and leaning on his hand. Her body moved on automatic, but she didn't try to stop herself. She cocked her fist back and punched him, and he flew off his throne to land on the hard cobblestone. He looked at her wide-eyed and guilty, but accepting.

"Morgana told me the trial would just be a formality and that you'd planned to kill Tom anyway. I believed in _you_," she hissed out.

"H-he tried to escape."

"Because Morgana helped him!"

"I know! Deep down inside, of course I knew that! How else would the blacksmith have gotten the key? In my anger at her betrayal and my belief he was guilty because he tried to escape, I lashed out and ordered he be executed on sight. I'm sorry…What was I to do? Who was I to punish? Morgana or the blacksmith? I acted out blindly and gave the order without thought."

Merlin frowned heavily at him, her hand aching but wanting to strike him again. She ignored the slight pang of jealousy of how much he cared for the Lady Morgana.

"You idiot man. Your temper will be the death of you," she said simply, kneeling down anyway and giving him her hand.

Helping him out, she looked away unhappily from the hopeful man.

"What…what are you…"

"You will not have anyone behind you this time," she said quietly, forcing herself to stare him in the eyes. "I am angry at you…and disappointed. But you won't have anyone else after this, and I will not leave your side. Even if Morgana forgives you after this, she will never forget."

"She won't," he agreed resignedly.

The doors banged opened, and a furious Morgana stormed through, heading straight for Uther.

"You have blood on your hands, Uther Pendragon!" she hissed out, eyes narrowed and anger emanating from every pore. "Blood that will never wash off!"

"May I remind you that you are speaking to your King?" Uther spat back out with disdain, all the hard work Merlin put into calming him out the window.

"May I remind you that a King is wise and just?" Morgana mocked tearfully and rebelliously. "You are neither. You rule only with the sword."

"You know nothing of what it means to be a King. The fate of Camelot rests in my hands. It's my responsibility to protect the people of this land from its enemies."

"Then the kingdom is doomed," Morgana sneered.

Uther looked at her, hiding his pain but clearly showing his disbelief. Merlin, glad that she seemed to be forgotten and ignored, tried slinking back into the shadows, only for Uther to snap his head towards her quickly and plead silently with his eyes. She gave up and stayed where she was, watching the proceedings with eyes full of dread.

"One by one, you make enemies of us all," she looked back defiantly, eyes still tearing up.

"You speak treason, Morgana," Uther surprisingly kept his voice leveled.

"Only a madman hears the truth as treason."

This time, there was no hiding the pure anger and rage in Uther, though the pain was masked still very well. Only Merlin caught that, but only because she knew Uther too well not to have.

"Take care, child, or I'll have you restrained," the King threatened.

"You just try," Morgana challenged arrogantly, disgust clear on her face.

Merlin watched in disbelief as Uther called the guards in to take Morgana to the dungeons.

"You will remain there until you have learned your lesson," Uther declared angrily.

"Then release me because I've already learned it. That you care not for me –or anyone but yourself! That you're driven mad by power. That you're a _tyrant_."

Morgana was taken away and Merlin stood there, undecided on how she should react to the whole thing.

"Well? Any more criticism to throw my way?" Uther's bitter voice rang out in the suddenly silent room, and she looked at him, seeing his downed head and resentful and pained face.

"No. Well, other than that you once again lashed out in anger," she remarked candidly, unwilling to put more bite into her words.

He gave a small smile before he grimaced and sat down heavily on the stone floor.

"You would choose to side with her than myself," Uther stated without looking at her.

"My heart and mind tell me to side with her. I _choose_ to side with you," she said firmly. "Everything in me agrees somewhat with Morgana, but at the same time it is as I've always told you. I understand. I see why you feel this way, and I understand your reasoning. I know you and I know why you do the things you do. And most of all, I will not question you."

"Thank you," he muttered.

"I have to go see Morgana."

"Why?" he didn't bother to hide the lingering pain and bitterness.

"I may be behind you, but she is still dear to me. I will not leave her behind, because of my loyalty to you and Arthur," Merlin sighed.

"Fine," he acknowledged reluctantly. "But come back after."

"Tonight. I'll steal your bed. I have to check on Gwen and then look on Arthur right now. He probably must be wondering where I am…"

She left him and headed straight to Morgana's cell, watching the chained womanly cautiously but sadly.

"Morgana," she called out and the Lady's head immediately looked to her. Her eyes brightened and a smile grew on her face, forcing Merlin to hide the grimace that almost shown on her face.

"Merlin! Thank goodness!" Morgana cried out in relief.

Reluctantly, Merlin approached Morgana in the cell, letting the door bang shut behind her.

"Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to see you! Uther's at it again! First he's killed Gwen's father and now he's shut me up in here, only because I speak truth and he does not wish to hear it!"

When she was close enough to her, Morgana quickly grabbed onto Merlin and held onto her, crying softly into the sorceress' shirt. Merlin awkwardly wrapped her slim arms around the King's ward.

"I hear what you are saying, Morgana. But you spoke out of turn," Merlin surprisingly said.

Morgana blinked up at her in confusion, "W-What?"

"You speak truth, but you cannot speak so boldly. Not to the King. You have grown so comfortably in your station and around them; they have given you so much familiarity. You have grown used to it, so much that you do not think to censor yourself any longer. I speak only as a servant, Morgana. Servants are of a lowly station and we always shut our mouths, and speak not a word against the King.

"You may be of high rank, milady, but _he_ is still the King and above you. You forget that in your familiarity."

"I-I don't like it," she mumbled unhappily.

"You don't have to like it," Merlin sighed. "Look at me, milady. The King is the King. We are all his subjects, even Arthur. No matter our relationship to the King, we speak to him as he likes. Remember that, milady. I don't wish to speak things that may upset you, but only wish for you to understand the position you are in beyond personal feelings. The King is always right, no matter if he is actually wrong, and it is disrespectful and treasonous to speak out against him –even if you are his ward…or his son. I just want you to know that. I don't want you to be chained again."

"Don't call me 'milady', Merlin," Morgana frowned, averting her face as she still clung to Merlin.

"I'm sorry. Habits."

Morgana gave her a huge surprise, leaning closer and kissing her square on the mouth. Merlin stiffened up, wondering if she could discreetly back away.

She didn't know what was more disturbing and awkward. Being kissed by Uther or being kissed by Morgana.

Merlin gently pushed Morgana away, stepping back a few steps.

"I have to tend to Arthur now," she hid her twitches.

Morgana sighed, but nodded.

Merlin retreated as fast as she could without being obvious.

* * *

She'd gone straight to check on Gwen, seeing her distraught friend crying quietly at the table. And as awkward as it was with Morgana, she sat with Gwen and allowed her friend to sob and clutch onto her.

Arthur interrupted her tending to Gwen, looking morosely at the two.

"Forgive me…I am only here to inform Guinevere that she and her job are safe. I am sorry for your father," he apologized, and Merlin felt a pang of fondness that she ignored. Still, for him to come here and say that…and mean it…

"Thank you, milord. It means much to me. I must leave now," Gwen offered a teary smile, looking back with grateful and loving eyes to Merlin, before leaving in a hurry and hiding her face.

"That was very kind of you," Merlin couldn't resist saying, letting herself smile in affection at Arthur.

He smiled sadly at her, "I meant it…and she was your friend. And Tom should not have been killed either. Guinevere is a good person, as was her father. Neither of them deserved this."

Merlin felt light-hearted at that and allowed herself to hug him gently.

"That said…I see that perhaps you do prefer women and that is why you avoid my advances," he said jokingly just as she started to pull away, though a hint of jealousy was still in his voice.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"I saw Morgana kiss you earlier. And I know how she and Guinevere feel about you. If you preferred women, you should've just told me instead of making up excuses –not that that would have stopped me, I just would have tried harder," Arthur teased, but he couldn't help the jealousy he knew was unfounded.

"Shut up," she glowered at him.

"Sorry, sorry. I know you don't like them like that either, just…I can't help myself. I'll feel jealous of whoever you're with, no matter what or whom," he said sheepishly, giving her a hesitant smile.

Damn. This was another one of Arthur's sweet moments, and she was feeling fond resignation starting to settle in. She didn't want to give in, but with Arthur being so sweet as he was with Gwen and herself, and the adorableness he was showing now with his pouting, she felt herself wanting to give in. In fact, she felt like she was.

"Just because I am reluctant to give in to you does not mean that you aren't what I want," she revealed reluctantly.

And she turned away and kept silent, even though he started to gaze hopefully at her, hiding her frustrated and miserable thoughts.

By the time she had headed to Uther's, her misery had fully encompassed her.

"You look as if my cat ate your canary," he remarked candidly, smiling tiredly.

She looked blankly at him, "You don't have a cat."

"Are you alright?" He became more worried, seeing her disturbed state.

She ignored him and slipped in beside him, facing away from him on her side and squeezing her eyes tightly.

"Merlin…?"

"Your son makes me want to give in so badly," she murmured, trying to stop herself from crying.

She could feel the tears that wanted to force their way out, but she refused adamantly.

A calloused hand threaded through her hair gently.

"Then why don't you?" Uther asked softly.

"Because I can't," and she refused to explain either.

"What would it take…for you to give in then? Close to death?"

"I'm not afraid of dying for him or you," she muttered into the pillow, as she turned her head and muffled her face into it.

"Touching, but I'm not talking about your death. If Arthur was close to death…or if I was…would you not allow yourself to care for us without reservation?"

"Now that's cold, Uther. Planning something like that just so I would give in to you Pendragons is just bad taste," she finally turned over and stuck her tongue out at him, feeling cheered up.

But he was still solemn. "I was being serious. And I wouldn't orchestrate such a thing. You're right, it would be tasteless. But if something like that happened, would you not allow yourself then?"

She looked hesitant, "I don't know…I guess…"

"Then promise me that if something happens to either myself or Arthur, you will allow yourself that chance."

"You're so morbid," she muttered and didn't look at him.

"Promise."

"…I promise."

Uther sighed but felt more relieved, looking it too.

Merlin was still hesitant. "Will you…will you release Morgana from the dungeons?"

Uther stiffened, staring incredulously at her. "And why would I do that? I care for her deeply, as you have, but she disrespected myself and my authority. I cannot let it pass."

"Please, Uther," she bit her lip. "In exchange, I won't use magic for a week. Just please, do this for me."

He pursed his lips, "Would you not use magic for a month for this?"

She winced, "Yes."

He sighed in aggravation, but there was a hint of relief in it, hinting that he was glad Merlin had forced his hand in this. He had not wanted to punish Morgana, but he couldn't help his reaction.

"Very well."

She opened her mouth to say the oath, but he placed a hand on it.

"No, Merlin. If you are willing to cut off your magic for this, then I will. For you. You don't have to take the oath."

"Okay. Thank you," she murmured.

The next day, Arthur was sent to the dungeons to release Morgana on his father's orders, who had also ordered him to say that she was only being released by Arthur's request. And that Arthur had supposedly done this by promising Uther that Morgana wouldn't challenge his authority ever again. It was strange, but Arthur pushed it aside. For now.

Because he had a feeling that Merlin had something to do with his father's decision.

"Come to do your father's bidding? Is it off with my head already?" Morgana spat out at him, glaring daggers.

He frowned, "No. I'm here to release you…I told my father that you wouldn't challenge his authority again. You must tread carefully."

Morgana's face had a flash of discomfort as well as gratefulness, before she wiped it clean of any emotion other than mock and dislike. Her discontent was easily seen.

She sauntered up to him, smirking almost in a sneering fashion and he stopped himself from retorting about her ridiculousness.

"I see the way you look at him," Morgana's smirk widened.

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. Who? His father?

"Merlin's not interested," she continued slyly, her face coy and definitely sneering by then. "Merlin doesn't swing the other way."

Arthur blinked and didn't know whether he should scowl in jealousy and displeasure at her words, or laugh at the irony that was building up by seconds. This was probably what Uther and Merlin did together; laugh at the idiocies of the people they were weaving webs around. Or shake their heads at them all. They probably did that about him before he found out. Maybe they still did.

Well, he was part of their game now and he could play just as well. He was a fast learner anyhow.

He brightly grinned at Morgana, confusing her, before leaning closer and invading her space.

"I wouldn't say that, Morgana. I'm quite aware that Merlin doesn't swing the other way. Hence, my advantage."

And he turned on his heel and left her behind to find her own way out, feeling very smug with himself.

* * *

That night, having avoided Uther and Arthur, Merlin felt it again. The feeling of strong magic at work. Frowning to herself, she traipsed outside and wandered around, her eyes widening when she caught sight of Morgana fleeing Camelot into the woods.

What happened next she couldn't believe.

Morgana made a bargain with the enemy, the sorcerer Tauren accepting _her_ offer. And in the end, the plot would have Uther dead.

It was unanticipated. It was unacceptable. She felt a mixture of shock and betrayal. Kind and caring Morgana wanted Uther dead? It was surprising and yet to be honest, it really…wasn't. For awhile now, Morgana and Uther had been growing apart and resentment and ill feelings had been increasing between the two. But how could Morgana? She was Merlin's beautiful and loving friend…it felt wrong and while Merlin felt betrayed on Uther's behalf, she was also feeling the betrayal of finding out Morgana was capable of such a thing.

In the end, Merlin was going to end up a monster in the future…she didn't want to have Morgana on the same path.

A colder part of her agreed with Morgana and said _let Uther die_.

It was the Merlin of the future. It was the Merlin that knew that if Uther was out of the way, magic could freely run rampant through the land, without fear and persecution. It was the Merlin that wanted to be free of Uther's manipulation. For despite their mounting closeness, Merlin was still just Uther's pawn and under his rule.

If Uther was dead, the land would be happier, magic would be free from its constraints, and she would be free to use magic and from Uther's control.

She shook her head and paced angrily in an empty room in the castle. She hadn't wanted to be found, so she found just a random place to hide out in.

Summoning Edwin's spirit, she silently stood and glared at him. He raised an eyebrow back and didn't say anything either. But she stayed quiet and so he gave a sigh of exasperation and gave in.

"What's bothered you so, my lovely sorceress?" Edwin gestured 'go on' with his hand extravagantly.

"You hated Uther. Why?" she frowned and didn't say anything more.

His mood darkened, and similarly so did the look on his face.

With a snarl, he explained his hatred. "My parents. When the court sorceress Nimueh fled, I was only a boy. Soon after she fled, began the Great Purge. Uther ordered anyone who practiced magic to be executed if they did not repent their ways. My parents refused and were killed for it."

Of course, he left out that they were using dark magic. It was the thought that counted, right?

Her frown deepened. Another thing against Uther. And he hadn't told her that Nimueh had been the court sorceress. What else was he keeping from her?

"Would you still want him dead?"

"Yes. I'd let him die, no matter how his death comes about," Edwin spat out.

"Follow close to me and don't say a word," she snapped at him, and headed down to the caverns.

Both of Edwin's eyebrows raised up at the sight of the Great Dragon hovering above its rock, wings flapping and smoke billowing from its nostril.

"They were holding a dragon here. A _dragon_," Edwin muttered to himself, looking away and giving the impression of giving Merlin privacy to talk to the dragon.

"There is a conspiracy to kill the King. What should I do?" she growled out, unhappy with the fact practically everyone (including a part of herself) was telling her to just let Uther die. She felt helpless and without hope.

"Let him die, of course," the Great Dragon's voice rumbled from its chest, as it settled down uncaringly on its rock and laid its head on its arms. The dragon closed its eyes, seemingly ignoring them.

"Of course you would say that. Why wouldn't you say anything else? You would want him dead, as you've always wished."

She turned on her heel and stomped away, Edwin at her heels and suddenly very interested in the topic at hand.

"I had no idea another murder plot was on its way once again for Uther. Why, now I demand you let him die. Just think about it. Uther dead, you can practically be Queen and use magic freely."

"Shut up," she glared at him before continuing her way.

"Oh, but I'm just offering my humble opinion. The world would be better off without Uther Pendragon."

She steamed quietly, gritting her teeth harshly.

"If it was the other way around, the King wouldn't hesitate for your death. You should get rid of him before he gets rid of you."

She cut off his connection to the physical plane violently and soon enough she was alone once more, heading to her room upset.

"M-Merlin?"

She frowned and turned around, seeing the little messenger boy Uther always used to call on her.

"What is it, Jacob?" she asked tiredly.

"H-His Majesty wishes to see you."

She nodded and turned to head in the other direction from where she had been originally heading.

When she entered his room, she stared stoically at the quiet man. He didn't say anything, didn't look anything but tired. His emotions were completely wiped off his face.

"Are you going to lie down?" he asked, voice trembling.

His voice didn't match his face.

"Uther, what's wrong?" she asked softly, not letting anything seep into her voice.

"Just lie down," he mumbled, eyes seemingly deadened.

Against her will, she began to feel worried. She complied reluctantly, lying down next to him. He was still sort of sitting up and staring forward, but she could _feel_ him relax as soon as she settled down on her back.

"I ordered a bed like this for you," he mumbled.

Surprised and confused, Merlin was going to keep quiet but changed her mind.

"That's nice…Uther," she sat up half-way, using her elbow to lean on and staring straight at him. "Please tell me what's going on. You look a wreck. Frankly, you're worrying me."

Even more surprising than his behavior, was when he turned to her and practically fell on her, making her fall back onto her back. He was clutching onto her and shaking, but more than that –_he was crying_.

She couldn't hear him and he wouldn't make a sound. But she could feel the tears seeping into her shirt.

And then she remembered that she'd promised him her loyalty for as long as he was King, and she'd _promised_ to be by his side during this whole thing.

So she whispered comforting words all night and held him, letting him cry on her.

The next day, they just lay on the bed the entire time. Uther was depressed, quiet, and at times he started crying again. And Merlin was going over her thoughts over and over again, feeling guilty at times and retrospective at others.

"We haven't eaten all day," she remarked without energy.

"Are you hungry? I'll call someone up," he muttered, still not getting up and away from her.

"…This is your time with Morgana. It's dinner, Uther. If there was any time she would attempt to talk to you, it would be now in the dining hall."

"I don't want to speak to her."

"Uther, please."

Grudgingly, he moved away but didn't start to get ready.

"You have to go eat. Go on now," she encouraged him.

"Come with me," he looked over his shoulder to her.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"I'll go there on the condition you join me."

She hesitated, but seeing that he didn't seem like he was going to give up, she nodded.

"You could wear one of my old outfits when I was a prince," he said, immediately getting up and fishing for it through his wardrobe. Once he had it, he threw it at her, where she had no choice but to catch it.

"Uther, should I really be wearing something so extravagant? I'm supposed to be just a servant. Which is also odd to make me dine with you."

Uther shrugged half-heartedly, "Then I will say that I dine with who I choose to, and I won't dine with someone looking like a vagabond. Go change, I will grab my clothing and go to the adjoining bathroom."

When both were finished, she was dressed up in his old clothing and he came out to see her. A small smirk tugged at his lips, but he hid it.

"You look like a pretty boy."

She glowered at him, but he just laughed.

"You looked pretty with your servant clothing before, but it's more obvious now with you wearing a prince's outfit. Now, men usually cut their hair, but the ones who actually have long hair (most like rich, snobby noblemen) tie it back, usually with a leather thong," he took a brush and began brushing her hair back, tying it at the base of her neck with the leather tie he'd found.

"Come. Suddenly, I'm very hungry," he said cheerfully, ignoring her glare as he led the way.

Midway through their meal, Morgana walked through the doors solemnly, though Merlin could see the quick flash of anger that ran through her eyes before it disappeared. But the surprise at seeing Merlin was easier to see, though Morgana composed herself quickly.

In that second, she felt torn again, wanting to reach out to Morgana and offer comfort. And then she looked back at Uther and remembered all of that day and the night before, and steeled herself, sitting calmly by Uther's side.

"I didn't expect to see you. Do you need to say something?" Uther asked, slightly coldly.

"I came to apologize, milord," Morgana's eyes were already tearing up, but she could tell these were more angry and bitter tears.

"Good."

A quick look of indignation was on Morgana's face before she wiped it clean.

"I didn't mean to rile you," the apology hardly seemed real, as Merlin could see that already Morgana was working herself up and was starting to sound upset. "I thought only of Gwen. Poor girl's all alone now."

"It was not my intention to hurt your maid," Uther stiffened up, a little guilt creeping in as well as remorse.

"I know. But now she suffers…and I know how she suffers."

"Morgana –" Uther was cut off, when Morgana's first emotional outburst for then shocked Merlin. But she had already been told of this, back when Edwin had first come into their lives…and when the sorcerer had still been alive.

"I only meant, I know how it is like to lose a father," obvious blame and resentment could be heard clearly towards Uther.

"That was a terrible day. Your father was a great friend. I had no part in his death," Uther gritted out painfully, though Merlin could tell that there _was_ a feeling of self-blame.

"You sent him into battle. You promised him reinforcements and then gave him none. You sent him to his death," Morgana accused, her emotions heightening and her face starting to show how she really felt then.

"That is not true. It was never my intention –" Uther tried to get out, showing only to Merlin's eyes that some part of him believed Morgana's words.

"But it happened. And it keeps on happening."

"Morgana…" Uther looked at her in shock and pain.

"I'm sorry, milord," Morgana threw out the apology, turning quickly and fleeing, with tears starting to come down her face.

Uther stared after her.

Merlin took one more bite of the pie and set down her spoon, getting up and starting to walk away.

"M-Merlin?" Uther gasped out, and she felt just a little guilty about leaving him like this.

"Gaius is going to start getting suspicious if I keep sleeping in your bed. My room's open if you need me," she tossed over her shoulder, calmly walking away, although she felt anything but calm.

When she entered Gaius' chambers, her uncle was shifting through his books.

"Gaius, what are you looking for?" Merlin raised an eyebrow at her grandfatherly figure.

"I misplaced some notes –what are you wearing, Merlin?" Gaius asked, cutting himself off as soon as he looked up and caught sight of her.

"Arthur's playing dress up. Wanted to humiliate me by wanting to know how I'd look in his clothing and then have me walk around in it and have people staring at me. He was bored," she easily lied, using a nonchalant voice.

"Be careful on things like that. Don't want Arthur to find out that you're actually a female," Gaius warned, and Merlin's mouth twitched.

Ah, irony loved her.

"Right. Anyway, do you think Uther's a good King?" she asked bluntly from out of nowhere, startling Gaius.

"Uh…well, yes. Sometimes…Uther's methods are a bit unsavory, but he's brought peace to Camelot and has always looked after its people."

"So he's…good for the kingdom."

Gaius studied her closely.

"Despite the King's failings, he's brought peace and prosperity to this land. Merlin…is there something you're not telling me?"

Merlin shook her head. "No. Not now, Gaius. You have to trust me on this. I have to work this out myself."

And there was one more person she needed to talk to before she could make up her mind.

"I do trust you, Merlin. Whatever it is, I trust you will make the right decision."

Merlin nodded at him and then disappeared into her room.

Gaius sighed. "But where on earth have I seen that outfit before? It is very familiar…"

As Merlin finished getting ready for bed and had already slipped in, Gaius dead asleep by then, there was a soft knock on her door and then it opened slowly, admitting Uther's uncharacteristically defeated figure.

"Your bed looks uncomfortable," he commented without bite.

"But it's a bed. Are you coming or not?"

He made his way to lay next to her, back to being the quiet Uther from that day and the night before.

"Morgana is planning your death," Merlin murmured reluctantly.

"…I know," his voice was muffled as he crushed his face to her pillow. "I think I had the idea in my head all along. I think I've always known some part of her resented me for her father's death and…wished deep down for my own."

Merlin threaded her hand through his hair.

"Everything will turn out fine. I promise."

"Everyone hates me. It won't be fine."

"I don't hate you," Merlin surprised herself by saying, realizing it as truth. "And it's not your job to be liked. Your job is to protect the kingdom. And that's what you have been and trying to do. Most of your methods are right, sometimes you go too far."

"Why not let Arthur be King now? He will be a far better King than I," Uther stated miserably.

She tugged on his hair a little painfully.

"He's not ready and he's not prepared for that kind of responsibility right now. He's brave, but he's no experience or judgment. Don't toss your son to the wolves just yet. He's not ready to face them," she remarked in good humor at the last part.

He didn't answer back. He'd already fallen asleep.

A tick developed at her temple, and the hand that was threading through his hair jerked away and was about to hit him on his head when she reluctantly pulled it to a stop. As much as she'd like to hit him…he's had a rough few days and was probably very tired. He deserved the rest.

"Enjoy your respite," she muttered. "I'll get you when you're awake, jerk."

* * *

When dawn broke, Uther was the one waking her up.

"Breakfast and then you have to work for Arthur, remember?" he reminded her.

He was promptly socked painfully on his shoulder.

"That was for falling asleep when I was talking to you, trying to make you feel better," she said without even opening her eyes.

"Ow," he huffed, but didn't get angry.

He tugged her out of bed and let her get ready before dragging her out, taking care not to wake Gaius, and hurrying her to the kitchens.

"We're not exactly going to eat here, are we? What if the other servants see us?" she asked anxiously.

"Exactly. It's risky so it's fun. Besides, I need to feel light-hearted…especially to prepare me for later."

She stopped him just as they were only a couple steps away from the door to the kitchens.

"What's later?"

He looked away. "I'm…going to try to talk to Morgana. I need to."

She looked at him for awhile, before changing suddenly, pushing herself forward and passed Uther with gusto.

Cheerfully, she said, "I wonder what do they have to eat? Mm, I hope they have leftover pie from last night. That was good."

And he appreciated the front she put up for him, and the silent support.

Merlin did it resignedly, though it had more to do with the part she finally acknowledged the jealousy that even distant and not there, Morgana seemed still especially close to Uther.

When she saw Uther again later, as she was cleaning the stocks and he surprisingly deigned it important enough that he'd travel there to talk to her, she saw the morose look on his face.

"How'd it go?" she kept her voice bright and cheery.

"She's planning my death."

Her bright façade fell flat and she stared at him in shock.

Uther leaned against the stable door, burying his face into his leather-clad hands.

"I apologized for handling the situation with Tom insensitively, and outwardly she seemed accepting and forgiving. She wants us to visit her father's grave as the sun is setting, as an attempt to bury the past. But I know in my heart that she was still plotting, and I know she still wishes for my death. In fact, even as we speak, I know she has snuck out to tell that sorcerer of the plan."

"You won't…go, right?"

Uther sighed, "I must. Even if it means my death, I cannot just continue to let Morgana feel this way. I have to do something."

"Don't go," Merlin pleaded, suddenly feeling desperate and distraught, lunging forward and clutching onto his sleeve. "You'll be killed!"

"I know."

He turned and started to leave, but he paused.

"It would make me feel better if you were to come with me then. I would feel better knowing someone who cared was with me while I died."

Frustrated, she glared fiercely at him. "Don't say stupid crap like that, old man."

To make her feel better, he changed his words. "It would make me feel better if you were to accompany me, so I know that –even with you in the shadows –I could feel your support and know you would be there to prevent my death."

"Fine," she snapped at him.

She stomped right past him, knowing she had a limited time to get ready.

After a quick bathe and change of clothing, she went to an empty room in the castle and summoned Edwin.

"I was wondering when you'd summon me again," he drawled, though he winced. "That hurts, you know. Being cut off from this world so abruptly. I may not have a physical body, but I can still feel pain."

She frowned at him, ignoring his comments.

"You have four hours to teach me how to perfect that technique you were working on before you died."

He briefly looked surprised but intrigued, before a cruel smile played across his lips.

"Okay, fine. Let the torture begin."

Sore and in pain, several hours later, she sought out Gwen for the final judgment. Looking fondly at Merlin and already blushing at the sight of her, Gwen welcomed her to her home.

"I won't be long, Gwen. I just need to ask you something. If…something were to happen to Uther…you wouldn't care, would you?"

Gwen grimaced but steely nodded. "I wish I wouldn't wish such a horrible thing to anyone, but I have no feelings of attachment to the King. It would not make me sad if his death were to happen."

"Would you let it happen though? Would you _kill_ him?"

Horror-struck, Gwen vehemently shook her head. "Goodness, no! Either way, that would be murder. I couldn't in good conscious cause someone's death, indirectly of directly by my hands –even if that person was Uther Pendragon."

Merlin sighed in relief and smiled softly at her friend, surprising Gwen by leaning forward and wrapping her fellow servant in a hug.

"Everything will be alright, Gwen. You'll see. Your father is happy wherever he is, and he'll always look after you from the heavens," she murmured into Gwen's ear, unknowingly causing the poor girl to turn a really bright red and for her to heat up from the words and the contact.

Instinctively, Gwen just launched herself forward and awkwardly kissed Merlin.

The sorceress sighed to herself in a different way. First Uther, then Morgana, and now Gwen. Why did she have the luck of being kissed by all the strangest of partners?

She wasn't even going to include Arthur in that.

Standing there stiffly, but letting Gwen get her kiss (both Uther and Morgana did, Gwen might as well –it would be just another strange kiss she received from yet another person she didn't feel that way about), she thought it was only fair anyway. Uther and Morgana got to kiss her, Gwen should be able to also. Gwen shouldn't be left out, seeing as she also had feelings for Merlin just like Morgana did. No favoritism, no siree…

Damn, she must be messed up from Edwin's training. Her mind was all over the place.

Fleeing at first chance, she got ready to follow Uther and Morgana. While the two went on horseback to the gravesite, she grimaced and ran after them.

They were ahead and already at the gravesite, and she was farther back, only just closing the distance. Letting magic temporarily replenish her energy and glad for its help in boosting her stamina and speed, she caught sight of the dead Camelot knights. So it had begun already.

Running up the upward climb, she saw the gaggle of sorcerers hanging around each other, starting to get into position and Tauren nowhere in sight. They saw her and each threw a spell at her, causing her to nimbly dodge each one. They surrounded her, readying for another attack and watching her warily. Pushing down her anxiety and worry, she used the full-body lightning flicker she had been working on with Edwin.

Her entire body crackled with lightning, pulsating once before she let go of the electrical energy into an electromagnetic pulse that erupted from her body and outwardly to the surrounding sorcerers, crashing into them and electrifying them on the spot.

She didn't realize (although she really should have) that there were going to be repercussions.

"Shit."

She blacked out.

* * *

After sending an unsure and shaken Morgana ahead and pilfering through Tauren's clothes for the Maidstone that Merlin had told him about, Uther hurried off to where he had glimpsed the flash of _lightning_ of all things, right when Tauren had been struck down. In the middle of a circle of smoking bodies, Merlin lay sprawled on her back unconscious.

Scooping her up worriedly into his arms, he ran to where he left his horse, wincing at the dead bodies of the knights and seeing Morgana's horse was already gone. He urged his horse into a fast-paced sprint, and soon enough they were in the castle.

Gaius would still be awake by now…He looked down at the dead to the world girl in his arms and decided that wasn't going to be an issue. Merlin needed help.

Immediately heading to Gaius' quarters, he was surprised to see his physician still not there. Setting her down on her bed, he tried to wake her up. Her eyelids fluttered open and she groaned.

"What happened?" he questioned, not bothering to hide his worry.

Merlin groaned again, "Several things. I used too much energy beforehand, learning the technique I was going to use to take out all the sorcerers and on magically enhancing myself on the way to the gravesite, and the fact I didn't have a good enough grasp or barely any control over the technique."

"What exactly _was_ that technique you used?" Uther frowned at her.

"Can I explain that later? I-I can't move," she said with a wince.

"What do you mean you can't move?!"

"I mean I'm paralyzed."

"I know that! I meant how?!"

"I told you I didn't have enough control and not enough energy. My lack of control must've let the electrical currents I harnessed from my bioelectricity to run wildly around my body, and damaged a lot of skin, muscles, and most importantly nerves. My nerve endings that should allow me to move have basically been short-circuited. Having not enough energy helped make my lack of control worse."

"Don't lecture me!" Uther started panicking. "I don't even understand half the words you were using! Just tell me what to do to make it better."

"Edwin predicted that this could potentially happen when he was developing this technique, so he developed an antidote to counteract the problem. He had always had just enough energy to brew it himself, using magic to help him since he couldn't move, but I don't have any energy at all to help me do that…so you'd…have to help me…make it," she ended nervously.

"Okay, fine. Just tell me what to do already," he snapped at her, worry overtaking his senses.

Surprised, she nodded. "Uther, I'm asking you to do magic for me. You know that, right?"

"You need my help. So I'll help," Uther explained simply.

"Over there. Edwin's notes are there. I'll tell you where everything is in Gaius' storage."

So Uther set to work, trying to make the potion. He finished it perfectly on the first try.

While Merlin lay there, waiting for the time to pass and for it to slowly work, he sat next to her quietly, holding her hand while in thought.

"Morgana and I have made up."

"That's good."

"…For the time being," Uther said quietly. "I love Morgana and am happy things have ended the way they did for her and I today…but I fear that I must look behind my back when it comes to her for now on. I love her closely, but I do not think I can trust her. And deep inside, I feel that she might once again feel the need to plot against me or even seek my death once more. Even if it's unfounded, I cannot erase the feelings that have been seeded and grown in my heart and mind."

"Oh, Uther…"

"You seem to be the only one I can trust and rely on, not even Gaius, Arthur, or Morgana. And once upon a time, I would have immediately had you executed on the spot after learning what you are. I find the irony amusing and yet grim. But I don't regret it. I wouldn't trade Arthur for the world, and yet I remember how the entire kingdom wished for a boy so that the throne may have an heir…but Ingraine and I had secretly wished for a daughter. I'd wanted to protect and cherish my little girl, dote on her and be her protector.

"Morgana is like a daughter to me…but you…you _are_."

Merlin could already feel the embarrassing tears prickling at her eyes, and after feeling her body responding again, the first thing she did was throw herself at Uther and clutched onto him, crying into his shirt.

Started 8/29/09 –Completed 9/16/09

D: Merlin and Uther's relationship is very fun to write. It's a big part of the story, so I'm glad that it's being received well. Plus, it's different from their usual relationship in fandom or on TV.

BloodredCrimsonhands: I love genderbending fics, so I decided to genderbend Merlin since I loved the show. It's like an initiation rite for me when entering into the fandom. I have to do at least one genderbending fic for it. I'm glad you liked it enough to keep reading without pause. I do that too sometimes, though I haven't been reading lately. Just writing. I try to make it different, while staying close to the show. Uther, I think, is complex and there's more to him. And he's my favorite character. That might have a lot to do with, uh, Anthony Head being his actor. I came in with a biased attachment and favoritism. I feel sorry for Gwen too. Neither she nor Morgana have any clue that Merlin is really a woman, as you can see from this chapter.

random reviewer: Arthur is totally going Alpha. He's completely feeling threatened, even if it's unreasonable. Merlin will find out about that sooner or later, and Uther is going to be confronted. Might not be a good thing for him though…Arthur has some idea of his father and Merlin's manipulations, or at least from his father's side. His reactions will come in as everything is slowly revealed. Haven't quit. Just took a VERY long time to finish. Like this chapter. Mostly because the other ones were already on their way to be written, so they were able to be published quicker. I hadn't even started chapter 11 when I published 10. Glad that I haven't lost my touch. Now that there's three of them, yup, they will be a lot more fun and things will get more interesting.

princessfrankie: Sorry I couldn't reply via private messaging. You have it disabled. I'm glad you were surprised and not in a bad way about Merlin and Uther getting along. It's a main plot in here, so good thing it seems to be working out pretty well.


	13. L'Enchantment de Merlinus Ambrosius

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S1.13 ("Le Morte d'Arthur") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin…

A/n: Okay, I said this was going to come out sooner, but I just kept writing and writing. But at least I updated sooner than usual! And if you want to help me out, join the Merlin wiki and vote for my fic for the fanfic contest! Pwetty pwease? (h t t p : / / w w w . m e r l i n t v s h o w . c o m /)

Also, I've been thinking of a sequel (like super early on) and the idea for it is like in here. Please tell me in a review if it sounds like something you would be interested in reading or not.

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Thirteen: L'Enchantment de Merlinus Ambrosius_

"Do you always have to hunt?" Merlin asked annoyed.

"Of course. Being a hunter is in my blood. I hunt things. Like I hunt you," he purred out the last part, grinning teasingly at her.

Merlin glanced in panic behind them, seeing the knights lagging behind and talking to each other.

"Arthur, we're with people! What if they'd heard you?" she hissed at him, glaring fiercely.

Arthur glanced quickly behind him and then surprised her by practically tackling her to the side, and hid them behind a tree. Pressing up against her, his grin widened.

"If they do hear us, I wouldn't care."

He kissed her slowly and unhurriedly, but abruptly cut it off, grinning smugly as he darted around her and smoothly joined the group who had caught up by then. Merlin leaned against the tree, breathing heavily and cursing in her head.

Arthur really was going to be the death of her.

"What _is _that?!" one of the knights yelled.

She snapped back into reality and raced out from the tree, seeing a huge monstrous scaled creature with the body of a leopard and the head of the snake attacking the knights, one dead to the side.

And of all things for her to do, she bloody _trips_ on a stupid rock and falls flat on her face. Which meant she was easy prey for the monster, who snapped its jaws menacingly at her. Arthur grabbed her in a flash and had dragged her away before she could've been bitten. It was a very close call for her.

They retreated and reported back to Uther in Camelot.

"It is most probably a Questing Beast, milord," Gaius advised. "According to myths, it only appears before a time of great upheaval."

The warning was clear.

"Arthur, command your knights. You will ride out at dawn and hunt it down. It must be killed before it poses any danger to Camelot," Uther ordered, alarmed and wanting to avoid Gaius' warning eyes.

Merlin was supposed to be with Gaius then, so when Arthur left he looked back in worry at her before facing back forward and leaving without another look. She saw the slight shake in his body that said he had wanted to.

"The last time the Questing Beast appeared…it was just before Ingraine's death," Gaius said haltingly, and Merlin looked at him in surprise that he'd say such a thing so openly in front of her, when she was supposed to be ignorant of the situation and not have anything to do with it.

"Not now, Gaius," Uther hissed, lips curling into a snarl. "I don't want a reminder of that night. It will not happen again. And this is just a coincidence. The beast will be killed and life will go on in Camelot. Leave."

Gaius nodded deferentially and turned to leave, with Merlin following behind.

"Merlin," Uther halted her.

She stopped hesitantly, seeing Uther staring at her intensely and Gaius glancing between them with an unreadable gaze.

"Stay here a moment."

Gaius left and she stayed, and she was sure this was going to be hard to explain to her uncle.

"Uther, did you really need me right away? Asking for me in front of Gaius, it really makes things hard to explain. It's suspicious."

Uther's head was bowed and he was clutching his head tightly, his hands fisting into his hair. She could see the slight tremors of his shoulders, and immediately she knew he was crying or wanted to cry.

She strode quickly to his side and sat on the arm of his throne, gathering him into her arms.

"What's wrong?"

"Gaius is right. That Questing Beast appeared before Ingraine's death and now it has appeared again. Who else will be taken from me?" Uther asked hoarsely.

"I promise you, I will not let Arthur die. I won't," she promised him determinedly.

"But what if it isn't Arthur? What if I lose _you_? In death or in life? I had lost Ingraine that night. And now if I were to lose you? You are the closest thing I have left of her. To lose you would be like losing her a second time –losing you would be too close to how I had lost her."

She blinked in surprise and froze, having not expected that.

"Y-you won't lose me. I will be here, no matter what. I won't die or leave you. And I'm not Ingraine, Uther. I'm not her replacement either. I'm not the ghost of her."

"You know that's not what I meant."

She grimaced inwardly. Merlin knew alright. Uther had told her that there were times where he was reminded strongly of his wife when he looked at Merlin or when she acted in a certain way or said something that Ingraine might've. But he made it clear to her that he didn't think she was Ingraine or her reincarnation. He just saw glimpses of her in Merlin, and he appreciated that fact for himself to look fondly on. Looking at Merlin, he could remember Ingraine happily and not be caught up in the worse of his memories. It just gave him a good feeling. And with him seeing himself in Merlin as well, he'd said that it was like Merlin really _was_ his and Ingraine's daughter.

"You are as close to me as Ingraine was. To lose you would be as painful as it had been losing her."

And that worried Merlin. Because she was always on the frontlines and Uther had to have known there was always a danger of her getting hurt or killed. What would happen if she did?

"I'll watch over him. Arthur will get through this. And I…don't worry about me. I'll be fine," she said firmly.

She sounded sure, but why didn't she believe herself?

"You promise, right? Arthur will be okay?" he murmured, avoiding talking about the worry he had for her as well.

"I promise," and she knew she was making a lot of promises lately. But she knew this one she could not, at all costs, fail to fulfill.

So at dawn, she closed her eyes and muttered to herself.

"I guess it's time to sink or swim."

They rode out and in the forest, they started searching for the Questing Beast. Merlin was shaking, for once worried out of her wits, remembering one bite from it was certain death. She almost jumped out of her skin when Arthur gently touched her hand.

She looked at him and he mouthed, "Be careful."

She felt somewhat reassured.

Giving him a shaky smile, they continued their search. Then the screaming began.

They traced the tracks of the beast to a cave and in it, only Merlin and Arthur were left, back to back and circling around the cave. They could hear the rumbling of the Questing Beast, but they couldn't see it. There were times where the shadows flickered and they'd jumped to face it.

Merlin could hear her heart pounding in her ears, and the heat of Arthur's body behind her. And then suddenly the Questing Beast leapt out and she shrieked, jumping away and once again _stupidly_ tripping backwards. What the hell was wrong with her?

The Questing Beast was immediately on her, when Arthur leapt in the way and his shoulder was caught in its jaws. He cried out and Merlin felt fear strike her. When Arthur was thrown like a ragdoll and hit the ground with a dull thud that made her sick, she started to feel rage.

The beast headed for her again, and snapped its jaws at her threateningly. She snarled back, daring it silently. When it leapt at her, she dodged quickly to the side, and with surprising strength, she grabbed its jaws and slammed it close. She charged up a high voltage of lightning and directed it through her arms and conducted it first through its jaws, making an explosion of lightning emerge and burst around them, electrocuting the beat and making it shriek in pain.

It collapsed onto the floor. That wouldn't kill a magical creature like the Questing Beat, but she was damn sure that that would've caused damage and extreme amounts of pain.

Taking Arthur's sword, she whispered the words she used to magically enhance the lance she'd used against the Gryphon and it glowed. She stepped on its neck with her foot lightly, putting more pressure as she readied herself, staring at it blankly, before taking the sword and driving it into its neck.

She gathered Arthur into her arms, then she ran as fast as she could back to Camelot.

She bypassed the castle and headed straight to Gaius' quarters, a knight helping by wiping a table clean of stuff and Gaius hovering nearby. Gaius diagnosed the bite, and had the knights go to fetch the King. Merlin ran to her room, grabbing her book of magic, and quickly ran back out.

"Merlin! The King will be here any moment!" Gaius warned in panic.

"I don't care! Arthur cannot die! It's my _destiny_ to protect him! _I love him_!" she screamed hysterically.

Uther burst in at that exact moment, hearing her say those words.

"Then save him," Gaius looked at her in amazement before realizing the King was there and his eyes widening in horror, glancing between the magic book, Merlin, and Uther.

"Save him, Merlin. Please," Uther's voice trembled, looking shocked and staring at his son's body on the table. Gaius stepped back and observed the events, his mind working and putting things together.

Merlin couldn't look at Uther. She refused to.

She magically flipped through the book for a spell that could save Arthur, landing on one quickly.

"Deficio!"

She started flipping fast and yelling out spells even faster, but none of them seemed to work.

"Maybe they need time to work," her voice echoed Uther's tremble.

"The bite of the Questing Beast is a death sentence," Gaius said solemnly. "No magic can overturn it."

Uther lunged forward, grabbing onto his son and sobbing incoherent words into Arthur's unhearing ears. Taking Arthur's arm, he threw it over his neck and pulled him closer, holding Arthur in his arms.

"I'll take him to his chambers," Uther gasped out.

Gaius and Merlin followed reluctantly, watching as Uther carried Arthur in his arms and walked brokenly through the courtyard, Arthur's arms hanging limply by his sides. Uther kept walking, stumbling and then falling to his knee on the ground, clutching Arthur closer as he cried over his son's body. Gaius laid a comforting hand on Uther's shoulder as knights hurried to his side, helping to take Arthur's body and carry it themselves. Uther turned away painfully so he didn't have to watch them carry his son's body from him, crying uncontrollably.

Merlin watched numbly, body shaking and tears that she couldn't feel falling down her face. She couldn't look at Uther, didn't want to see the blame in his eyes, didn't want to see her failure reflected back at her.

She didn't want to see that she'd failed him, that she'd failed Arthur. She didn't want to see Uther's pain, because she'd caused it. She didn't want to see Arthur's lifeless body, because him dead was unthinkable. She had no purpose without him…and really, it wasn't just about her destiny. She could admit, like she did earlier, that she'd loved him. If Arthur was gone, there would be a gaping hole inside of her.

'_You failed.'_

And it wasn't just Uther's voice saying it in her head. The older, colder voice of her future self sneered at her. Uther's voice was just racked with pain. She was mocking and a strong tone of disdain could be heard.

Merlin turned and ran, without anyone the wiser.

Immediately, she headed to see the Great Dragon.

"Arthur is dying! He's been bitten by the Questing Beast! What should I do?"

"The Questing Beast is from the Old Religion, which is magic of the earth itself. If the Questing Beast has chosen Arthur, then the Old Religion has decided his fate."

"You said my destiny is to protect him! If there's no Arthur, then I wouldn't have a destiny! I will do anything to save him!" she pleaded, desperate for anything and willing to do anything.

"…As the Questing Beast is from the Old Religion, you must go to the Isle of the Blessed. There you will find a way to save Arthur. Whatever the cost, young sorceress, Arthur _must_ not die," the Great Dragon warned solemnly before flying off without saying anything more.

Merlin nodded and traveled quickly back to Gaius' quarters. She called on Edwin's spirit, who looked surprised to see her, but had that irritating smirk on his face.

"Now what, my dear?"

"The Isle of the Blessed. Where can I find it?" she asked bluntly.

His face blanked and he studied her for a long while, not revealing anything.

"Why would you want to know?" he finally asked with a hint of curiosity seeping in, as well obvious tension.

"Because I need to get there. Now tell me or else I'll make your afterlife hell," she glared.

He rolled his eyes and then told her, his angry outburst cut off when she dispelled him. She got ready and then left without another word.

* * *

Her eyes narrowed at the woman standing before her, red lips curling into an amused smile back at Merlin.

"So you've arrived."

"You can't be who the Dragon meant," Merlin grimaced.

"Why is that?" Nimueh laughed.

Merlin sneered, "You tried to kill me."

"Before I understood your importance."

"And Arthur?" the younger sorceress frowned.

Nimueh shrugged, "Arthur was never destined to die at my hand. And now it seems I will be his salvation."

"So you know what I've come to ask," Merlin stiffened up.

"Yes," was the simple answer.

"Will you do it?"

"I do not have the power to mirror life itself and yet give nothing in return," Nimueh answered softly, all amusement wiped off her face.

Merlin trembled. "I know that a price would be asked."

"Then would you give it?"

"Gladly."

"To save a life, there must be a death. The balance of the world must be restored," Nimueh said seriously.

Merlin already knew that. She already understood the consequence.

"I willingly give my life for Arthur's."

"How brave you are, Merlin! If only it were that simple…" Nimueh's amusement briefly returned.

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked hesitantly.

"Once you enter into this bargain, it cannot be undone."

But Merlin had been determined from the start, "Whatever I have to do, I will do. His life is worth a hundred of mine."

Nimueh produced a magical chalice, blessed by the Old Religion. She made it rain drops of sacred water, taking the blessed cup filled with it and then pouring it into a small ornate vial.

"Water from this cup must be brought to Arthur and he will be revived. However, there must be a death in exchange."

"I promise my own life in exchange for Arthur's," Merlin declared, no other look on her face than resolve.

Nimueh considered her a moment, before a slow smile spread across her painted mouth.

"Very well then. I'd thought about tricking you, taking someone close to you instead, but you'll do. Your life is mine."

"Wait! I have to get this back to Arthur, don't I?" Merlin was confused and panicking.

"No, not necessarily. I will make sure it gets to him in time," Nimueh stated nonchalantly.

Her body blurred and then in the blurriness, Merlin could see Nimueh's body shifting. As her body resettled, the blurriness began to fade until Nimueh was revealed in a red tunic, the same color as the dress and shredded in the same manner, black slacks and sandals. The big difference? She was no longer a she, but a he.

"How do you like my new look? I'd thought you'd prefer this more," Nimueh's deeper voice asked, once again amused but a hint of cruelness shown through.

"B-but how?" Merlin gasped, stumbling back.

"I'm a changeling, young sorceress. How else am I to look so young when I'd lived a long time, without an enchantment?"

Quick as lightning, suddenly Nimueh was right in front of her, his light blue eyes shining with cruel amusement. She could feel his breath fanning over her face, the heat of his body, and feel the power lightly pulsing around him.

She shivered, and she hated herself for it not being from fear.

"We're _very_ alike. You too are a creature of the Old Religion. You should join me," he purred into her ear.

"You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic? Never," Merlin was still trembling, and she cursed the betrayal of her body.

"So be it," he blew softly into her ear, lips enclosing around the lobe and nibbling, before trailing down her neck, tongue slipping out and licking a trail as he went.

"S-Stop," damn it, why was her voice stuttering? How the hell did he have such a control over her? She didn't understand it at all.

"You see, Merlin? Our power is calling out to each other, pulling us together. It's magnetic."

Her hand shot out and pushed at his chest, but she was horrified to find that she'd only weakly tried to push him away.

What was _wrong_ with her?

He was attractive, very attractive, and she was very responsive to that. And the power around him called out to her and she felt fascinated by it, pulled towards him like he'd said. She was attracted to his power and it pulled at something inside her, something that couldn't help but be drawn to that power he had.

When his lips touched hers and she immediately started to respond, her body on automatic as she wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed his hands to wander her body, allowing him to ravish her mouth –she desperately called up an image of Arthur. Remembering him and why she was there in the first place, gave her the strength to pull back and give a hard uppercut before she ran like a bat out of hell away from him.

Where she was going, she didn't know. She just knew she had to get away from him at least.

Merlin would die at his hands. But she would die before ever letting him touch her in the way only Arthur could.

After running for so long, surely lost and knowing that since Nimueh knew that place better than she that it would only be a matter of time before the changeling caught up, she ended up near a more wilder courtyard, stone castle ruins structured around it. It was surrounded by growth and vines, weeds hidden in cracks. Swallowing harshly, she walked tentatively more into it, seeing a large fountain in the middle of the courtyard, very ornate and ancient. It was screaming absolute power at her.

It seemed familiar though.

"I see you've stumbled onto the heart of the Isle of the Blessed. This place is the oldest of this island, the magic strongest here," Nimueh's strong, clear voice rang out in the courtyard.

She whirled around, backing away slowly and staring at him in wariness.

"You shouldn't go anywhere near that fountain," he warned in a blasé voice. "No one has gone near it since before the Purge. Even then, no one had really had the bravery to venture here and visit this fountain."

Merlin glanced behind her at the fountain before looking back, a plan forming in her mind.

"Really? Nice to know," she said sarcastically.

And then she crazily leapt into the fountain without further thought, making a small splash as she entered it and disappeared into its depths.

She didn't come back up.

"Pity. Together, we could have ruled the world."

* * *

A strange noise interrupted her sleep, and her hand banged on it instinctively. The noise immediately stopped.

"Marilyn! Get up! You'll be late for school!" her mother's voice called out.

Merlin slowly forced herself to get up.

Wait, her mother? What was she doing in Camelot?

"Come on, Merlin. Don't get all shitty in the morning," a familiar voice called out, and she blearily looked at the person at her door.

"Lancelot?" she asked in confusion.

Lancelot rolled his eyes, "Even my own sister is calling me by that ridiculous nickname. Forget you."

Merlin was confused and as she let her body go on automatic, she went over to her bathroom and let herself get ready. Since her body was doing all the work, she saw all the odd contraptions. She was taking a bath from an odd _pole_ or something that let water flow from it, and there were all sorts of things her hands were automatically using to help bathe her. She got out, used a fluffy cloth to wipe herself down, and then dressed herself in odd garments. And then she caught sight of her reflection in a huge mirror.

She looked mostly the same, but there were key differences. She looked slightly younger. Her hair was shorter than she remembered it to be, instead of its long length it was cut short to the top of her shoulders. Her eyes were _gold_, when she knew it was only gold when she used magic. Her blue eyes were gone…

She was wearing a white dress shirt, with a small fitting black vest over it, a black skirt that was much shorter than the dresses and skirts she remembered women usually wearing, and odd white things on her feet that was covered by strange looking shoes.

"Merlin! We're going to be late!" Lancelot yelled from outside her door.

Reluctantly, she followed after him.

She kept her fear in as Lancelot "drove" (with something he'd called a "car") them to a large building that she assumed was school. He was wearing a similar outfit, wearing pants instead of a skirt, and leather shoes. He also wore a black jacket that went with the "uniform."

"They're going to have Fridays' casual. Thank God! I don't want to wear this uniform all the time."

Merlin just nodded, taking her book bag from him and following. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Merlin, your class is the opposite way."

She panicked, "But I don't know where my class is."

He stared before looking behind her. "Well, you're in luck. Morgana and…Gwen," here he started blushing heavily, "are coming your way. Your friends have all of your classes. See ya, sis!"

Lancelot left her behind just as Morgana and Gwen reached her, Gwen staring only a little at her "brother's" retreating back.

"There you are, Merlin! Come on! If we don't hurry, we'll be late for class," Morgana grinned at her.

Both of them didn't look all that different, though their hair was definitely shorter and they were a lot younger than she knew them to be. Merlin nodded hesitantly and followed them, not knowing what was going on and where she was.

They reached the classroom, and from there she was pulled into a seat in between the two girls. The teacher began doing a roll call and people were responding to their names. She waited patiently for hers.

"Gwenith Jennings," Interesting. Gwen's name was different.

"Morgana Pendragon." Morgana's hadn't changed at all.

"Marilyn Amber."

Morgana elbowed her in the side, and she turned to her in confusion.

"What?"

Morgana raised her eyebrows at her, jerking her chin towards the teacher. Oh. Merlin's had changed. A lot.

_But she was Merlin Ambrosius…_

"Um, here."

And things continued like that through the whole day. When it was lunchtime, apparently she, Morgana, and Gwen were popular –enough that everyone had wanted to sit with them. But the three stuck together and sat under a tree, eating their lunch.

Merlin stared in confusion at the food in her, uh, lunchbox.

Gwen peered over at her food. "Mm, custom-made sushi, no seafood, imitation crab and cream cheese. Ohh, lobster as your main course. And rice balls as a side. Is your mom on a seafood/Japanese trend?"

Merlin didn't know how to respond to that. She didn't know what any of that was. So she laughed nervously and shrugged.

"Who knows?"

The other two girls laughed, and that was that.

While they were talking, Merlin tried to cling to whatever leftover instincts Merlin of this place had given to her to survive. Merlin was called Merlin because apparently she was a wiz at _everything. _She wasn't rich, she was middle-classed, but her Uncle Gaius was the personal doctor to the Pendragon family –Morgana's family. And he loved to spoil her. Morgana and Arthur were loaded, and apparently the richest kids at the private school they were studying at. Gwen lived with them, working as a maid. Lancelot, named Lance in this place, was her brother.

And –

Her breath caught as she saw Arthur walk out of the cafeteria and into the courtyard where everyone else was eating, surrounded by his gaggle of friends.

Morgana snorted. "Like a schoolgirl crush. If you like my brother so much, why do you keep politely declining him every time he asks you out?"

"It's because Merlin is trying to play hard to get with me," Arthur's smug voice cut in, he and his friends having made it over to them quickly.

Lancelot was part of their group, and Merlin had to fight to keep the smirk off her face. Well, he wasn't a knight…

"In your dreams," Gwen, though, did smirk.

Both girls draped themselves over Merlin, smirking widely at the blond teen.

"She'd prefer us over you any day, Pendragon."

"I'm hurt, Morgana! You don't consider yourself a Pendragon, and after we took you in and adopted you? Well, never mind that. Merlin, there's a club party Friday night. Want to come with?" Arthur started mockingly before becoming serious and directing all his attention towards Merlin.

"Yes," she answered without hesitation.

Everyone froze and stared at her, Arthur looking stunned.

One thing she hated knowing, even after everything, even in this place –she refused to get together with Arthur. This time, because she didn't want to be just another one of the girls he dated. Well, she wasn't in Camelot and she wanted to be with Arthur, even if only in this place.

"G-great. I'll pick you up at 7 then. See you," Arthur hesitantly smiled shyly at her before turning back into the arrogant ass he usually was, taking off with his friends.

Later, Hunith was hurrying her and Lancelot, saying that Gaius had wanted them to come to the Pendragon party being hosted that night. She'd already received a similar invitation from Morgana earlier in school, as well as from Arthur when he'd hesitantly handed her a formal envelope before she had to go to her last class.

She wore a simple black dress, though it was still much shorter at the skirts and more flimsy than the dresses she was used to. But there was no corset, so she still saw a win situation.

They quickly headed over to the Pendragon mansion, Merlin staring in disbelief. Even in this place, they lived in a c_astle_. Smaller than the one in Camelot, but still.

Lancelot snorted, "Who do they think they are? The Luthors? Xanatos?"

Merlin stared at him in confusion. She hadn't caught the references at all.

"Oh hush, you," Hunith berated her son fondly. "It's the same every time we come here. Be nice."

The party was in full swing by the time they entered, and Gaius immediately spotted them, actually looking no different than she'd remembered him.

"Hunith! Lance! Merlin!"

He gave them each a huge hug, after which he and Hunith engaged in a long conversation about something. Lancelot drifted off and she decided to do the same thing, trying to look for Morgana or Gwen.

She saw a silhouette of someone standing on the balcony and suddenly her head started hurting. She gasped loudly, collapsing on her knees on the floor. The people around her, even the person on the balcony, hurried to her, but her vision was blurred and she couldn't see any of them.

"Are you okay?" A familiar and comforting voice asked.

"No," she breathed out.

But she couldn't hear any more as she was caught in the throes of a vision from the past. The last thing she did hear was that familiar voice saying, "Bring her to my study and lay her on the couch. I'll see to it that her family is informed and will look after her myself."

_Merlin walked across the soft-carpeted hallway, feeling a little insomnia. Maybe she shouldn't have agreed to Morgana's sleepover, not with the dreams she's been having…_

_Seeing a silhouette of someone on the balcony, she cautiously came closer. _

"_Mr. Pendragon?" she called out, finally recognizing the figure sitting at the edge of the balcony and peering into the sky. _

_The balcony was dangerous because it had no railings, and with him sitting at the edge with his legs dangling over, he was in a precarious position that foreshadowed serious motives._

"_I'm not here to kill myself, Ms. Amber," he called her out on her thoughts. _

_She blinked in surprise, but came closer and sat next to him, folding her legs closer to her and tucking her knees under her chin._

"_Sorry…I just assumed…Um, just call me Merlin. Everyone does, Mr. Pendragon." _

"_How long have you been Morgana's friend? I may not have met you before, but the two of you have known each other since you were kids. Call me Uther."_

_She giggled, "That's kinda funny. Morgana and I __**have**__ been friends for a long time, and I've only met you now."_

_His lips twitched upward. "Yeah. Interesting fact. I do seem to feel like I know you already, however. With how much Morgana talks about you. And occasionally, so does little Gwen. Well…so does Arthur. In fact, my son speaks very fondly of you."_

_Merlin blushed terribly and muttered something under her breath. He laughed at her, but not cruelly, and she hesitantly smiled back and started to slowly laugh along with him. _

_For the rest of the night, she just sat there with him, talking about anything and everything. And she noticed, that as they talked, the sadness she saw in his eyes disappeared for then._

Groaning, she finally opened her eyes and pulled herself from the vision, feeling her head on someone's lap and that same someone running their hand through her hair while the other held one of her hands.

"You're finally awake?" Uther's familiar, but less _hardened_ voice asked her. It was more sad, a little more revealing than the Uther she was used to.

Funny. Even in this place. In this strange time (because she was starting to be certain that she was in some sort of future). She and Uther were still friends…

"I guess I am. Nice waking up to you, Uther," she muttered.

His eyebrows raised and she tried to realize what she had said wrong. Her words were a little more sardonic than probably what this Merlin usually said to this Uther, and what her Uther was usually used to hearing.

But he'd avoided that and focused on something else.

"You called me Uther. Usually you would just call me Mr. Pendragon, even after I insisted on Uther."

"Oh…um, it just slipped out. I'm sorry," she turned red. She noticed that too. She, in this body, had less control of her emotions. In fact, she blushed far too easily. And it showed more. At least in her time, she had the control to blush unnoticeably. At times.

"But I do insist on Uther. So please. How are you doing? What happened out there?" he started in worriedly.

"It was nothing," she gave what she hoped was a sure smile. "I just had a really bad headache."

"Do you need Gaius to check on you? Or should I just take you to the ER?"

"No. _No_." She shook her head. "I mean really. Just no. I'll be fine."

Wow, this Uther was _really_ protective of her. And he didn't stop himself from showing it either.

"So, there's school tomorrow, right?"

She tried to think about it and nodded hesitantly.

"Do you feel like cutting? I'll take you out tomorrow."

She gaped at him openly. "What? I mean, w-why? Huh?"

He laughed lightly at her, but it seemed half-hearted. "The anniversary of my wife's death."

"Oh…" So it seems even here, Ingraine was dead. But Uther didn't look as cold as he did in her time. He just seemed sadder.

He had less angry lines around his face, barely any frown lines. Without magic to hate and blame, Uther handled her death in a different way. More…depressing way, really…

"Sure."

"Great!" he seemed immediately cheered up. "When you get to school, sneak 'round the back and head to the park. I'll pick you up there."

"Okay then," she hesitantly smiled at him, trying to get up. His hand tightened around hers before letting go reluctantly.

"Your mother should be waiting for you," Uther muttered unenthusiastically.

"I'll see you tomorrow," and she allowed herself something she would've never have done had she been back in her time with her Uther. She kissed his cheek fondly and then darted out the door playfully.

The next day, she nervously snuck out of school and without anyone's supervision, and thankfully made it to the park without any trouble. She figured she'd get lost at least…

One of those car things drove up to her and the window rolled down, showing Uther who waved slightly at her.

"Didn't recognize my car?" he smirked at her.

She shrugged nonchalantly, unsure if other her was supposed to recognize it.

"I like it though."

She got into the seat next to him, blinking when he handed her a new set of clothing.

"I can't take you out in your school uniform. You _are_ supposed to be in school right now, you know," Uther smirked at her, much more like her Uther at that moment.

"Uh…what…change here?" she asked nervously.

"Merlin, I'm not –I'm not going to peek. I thought you trusted me," Uther looked at her in embarrassment, apprehensiveness, and _worry_ –worry that she didn't trust him or thought he was capable or such things. Worry that she thought he was a pervert.

"No, you know. In a car. Weird," she laughed it off, and he averted his eyes to the front as she started taking off her top and switched it with a nice white lacy blouse, repeating the switch with her pleated school skirt and into the paper birch corduroy miniskirt.

"I have black opaque tights to go with that. It's cold out, so you might want to cover your legs. If you want to change out of your school shoes, I have a pair of black ankle-length boots in the back too. You know, um, it all goes together. At least, that was what the salesperson told me…" Uther rambled uncomfortably.

Uther buying things for her (totally obvious that he did, especially since they fit perfectly and he was using sales descriptions), spoiling her, and acting all uncertain and more emotional than her Uther was definitely something she didn't mind.

She just smiled. "No, it's fine. I love it all."

"Like you like this car? Lamborghini Concept S, very sleek look, and the silver tone is my favorite. I saw one that you might like, a black Lamborghini SPIGA Concept," he was rambling again, though he avoided the fact that by concept car, it meant cars that haven't made production…

"What does it mean if it's a Concept?"

He winced. "Ah, nothing really. Just…cars that haven't been made for the public yet. Or necessarily have been decided to have been made…I just have connections," he muttered that last part.

"Right…you really like cars, don't you? Especially this one," she said mischievously. "And I'll pass on the car. I'm nowhere able to drive."

Remembering just riding with Lancelot and her full-blown panic and fear was enough to put her off driving. Speaking of, she hadn't freaked out at all while Uther drove…

"I'll teach you," he said dismissively. "Then you'll learn to drive. And in the meantime I'll get you that car."

He turned on the stereo, music somehow blaring from speaker-things. Uther softly sang along to it and she stared in awe.

He blinked at her. "I thought you liked the Beatles."

"Huh?"

"You and I used to always sing along to their songs. This song is your favorite."

"Oh, uh yeah."

Well, she did like the song of course…

By the next chorus, she was singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" along with Uther. By the time they were finally close to their destination, she remembered her favorite Beatles songs (courtesy of some memories that weren't technically hers; and because she herself really did like the songs).

He stopped by an expensive-looking restaurant, which she could tell just by looking from the outside, and he exited out first, walking over to her side and opening her door for her. She shivered once she got out.

"Cold?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah. I didn't think it would be this cold."

"There's a black long-sleeve turtleneck sweater in the back you can change into."

She blinked at his preparedness, but went back inside the car, Uther closing the door behind her. She found the slim turtleneck and took off the blouse, exchanging it for the sweater. Tugging it down, she knocked lightly on the door and it opened for her. Slipping out, she was unsteady a little, though Uther quickly steadied her.

"We'll eat lunch here first, and then I'll take you shopping. Then we'll stop by the cemetery before dropping you off to your home. You have an alibi?"

"Mom's working, so if we're back before three, I can beat L-Lance," she stumbled over Lancelot's name there, "back before he comes home. I'll just say I wasn't feeling well when I got to school and decided to walk home."

"I'll call school to call you in sick. I'll tell them I was driving by while you were walking and gave you a lift, which both things should be fine since it's a known fact I'm a close family friend. I'll call Gaius and he'll tell Hunith."

"Uh, okay," she agreed, his additions to her alibi making it easier.

They actually ate a quick lunch, very delicious but Uther wouldn't let her see the receipt. She dreaded the amount. Skipping the local mall, Uther actually drove her an hour away to a nice outlet shopping mall, which she suspect was every bit as expensive as the clothing she wore. She wouldn't be surprised if her clothing came from one of the stores there.

In a cool gaming store there, she stood in front of a TV, addicted to singing to a Beatles song from the Beatles Rockband game.

"Well, well. Ms. Amber, aren't you cutting school?"

No way…

She whirled around, and there was Edwin Muirden smirking at her.

"Um, hey," she said lamely and unsure what his name there was or how she knew him.

He snorted, "Nice one, Ms. Amber. You should be in 4th period right about now, but yet here you are. Playing games?"

He raised an eyebrow sardonically at her. "I would've thought better of the popular, everyone's best friend, loved by everyone Merlin."

"Um, please don't tell anyone I skipped school," she stiffened up.

Edwin gazed at her lazily, eyes trailing up and down her body.

"I'm sure something could be arranged."

Uther slid right next to her at that moment, his face stony, smoothly slipping cash into Edwin's front shirt pocket and smiling stiffly.

"I'm sure she was never even here, right Mr. Muirden?" Uther's voice was polite, but both of them could detect the subtle tone of threat and danger.

Edwin fake-smiled back. "Right." He looked to Merlin, his smile turning more amused and slightly lecherous. "I'll just leave you to your Sugar Daddy then."

He turned on his heel and walked away.

Merlin blinked. "What's a Sugar Daddy?"

Uther was torn between fidgeting uncomfortably and staring at her.

"It's nothing. Did you like this game?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "It's fun."

"I'll buy it then," he said immediately.

Merlin shook her head. "It's fun, but expensive. Besides, how am I going to explain how I got it?"

Uther shrugged, "I'll leave it at my house. My kids will assume it's for them and this way you can come over all the time. Besides, Arthur loves these kinds of games and it'll give you an _excuse _to come over."

But what kind of excuse? An excuse to use while visiting him, or just an excuse to use as an explanation for her coming over all the time because she liked the game? Former or latter? Serious or more playful?

Would other Merlin assume that Uther was just teasing her by saying she kept coming over for the game, when she knew that Uther was really hoping for the former?

But Uther backpedaled and retconned his statement in a way that was more joking and less subtly depressing.

"I mean, by keeping the game at my home, it gives my family an excuse to keep dragging you back there," he chuckled lightly.

She forced a smile onto her face and hoped it looked real.

* * *

Gaius sighed as he packed some of his things in his quarters, going to live next door to Arthur's room for awhile. He saw a vial to the side, with an elaborate flourish of Merlin's name on a parchment next to it. Opening the folded parchment, he read the contents quickly.

_Arthur Pendragon will live_.

Dropping his bag, he practically flew off and ran to Arthur's bedside.

Uther was still there, exhaustedly sitting by Arthur. Gwen was off to the side, helping with little things, having been told by Morgana to help in whatever way she could.

"Milord, I think I may have a cure." Gaius hesitated, but continued on. "Merlin has retrieved it, so it is much better hope than we could have now."

Uther sat up quickly, much more alert than he had been. He gestured for Gaius to quickly hurry up, and he moved to Arthur's side and tilted the vial into the Prince's mouth.

"We might need to give it some time…"

"Alright, then we have no choice but to wait…" Uther reluctantly acceded.

Gaius nodded and excused himself, worry only now starting to set in for his young ward. Where was Merlin and how did she come by that vial? He should've looked more into the vial before using it, but there had been no time. And now, as he looked back, there had been no sign of Merlin in the past few days, ever since she'd brought back Arthur.

Where had she gone?

A deep needling feeling set in his gut and he traveled down to the caverns, seeking out the Great Dragon that he knew resided down there. When he got there, the dragon was already seated on his rock and staring straight at him solemnly.

"Where have you sent Merlin?" Gaius asked sharply.

Smoke billowed forth from it. "Where she needed to have gone."

"Be more specific, dragon! I have no time to indulge you in your cryptics," Gaius sneered, panic and worry settling in quite heavily, knowing for certain now that Merlin was in probable danger.

"She said she was willing to do whatever needed to be done to save Arthur. I gave her a way."

"And what way was that?" Uther's cold voice interrupted them, appearing behind Gaius and glaring straight at the dragon.

The Great Dragon considered him heavily, but decided to speak. "I sent her to the Isle of the Blessed. The Questing Beast is a creature of the Old Religion, so only the Old Religion could save Arthur."

"The Old Religion dictates that for a life another life must be taken. Who was Merlin forced to sacrifice?" Gaius echoed Uther's glare, while Uther stiffened up at his words.

"I was hoping it would be the King, but truthfully, Nimueh probably would have chosen Merlin's mother."

Gaius recoiled while Uther frowned and didn't loosen up. Uther thought there was something else. Both, however, were slightly reeling from the fact that Merlin had to deal with Nimueh.

"So that's where Merlin is. Tending to her mother."

The dragon hesitated and they caught that.

"What is it?" Uther asked cuttingly.

"…You are quite wrong, and I am sure of it. I have not felt Merlin's presence back since she'd left, so the vial was not delivered by her. I am almost positive that Nimueh had changed her mind on tricking Merlin, and decided to accept the young sorceress' offer. Her life for Arthur's."

Silence.

Uther, surprising the other two, turned and walked out first. But Gaius followed soon after, without another glance at the dragon.

"I haven't mentioned it before, Uther, but…I had the feeling of something going on between you and Merlin. While I was unsure of exactly what, I did notice things that were unusual. Barely though. You and Merlin are rather excellent at acting and hiding…"

"But we've been slipping," Uther acknowledged, knowing that was what helped Gaius put things together more solidly. "It is a long story, my friend."

"One, I hope, you will tell me on the way there?"

"…Very well."

"How's your magic, Gaius?" Uther unexpectedly asked next.

Gaius hesitated, but answered nonetheless. "A little rusty, but I can still use it."

"No good then."

"…No good…"

The sound of hurried footsteps heading towards them made them hesitantly slow down, and they saw Gwen breathing hard as she came to a stop near them.

"Milord, Gaius, these letters were left for you. I just found them when I went to go pick up the medicines you told me to fetch in case for when Prince Arthur wakes up. They look to be from Merlin."

Uther immediately snatched his from Gwen, reading it quickly. Gaius was slower in taking it, reading upon opening it.

_Dear Gaius,_

_It has been a long journey for me, from just a girl magician in my village to the sorceress I have become today, finding out my destiny and experiencing things beyond my life of a peasant. You have always been kind and caring to me, and I could always count on you to help me. You are like a grandfather, my dear old man, but this time –you will not be able to help me. Arthur must live at all costs. Even if I will need to sacrifice myself in order for him to live. He will be a great King. Stand by his side and advise him in my stead. _

_You mean so much to me._

_With love and fondness –and much thanks,_

_Merlin_

He finished reading in time to see Uther already striding away in the direction of the stables. Gaius hurried to follow behind him.

"Guinevere, please look after my son until I get back. It will be much appreciated," Uther called out over his shoulder.

Gwen hesitantly called an affirmative, watching stunned as they left.

* * *

_Dear Uther,_

_I'm sorry. I failed you and I failed Arthur. I will not allow this to happen and will do everything in my power to save him. I swear on my magic that he will live. Please, trust me one more time, for this I will not fail._

_I know I have not always been the easiest to deal with, or the most reliable. And I know that sometimes, I'm not very showy with my emotions. You told me, if anything were to happen to either you or Arthur, I'd promised to show more of my emotions for either of you two. Well this is my last chance and will to show that. This is for me to show you I do care for you both, and I do love you two. I am sorry it had to end this way._

_Do not attempt to find me, you won't be able to. I'm going to go somewhere to save Arthur, and offer my life in exchange for his. He cannot die and you know that. I may be part of his destiny, but without him there is no destiny to speak of. His life outweighs the importance of my own, and I will be proud and happy to give up mine for his. He needs to live, and I don't necessarily have to. Please stand by him, my friend. You asked me to show more how I feel, then please –take your own advice. Your son needs you. Be by his side, as I cannot._

_You said I was your daughter. Well, I have never known my father, have no knowledge of him at all. __**You**__ have been the father I have never known._

_Thank you,_

_Merlin_

The letter was crumpled in his hands, as he refused to let it go. He and Gaius had saddled the horses and were riding as fast as they could to the Isle of the Blessed, determined to reach Merlin before something irreparable could happen. And if something had happened to her, then Uther had everything planned out.

They were there in no time, greeted by a grumpy Nimueh, who had resorted back to her feminine guise.

"Oh, you two," she rolled her eyes.

"Where's Merlin?" Uther asked threateningly, sword in hand already.

Nimueh sneered, "I don't know. I lost her."

"What do you mean you don't know?! How could you _lose_ her?" Uther roared, Gaius letting him take the lead. At the moment, Uther was the more aggressive of the two, so he stood back and observed the surroundings, trying to see any evidence of Merlin's presence.

Nimueh looked at them, a slow cruel smile spreading across her face.

"Alright, I'll tell. If only so you could find her and bring her back. I still have to kill her in order to fulfill her bargain."

Uther snarled, "I don't think so. I'll bring her back. Then it's my life for hers. Now tell me where she is."

"Interesting," Nimueh muttered to herself. "She's at the heart. The fountain in the courtyard. The girl fell into the waters. I have no idea where she has gone."

"The fountain, you say?" Gaius tensed.

"Yes, the one."

Gaius looked furious, for once looking different from his usual mild self.

"_No one goes in that fountain_."

Nimueh huffed, "Like I could've done anything. She jumped in."

"Tell me where this fountain is, so I can get her," Uther gritted his teeth.

Nimueh pushed herself off the stone slab, smirk growing wider as a small idea grew in her head.

She jumped towards him in a small leap, shifting to look alike someone very familiar to the two.

"Do you really miss me that much? Do you really _want_ me that much?" Nimueh purred in _Merlin's_ voice, in _Merlin's_ body, leaning in seductively to Uther and fingers trailing up his chest teasingly.

Without hesitation, Uther backhanded her and she landed harshly on the ground. But she still chuckled, blood dripping down the corner of her mouth. Looking up, she tilted her head and considered him closely.

"What? Do I not please you, milord?" Nimueh asked, still in the image of Merlin.

"Merlin, yes. You, you treacherous witch, no. Never use her image again, you wretched creature. I will kill you without a single thought, if you do," he threatened.

Nimueh laughed harshly, transforming back. "I don't know. I kind of liked her body. Makes me look younger…and rather prettier, I'd say."

He scoffed degradingly, "She carries herself far more superior than your best try. You wouldn't hold a candle."

"Fascinating," she commented dryly. "She's in that direction. Hurry up and bring me my death."

Uther scowled at her before turning his back and walking in the direction she'd pointed. She smirked and decided he could be hurt just a little.

She shot a quick elemental lightning spell, but it hit an invisible shield around him, that glowed a slight golden tone before disappearing. But it had alerted both Gaius and Uther to her small attack. Both men whirled around and glared at her warily.

She sneered, "Well, well. I guess Merlin blessed you with the ancient protection of magic. That's powerful magic there. What a lucky man, you are, Uther Pendragon."

"Attack me again, Nimueh. You will regret it," Uther said softly, unlike his usual threats.

"Is that a challenge?" she answered back just as softly.

Uther lifted his chin in defiance. In retaliation, Nimueh cast the same lightning spell at him, but he lifted a rock and the lightning hit it, where it then shot her own spell back at her and she didn't have time to move away. She was knocked out by the attack.

"Is that…the Maidstone?" Gaius asked in wonder, staring at the glowing golden rock in Uther's hand.

"Yes. I was going to give it to Merlin, but I'd forgotten about it…until I'd gone here."

Uther uncomfortably avoided Gaius' gaze and stuffed the stone back into his pocket, starting on his way again.

"I'll stay here and watch her," Gaius informed him.

He nodded and tried not to think about not getting there in time. By luck, he actually reached the courtyard easily and saw the ornate fountain in the middle. Thinking nothing else but to save Merlin, he jumped into the waters.

* * *

Merlin didn't want to admit it. She didn't even want to think about it. But truth was, she really didn't feel like going back now. She was happy there. She was about to go on a date with Arthur, Morgana and Gwen were her friends and she didn't really have to lie to them, Uther and her were close without the extra baggage that came in her time. Fact was, in this time, in this future –Merlin could be who she wanted to be without lying about everything, worries about someone finding out her secrets, trying to please everyone, worrying about her destiny, about protecting Arthur, about him getting a proper wife…None of that mattered here.

She could easily lead a happy life here without her usual problems.

As seven struck, she wondered why Arthur wasn't there yet. She was worried, but Arthur seemed genuine enough. Peering out the window, she found out why Arthur was a little late. He was busy staring at her door in trepidation, mouth opened, eyes wide, and hand ready to knock but not willing to actually do so.

So she opened the door herself and smirked playfully.

"Were you planning on staying on my doorstep the whole night as a date?"

He blushed heavily. "N-no. I was just. Look, Merlin, I'm nervous. I _really_ like you and you know that, but you've never said yes to me before. Um, I don't really know what to do."

She took pity on him and hooked her arms around one of his, starting to lead him to his car.

"Well, you did invite me to a club. I guess we were going dancing tonight?"

He stopped and averted his eyes, "I, um. Yeah. We could do that. It's just…for our first date, I wanted to do something special. I don't wanna go hang out at a club and dance there. It's not romantic."

She gazed at him in wonder. "We could…we could just stay here at my house and dance to whatever songs we wanted in my room?"

"Yeah, that would be nice," he smiled shyly at her. "I'd like that. It would just be the two of us…and I wouldn't have to share you with anyone."

She smiled back just as shyly at him, not able to help it. This Arthur was just so adorable and hesitant, but still as…loving towards her as ever.

"Um, why don't we go to my house though? My room has a real nice stereo system and there's a lot of room," he rambled nervously.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

She nodded and he grinned, grabbing her hand to lead her to his car.

Arthur took no time getting to his house, probably breaking a few speeding laws and running a couple red lights, and scaring the living daylights out of Merlin, but he'd wanted to get there as fast as he could.

Without pause, he dragged her into his room and then offered a seat on his bed while he'd scampered over to his computer and started searching for songs. Selecting Ben Taylor Band's version of "Time of the Season," he went back to Merlin and nervously offered her a hand.

She accepted it graciously and he pulled her up, holding each other close and dancing slowly to the song.

"It's the time of the season, where love runs high," he sang into her ear, hands drifting from her waist to her hips sensuously. Feeling her shiver, he smirked against her neck where his lips brushed against softly. "In this time, give it to me easy and let me try."

Experimentally drawing her closer, he aligned their bodies together, causing just slight friction. When he didn't hear a protest from her, taking it as a good sign, he slid his hands farther down and slid them under her blouse, hands trailing lightly up her back to rest against the clasp of her bra.

"With pleasured hands, take you in the sun to promise land. Show you everyone, it's the time for the season of loving," he murmured into her ear, fingers unhooking her bra.

He blinked when she stepped back and shook her head, smiling sardonically at him and hooking bra again.

He blushed and inwardly beat himself up. "Sorry, Merlin. Too far? Can I just blame it on teenage hormones and male idiocy?"

She laughed at him and smiled warmly, "You go and do that."

He chuckled lightly and then held out his hands to her, shrugging slightly and offering her a goofy grin.

"Finish the dance?"

When he was like that, sweet and adorable, could she really say no?

After that they danced to a couple more songs, before Arthur successfully needled her into just lying down on the bed with him, letting him wrap his arms around her and hold her to him. Not disagreeable, she wrapped her own arms around his waist and settled her head comfortably on his chest.

They had been so comfortable and relaxed, that when Uther burst through the door an hour later, they looked at him bewildered and slightly embarrassed.

"Dad," Arthur looked at him in embarrassment and shock, recovering and silently signaling for his father to leave them alone.

Merlin flushed red.

"Um, never mind. I'll just leave you two alone and come back later," Uther started to back out.

Merlin shook her head, "No, it's okay. I have to get back anyway. It's late."

"It is late, Merlin. Why don't you stay here? You can call your mother and tell her. We have some of your stuff stored in the pool house from the last time you stayed over. I'll lead you there, since I was just heading there myself," Uther said.

Merlin nodded an okay and was about to slip away from Arthur when he hesitantly grasped her wrist.

"Can I…can I kiss you, Merlin?" he mumbled anxiously.

That's right. This Arthur had never kissed Merlin before. Letting him tilt her head and pull her down slightly, he angled his mouth to meet hers and kissed her softly. It was brief but very sweet, and she turned bright red as she rushed to Uther's side.

As they were walking, Uther's lips were twitching upwards.

"You and my son, huh? About time. I was wondering when you two would finally get together. Hey, I thought you two were supposed to go out to a club or something. That's where Morgana and Gwen still are."

Merlin blushed again, "We decided to just stay in his room and dance to songs there. And then we just lay down on his bed and relaxed."

He smirked at her and his eyebrows rose up.

"Shut up, you!" she scowled at him.

"I didn't say anything."

"You were implying something with your look! I tell you, we didn't do anything naughty in his room. Why do you tease me all the time?! Why don't you tease your son?!"

Uther rolled his eyes, "It doesn't have the same effect. Every time I try with Arthur, he just blanks out at the mention of you, and just starts daydreaming. If it's not about naughty things with you, it's probably about you two living here happily with kids. And a dog. My son can be a real sap sometimes, when it comes to you."

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye before looking back forward.

"So, you're staying here, right?"

"I guess," she drawled, rolling her eyes. "Since I was cornered into it."

"Well then, I'll cook dinner tonight."

"Looking forward to it," and to know he'd cook (well, that he could actually cook at all) warmed her up inside.

She loved this place.

At the pool house, he directed her to a room while he took out some boxes from the fridge.

"You want some pie?" he called out to her from the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure!" she yelled from the bedroom, changing into pajamas.

When she'd finished, she exit out and saw a strange sight. Uther was sitting at the table and staring at the boxes, a confused look on his face.

"Uther, what's wrong?" she asked in confusion. "Are you okay?"

"…Merlin, is that you?"

She laughed, "Well, yeah. Who else?"

"Merlin, we have to go back," Uther said urgently, shooting out of his chair and grabbing her arm.

"Go where, idiot?" she smirked, leaning against the table.

"Back to where we _should_ be. Somewhere not here. Back in, you know, Camelot," Uther gestured violently with his hands, a little weirded out about the strange things around him.

Merlin reeled back, jerking her arm out of his hold and staring at him in horror.

"No…No! I can't, Uther. I _like_ it here. I'm happy. I don't have as many problems here than where we belong. I-I can be with Arthur, just like you keep pushing me to. And-and Morgana and Gwen are my friends, and we don't have to worry about anything except just regular girl things. And you care about me –you love me here!"

"But I do love you! Haven't I already told you that? I've seen everything that's happen since you were here, I can read my mind from this place easily. If you want me to buy you things, I'll buy you things. If you want Arthur, just give in to him! If you don't want to keep secrets from Morgana and Guinevere, then you can tell them whatever you want! Tell them the truth!"

"_Please_, just go back by yourself."

He sighed in frustration, moving to be in front of her and grabbing her face, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"You are happy. But we need you back in Camelot. And we can be just as happy there. It might take more work because of the problems we always have there, but Arthur and I, Morgana and Guinevere –we can make you happy. Please, come back with me."

Merlin looked at him and started to cave.

"You have Arthur here…but what about Arthur back home?"

Arthur…home…

How could she be so selfish? And the referral of Camelot as home, her home, cinched it.

"Okay. But I want some of this pie before we leave," she sniffled. "I'm not going to ever be able to have it again and I would very much like some comfort food right now."

He quickly cut a piece of pie from both boxes and put them on small plates, letting her take a first bite out of either of them and then taking the fork from her and trying it himself.

"This is good. What is this?" Uther commented.

"That's lemon pie, this is chocolate," her voice was morose.

"They're…good. Really good…"

"After this, we have to leave, don't we?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

They finished off the pies and Uther gently led her out of the pool house and to the pool.

"We went into water to get here. It makes sense that we would need to go into water to go back," Uther reasoned.

Merlin nodded stiffly, "Water is a big power source and generally considered to be used for magical portals. When we picture our pool of magic inside of us, it's through water…a portal into our inner core of magic power if you will."

"You're stalling, darling."

She let a small sob, "Other Uther liked to call me that…"

He tightened his hold around her comfortingly in response. Then, while holding onto her, he lunged into the pool. The two made a splash and when they resurfaced, they were two different people.

* * *

"What a relief. You're not going to die, and I knew it. And one day you will be King, and a far better one than your father could ever be. It's what keeps me going. You are going to live to be the man I've seen inside you, Arthur. I can see a Camelot that is fair and just. I can see a King that the people will love and be proud to call their sovereign. For the love of Camelot...you have to live. For the love of…Merlin…

"I see how you look at him, and I'm not blind to it. In fact…I see how he looks back at you too, and it hurts so badly," Gwen let out a sob, burying her face into her hands. "My Lady Morgana was one thing, but you…Merlin actually returns your feelings, I know it. The gender thing doesn't bother me, it's that it's not me he likes –he likes someone else, someone that is you, milord. It hurts inside, it really does. But I want him happy. And if I cannot be the one to make him happy, please, Sire…you have to live. Live and be the one to make him happy."

Gwen admitted it. She'd seen her friend return those longing looks at Arthur when he thought no one was looking, but Gwen was. And she'd seen Arthur longingly look at Merlin as well. While she wished it was she who could make Merlin happy, she would settle for any way, anyone to make her dearest friend happy.

"I'm sorry, Gwen," Arthur's tired voice said from the bed.

She turned horrified in his direction, blushing greatly and apologizing profusely. He waved it off.

"It is alright…and I am sorry that you are hurting inside. It is not my intention, and you know Merlin would never wish for it either. And while I am sorry, I cannot be sorry I feel the way I do for Merlin. I will never regret my feelings or compromise on them. I don't want to hurt you, Gwen, but I love Merlin and I will fight for…him every step of the way. I cannot give him up. I promise you, Guinevere, I will live and die to make Merlin happy. You don't have to worry about that."

"Yes, yes. Of course, Sire. Um, I found this and it was addressed to you from Merlin." She handed him a folded letter and he took it eagerly.

"Gwen, have you seen my father?"

"Oh…Well, the King was by your side the entire time. He'd only left in a hurry. I think it was…an emergency with Merlin."

Arthur looked at her in alarm, "What? What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure, milord…He just seem worried and anxious. When he stayed by your side, he seemed dead on his feet and resigned. Almost as if he had nothing left to care for…when I gave him a letter from Merlin, he'd read it quickly and he'd just practically ran off, but he seemed the opposite than when he was with you. More alive and determined to do something," she answered hesitantly.

Hearing that his father also received a letter made him worry. Why would Merlin send so many letters, if not to mean she had something important to say? It was all very worrying and he wanted to be alone soon so he could read Merlin's letter already.

"I'm…really sorry again for my father," Arthur winced from the pain.

"…I know. Your father…he apologized to me earlier when you were still unconscious and we were alone. I believe him."

Another surprise, but one that could wait to be questioned later.

Gwen finished up and left him alone and he went to read his letter.

_Arthur…_

_You know you're a prat, right? A royal one at that. And yet, I am still very fond of you. So please, promise me if you get another servant you won't get a bootlicker. Just know that I will be happy to be your servant until the day I die. I know you well, my Prince, and you are a great warrior. One day, you will be a great King. Just remember to listen as well as you fight…and don't be a prat._

_If anything, that would be all that I would say. But if something happens…there are more important things I have to say, a lot of things too numerous and things I'd rather say to your face. But as it is, I fear that I cannot. So I will say the most important thing and the only thing I wish to say to you now._

_I love you._

_Merlin_

He wanted to crumple the letter and cry over it, but he didn't want to ruin the precious letter –a letter that indicated may be the last thing he had of Merlin. As it was, he was already crying over it and staining it with tears. No need to ruin it even more. He refolded it carefully and lay back on his side, facing the wall and holding the letter close to his chest.

He cursed his weak body and hoped his father would be able to do something.

* * *

"Ah, so they return," Nimueh's masculine voice echoed into the courtyard as soon as Uther and Merlin resurfaced in the fountain.

Water dripped down their faces and their hair weighed heavily down, as well as their clothes, and it was not a good thing for them if they were to fight Nimueh. Gaius was slumped over to the side and he saw their gazes directed at him.

"Don't worry. He's still alive. Just unconscious," the changeling smirked at them.

"You will pay for hurting my friend," Merlin said coldly, turning her attention back to him. Uther watched the exchange silently, hand gripping his sword that was returned to him when he'd come back.

"Back so soon, sorceress? You know, Gaius tried to offer his life in exchange for yours, but I told him that it was nonnegotiable. I only want yours, you see. The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies. Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life, a life must be taken. Gaius knew this."

Merlin examined her foe carefully, "When it was Ingraine who died, you did not have the power yet to decide. But you have grown more powerful since then, and now you can choose. The Old Religion did not do this, it is you. And you have chosen my death."

Nimueh shrugged nonchalantly. "He offered his life as well, you know," he gestured to Uther. Merlin glanced in surprise at him but focused back on Nimueh when the changeling moved slightly. "I'd consider his death for yours. After all, we are too valuable to each other to be enemies. I'd rather his death than yours, and then at least together we can prove useful to each other and guide Camelot to a golden era."

"There will be a golden era. You just won't be in it," Merlin pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes dangerously.

Uther had been about to interject, but Merlin was handling it fine so said nothing.

And Nimueh cast a lightning spell at her and Merlin responded by activating the bioelectricity she had been harboring around her, jumping out of the water and to the ground over it, stopping the lightning spell midway and inducting the spell into the electricity surrounding her. Uther barely missed being electrocuted by either one. He scrambled out of the fountain, dripping wet, watching as the two magic-users battled it out. He hated the feeling of being useless and unable to do anything to help, but he'd probably get in the way at this point.

The wet clothing Merlin was wearing was drying up a little from the heat of the battle and the electricity surrounding her, but Uther knew that a wrong move could cause the controlled electricity to be conducted into the wet clothing and electrocute her.

"Pity it had to end this way, youngling," Nimueh began scornfully. "You have so much potential. What a waste."

"This will end with your death," Merlin hissed, creating a huge explosion behind Nimueh as she threw a lightning bolt at her and the changeling dodged.

"Try that again," Nimueh taunted, and she was about to when the changeling pulled a fast one, changing into Arthur's form.

"After all…I am no one…important," and then he changed into Uther.

Shocked and paralyzed in it and in fear of hurting people she cared about, she just stood there and stared. And then Nimueh charged up some kind of attack, in Uther's body, and it looked strange to see Uther about to perform magic. And as she was about to be either killed or severely injured, that was a strange thought to have at that moment.

And then to have Uther, real Uther, throw himself in the way of the attack –well, that just fucked things over and brought her back to reality.

"You idiot!" she couldn't help screaming, as she scampered over to him and he was gasping out heavily.

"I'm okay, I'm okay. Your blessing made a shield and stopped it, but the force of the attack really pushed it," Uther breathed out.

"Uther, Uther, Uther. You may have the blessings of magic, but I can just as easily take it away," Nimueh sneered.

"Over my dead body," and really, this was a crazy idea and she knew she shouldn't do it and that it was dangerous…but she'll be damned if she let that changeling bastard live.

So she created a micro-scaled electrical storm behind Nimueh, letting it grow slightly and then harnessing the electricity inside of it. Nimueh sneered, but fear was growing in his eyes. He stepped back and tried to form a shield, but Merlin started to draw on the electrical build-up and then struck a magical/electrical combined lightning against it. Once, it hit the shield and it flickered, weakening. The second time the shield completely collapsed and then struck against the changeling.

Nimueh seemingly evaporated in his death, and Merlin collapsed to her knees, shaking.

Uther hurriedly ran to her side, stumbling only slightly from the effects of the earlier attack.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded shakily. "It was just too much. I have better control, but barely, and the attack took a lot out of me."

"Here," he muttered, taking a vial out of his pocket and helping her to drink it.

"You came prepared," Merlin smiled in disbelief.

"I know you enough to know that it's become your favorite attack, so I made the antidote in case. Better?"

"Better," and at least she stopped shaking.

"Let's grab Gaius and go home," he pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "It's over then?"

"Yeah…Nimueh's dead. The balance of the world has been restored."

Gaius groaned, waking up to that. "I missed a lot, haven't I? Oh, you amaze me, Merlin. You've mastered the power of life and death itself. We'll make a great sorceress out of you yet."

"So…you believe in me now?" Merlin cracked a grin, although a bit painfully.

"Like we ever doubted," Uther snorted.

"Well, I would…if you could stop this blasted rain!" Gaius rolled his eyes.

Merlin looked sheepishly at the electrical storm that had mixed in with the blessed rain of the heavens of the island.

* * *

As Merlin went to talk to the dragon, Uther slipped back into his son's room. Seeing him sleeping but thankfully alive, he was about to slip back out when Arthur spoke, actually not asleep.

"Is she back?"

Uther watched his son's back, before deciding quickly and moving to the chair he had been sitting in while praying for Arthur's life.

"Merlin's okay. She's home."

Arthur turned around to face him, a grim look on his face. "Thank you then. For whatever you did."

"It's fine. Are you alright?"

"Good. Better if I were to have Merlin. Well, at the least have her in my room."

"I'll send her over later…though she's probably already planning on coming here when she's ready."

Arthur nodded in relief. Uther hesitated, but plunged on.

"When…when you were about to die, I thought I had lost everything. You are my sole reason of being," Uther choked out painfully, though he did not include that Merlin had become that as well.

"Yeah…I, uh, heard how you reacted," Arthur said uncomfortably, hand hesitantly reaching out to touch his father's lightly. "I'm sorry you had to feel that way. I'm okay now. See?"

Merlin had said to wait to tell him the truth, to make himself look like a loving father. Well, here was his chance.

So he began telling Arthur the truth of his birth, from Nimueh's involvement, to his mother's death, to Tristan's revenge-filled anger and to his conjured wraith that Uther had fought against.

"All of that has made you the most important thing in my life," Uther held his head in his hands. "All of that pain I'd suffered and caused others to suffer with me…I had already suffered the pain of losing Ingraine. I feared I was to suffer the pain of losing you as well."

"I'm here, Father, I'm here."

And to hear those words from his son's lips made everything okay.

* * *

"You knew something bad would happen, didn't you?" Merlin asked quietly, staring at the Great Dragon.

"You said you would do anything."

"And yet you knew the price was probably my mother's life. You did know, didn't you?"

"I knew the price would be a heavy one…" at her hardened look, the dragon conceded. "And most probably would be your mother."

"And yet you sent me anyway."

"We needed Arthur to live."

"I'm not one of you," Merlin stated coldly.

"We are both creatures of the Old Religion. It is the source of your power," the Great Dragon stated indifferently.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Merlin frowned.

"Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown. And when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free."

"Is that all you care about?" Sarcasm leaked into her words. Hurt started to mix in. "I thought you were my friend."

"I am more than that. I am your kin."

"No, the only real family I have is my mother." She didn't include Uther because she knew that would exacerbate things even more rapidly. "And you almost had me murder her."

"It would not have been taken in vain. We will achieve great things together, you and I."

"You will never be released. For what you've done, I'll make sure you never see the light," her tone was icy.

She turned her back to it and began walking away.

"MERLIN!" the dragon roared, terrible anger rivaling that of when she'd broken her word and allowed Uther to use the blessed sword. He breathed a huge blast of fire at her, but she didn't even turn as she created a shield around herself and kept walking.

"You won't see me again," her voice echoed behind her as her form was swallowed up in the darkness of the tunnel.

When she got out of there, she immediately started to head towards Arthur's room. She'd opened the door and saw Uther and Arthur talking, for once amicably.

"Sorry, I'll come back later," she was about to duck out again when Uther stopped her, getting up.

"It's okay. I was just about to leave. I'll leave you two alone," he walked passed Merlin, stopping next to her and clasping her shoulder firmly, giving her a fond and grateful smile.

He left and Merlin saw Arthur watching the proceedings carefully. She could see the wheels in his head turning.

"Come here," Arthur gestured for her to come closer and sit at Uther's chair. She did him one better and came next to him, lying by his side and keeping close. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest, remembering a similar position with another Arthur.

He was surprised but pleased, and wrapped his own arms around her.

"I love you," she mumbled, burying her face into his chest.

Arthur swallowed happily and tightened his arms, burying his own face into her hair. It meant a lot for her to admit that, even on paper. It meant so much more that she would actually say it to him aloud.

Started 9/16/09 –Completed 9/23/09

no-name-angel: Thank you!


	14. The Night Falls and Descends

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S2.1 ("The Curse of Cornelius Sigan") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/???, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin, one-sided Morgana/Merlin, slight Edwin/Merlin (mostly one-sided), slight Nimueh/Merlin (mostly one-sided)...

A/n: Sorry, sorry this took so long! You have no idea how hard it is to take an episode and integrate it into your own work! Hard stuff, taking the original and molding it into your own stuff. And as a gift for all of you for sticking with me and reviewing, I'll post the first chapter of the semi/parallel sequel (The Day the Whole World Slept) as a taste of what I'm going towards later on. Not as long as the last chapter, but still long. Enjoy everyone, and thank you for your support!

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Fourteen: The Night Falls and Descends_

Morgana hadn't been well at all when Arthur had been near death. She hadn't gotten up from where she lay tossing and turning from her bed, dreaming about impossible things. Things that terrified her. Some things that she never wanted to pass.

Things were changing and a lot of it she wasn't sure she liked. But there was one change she was definitely happy with.

Merlin was sitting next to her as she ate dinner with Uther. With Uther sitting at his usual seat at the head of the table, Merlin sat to his right and then Morgana sat next to him. She didn't even blink at the change of seating, happier about it in fact. If even Uther could see something in Merlin to obviously try to put her and the servant together, then all the better for her. She was grateful and happy that Uther would do something like this, to try to bring her and Merlin closer together.

After the first time Merlin dined with them, the handsome servant would occasionally join them every once and a while. After whatever had happened with Arthur's near death experience, Merlin joined them every day. Morgana loved the new change. Her nightmares haunted her, but Merlin's presence soothe her into a calmness that took away the insanity she felt consuming her more and more every day.

Was that ever proof that they belonged together?

When dinner was over, Morgana stopped Merlin and asked for a moment. He glanced worriedly at Uther, who nodded at him. Merlin relaxed slightly and followed after her, Morgana unmindful of the exchange.

"I had more terrifying visions. They've increased since Arthur's near passing. I have not told you this…but even before you came to Camelot I had dreams of you. Well, the female you. At first, you were a loyal servant and advisor to Arthur and he is already King. Gwen, of all people, was his Queen. It was a terrible dream. You were extremely loyal to Arthur, and when Gwen actually cheated on him with Lancelot, you –you _killed them_. But when you actually came here, that changed. In my dreams, Arthur no longer had any Queen. Just you…and you were his High Sorceress, just like before. But he'd refused a Queen and ruled alone, with only you by his side. But now everything has changed. You aren't High Sorceress. Or at least not just.

"You were Queen of Camelot."

Merlin stiffened up and Morgana guessed it was with worry for herself and her sanity. These dreams were confusing her, taking away her sleep, and driving her mad.

"I have to go, Morgana. What you've been dreaming are just that. Dreams. Don't think on it, milady. Do you want a sleeping draught to help?" he murmured, touching her face gently with the tips of his fingers, so softly they'd just barely touched her.

How sweet, Merlin was.

"Yes…that would be nice," Morgana murmured.

"Then I shall send some up with Gwen in a moment. Goodnight, Morgana. May your dreams be pleasant tonight."

And then he was walking away from her, and she was not sure if she was imagining the underline danger in his movements or the clear grace. Merlin was kind, sweet, harmless and was her clumsy idiot. She _must_ be imagining it.

It would be nice if Merlin were to deliver her draught himself. Or if he were to stay the night and keep the dreams at bay.

Merlin, meanwhile, was pacing in her rooms after her talk with Morgana. Growling in resignation, she plopped herself on her new bed and stuffed her face in her new soft pillow. There was only one good thing going for her right then.

Her loving bed.

Uther hadn't been joking when he said he got her a new bed, complete with the softest pillows and blankets. She had been surprised when strange men marched into her room and began destroying her bed, taking care not to make too much noise though there was no helping at least some. She'd gaped at them until Uther appeared at her side, blinking at her.

"_What on earth are you gaping there stupidly like an idiot for?"_

"_If you haven't noticed, there are strange men taking apart my bed. What the hell?"_

"_Well, how else do you expect them to get your new bed here? They're going to destroy that one and make your new one in here. No heavy lifting and no one can see that I've gotten you a new bed."_

"_Why didn't they just tell me that?! I've been trying to ask them what the hell are they doing in my room and they've just been ignoring me!"_

"_They're being paid handsomely to keep quiet about this and to talk to no one."_

"…_**Okay**__. They're taking it way too literal."_

"_All well for me."_

_She sighed. "Where am I going to sleep then? And Gaius can't stay here while they're making all that racket. Everyone outside of these chambers may not be able to hear them, but Gaius will."_

"_I've already arranged for him to temporarily sleep elsewhere. You can sleep with Arthur."_

_She glared at him._

"_Are you really that stuck on not bedding with him? I thought you were giving in."_

"_Yes! I was! I am! But I'm not going to __**sleep**__ with him."_

"_Virgin," he snickered._

"_You are a most horrid friend."_

"_Alright, alright. You may stay with me until your bed's complete."_

_But he would not stop his quiet laughing. _

She was barely starting to fall asleep when she felt her bed dip and a kiss was planted on her ear.

"What are you doing here, Arthur?" she asked, her voice slightly muffled from her face being stuffed against her pillow.

"You forget, tonight you were to spend in my bed," he whispered into her ear, not at all sounding aggravated but more husky than he usually was with her in one those moods.

"…Right…"

He pulled back and lightly brushed his fingers against the small of her back, pushing her shirt up a little so that his fingers touched against her skin instead.

"And you're supposed to wear whatever I wanted you to."

She groaned but sat up, moving away from him slightly so that she would be able to look at him. But when she looked at him, he was holding up a small slip that was different from the usual, reminding her more of the sexier slips she'd remembered from the time she spent in the strange future.

_He didn't…_

"A gift from my father, strangely. Said that you could probably use some relaxing tonight," Arthur smirked, and Merlin cursed at Uther heavily in her head.

"No relaxing," she glared.

"Just put it on. Trust me. I won't take advantage of your trust," his eyes turned soft and she begrudgingly took the slip from him and after making sure he was turned around, began undressing and putting on the slip. Seeing him still turned around, she smiled faintly and shuffled on her knees closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind him and kissing his neck softly.

"I like this," he murmured, reaching up with one hand to hold her to him. "I like this. You and me. You letting yourself _be _closer."

She nodded, burying her face into his neck and trying not to think of anything else but his scent and the feel of his back curving into her front.

"I promise you, you will be my Queen."

She forced herself not to recoil.

"Don't think about the future. Think about now, where we _can_ be together."

She let him turn around and push her back onto her back on her bed, where he covered her in kisses. They fell asleep together contentedly, in their usual position, with Arthur holding her against him.

In the middle of the night, she blearily opened her eyes, still in Arthur's arms. Her eyes zeroed in on Uther in the darkness, who was staring at them with a strange look on his face, in a mix of pain, fondness, and remembrance.

She reluctantly untangled herself from Arthur and approached the dazed King.

"Uther?" she whispered, laying a hand hesitantly on his shoulder.

He snapped out of it and smiled apologetically at her.

"I'm sorry…I hadn't meant to be so out of it. Would you –would you mind coming with me for a little while? I promise to return you to Arthur after."

"Anytime, Uther," and he led the way, with Arthur inconspicuously watching them curiously.

"Before I came to your room, I was thinking of taking a walk around the castle, but I realized I can't with you. Someone might see. And my room is too far away. There is a guest room nearby, if we could head there?"

She just nodded and followed him, heading to a room she'd never noticed and realized was there before. Heading into it, she noticed it was just as big as Arthur's but much more extravagant in design, more similar to Uther's.

"This was Ingraine's old room before we had gotten married and were still courting."

"Really? You didn't just have her sleep in your room, like you and Arthur insist I sleep in his?" she teased.

He smiled faintly. "No…we were much more proper back then…"

"Oh really?"

"Yes…though I suppose it would be hard to convince you of that. Come, sit down," he tossed her an apple from a fresh fruit bowl and she caught it, staring at it sadly.

"You planned this, didn't you?" Fresh fruit didn't belong in an unused room.

"…Yes…" he sighed. "I just…I _needed_ to talk to someone. I needed to talk to you. You know how I feel and know me more than anyone alive. You're the only one I can really talk to –confide in."

"Speak, Uther. I am listening," she said softly.

"Even now, seeing you and Arthur in bed together, it reminds me of many memories. I am happy for you two…"

"But it is because those memories are just that. Memories."

Funny how she'd used a similar annotation for Morgana.

"Ingraine and I…we used to sleep in a similar position, never too far apart and always kept close. How amusing is it, that such things are so similar."

"Very amusing," she gave him an understanding smile.

He wrapped his arms around himself, curling in and looking like he was trying to hold himself together.

"It _hurts_, Merlin. I don't want to be…but sometimes I feel so jealous of Arthur. I just miss Ingraine so much and I wish I could have her here once more. I want what Arthur has…to be as happy as he is with you. I want my Ingraine back. It's just so _painful_ everyday without her."

She took him into her arms and let him cry on her shoulder. After a few minutes, she felt like she should try to lighten things.

"Maybe I can set you up with my mother," she muttered, rubbing circles on his back.

"I don't think that'll work, Merlin. Sorry."

"No, it's fine. I wasn't really being serious. I just wanted to say something because I didn't know what to say."

"Just hold me," he mumbled into her shoulder.

"Okay." She bit her lip before starting to talk again. "I know Ingraine isn't here…but you have the rest of us, you know. A-and you said that I was all that you had left of her, like I was your daughter with her. I, uh, I d-don't mind if you want to pretend that's really true."

"I don't have to pretend."

And her heart warmed up considerably.

Afterwards, Uther led her back, staying near the doorway. He kissed her forehead and smiled faintly at her.

"Goodnight, my dear girl."

And he left, leaving her to crawl back into bed and smuggle herself into Arthur's arms, snuggling close to him. She fell asleep, unaware of Arthur still awake and thinking, even when his arms squeezed around her tenderly.

The next morning, Arthur had to reluctantly leave her to start his morning patrol, so she went to go meet Uther for breakfast, wondering if he'd already eaten since she was way later than their usual meeting time.

But surprisingly, he was sitting nonchalantly at the table, two plates laden with food, and his was still untouched.

"Morning," she called out, sitting to his right as per usual.

"Morning," he answered back, digging in finally.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about it, but…well, should you really have changed your dinner pastime with Morgana? Especially the seating? It wouldn't do well for her to notice and start questioning."

Uther shrugged, "I wish for you to be there. And I want you next to me, at my right hand side. I feel comfortable with you near me, and your presence soothes me. I understand I have become…_clingy_ in regards to you, but just knowing you are close by, I am content and calm. And if I were to be angered, just your presence will keep me compose. Whatever anyone says, if I wish and want it so, then I will have it so."

She felt highly proud and happy at his praise and admissions, blushing happily.

"Even if I don't want to be there or be near you? Or if Arthur doesn't want it so?" she teased, but was shocked at his answer.

"Then I will go on my knees and beg of you, and I will plead with Arthur with everything that I am."

That she meant so much for him to not only admit that, but for him to mean it, made her entirely astonished and pleased.

She went through the day floating on happiness.

"Those workers are creating a racket," Merlin stated in annoyance, her good mood evaporating into the night as she glared at the King.

"They're excavating," Uther said simply.

"I can't sleep. They're making too much noise that even my nice and fluffy bed is obsolete."

"Have you tried Arthur's room?"

"Yes," she surprised him. "I went there before he did in hopes of falling asleep before I could face him, but the noise level is even worse there."

"…"

"Your room is sound-proofed. Nothing."

"Are you _hinting_ at something?" Uther smirked.

"I want to sleep!" she whined, almost pouting.

"Alright, alright. You may sleep here."

Merlin grinned in victory, "Good. Now, I'm going to check on Arthur to see if he needs anything and then I'm taking over your bed."

He rolled his eyes but she was already out the door and heading towards Arthur's, starting to hear him yelling for her. Sighing in fond exasperation, she entered the Prince's room and saw him wearily getting out of his bed, his muscled torso bare to her eyes.

She whistled teasingly.

He looked up in surprise, blushing at her grinning face and the wink she tossed his way.

"_Mer_lin," and he gave her the patented Pendragon puppy pleading eyes with his tired face and the one he knew she couldn't resist.

"I can't sleep," he complained. "The noise is too loud. Can you tell those workers to stop?"

"Those workers are working under your father's orders," Merlin held back her laugh.

"And you're working under mine. And you love me. Please?"

Merlin couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped.

"And how can I get them to listen to me?"

Arthur's mouth stretched into a wide grin. "Use your scary face! The one that makes you look a little like my father. And that sexy, commanding voice that gets people, more specifically me, to listen."

Merlin's laughter bubbled out and floated behind her as she headed to the caverns.

Her smile faltered as she first heard and then saw the workers fleeing the excavation site, running past her in terror. Scowling and worrying, she went to go investigate, only to run back out with a pale face. She went to Uther, whose smirk at seeing her disappeared as soon as he registered the unhappy and terrified look on her face.

"Merlin, what's wrong?"

"Someone's been killed in the tomb. I haven't figured out how or why, but I thought you would like to know."

"We shall go there then," Uther said solemnly.

On the way there, they picked up Gaius, who looked at the two with knowing looks.

"Hmph, if I had known the two of you were conspiring together, then I would not have bothered myself with going to Uther all the time. I would have just sent Merlin to relay everything," Gaius mock-scowled at them.

"Except she does that anyway," Uther chortled, his laughter echoing through the tunnel as they neared.

"Oh shut up," Merlin huffed, stomping ahead of them.

They entered the tomb cautiously, but apparently not cautiously enough as Gaius accidently stepped on the same booby trap the murdered worker had stepped on, causing an arrow to fly out seemingly out of nowhere and head straight for Gaius.

Merlin's eyes turned gold as she panicked and a shield flew quickly in front of Gaius, saving him from certain death.

"That could've killed me," Gaius shook his head in disbelief. "Thank you, Merlin. You've just saved my life."

She nodded, but her anxiety levels shot up again when she heard footsteps outside the tomb and she let her hold on the shield go, letting it clatter to the ground and roll to a stop at Arthur's feet. He stopped it with a foot, glancing at it and then her with a raised eyebrow.

"Quite the riches, eh Arthur?" Uther commented, adopting his usual single-minded approach to these things.

Merlin discreetly rolled her eyes, but Arthur and even Gaius bought it.

"So which of my predecessors do I owe for the find?" Uther continued, looking to Gaius.

"I'm not sure, milord. I'll have to research a bit."

Uther nodded, "Alright. You go do that."

But as both Arthur and Uther started leaving, both Gaius and Merlin's eyes were drawn to the large heart-shaped jewel on top of the tomb.

* * *

Bright and early in the morning, Merlin grudgingly but affectionately set off to do her tasks, ending with securing Arthur's horse for him. She diligently made sure the harness was extra snug and safe and then led it out for Arthur to mount.

She left the horse alone for a moment as she went to get Arthur, coming back with the Prince in tow.

At least he wasn't going to use her as a step like he'd joked earlier.

However, she watched horrified as Arthur climbed on and then fell off with the harness, the horse running away. She clambered over to him, feeling like the idiot like she was supposed to be, and confused at what had happened. She had made _sure_ the harness was strapped on correctly.

"I-I don't understand, Arthur. I put it on."

Arthur looked pointedly at her.

"Maybe that was the problem," Arthur said in exasperation.

_What?_

He knew she wasn't an idiot. She'd told him so and he'd worked that out for himself. So why was he being a smartass?

A skinny man came walking up with the runaway horse, trying to look demure, but it wasn't working that well.

"Thank you, good sir."

"It was my pleasure, Prince Arthur. Just had to straighten and tighten the straps," the loser smiled crookedly at them.

"Well then, what's your name?"

"Cedric, sir. I've come to Camelot to look for work."

"Work, you say? We need another beater on the hunt. Come on."

Merlin seethed quietly.

She didn't get any happier when on the hunt, _she_ saved Arthur and _Cedric_ got the credit. And then the little bastard wheedled his way into a position in the royal service. She still wasn't happy about it later when she was in Uther's chambers, pacing like a wildcat and generally glaring at everything and mumbling angrily under her breath.

"It's not like the fool of a man has replaced you," Uther pointed out.

"This wouldn't have happened at all if that stupid harness had stayed on like I kept it," Merlin hissed. "And I don't understand how that bloody thing came off anyway! _I_ put it on!"

Uther hesitated but then plunged on, "Perhaps you were just tired. It was just one tiny mistake –"

"I don't make mistakes! Not ones involving Arthur's health or welfare!"

He hurried to placate her, "Yes, I know that. I admit, it is very unlike you. But you never know, Merlin. There's a first for everything and you can't be perfect all the time. Now…put it out of your head for now and –"

There was a knock on the door and Arthur strode in as soon as Uther bid him enter. Merlin frowned and got a wicked idea in her head, moving quickly to Uther's side and grabbing onto his arm possessively, leaning ludicrously closer and causing Uther to be flustered. Arthur's face didn't change.

"Ah, Arthur. There you are. Uther and I…were just _talking_," Merlin purred uncharacteristically, throwing a smile at Arthur that was closer to a sneer.

Arthur was still smiling, but looked a little confused –even if unquestioning.

"Oh…well, I was just here to report on the grain store, but if you're busy I can come back later."

Uther opened his mouth to say it was okay, but Merlin cut him off.

"Yes. We're very busy," Merlin said curtly, pointedly threading her fingers through Uther's and stretching their arms out to lay their clasped hands on the table in plain view, watching Arthur with an unflinching gaze.

"Um…okay…I'll just…come by later?" It came more as a question, but Arthur was genuinely getting confused by Merlin's actions.

Once he'd left, Uther stared at her in disbelief.

"Did you just…use me…against Arthur?"

Merlin glared at the table, viciously taking her hand from his so that she could cross her arms across her chest.

"So?"

"_You_ came on to _me_."

"It's not like you didn't do the same thing to Arthur before. And you had some half-assed, weird and vague answer to why. What's your problem?" Merlin asked irritably.

Uther stared.

"It's _different_. I _knew_ I was going to be hitting on you and all that. I was able to be decisive and made myself determined for it. You came on to _me_! I didn't even get forewarning!"

"Quit complaining."

"But I like to be in control…"

"Shush!"

"But –"

Merlin angrily grabbed his lunch and began violently cutting up his meat for him.

"I'm hungry," she muttered, still tearing into the meat and feeling tears prickling at her eyes.

"You can have some of my lunch," Uther offered. "I should've sent up another full plate of food for you. But I'm not all that hungry anyway, so just have mine."

"Why?" she snapped at him. "You lost your appetite because of me? Am I that deplorable?"

"No! I'm really not that hungry," Uther said in a weak voice, confused by her.

She sniffed and felt the tears finally fall, her shoulders shaking with the effort not to cry. Uther saw her and pulled her in for a hug, letting her cry on him.

"Your son's such a prat," she sniffled, clutching onto his front.

"So I've been told. Repeatedly. By you."

And the amusement in his voice cheered her up a little bit.

It didn't get any better the next day. She'd decided she had been overreacting, so she was going to get Arthur his breakfast, smile and maybe even feed it to him like a sap. But then she'd come in, and Arthur was smugly eating a table laden with food (much more appetizing and fulfilling than the pathetic plate she'd brought in), with Cedric at his shoulder.

She'd felt so _useless_ and _insignificant_.

And now she was stuck mucking out the stables. It was just great. She could feel her jaw working furiously as she fought back her anger, which would consequently combust something with her magic if she wasn't careful.

Then smoke filtered in and she blacked out.

She woke up to a see a frustrated Arthur above her and no horses around.

"He's a good servant, milord. But he might be overworked and tired. You could give him the night off and I could take over?" that weasel offered.

A hint of worry entered Arthur's eyes, and Merlin sneered.

"Don't you dare worry about me! It wasn't me. I'm fine. Can't you see what he's trying to do? He's trying to get rid of me," she glared at him full force, making him wince.

"I understand one mistake, Merlin. But you keep making one after the other. Perhaps you _are_ tired. I know you aren't incompetent, much as I am loathe to admit and especially as insulting you is a favorite pastime," Arthur threw in with a teasing smirk and as a icebreaker (and so _Cedric_ wouldn't get too suspicious of their relationship). It didn't work. "But you're not invincible."

She felt the mud sticking to her cheek, remembered the ridiculously embarrassing times he'd brushed her off or practically scoffed at her, and the upsetting hurtful way he was doubting her. After _everything_. After all that she'd done for him, was careful and meticulous when it came to _him_. It said much for the faith he had in her.

"To hell with you Arthur Pendragon," she hissed. "I _quit_."

And she turned on her heel in the Pendragon way, leaving without a glance back.

She had never felt so humiliated and degraded in her life.

She stomped to Gaius', ignoring his questioning eyes as she headed straight for her room.

Gaius entered through her door, a wet rag in hand. He quietly rubbed the caked mud off her cheek as she silently fumed on her chair, eyes embarrassingly wet with tears.

"Merlin?"

"I am not an idiot," she muttered.

"I know you aren't. What happened, dear?"

"I just want Arthur to trust me and see me for who I really am. After everything, after everything I've done for _him_, that he would doubt me –that he'd take the word of a stranger over my own…If he loved me so much, why would he not believe in me? If I say something, why would he distrust it? I have never led him astray. Everything I do is for him and he will never understand that."

"One day he will, Merlin. You'll see," Gaius murmured comfortingly. He laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, before leaving her to her thoughts.

He could feel the light pulse of magic behind him, indicating that Merlin had used a strong form of magical lock, telling him she didn't want anyone else to intrude.

Most specifically Arthur, who could and probably would use brute force to break down the door.

But he'd come face to face with Uther, who seemed like he had just been hovering near the door, eavesdropping.

"I take it things have gone worse?" he asked Gaius.

Gaius tiredly nodded.

"I was going to talk to her, but I think it best I go talk to my son…"

"Yes, that would be best. Merlin doesn't want to talk to anyone right now."

"Alright…thank you for telling me about Sigan. Usually, Merlin would report to me, but she seemed preoccupied…"

"I have not yet told her about it. I wouldn't want to worry her, especially since there seems to be a lot on her plate."

"I understand."

Uther went to his chambers first, surprised to find Arthur there already.

"I think Merlin's upset at me," Arthur told him right away.

"You think?" Uther asked dryly.

"So you went to see her?"

"No, she's locked her room and doesn't want to talk to anyone. But she said something before and I overheard her talking to Gaius just now, before she barricaded herself into her room."

Arthur winced, "She quit. On me. I didn't think that was possible!"

Uther raised an eyebrow, "You admit then, how loyal and faithful she is to you?"

"Of course!"

"Then why are you choosing to believe this…_Cedric_ over Merlin? She told me that you'd promise to always believe in her and etcetera –hm, around the time of the unicorn incident, wasn't it? I don't believe you do. Or have been. If she says she's fine or she did something or didn't do something, you believe her at face value. I know her enough to know that she says what she says, and if otherwise then Merlin has good reason for the lie. If you were sure of her loyalty and faith to you, then it would not be in question."

What with Merlin's future self radically living for the sole purpose of serving Arthur, and the fact that it seemed Merlin was now rapidly approaching that level of devotion, it wasn't confusing to understand why Merlin was upset –on top of the usual reaction one has to being questioned and having another being chosen over oneself.

"I didn't realize…I do trust her. I believe in her more than anything. I worry sometimes and I don't know what she _can _do. It isn't like I've talked to her about it and there's a lot of things she keeps from me. I mean, I _don't_ know how truly capable she is anyway. It's not like I'm being kept in the loop," Arthur said slightly bitterly.

Uther rolled his eyes at his son's attitude, "With the way you overreact in regards to her, I'm surprised you didn't when she practically threw herself at me the other day."

"Oh, that's because I've finally figured out what you two are to each other."

The King blinked. "And what's that?"

Arthur shrugged, "You look at Merlin the same way you look at Morgana. Just…different somehow."

"This…is an odd complication. I had no idea how truly close this servant girl has come to the royal family," Cedric's voice said, as the man slowly walked towards them from the entrance.

"Cedric, what are you doing here?" Arthur asked in annoyance.

Cedric smiled, "That is my business." And he waved a hand and chanted something under his breath, causing Uther and Arthur to stiffen up and unable to move.

"Merlin, was it? Ah, I hope she'll enjoy this. I _was_ going to make this quick, enchant some things, terrify and kill people, and take over Camelot, but I see an irresistible opportunity. But first, allow me to introduce myself. I am Cornelius Sigan."

Both Pendragon's eyes widened, Arthur having been briefly reprised on Sigan not too long ago that day.

"You see, this pathetic vessel found out about my little crown jewel in my tomb some time ago through a moronic worker. Cedric wheedled the information, found out the key was kept with the Prince at all times except at night –where you then would put it away in your room where no one but your servant could enter, and then the little weasel managed to devise a particular astounding plan to manhandle his way into becoming your servant. First, he'd loosened your harness when your servant, who, looking through his memories, I could easily tell was actually a female, came to fetch you which left the horse alone. Then, on the hunt, he took credit from the strangely powerful and accurate throw _Merlin_ threw to save your life. And at last, she mucked out your stables, only to have horrid Cedric toss in a concoction of sleeping gas into the stables, causing the poor girl to pass out and the horses to run away. Tonight, as you put away your keys before leaving to come here, the little thief actually managed to gain a hold of the keys finally and came across my jewel where I then possessed him.

"Now…I told you I looked through this idiot's memories, and I say –how _unappreciative_ and _ungrateful_ you are towards one who shows such unconditional devotion and love towards yourself. Merlin seems to care about you a great deal, and once someone dazzles you with better care, flatters you non-stop, kisses up to your royal behind, she is cast aside, her devotion forgotten, and insulted and put on. You say you just worry about her and is unable to be sure of her capabilities. It isn't just that, dear boy. She isn't really showy with her devotion, is she dear Prince? Not like Cedric. And you so do love attention…"

Arthur was mouthing a lot of things, but his voice was gone. But it wasn't hard to discern the flashes of emotions on his face, from anger, indignation, shame, guilt, and remorse.

"Would you like to know what I'm going to do?" Sigan asked in a sickly sweet voice. "The little girl toy of yours has caught my interest. I have all the time in the world now, having conquered death. So Camelot can wait. I think I'll take time to play a little game and manipulate your Merlin. I think it'll be a challenge, if your earlier conversation implied as much. And the only way to get her is to push her away from you, and to _me_."

Sigan muttered another incantation.

* * *

Merlin unhappily moved out of her room, refusing to see or serve Arthur. Instead, she went straight to Uther, contemplating perhaps serving him. She entered the King's royal bedchambers, seeing him already at his mirror, attempting to tie and adjust his cape again with a scowl.

A fond smile playing across her lips, she quickly crossed the distance and swiped his hands away, doing it herself.

"Really, Uther, you shouldn't be having this much trouble –"

Merlin flew a distance away, landing awkwardly on her right arm, pain shooting up it as her face stung. Uther had just _smacked_ her across the face…

"Who are _you_ to address and touch me so familiarly?" Uther glared down at her, eyes so, so cold. Just like in the beginning.

Merlin stared. Then she clenched her jaw and gingerly got up, demurely keeping her head down.

"N-no one, milord. I apologize. I have no idea what had gotten into me," she said shakily, not looking up.

"That's better. Now go on and retrieve my breakfast. You're late," Uther ordered coldly.

Merlin nodded and left.

She didn't want to face Arthur either. Not just because she was still upset with him, but also because she was afraid he would have changed just as completely as Uther had.

She was so confused. And hurt. Uther had _never_ hit her. Occasionally threatened her in the beginning, yes, and even that incident where he'd almost choked her had been a loss on his grip on his anger and had been more of a reaction than anything. But he'd never just casually hit her.

And now she was stuck serving him breakfast. Which she should be having with him. And obviously wasn't.

Things didn't get any better as time went on. Since she was apparently stuck serving Uther and she'd never formally resigned from her post as Arthur's servant, she mainly served Uther and occasionally took over any extra tasks Arthur needed and Cedric couldn't or wouldn't do. And while Uther was cruel, abusive, and insulting, Arthur never acknowledged her once. It was like she didn't exist or that he didn't even know her.

She didn't know who was worse.

And so she went on through her days miserably, feeling alone, hurt, and wretched. She was so lonely. She missed talking and joking with Uther. She missed his teasing. She missed Arthur's kisses and smug smiles. She missed his warm touch.

_She missed so much._

Merlin didn't know what had happened. But she was too miserable to even think about it.

Her only light seemed to be Morgana, whose strange nightmares seemed to be coming back, worse than before. Gwen had dealt with it at first, but Morgana had requested for Merlin the night she had dreamt of a raven.

"I should get you a stronger dose," Merlin had murmured.

"Like a blow to the head?" Morgana had asked with eyes full of tears. "I'm sure Gwen wants to. I'm going mad, aren't I?"

"No. Whatever happens, I'll be here. I promise you, Morgana, I'll be your guardian angel," Merlin continued murmured assurances into Morgana's ear as she held her and brushed her hair with her hand comfortingly.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

And so Merlin relieved Gwen of her night duties, tending to Morgana after every nightmare, soothing her and making the dreams seemingly go away or at least dulled in intensity.

The days passed. And the days passed. And the days passed.

"_Come, idiot! Am I or am I not King?" Uther hissed. "What are you serving me? This isn't fit for a King!"_

"_Useless and moronic imbecile that you are, you could at least do the simplest of tasks! My bed is fixed completely wrong! This is how a commoner fixes their bed. Did no one teach you how royalty has their bed fixed?"_

_An indifferent gaze from Arthur. A look that passes over her. A stare that looks right through her._

"_You there, polish my shoes for me," Finally, an acknowledgment. But hurtfully and strangely no sense of recognition._

"_What is this? __**Rat**__? Are you trying poison me? I am the King! I would have you hanged if I couldn't be bothered to search for another servant."_

_Another indifferent stare._

"_Fool servant! Where are my clothes? Have you forgotten them already?"_

_Another see-through look._

"_Ass! My sword! What have you done?"_

_Words, words, words. Indifference. A slap. Bruises on her arm from painful holds. _

_These were not her men._

* * *

It wasn't like Uther really gave a damn. Merlin was just a different sort. He was still just a servant. But for some reason, he felt attached to him and he couldn't explain why he felt so close to him and trusted him so.

He even felt twinges of guilt when he would hit Merlin or insult him for something or other the boy had done or hadn't done. And then he would get irritated at the way he was acting and double his harshness with the servant.

"There is no God in a world full of sinners_._"

Uther's head whipped around, to see Arthur's new servant walking towards him, Arthur trailing behind with a confused look on his face. Cedric smiled cruelly before swiftly knocking Arthur out.

"I told her that once. I remember her now…Merlin. She was such a sweet, sweet girl. Lived in a small village. Powerful too, I remember. Even from beyond the planes, I was drawn to this earthly world when I felt the pulse of her power come into being. Magic like that –_no one_ can ignore. Dead or not. Part of my spirit that wandered the world, hoping to reunite with the rest of myself trapped in the jewel on my tomb, had been content to traverse the beyond. And then I felt Merlin's magic, which called out to me like sanguine temptation. So sweet and delectable…Do you remember it all now, King Uther?"

And the spell broke and Uther remembered the past, the missing part of himself he hadn't realized was missing but felt fulfilled whenever Merlin was near. And that she was female, his most trusted confidant, and his _daughter_. And he remembered in horror how he'd treated her under Sigan's spell.

"I'd come to her, feeling how powerful she was and how she'd called to me, but though she had power she had yet to use it or acknowledge it. She was five, and I found out she had performed her first bit of magic only days ago. The very same time that had alerted me to her presence. And I realized her first outburst of magic had scared and confused her so much that she'd instinctively put a powerful block on it. Powerful magic users could still feel it, but she herself wouldn't be able to use it. I thought 'Now, that isn't good.' And I forcefully pried that block away and let her magic run free and wild. I became her first teacher and taught her to be the jaded and calculating girl you know. I must say, knowing now that you have had a hand in her development, that you've done a good job molding her even more."

Uther glared angrily at the sorcerer, disconcerted when Cedric's body began to change form. Sigan looked less like Cedric and more like the description he'd heard from Gaius of how Sigan was said to look like. His blond hair was cropped short and his gray eyes were glinting maliciously at him, Sigan standing at a towering height of 6'8".

"A changeling like Nimueh then?" Uther spat out.

Sigan's handsome face contorted into a terrifying visage, furious all of a sudden.

"Nimueh, huh? That thing isn't worth my time. And I am no mere changeling. I am an all powerful sorcerer, Fool! I can do whatever I wish –including using my magic to force my former vessel's body to reimagine itself into my image. Though I do admit, I am a bit younger than when I had died…"

Arthur groaned, starting to wake up.

"Hm, resilient that one. No matter. Wake up, boy. I have one final act to play upon, and you two shall be witness and in fact party to it," Sigan waved a hand, silently incanting something and forcing Arthur to move and sit at the table. Then, with a cruel grin, he silently incanted another spell, similarly taking over Uther.

"I'm going to take over both of your bodies. And then, while you're aware and unable to move your own bodies, I am going to enjoy the scene while controlling your actions." The sound of footsteps caused Sigan's grin to widen, before he wiped his face of emotion and sat on his knees in the corner, prostrate and making himself look tired but an obedient servant.

Merlin entered, looking tired herself and carrying Uther's breakfast tray.

"Your breakfast, milord," Merlin stated unemotionally.

Uther's body leaned casually against one of his bedpost, watching her closely, while Arthur sat still in his seat, never turning to see her.

Merlin trudged closer, setting his tray on the table and glancing only once at Uther's new and unfamiliar servant sitting quietly in the corner. Suddenly, Uther was behind her and had twisted her arm behind her back and had slammed her face against the table, her body kept bent over it as her face was faced towards an indifferent Arthur. Tears immediately sprung up in her eyes once more and she was starting to contemplate blowing her cover and just use magic to get her out of this situation, even if it would reveal her to Arthur.

"I wasn't aware that you were really a woman," Uther hissed into her ear, adding pressure on his hold. "You could be killed for your deceit, girl."

Merlin froze. Uther did know. And the past instances began to make sense.

"Who is the sorcerer responsible for bewitching Uther and Arthur Pendragon?" Merlin asked in a cold voice, not moving from her forced position.

Slow clapping was heard.

"Well, well. You are just as clever as Uther knew you would be. I bet the old fool hoped you would pick that up, just as they've probably been screaming in their heads for themselves to do something to break out of my spell," the man in the corner slowly got up, gray eyes were twinkling with fake gentleness.

"And what kind of spell were you using?" Merlin asked with the same tone she'd been using.

"When I first enchanted them, I used a combination of two spells that would create amnesia and bring out the worse in people. Hence, the lack of _affection_ towards you lately. Shame, shame. But it was necessary. I see now, that such a method would never work against you. You are far too clever to be tricked, at least for long time."

Merlin nodded against the table once, and then she suddenly pushed back against Uther and twisted out of his hold, running away.

"Now where do you think you're going?" he asked in amusement, shutting the doors and locking them.

Merlin turned to him with a sneer.

"Nowhere."

"That's right. _Nowhere_."

He strode closer, threading his hand through her hair gently with a soft smile, before roughly tightening his hold and yanking her head up, making her cry out.

"Silly girl. You may be powerful, but I am more," he whispered into her ear.

She took a deep breath, before glaring up at him with teary eyes.

"We, my dear, are going to get married. And then we will rule Camelot."

Her eyes widened and she started struggling even more, trying to get away from him.

"We'll marry tonight. A night wedding. And I'm thinking I'll have Prince Arthur as our personal servant. Irony, no? You served him, now he'll serve you. And Uther Pendragon will be publicly executed in two week's time, just as I've heard he's been publicly executing magic-users. We'll start our rule off with a bang."

He pressed a pressure point at her neck and knocked her out.

When she woke up later, she was still in Uther's room, with Arthur, Uther and the frightening sorcerer gone. She panicked and got off the bed, stumbling as she realized uncomfortably that she was in a dark silk dress.

To hell with this. She wasn't just going to stay there and get married to that man. And there was no way she would let Arthur and Uther suffer under that stranger's spell –hurt or upset as she was with them.

If that man was smart, he would have magically locked the door and window. Then that would mean she was stuck in there.

Unless she did one hell of a last stand blow.

So closing her eyes, she stood in front of the door and began reaching into her magical core, gathering up her magic for a pure magical blast that would blow that door apart. Hard to explain, but she wasn't going to _be_ there to explain.

Having enough energy, enough to know that she could black out any second after (she'll have to time this, probably around a ten minute time limit…), she thrust her hands out and blast the doors with her magical energy.

She began running.

No doubt, with the huge amount of magical energy, that sorcerer would have been alerted. And the sound of the blast would have had the guards coming after her, if they were forced to work for that man either through enchantment or through threats.

Her time was cut by three less minutes.

That meant she would never make it out of the castle. She had to find somewhere in the castle she could hide in, just long enough to regain her energy. She reluctantly headed to the caverns.

"I did not think I would see you again. You said it yourself," the dragon's bitter voice rang out in the cavern as she trudged in.

She glared at it.

"I am only here to regain my energy. The castle isn't a good place to hide in right now. A…sorcerer has taken over."

"Good," the Great Dragon commented unconcerned.

She snarled at it, "He is an evil sorcerer! Albion will never be the place of golden dreams if he were to rule! If you only care for the rule of magic, then you are no better than he! A fool without morals! Nothing but an immoral, spineless fiend!"

The dragon roared and narrowed its eyes at her.

"You are not but a child! You have no idea of the true horror of the rule of man. Do not lecture _me_ on the rights and wrongs of the world."

Merlin didn't waver, staring it down, "Burn in hel –"

Her time limit was way overdue and she collapsed, fainting from magical exhaustion.

The dragon angrily waved its tail, striking the ground several times and then heading it towards her, stopping an inch before it were to strike her. The dragon breathed heavily, but grudgingly tenderly held her with its tail, bringing her closer and laying her in the circle its tail created around her. The Great Dragon stayed quiet and watched the entrance with a solemn gaze, like a silent sentinel watching over its charge.

When she awoke this time, it was to this that her eyes opened to see. The dragon didn't look at her, but it spoke as soon as she was completely aware.

"You cannot face him now, this sorcerer. You do know who it is, don't you?" its voice was grave.

"No," she whispered, suddenly feeling the serious atmosphere weighing down on her and realizing just how serious things were.

"Sigan. His name is Cornelius Sigan," and when she froze up in fear, the dragon nodded somberly. "You know him…He remembers you as well. He is especially skilled in silent casting. Not like your silent casting, of course. He has to think of the spell or mouth it, where yours is instinct down to the core. You need only think of the want and need of something to happen and it will happen. But the similarities is what caused him to be a very important and necessary teacher to you. No matter –you will not be able to recognize his spells if he does not speak them. That is why you must prepare. I will not only gift you with the knowledge of the spell that will help defeat him, but I will also gift you with the knowledge on how to recognize his spells by using your magic to touch upon his and realize his intent in each spell.

"This is not something that you can just instinctively use. You must take the time to practice them so you will not make a mistake and to be completely careful. Therefore, you cannot leave here and confront him straight away. You must leave, take the time to prepare and learn what you must learn. It won't take long, considering your prowess in magic. But consult your dead sorcerer."

Merlin furrowed her eyebrows, "You mean, Edwin?"

"Yes. He may not have sufficient power for these spells or an exact understanding of them, but he may be able to help you through them or at least help you to figure them out. Be cautious, young sorceress. Sigan is a powerful sorcerer. In ways, more powerful than even Nimueh. Do not be careless."

She understood. Both Sigan and Nimueh had more experience and power over her. She needed her luck and to keep outsmarting her foes. She knew that she had more power than either of them, but she only had a portion of her own power under her control. Her cleverness and planning would have to make due.

"In return, however, you must promise me something."

Merlin closed her eyes. She already knew what the promise was.

"And if I grant you this promise?"

"That is not of your concern."

"It is if your release from here causes me to allow you to break my trust and force me to truly become your enemy."

She stared at it with steely eyes.

"Would you Camelot fall?"

No, she couldn't let Sigan win.

"I promise."

The deal was made and the dragon breathed on her, gifting her with the knowledge he promised.

She couldn't afford to be caught now. So she prayed with all her might as she stole through the castle in the dark of the night, and ran through the streets of Camelot in abandon.

* * *

"_There is no God in a world full of sinners."_

"_Little one, you need only to __**feel**__ for you to grasp."_

"_Such power…what fortune has been bestowed upon you. You are blessed with such a gift. You are special, Merlin Ambrosius. And you shall be my ultimate work of art."_

"_For us, little one, we have no need for such insignificant mortals. Where there is no God, we make ourselves the very image of __**He**__. In the end, in this mortal plane, if there is to be a God, then it is true that of all magic-users –we are all Gods."_

"_She loves us, the Lady. Magic is all our Mistress, little one. It is true of us all, especially for yourself and I, with the power we hold."_

Merlin woke up, tears in her eyes. For the past couple of days, she had been having her memories of her past with the bodiless voice which had haunted her childhood, the one who had come to her as Cornelius Sigan and taught her from the moment her magic manifested.

Whispers in her ear, telling her all sorts of things and making her question her sanity. When she'd entered Camelot, they had gone away. But now, she was haunted by the memories of him.

"_Will! Stop teasing me!" she giggled as her friend tackled her and pushed onto her bed, continuing his tickling assault._

_She kept laughing, slowing down as Will stopped and just lay on his side, facing her with a fond smile. Involuntarily blushing, she returned the fond smile as Will brushed back her hair._

'_Don't let him touch you! He is not __**worthy**__ of such a privilege!' Sigan's voice hissed in her mind._

_She sat up abruptly, confusing Will as she squeezed her eyes shut and curled her knees to her chest and rocked herself back and forth._

"You're awake. And reminiscing…Well, since you're awake, let's get right back to work," Edwin's voice interrupted her musing, thankfully ignoring her tears and her distraction. In fact, he was willingly providing a distraction from her distraction.

"Alright, Edwin. Let me just clean up a bit," she muttered, wiping a hand down her face.

She hurried and then it was back to work.

Merlin practiced and practiced until she was exhausted, mentally thanking the gracious family that had taken her in after spotting her huddling in a corner in the lower levels of Camelot, fancy and strange dress full of rips and tears, dirt and grime, and a face smudged with filth. She had no idea how she still ended up smelling good though.

She ate with the family every meal, offered her services for whatever they needed (though they never seemed to need much and were just happy to take her in), and spent the rest of her time single-mindedly practicing with Edwin's help.

Sigan was on the move.

"Hey Mary, have you heard what's going on?" Alice, one of the daughters, asked her worriedly. "The harsh rulings lately haven't been by King Uther. Apparently, a sorcerer has gone into the castle and taken control. _Cornelius Sigan_! I heard from Papa, who remembers his name, that he was some sort of really powerful sorcerer."

"Yes, yes he was," Merlin murmured as Rosalie joined in the conversation, mentioning that Sigan was supposed to be dead and that his powers supposedly helped build Camelot, and when he'd become too powerful, the King at the time had him killed.

So…Sigan was finally moving forward. Other than setting a curfew, limiting food distribution, and having Camelot knights patrolling the streets day and night frequently, he had not made an obvious move to reveal himself or to stake his claim of power to the public.

Merlin had almost finished. Soon, she knew things were going to get ugly, but she'll be ready.

"Can you tell Carlisle that I will be back?" Merlin asked softly, both sisters nodding at her. She passed by Jasper and Emmett on the way out, giving them a small smile. She began making her rounds, speaking to the people who made up her small faction and were already unhappy with the limitations. And with the little announcement that morning about Sigan's usurping of the throne and the castle, she had no doubt she will be gaining quite a bit more followers. Once Sigan made his big move, she will have the little Resistance.

By the end of the day, she had more than a dozen joining her. By the end of the week, she had people clamoring to join in floods. For Sigan had finally announced Uther's execution.

And by that time…Merlin was finally sure enough of her abilities.

She began organizing her faction more. Since she and her group had kept quiet, Sigan had no idea of their existence. So she continued to work quietly and underground. Holding meetings at random times, never the same and never with the same people, using her magic to scout out weakness and unreliable or potential traitors.

She used a cook to send a message to a Camelot servant who would then send it to a Camelot cook who would then send it to Gwen. Gwen who would pass it on to Arthur if he was the same person.

This was usually how she communicated with everyone, using a line of people so that it had less of a chance to get intercepted. But this was the first time she had ever sent a message into the castle. She hoped it would work.

She had also finally informed the family she was living with of what she was doing. They hesitantly accepted it, the boys readily joining, the daughters, choosing to support her but stay out of it, and the parents still welcoming her.

She was ready to raise hell for Sigan.

In the week leading up to Uther's execution, while Sigan had enchanted golems and the stone gargoyles on top of the castle to life, Camelot knights and servants forcefully locked inside while he had faithful and mindless soldiers at his fingertips and ready to just be created with a whisper, Merlin and her group started their reign of anarchy and rebellion. Every time a gargoyle came by, they'd throw fireballs that Merlin had secretly reinforced with magic and would then destroy the animated statues. The golems were harder to destroy and many knew they could and would die in the attempt. Merlin couldn't easily use magic in this case without exposing herself. Therefore, each person throwing themselves in battle with them, would use sword, knife, shovel, whatever weapon in reach and desperately try to erase the 'e' in the word 'emet' sketched upon each golems' head, causing them to deactivate.

She knew she could save a lot of them if she just used her magic, but this was a small-scale war they were launching and she could not afford to be exposed. Sacrifices had to be made.

Merlin could not afford to soften her heart for them.

* * *

_Gwen,_

_If Arthur is not under Sigan's influence (ask him if he believes the unicorn's death was a sad event –if he answers yes, don't trust him. If he answers or mentions that the unicorn came back to life, then show him this letter), help Arthur form an revolt inside the courtyard of the castle. Talk with the other servants, cause a racket with them inside as Arthur and his knights battle against Sigan's sentries._

_Mary_

Gwen stared at the letter confused, having been handed it by the main cook of the castle's kitchens. She didn't know a Mary. The closest would be…Wait, could it really? _Merlin_? He must be behind the rumored resistance on the outside of the castle walls, destroying whatever they could of Sigan's guards. He hadn't been seen close to a week and a half.

And because of her group, all of the gargoyle guards were destroyed.

Sigan was stalking through the hall of the castle, angrily ordering around the people and threatening all within reach as he created golem after golem. Those were harder to kill so he preferred those to the animating of any statues left around.

Hurrying to do Merlin's bidding, she caught sight of a moping Arthur.

"P-Prince Arthur?" she hesitantly asked.

He turned to look at her with a weary gaze. He and everyone else were free to roam around, but were helpless to do anything. Or more hopeless. And the King hadn't been seen since the week before, his last appearance around the same as Merlin's.

"Yes, Gwen?"

She swallowed nervously and asked him about the unicorn, who gave a confused but right answer. So she shared the letter and instructions from their missing love, and the light that had been missing from Arthur's eyes lately was back again. The fight that had died with Merlin's disappearance was relit in the young Prince, and Arthur felt more empowered with the simple words and the indication that his Merlin was still alive.

The two could feel they didn't have long to wait until Merlin was back.

Days later, on the night of Uther's execution, Merlin was once more putting to good use the sword lessons Uther had taught her, as well as the specific moves Arthur had taken the time to teach her. She cut through and swung and viciously sliced through the golem ranks, wiping e's as she ignored the blood splattering on her from the golems. Blood from the creator made them stronger, but Merlin herself was powerful.

And as she fought the golem sentries, she and the little army she created around her, people who fought just as hard if with less skill, she hoped Arthur and Gwen were making headway into their own uprising.

She successfully fought her way into the castle, hearing the clamor of others rebelling around them. There had been humans who had chosen to side with Sigan as well, but they'd been kept to the castle. No matter. The rest in the castle were fighting back and would cast judgment on them.

A little beforehand, Arthur and his knights were struggling to put up a good fight, surprised that Sigan actually had leftover animated gargoyles left to fight them. Without Merlin's magic, they were harder to destroy, as evidence by the many fallen people by Arthur's side.

Unluckily, he didn't notice the gargoyle at his back, but Gwen appeared and she did.

"Arthur!" she screeched as she tackled him to the ground.

"Sorry, my lord," she winced.

He groaned in pain as both of them got up.

"No, thank you. You saved my life."

She smiled wryly at him. "I couldn't let you die. Merlin would be upset. Though…it would be a good thing because then I get to be closer to him."

Arthur snorted, "Nice try. Maybe you _should_ let me be knocked off next time so you can have Merlin all to yourself."

Gwen lightly laughed as they ran hurried together into the castle. "True, but…Seriously, you promised me that you would live for Merlin. You can't die then."

The solemn tone in her voice caused him to give her an understanding and serious look in return.

They made it into the castle in the same time as Merlin had, though they were separate ways from her. Surprised that Sigan was nowhere to be seen and that they were able and freely using the hall to tend to the wounded (and they excitedly realized that there were many there from Merlin's faction, which meant Merlin was somewhere around), Gwen sat Arthur down and began to help dress the wound he received outside, the two of them talking eagerly about finally getting Merlin back and getting to see her/him.

But at the same time, Merlin entered above them, skidding to a stop on the bridge that connected the hall behind her to the hall on the other side. She gazed at them in first surprise before grimacing and watching in pain.

"_Gwen, of all people, was his Queen."_

It would be best, Merlin realized. Gwen and Arthur would make for a more balanced kingdom than the fantasy of her ever staying together with Arthur. It wouldn't be right. Her and Arthur would never be right.

Gwen and Arthur was perfect.

So she ran, continuing to her destination with determination, ignoring the tears that wanted to fall.

_I'll love you always, no matter what_.

Uther's chambers in sight, she barreled through them.

"Mutiny and unrest! _Commoners_ daring to fight back! Against _me_!" Sigan ranted, pacing angrily.

Uther stood blank-faced in front of the open doors of his balcony. He saw her and his eyes lit up as he allowed himself to slightly sag with relief.

"Your execution will be simple," Sigan hissed. "I'll just throw you off the balcony. No grand execution for you, King Uther. You're not worth the effort."

"Actually, there won't be an execution at all," Merlin stated coldly, startling Sigan from his livid tirade.

A smile actually formed on his lips.

"So the prodigal daughter returns. I look forward to this fight," Sigan immediately then thrust out his hand, causing a huge snake to appear and with amazing speed, slither towards her with its deadly fangs poised to bite.

Merlin took the borrowed sword and swung it, warding the snake off. Then Sigan began firing off his silent spells one after the other. She forced herself to remember her lessons, splitting her focus between the snake and identifying and then fighting off his spells. Realizing she was getting nowhere and that she had to come up with something quick to defeat Sigan before she ran out of energy or was gotten the best of, she threw herself to the side roughly and held up her hands in surrender.

Sigan stopped, looking at her curiously.

"What now, _little one_?"

She winced at the nickname, but stood up and straightened herself, staring him in the eye.

"I-I…give up," she whispered. "I realized some things. I'm so tired of it all. Of everyone. Of being unappreciated, of having to hide who I am. I want to freely use magic. I want to be respected. If I agree to rule with you and marry you, will you swear that I will have all of that?"

Sigan's mouth twisted into elated glee.

"Of course. That and more."

"Then will I be able to have Arthur as a consort and Uther at my feet?" she forced herself to really look like she wanted this.

"_Yes._ Whatever you ask, little one, and I shall give you." Though he seemed reluctantly to let her have Arthur like that and keeping Uther alive.

She gave him a smile, walking closer until she was right in front of him, leaning against him as her hands lay splayed against his chest.

"Really?" she whispered.

"Truly."

And she slid the his heart-shaped jewel to touch upon on top where his heart really should be, and muttered the words the Great Dragon gave her to enchant his soul back into the jewel. He screamed as he was sucked back in, body morphing back to become Cedric, who fell and lay at her feet vacant-eyed and dead.

She stared unemotionally at him, unnoticing of Uther moving hesitantly and awkwardly behind her, not knowing if he could come near her after everything.

* * *

All of Camelot, from the city to the castle, was celebrating the fall of Cornelius Sigan and their successful revolution. Wine and other such alcohol were making rounds, loud partying and cheering surrounding the area from alley to corner to courtyards, and kisses and dances exchanged.

Merlin sat in a lone tower, balancing on the railing as she overlooked Camelot with a resigned and lonely gaze. Her shoulders sagged as if burdened with a heavy weight and her mouth was set in a tired frown.

In all the merriment, Merlin had never felt as lonely as she did then.

Not even in the time of Uther and Arthur's seeming abandonment of her.

Arthur was out of her reach. She should have known. She would never be able to stay with him like that. He was never meant for her and she shouldn't have even entertained the idea. His road lay with someone else, and she had to trail behind dutifully. And while she would love him for as long as she could before she had to let him go, as she had promised him, she knew and was ready to let go of him when it was time.

It would be his destiny and Gwen would be good for him.

_Let me love you for as long as I can. Don't fall in love too fast._

She cried her tears, burying her face into her hands and letting her tears stain already blood-stained hands, body shaking in emotion.

He would stop loving her in time and find the one he was meant for all along, but she would never stop loving him. For as long as she lived, even after his love for her had died, she would stay in the shadows as was her place, loyal and loving until the end. Even if it hurt, even if she was in pain the entire time, she would suffer for him.

There was no question about that.

But she was so tired. Tired of people, tired of her destiny, tired of what awaited her in the end. She just wanted to give up.

"_We're not meant to live amongst these common mortals. We're meant for so much more,"_ Sigan's voice murmured into her ear as his ghostly form leaned against her back and wrapped his arms around her neck loosely, haunting her once more.

She _loved_ Arthur. It wasn't fair. It _hurt_.

"_Power is a lonely road. Those who seek power, abandon everyone and all else. Those with power…are left to live and die alone."_

Merlin cried even more into her hands.

Started 10/2/09 –Completed 12/29/09

_**Don't have to read unless you're curious to see my insanity in rant-esque:**_

Mwahaha! I totally had this huge blockage. I had like the beginning portion of it written, and then BOOM! Nada! Zip. Zilch. I had the whole sorcerer, amnesia, etc. planned after first season, but then the second season came and I watched the first episode. And I was like _huh_. I knew what I could do for the first episode, and I'll just postpone sorcerer et al for later. But then came to actually getting to writing it. And nothing. Blah. Blah, blah, blah, meeeep! Sooo, I procrastinated as usual. Then I recently rewatched episode S2.1 and then KABOOM! Looney Tune style. I swear. I thought original idea plus episode, then I can move on with my original plans with Sigan and have what I wanted for the chapter. And I finally have this blasted chapter written.

_And_ at least I gave a reason for Merlin and Arthur's relationship to suddenly degenerate and start sort of at square one. After everything in season and one Arthur is still a prat. Clotpole.

(sniggers)

And if you want to know how I imagined Cornelius Sigan, think Leoben Conoy from Battlestar Galatica, played by Callum Rennie. Just veeerrry taller.

And don't suddenly start freaking out. No, I'm not suddenly making this Arthur/Gwen. Just…no. No offense to those who do like them together, but…no. They just have no chemistry to me, and they aren't being developed well at all. Their sudden like of each other in season 2 would be much more believable to me if they had started their attraction _early_ in season 1, instead of suddenly putting them together at the end of it and then all this in your face stuff in season 2.


	15. The Once and Future High Sorceress

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S2.2 ("The Once and Future Queen") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/?, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin, one-sided Morgana/Merlin, slight Edwin/Merlin (mostly one-sided), slight Nimueh/Merlin (mostly one-sided)...

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Fifteen: The Once and Future High Sorceress_

It wasn't merely that her mind had been plagued by the recent past. It was that everything was coming together and collapsing around her, and she was just quietly letting it.

Sigan still whispered into her ear from time to time, but she forced herself to the present. She should've known he would reattach a piece of his soul to hers, just like he had in her childhood. But at least most of him was in that jewel that was once more buried, and he didn't have a physical body.

Still, she herself hadn't truly fully recovered from the ordeal, though she was quiet about it and went about as normal. If anyone were to notice, it would be Uther and Arthur.

When Arthur had taken to ignoring her under Sigan's spell, she'd missed his attention, his love, and just him. So now, even if a bit distant and aloof at times, she sought after him and did whatever he wanted, paying extra attention and care to him. She'd described it like a reaction to an addiction. She needed Arthur and when he'd ignored her for so long, it was like going through withdrawal. And now that he was back, she'd gone to him like she needed another fix. She was okay with that, because she wanted to savor being with him for as long as she could before she had to step aside and let Arthur go.

It was different with Uther. Instead, she'd reverted back to that scared little girl who was afraid of him and of being executed at any moment. So instead of sticking to him like glue like she'd taken to Arthur, she'd avoided the King, only appearing to report on the goings-on.

She knew that was going to haunt her.

Because now she was being summoned.

"You've been avoiding me," Uther stated calmly.

She didn't bother denying it.

"Are you…is it about when I was under Sigan's spell?"

Merlin averted her eyes away from him, giving him his answer silently.

"You _know_ I would never have done any of that willingly! Please, Merlin! Tell me you believe me!" Hearing the sincere grief in his voice made her wince, but the fear and resignation had all been too real back then.

He got up from his throne abruptly, heading over to her quickly and she involuntarily flinched. He saw and he froze in his tracks, a stab of pain shooting through him. He proceeded more cautiously, but he didn't back down. He surprised her when he went on his knees in front of her, and took her hands in his, bowing his head over them.

She shivered. Too alike from that horrid nightmare.

But then shock ruled over her once more, surprised that Uther would actually go on his knees in front of her and act as submissively as he was. And again…for _her_.

"I _told_ you I would go on my knees and beg you. I beg you for forgiveness. I beg you for your return to my side and your companionship. I beg you for your advice and comfort. I beg…" he faltered and looked up, pleading with his eyes. "I beg for my daughter."

She hesitantly hit his head lightly, but she made the effort because Uther was being sincere and this was really rare of him to show any kind of emotion or admitting how he felt.

The King bowed down for no one. And yet here he was, on his knees for her.

"Idiot. Just say you missed me. You don't have to go overboard," she joked weakly. He was still looking solemnly at her so she sighed and allowed him to tentatively hug her, freezing up only slightly but refusing to show any other signs of fear for his sake. "I know you wouldn't have done any of that, but it didn't change that it happened and it was yours and Arthur's faces I saw. It may have been Sigan behind it all, but I saw you and Arthur. And that won't change. Ever," she reluctantly admitted.

Uther was silent.

"I swear on my son's life, let it be binding, that I will not or ever harm Merlin Ambrosius, of my own volition and or with the intent of harm. If I am under the enchantment of another or I need to act as so, then I am exempt. So shall I swear by the roots of Gaia, and my life is forfeit if I dare rescind my word in any way with the intent of harm," and Merlin glowed briefly gold before the glow turned into a small string of golden light wrapped around Uther's body, briefly tightening and then disappearing into sparkles that disintegrated into the air.

Merlin stumbled away from his embrace, gaping at him.

"W-what? How? Magic can't be used by those who don't have magic in them. The potion you sometimes brew for me doesn't count because magic really isn't required for it; some of the ingredients are already magical. But you…you said an _Oath_…"

"I didn't know how else to convince you. So I went to Gaius for help. He'd said that as long as the person I'd made the oath to was a magic-user then I would be able to do it. A typical oath has the oath taker's magic monitoring them, but in this case I 'borrowed' some of your magic to take the oath and that piece of your magic will be the one monitoring me and ready to enact the consequence if I fail to uphold my sworn oath. I just had to reword it to fit my non-magical heritage…"

"Never mind how impossible and incredulous that sounds, but…about your rewording. On Arthur's life…?"

Uther nodded solemnly, "You know how important he is to either of us, so you know how serious I am about my oath. And um…was I right to swear by Gaia or should I have sworn by Camelot?"

"No, not Camelot. The Oath itself is still magical and magic being performed, so swearing by Gaia is correct. But…do you know how _stupid_ that was, to swear a binding magical Oath? That was incredibly dangerous, Uther. With your misfortune and if you were to lose your temper, the Oath will still be upheld. You were smart to include the exceptions. Still, Oaths are ancient magic. Not too many who practice magic now know about it –not unless they were of the Old Religion or were taught by someone of the Old Religion. How would you know of them anyway?"

Uther shrugged uncomfortably, "When…_Nimueh_ was here, as Court Sorceress, she made many visiting warlocks swear on their magic to not harm myself or Ingraine, explaining much of your customs to us while she was in our service. Funny how _she_ never made those oaths."

"I see," but Merlin really was oddly completely calm and secure –much different than when she'd first entered.

"Are you…are you still unsatisfied?" he asked hesitantly.

"No. I think I'll be okay. But…you know you're even more of a hypocrite now."

"Sacrifices to be made, darling."

It was such an Uther thing to say, in his usual blunt and abrasive manner. But it was also bittersweet, in its reminder of a future and an Uther that Merlin would've liked to have stayed with and lived in.

But she gave him a confident and genuine smile, something she hadn't given him for a long time since Sigan.

She left Uther in a better mood than she'd had in days, searching out Arthur and finding the Prince in only his trousers and rummaging through his closet for a shirt.

"You're late, Merlin," but she could hear the smile in his voice.

Instead of greeting him, Merlin quickly turned him around and slammed him against his wardrobe, smirking inwardly at the switch in positions. She followed by pushing her mouth against his, eagerly kissing him and taking charge, keeping her hands against his shoulders to hold him there and surprising him with her strength. After aggressively kissing him, she moved her mouth to tenderly kiss his neck, letting him grab her hips and haul her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing him to carry her to his bed.

He laid her down reverently, and went back to kissing her. But instead of upping the passion, he slowed down and languidly kissed her over and over. Then he pulled back and looked at her tenderly.

"Hey, hey. What's the rush, sweetheart?" he asked softly.

She swallowed, gazing at him and trying to brand his loving expression in her mind.

Gwen and Lancelot would never happen because Merlin would be there to make sure of it. Gwen wasn't magical, so no one would rebel against one holding so much power in a seat of more power. And the prejudices towards a magical person such as herself would never haunt Gwen.

Better a commoner than a sorceress.

So if the difference in social class wasn't a problem, than Gwen would be a perfect substitute, someone who wouldn't manipulate Arthur so readily as Merlin at times was wont to do. Lancelot wouldn't be a problem, not if Merlin was there to tightly control things and keep a watchful eye.

Besides, she didn't know a thing about ruling the kingdom. If she were Queen, she would run it to the ground. Advising Arthur was one thing, helping to rule was another. She wouldn't know what to do in that predicament. That's not including Morgana's vision of Gwen being Queen (she was pointedly ignoring the fact Morgana saw _her_ as Queen as well, in a more recent and updated vision). That vision could still come true and Arthur could still fall in love with the other girl, and Merlin didn't want to get hurt like that. She had to prepare herself for such a time.

And it's not like she could split her attention into so many responsibilities. She was good, but not that good. She couldn't focus on advising and protecting Arthur if she had to focus on the kingdom's welfare as well, and that wasn't adding in the fact that her entire devotion was almost completely dedicated to Arthur and she cared about him above anything else (including the kingdom). Not a very healthy fact for a Queen to have.

"Arthur…just let me love you for as long as we have time," Merlin smiled sadly at him, confusing and alarming him.

"We have all the time in the world," Arthur murmured, trying to be reassuring.

She just pulled him down and buried her face into his neck, inhaling his scent and wanting to keep it with her forever.

She never wanted to let Arthur go.

The next day found Merlin listening to Arthur rant to her in indignation about that day's jousting practice. Having realized that he was being treated differently because he was Prince, Arthur was outraged and eager to prove he could win the tournament without special treatment. Normally, Merlin would listen with half an ear and roll her eyes at him (and conveniently remind him about Valiant and that tournament), but she was still in that same mood from yesterday. So instead, she listened and smiled in support and gentleness.

It was only when Arthur actually came up with a plan and had told her all about it that she started grimacing and had her mind racing to find a way to dissuade him.

But he looked so eager and she wanted him to cheer up…

It was too late anyway, with Merlin still torn over the issue, when Arthur approached Uther and began spouting about some magical beast roaming the nearby woods.

"It has the body of a lion, wings of an eagle, and the face of a bear!" Arthur announced dramatically, and Merlin stifled a laugh and tried to refrain from face palming.

However, she did sweatdrop and her lips were twitching upwards suspiciously.

Declaring that he would be leaving the next day and missing the tournament, Arthur left to get ready while Merlin stayed behind and stared down the King.

"What is he up to?" Uther twitched.

Merlin finally let out a small snicker, before explaining his son's plans.

"Please watch out for my fool of a son and make sure he doesn't try to do anything more idiotic," Uther grumbled.

She gave him a mock salute, leaving him behind to go after Arthur. Settling things so that they could stay with Gwen in incognito, Merlin figured it was going to be a long stay and hoped they wouldn't burden Gwen too much.

* * *

"This is a little awkward," Merlin muttered, sitting at Gwen's table, across from Arthur.

Arthur hummed happily.

They were eating chicken together, alone in Gwen's quaint house and it all seemed very domestic in a commoner sort of way. Arthur had, unknowing to Merlin, lent a guest room to Gwen to use while the two of them stayed there and had it excused as the maid being too busy with her duties, whenever Merlin asked about the other girl's absence in her own home.

"Do you like the chicken?" Merlin asked, cringing in worry.

"I love it," Arthur said pleased. "And especially because it was made by you. Not bad cooking skills, Merlin. Maybe I should make you my cook instead of my manservant."

Merlin smirked, "Sounds good. Less duties to do, less time with you."

"Nope, never mind. I was just joking," Arthur said hurriedly.

Merlin laughed and Arthur grinned along, happy to see Merlin less in an odd mood like she's been. Though she had become more affectionate and willing to be with him lately, it had also worried him because of the accompanying sorrow and longing mood that she was usually in. He was happy that she was more affectionate, but not at the cost of her happiness.

"I just want you happy, you know that?" Arthur told her.

She blinked and blushed, smiling back contentedly at him.

Unfortunately, that was when Gwen decided to interrupt, causing Merlin to be worried and Arthur to be irritated at the spoiled mood and ruined moment, though he became worried as well when he saw how serious Gwen looked.

"I'm sorry to interrupt anything, but this is from the King. He says it's urgent, Merlin," she handed a folded piece of parchment towards the sorceress.

Merlin tentatively took it, scanning the contents and stiffening up with each word.

_Arthur in danger. See me now._

She grimaced and stood up abruptly.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked in alarm.

Merlin hesitated, but just looked at him seriously and silently communicated her pleads to him. He clenched his jaw, but nodded in understanding, becoming reluctantly used to being on the outside while being in the know. Still, just because he wasn't in the loop didn't mean he hadn't caught on. Just by what he saw, he could tell that something was afoot and he had to be on his toes. He wasn't completely going to be left out, and he definitely would make sure of that.

"I'll be right back. Gwen, could you stay here and keep Arthur company while I'm gone?" she asked, trying not to sound too obvious about her underlining reason why she asked.

Gwen nodded, and Arthur forced himself not to pout. Even if Merlin had expected something, anything out of this little moment –she would be sadly mistaken. Instead, the two worried over her and speculated on what could be going on and if Arthur had something to do about it.

In the meantime, Merlin had rushed to Uther's side, who was busy pacing anxiously in his rooms.

"What's going on, Uther?"

The King's face screwed up upsettingly, but he willed himself to speak.

"There is an assassin after Arthur, named Myror. He's highly renowned in that realm of expertise and I worry for Arthur's safety. King Odin has sent him in response to Arthur's killing of his son in a duel. I fear the assassin is already here."

"Damn," Merlin pursed her lips. "What a pain."

Uther nodded in agreement, procuring something from the side and setting it down gently onto the table. Merlin stared in surprise.

"What on earth, Uther?"

He shrugged, "Lemon pie to cheer you up and motivate you for this? I'm working on the chocolate pie, but I think that will be awhile before I can correctly reproduce the delicacy from the future."

Merlin snorted, but happily dug in, needing the comfort food.

"I cooked that myself, you know. So do a good job and make sure Arthur's safe and alive."

"Will do, Captain," Merlin sing songed, already happy with the pie and ready to take on this assassin.

The next morning, at the tournament, William the Farmer (funny guy, he is) came back into the tent and they helped take off his armor. Right before Arthur was about to put it on, Merlin stopped him and smiled encouragingly.

She kissed him in front of both Gwen and William, surprising but making Arthur happy. Pulling back, Merlin kept her smile on her face.

"For luck," she told him.

And then she decked him right at the temple, knocking him out.

The other two in the tent gaped at her, and she just shrugged at them.

"Stay in the tent with him, will you? I have business to take care of, trash to take out," she said nonchalantly, shrugging on the armor.

After a second, Gwen stumbled forward and fumbled to help her with the armor, as William grabbed Arthur and hauled him over to a safer area for him to lie down at.

"Do I want to know, Merlin?" Gwen asked her friend.

"Nah, I don't think so," Merlin said. "Just take care of Arthur for me."

"Alright. Be safe," Gwen went on the tip of her toes and kissed her cheek, and Merlin smiled awkwardly at her.

"Wish me luck!" Merlin waved behind her, putting on the helmet before going out of the tent.

Gwen sighed, "I wish I could have given her a good luck kiss too."

William just stared at her strangely.

Merlin, however, was very nervous. She'd never jousted before and the fact was, she was going to be up against an assassin. A highly regarded and trained assassin. And she was going to have to take care of him. With a helmet that didn't fit on her at all, and was so loose it felt like it was about to fall off at any second.

Ah, crap.

You see, she figured that Myror would try something like this. Kill Arthur's last opponent and take his place. That's why she'd knocked Arthur out and decided to take his place. Looking back now, she wasn't so sure she could do this or that this was such a good idea.

Getting onto Arthur's horse, Merlin prayed to Gaia and swallowed down her nervousness. She'd hoped that her sword skills would help, but jousting was vastly different than fighting with a sword. She wasn't swinging the damn thing around.

The time came and when she was confronted with the assassin, which she was completely right about (seeing that she saw the body in the other tent and this guy was aiming to kill), she got in a lucky shot before the assassin could actually get her and she winced at the fatal jab she gave him. She knocked him right off with the force of the blow, and she slowed her horse down, hearing wild cheering and applause.

Then her helmet came off.

The crowd silenced and stared, and she just laughed nervously.

"Ah, Sir William of Daira…has a sprained wrist…so I, ah…substituted…for him," she explained haltingly, her voice carrying over the silence.

The crowd erupted into cheers again and she sweatdropped. She saw Morgana clapping enthusiastically, while Uther was stuck frozen with his lips in between a smile and twitching like he either wanted to exasperatedly grimace or laugh.

The next day, after the commotion was just beginning to die down about a servant winning the tournament, Arthur was called to see his father. He still rubbed his aching head occasionally, missing more Merlin nursing him back to health and being sweet with him in apology than any actual pain left. His pride was more hurt than anything, but that was soothed over with her kisses.

"Father, you called?" Arthur grumbled, wishing he was back in his room.

Uther smirked at his son teasingly, "Feeling better yet? Or is your head still hurting?"

Arthur grumbled, "Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want. So tell me why you're calling me when I could be with Merlin?"

Uther rolled his eyes, "She won't be there when you go back."

Arthur glared at him suspiciously, refusing to pout in front of his father.

"Why? Where'd she go?"

"She's gone to do something for me," Uther waved it off dismissively, furthering Arthur's irritation. "No, I want to give this to you."

Then his father pulled out a cerulean cloth-covered object, unwrapping it to reveal a beautiful crafted glass sword. Arthur's mouth went dry and he was filled with confusion.

"This was your mother's," Uther murmured. "And it is yours to give to Merlin as a betrothal gift."

He handed it over carefully to his son with both hands, and Arthur tentatively accepted with both hands also stretched out.

"See to it she receives it when you think the time is right."

Arthur nodded and hoped he could give it to her soon.

And while those two had that moment, Merlin was currently facing King Odin in the neighboring kingdom, a sneer plastered on her face as she had Uther's sword placed casually and yet somehow threateningly on her lap, as she sat on the King's throne. King Odin was sweating, backed against the wall. Merlin just smiled cruelly and nimbly got off the throne, stalking after her prey like a predator.

"Try that again, King Odin, and I shall come after you with a knife to your neck."

King Odin nodded hurriedly.

Merlin just tapped his nose with the flat of the sword playfully, in an ironic mocking way.

Started 12/30/09 –Completed 9/3/10

A/n: Short and sweet. Ugh, too short for me though, looking at it. And it just seems very anticlimactic. So sorry if it doesn't really satisfy you all. At least there's Merthur fluff, right? And sorry it took so long. I _really_ didn't care for episode 2, and was kind of floundering and being unmotivated on what to do with it. It's been awhile since I saw that episode either, and I didn't even want to rewatch it to finish this chapter. It was just very boring and dry for me (and I didn't care for the Arthur/Gwen moments either –too quick and undeveloped, as I keep saying, and I don't care for them together). The best part of the episode was 'Sir William'. So this chapter is probably missing bunches of the episode content and quotes itself. Bleh. (pouts)

The semi/parallel sequel to this is out, if you haven't checked it out already. It's called The Day the Whole World Slept.

And I'm so, so sorry! I really love you all and that you guys love this so much. It's late and I'm being so lazy that I can't even reply to all of you like I usually do! I'm so sorry again! Please forgive me! Just know that I love you all as well!


	16. Dreamcatcher

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S2.3 ("The Nightmare Begins") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/?, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin, one-sided Morgana/Merlin, slight Edwin/Merlin (mostly one-sided), slight Nimueh/Merlin (mostly one-sided)...

**The Day the Whole World Went Away**  
_Chapter Sixteen: Dreamcatcher_

Merlin shifted restlessly in Arthur's arms, slowly wriggling out of sleep. A feeling of something wrong was starting to bother her into wakefulness. Suddenly, her eyes snapped open and she slid harshly from Arthur's arms, running barefoot out of his room and through the stone halls of the castle. Arthur had been startled out of sleep because of her, but took a moment longer before he fully woke up and realized she'd run and then for him to run after her.

When he caught up, Merlin was in Morgana's room, putting out the fire that had consumed that part of the area. Morgana stopped screaming a little after he arrived, not paying attention to him and continuing to watch Merlin. Guards came and soon enough, Uther had arrived as well.

"What's going on here?" he shouted.

Merlin didn't say anything, stony-faced as Arthur just looked confused and Morgana was still quietly crying.

"Well?" Uther demanded.

Morgana finally spoke, sniffling. "I woke up and my room was on fire. A candle must have fallen and the curtains were lit."

"Or lightning struck the tower," Merlin interrupted, tone neutral. "The window's been burst open. Perhaps the lightning struck too close to the window and shattered it, along with striking the curtains."

The guards were murmuring to each other, finding the explanation acceptable. Arthur didn't find anything suspicious with it either, though he found it odd that Merlin had somehow managed to wake up and come here in time. Uther, however, was studying her closely, eyes narrowed. She gave an imperceptible nod.

"Very well. Let us sleep the night and come back to this in the morning. Morgana, perhaps you can sleep in Arthur's rooms…just in case this _was_ an attack," Uther's suggestion put everyone on edge and Merlin could see Morgana stiffening up.

She frowned inwardly to herself, making sure not to show any emotion outside.

When everyone departed, Arthur glancing back at her in worry, it left only her and Uther in the room.

"What really happened?" Uther asked, scowling around the room. "Was it sorcery? Did you sense someone here?"

Merlin sighed, avoiding looking at him. He noted the action. "I did sense something and it was what woke me up and allowed me to get here before too much damage could be done…But I saw what was happening. In my dream."

He looked at her curiously, stopping his angry observation of the room.

"A dream? Was it one of your prophetic dreams?"

She winced. "A bit, only it was happening at the same time…"

"Well, what happened?"

This time, Merlin looked straight at him seriously. "You don't want to know, Uther."

He was taken aback. "I _don't_? Of course I do. Stop that nonsense, Merlin, and tell me what the devil actually happened."

"Have you…have you ever had any suspicions about Morgana?" she hesitantly ventured.

Uther glowered at the floor, speaking with a bitter tone that seemed permanently attached to him when speaking of Morgana. "You mean the ones of her plotting my death? Or the sympathies she has with magic-users?"

When she didn't answer, Uther looked up in surprise and saw her looking at him solemnly.

"Try a step further," she told him gently.

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to work out her meaning. She could see him slowly coming to an understanding, before staring at her in horror.

"No…just no. That cannot be –"

She sighed tiredly and started to walk passed him, grasping his shoulder comfortingly.

"Tomorrow, Uther. Sleep tonight and just think tomorrow."

She did not relish revealing Morgana might have magic to him, especially knowing he still cared for the other female greatly. Although, on her part, she actually knew the Lady had magic without question. For now, at least, she could allow Uther a little doubt.

The next morning, there was a slightly smaller congregation in the room. Uther was interrogating Gwen about the candles in the room, with Arthur backing her up.

"She could've been burnt alive," Uther said, glancing at the blackened area. A quick look to Merlin for his thanks before he went back to looking around the room and getting to the bottom of things.

"As was said, lightning struck the castle roof last night, that could've started the fire," Arthur said, bringing up Merlin's explanation. "One particular strike could very well have been dangerously close to Morgana's room."

"Perhaps," Uther said softly.

"What other explanation is there?" Arthur asked in confusion.

"Someone started the fire deliberately."

Gwen let out a small gasp, but Merlin gave off no reaction. Inwardly, she sighed and winced. So, Uther was going into denial, was he? It seemed he was going to refuse to see Morgana as a witch.

"Gwen, can you look after Morgana and make sure she's alright?" Arthur asked the servant girl.

"Merlin, carry this," Uther tossed his sheathed sword to her. "Follow us."

"Yeah and carry this," Arthur took off his jacket and tossed it to her.

She refrained from rolling her eyes at the obvious excuses they were using to have her follow them, and not look suspicious to everyone else. They were King and Prince. It was practically mandatory she follow them anyways.

Then again, she wasn't like most servants and most servants didn't tend to follow around their masters and mistresses everywhere, like she did.

"How did they reach Morgana's chambers unchallenged?" Uther asked, glancing behind him to make sure Merlin was following and that she was listening in and hopefully taking mental notes.

"I don't know. There are too many guards. It shouldn't be possible," Arthur frowned.

"And yet they managed to do so," Uther growled.

"I can't explain it," the blond almost shrugged, but stopped halfway.

"Well I can. They used magic. Arrest all those we have under suspicion," the King ordered.

Merlin flinched and stopped short, staring at Uther's back.

"That's gonna take time," Arthur tried to tell his father.

Uther stopped in the middle of the hallway, putting his face right up to Arthur's.

"My ward has been attacked. Time is something we do not have."

Merlin cleared her throat, bringing the attention to her.

"I'm sorry, milords, but I've forgotten the laundry. I'll go check on it now. You can send me to the stocks later!" she said as she turned and practically ran away, having not even been able to summon her usual 'idiot' voice for the act.

She missed their worried looks.

Later, as she frantically started doing and then redoing Arthur's bed over and over, she was interrupted from her thoughts.

"I don't think I'm quite sure of how many times you've done that," Arthur's unsure voice spoke up and she whirled from the bed to face him, watching her from the door.

She looked away from him, averting her eyes to the window.

He came over to her and pulled her to him, and she let her weight sag against him.

"Merlin…what's wrong?"

She felt for the bed and sank into it, before glancing at him under hooded eyes.

"It's…nothing."

Arthur scowled at her, but she spoke again. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," he said wryly, giving her a look.

He rubbed her arms up and down comfortingly and she relented a little.

"I'm worried about your father," she admitted.

And yet, she didn't know if she was worried about Uther, _for_ Uther…or because of Uther. Her thoughts and emotions were a mess.

Arthur hmmed in thought. "Perhaps you should go talk to him then. You have the perfect excuse –you still have his sword."

Arthur grinned down at her as she blushed.

"Right. Okay…I'll do that later. Thank you, Arthur," she kissed him briefly, smiling to herself as she darted out of his reach and ran out the door, grabbing Uther's sword while she was at it.

"Tease!" he hollered after her good-naturedly.

She headed to Gaius' first, and stopped in her tracks as she listened uneasily to the private conversation between Gaius and Morgana. Her suspicions, at least, were confirmed. Her dream of last night had been true. Morgana was responsible for the fire and seemed to have some magical talent, though Gaius for some reason was denying it.

She waited until Morgana had been gone awhile before entering Gaius' quarters, taking a seat as Gaius started making a potion.

"I was helping clean up Morgana's room earlier," she started out.

"Hmm?" Gaius hadn't even bothered to look in her direction.

"The window was blown out into the courtyard below," Merlin kept going.

"Hmm." Oh, he was definitely ignoring her prodding now.

"It's odd, isn't it? If lightning struck the window like Arthur said, you'd think the glass would've fallen inside of the window. It was magic. You know it was. More importantly, so does she," Merlin cut to the chase.

Gaius paused in his brewing. "Morgana knows nothing for certain. And it is, as you said, lightning could have struck close to the window or even directly at it, which makes more sense for the window to have been burst into the room…unless the lightning came from above and ran a current downwards that would have led to her window."

Merlin glowered, very much like Uther the night before. "Which makes it even worse. She isn't sure what's happening to her and it's tearing her apart. And all of the glass would not have ended onto the courtyard –her room is high up. The glass would have landed on the slants of the roof, or at least most of it. Only some shards could have landed down below."

This time, Gaius stopped and turned to her, giving into both arguments. "What would you have me do?"

"Talk to her. Tell her she'll be ok. Tell her that her powers aren't something to be afraid of," she insisted.

"I can't," Gaius stubbornly said.

"Maybe I could speak to her," she suggested and Gaius recoiled from the suggestion like it had been a snake.

"No, Merlin, you can't."

"Why not? I understand what she's going through," she became as stubborn as he.

"You must never reveal your secret. Not to anyone."

"Uther already knows. At least –if not me, then someone else," she kept at it.

"Who? This is a kingdom where magic is outlawed, or have you forgotten that? And Uther will be seen as a hypocrite for harboring a magic-user –it'll be chaos asunder, even if it is the Lady Morgana! And that is nothing to say of him and yourself, and if that ever got found out –_you_ he actually knew about!"

"There are those who still practice it. What about the druids? You said that they help people like this," she refused to give up, though it looked like it was going to be hopeless against Gaius.

"Uther's vowed to destroy them. The druids cannot help her. It would be suicide," he said firmly, and she reluctantly knew that was true.

"Then who can?" she became desperate for him to give her an answer that hopefully could calm her mind and some problems that hadn't to do with Morgana (at least in part). They were issues she had been trying to ignore since last night, and especially that morning, and had vehemently pushed aside and pretended hadn't existed. But they were there…

"I will. Like I've always done," but she hadn't been given that satisfactory answer she needed. Nothing that answered Morgana's, much less her problems.

"Then you need to be honest with her," is what she answered instead.

"What makes you so certain that you know better than me?" Gaius gave her a disgruntled look.

"Because I went through the same thing. I know exactly how she's feeling right now," Merlin glared back.

"You cannot get involved in this. No good can come of it. I mean it, Merlin. Stay out of it!"

Merlin huffed and didn't say anything else, huffily going back to polishing Uther's sword. Gaius glanced at it and then her, raising an eyebrow in amusement, and she just started polishing it even more vigorously.

When she was done with that, she picked some flowers and made a bouquet, deciding to head over to Morgana's with her gift now. Her room should be fixed up by then…

On the way there, she was caught by Arthur, who looked at the flowers she held with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, are those for me?" he waggled those very same eyebrows at her. "I admit, it's very unusual for the girl to give the guy flowers, but –"

She gave him the 'don't be stupid' look and he pouted.

"It's for Morgana," she said shortly.

He looked at her in surprise, and just the slightest of jealousy, even though he knew it was unfounded.

"So then you really _do_ like women, my love," he pouted harder, before he leaned towards her for a kiss.

He missed and he opened his eyes in surprise, seeing Merlin farther away from him and looking around nervously.

"Mer –"

"Arthur, you can't do that," she said urgently. "We're in open space," she said, as if that would explain everything.

Unfortunately it did, and Arthur reluctantly nodded. He told himself to be patient and to bide his time. Soon. Soon…

Damn it all, his _father_ approved –who the hell cares about everyone else and their opinions? Especially since his father, again with the emphasis on that, approved and he would have thought his father would be the first to object, had it not been for this secret little alliance he and Merlin seemed to have. And hell, if the King approved, his opinion would be the only one that mattered anyways.

"I'll see you later," she murmured, brushing passed him purposely, letting her hand briefly touch his before she was as gone as her touch had been.

Arthur sighed to himself.

Merlin, after that, made her brief visit to Morgana's chambers to drop off the flowers and inquire after her. Then, with a more hesitant preamble, she went straight to Uther's with the intention of only returning his sword.

But when she got there, she froze and was unable to do just that. Instead, she stared at him.

"Room's always been more comfortable to do paperwork in," Uther said suddenly, not looking up from his work and having caught her quiet entrance, even though she hadn't made a noise.

She had wanted to be a coward and drop off the sword before running away as if she had never been there.

"I've been doing it a lot more in here, since you've come into the kingdom," he noted. "Is that my sword you ran off with? Come to return it then?"

Merlin silently came over and handed it to him.

"Polished perfectly," he remarked in amusement, smiling softly. "I can even see my reflection clearly."

And yet she stayed silent. His smile died down and he watched her warily, hiding his worry.

"Speak your thoughts freely," he assented.

She looked away, and she knew that everyone seemed to be doing that a lot since Morgana's troubled night.

"You would not like what I have to say."

"How would you know? You have not spoken."

They traded stares, before Merlin broke away first.

"I know because I know you," she said calmly, which was far from what she really felt.

Uther watched her for a moment. "That you do. I bid you to speak still, however."

"Morgana is a witch, or has great potential for magic. There is no if, or, or buts about it. She went from having powerful visions as nightmares at night –to going beyond being a seer and potentially utilizing magic. Her dream last night caused her to awaken frightfully, stirring up the magic deep in her, to lash out and make the flame from a candle flare up and catch the curtain –before she managed to shatter her window outwards."

Uther went silent as well before he gazed out his window.

"I see no evil, I hear no evil, I speak no evil," he murmured and she flinched.

"To which interpretation am I supposed to look to?" she said, voice not meaning to be bitter but ending up as.

Uther blinked in surprise before looking at her in apprehension.

Wearily, he spoke to her. "If I don't acknowledge it, such evil, such blasphemy will not spread. The old proverb says 'Do not listen to evil things so they do not influence you. Do not read things that are evil or look upon evil things so they do not influence you, and lastly do not repeat verbally evil things so they cannot be spread about.' I cannot see Morgana a witch, and so I won't be influenced by such thoughts and reflect it. We will be spared of evil –of magic in this case."

"Or see the adage as what everyone usually sees it as now –to look the other way from impropriety, feigning ignorance of such things. _Turning a blind eye_," Merlin said stoically.

"Yes, I know you think that is what I am doing," Uther frowned.

"Isn't it?" she said testily.

"Perhaps," he murmured.

Merlin pressed her lips into a hard line. "You cannot see her a witch, but it is cold, hard fact that Morgana is magic. There is no sparing of it. You cannot be spared of it. So will you now turn a blind eye to her?"

"Don't advise me now, Merlin. Not right now…not on this. I can't…" Uther grimaced.

"Will you?" she insisted.

"As I do you?" he clenched her jaw.

"Why use 'evil'? Why that choice of word?" she reluctantly switched. "Do you still see magic as evil, despite all that I have done to persuade you otherwise?"

Uther gazed down at his hands, not answering her. She was about to speak out again, her patience waning, when he started to give her his reply.

"If Morgana has magic…and her potential is as great as you claim…does that not worry you?"

Merlin became confused, looking at him in question.

"I did not start this war on magic, as Nimueh had claimed. It had long started before I became King. As Gaius has told you, there were plagues of sorcerers and the truth was, most of them used their craft for dark deeds. In that time, I was friends with Nimueh and trusted her so. I did not hate magic. It was after becoming King and marrying Ingraine that things began to change. It was sometime after that I was pressured to uphold my duty to provide an heir to the throne. Ingraine and I tried, as I have told you…and we soon learned she was barren. We went to Nimueh. She was our friend. She would help us.

"She did not tell us everything. She only said there were grave consequences to be beheld, but _both_ Ingraine and I had made the decision to go through with it. When Ingraine died in consequence, I became blinded by grief and rage. That is when I started to hate magic, and I started _The Great Purge_."

"And ended the war on magic by being the forceful hand that tipped the scales," she whispered.

"Yes. But then, as I realize now, that I went too far afterwards. I kept going, even though the war was over. I gave no chance to any other magic-users. They were all like _Nimueh_, in my mind. Treacherous, all of them. I am only glad that at least she only came to have the power to choose whose death now, than when she gave us the choice then. Such another layer of betrayal…and the lie…would have made my wrath beyond redemption."

Merlin reserved to keep her thoughts on the matter quiet. She did not want to be the one to reveal to him that perhaps Nimueh had always had the ability to choose. She'd harbored these notions for a long time, even before she'd offered her life for Arthur's when he'd been bitten by the Questing Beast. Such a power does not come from the sorceress or sorcerer gaining more power, but as a High Priestess or High Priest of the Old Religion. It is gifted by the Old Religion, as part of the ability of mastering life and death, and so the choice to be made is made by the one to perform the rite.

Nimueh had lied to all. She'd _chosen_ Ingraine. And Merlin didn't want to contemplate why, considering that if the High Priestesses and High Priests of the Old Religion truly were able to see into the future…if Nimueh had chosen Ingraine and purposefully set out to allow for The Great Purge and a future of the Once and Future King and a united Albion…

All those deaths would have been more Nimueh's fault. She wanted this future, even at the costs of the others, at the costs of Uther's pain and the death of the one she dared called friend Ingraine.

She wouldn't tell Uther then and she won't tell him now, knowing it would only enrage and embitter and aggrieve him to learn the truth. But she couldn't help wondering if he would feel betrayed and angry if he ever found out she'd kept such a thing from him…

"Back then, there were scores of dark magic being used, Merlin. This is not an exaggeration. Power corrupts, no matter in what form –through magic or the stations of nobles. Many people were swayed through magic into abusing such power because they couldn't resist the allure of having it and using it against others. I love Morgana, but I feel dread that there is more than a possibility that she will be corrupted and use her power for evil," Uther admitted.

Merlin recoiled. "No! You mustn't think that! I promise you, that I will do everything in my power to make sure she is well and supported, Uther. She would never go that path anyways. Not with me and you here."

And yet, why was Uther still looking serious?

"Merlin…Darling…if the Old Religion must maintain a balance…where will Morgana fit in this world where there aren't many powerful magic-users left? If you are, at the end of it all and as hinted of the future, the most powerful sorceress there is –where does that fit Morgana, who you say has great potential?"

Merlin stared. This was not something she'd thought about or even considered at all. That Uther…

Uther looked mournfully at her. "If you are the most powerful beacon to the light, then I fear for this balance that Morgana will be your equal in darkness."

Merlin almost blanched, but withheld it for his sake. "You don't know that, Uther."

"Morgana does not have your temperament. She holds so much anger and hate in her, and I know I am partly to blame. And if she had suspected magic of herself before, living in fear of me would not have helped. All these strong and negative emotions she would not be able to handle and it will lead her astray –not like you, Merlin. She's not like you, Merlin. She will not be able to handle such power, not with all those feelings being held inside of her."

Merlin swallowed heavily and sat down next to Uther, almost dazed.

"I worry about you," she confessed. "I worry how you would take Morgana possessing magic. You are still new to reaccepting magic again and I don't know how you would handle this. And now I worry about how long have you been worrying about this balance and Morgana's potential corruption, and I'm not too sure how or what I can do to ease your mind about this.

"And I worry about Morgana too. She's alone and scared and probably confused. I don't want her to feel like that. I understand. I was like that too. I had my mother, but it was mostly keep my head down and don't get caught doing it or else I might get killed. And there was Sigan, but I don't even want to get into that. I doubt it was healthy having a dark sorcerer attached to your soul and haunting you, trying to groom you to take over the world. But then I came here and I had Gaius and I even had _you_. At least, I want to be there for Morgana…"

Suddenly, she felt him take her hand and squeeze comfortingly and she broke out of her thoughts and looked at him, smiling at her gratefully. She gave a weak smile back.

"That would reassure and make me happy for Morgana to have you there for her, despite my misgivings about her powers. Though…you worry still that I continue to hate magic and that even now, you would not be safe," he caught the last of the worries she'd been plagued with.

She looked away from him, but he took the hand he had of hers and brought it to his lips, kissing it fondly.

"Never."

Her smile strengthened slightly.

However, she would not admit that the real last of her worries was that she couldn't help feeling jealous of Uther and Morgana's relationship, no matter how perpetually strained, and of his strong feelings for his ward.

* * *

Merlin sighed as she tinkered around and cleaned up, but was caught off guard when Morgana rushed into Gaius' chambers, hysterical and almost erratic.

"Is Gaius here?" Morgana burst out, looking very teary.

"Er, no he's not here at the moment. He should be back soon though," Merlin answered awkwardly, trying to quickly figure out how to handle this situation.

"I need to speak to him. Where is he?" the King's ward persisted.

"He's gone to see the King. What's wrong? You can trust me, Morgana. You know you can," Merlin decided now was as gone a time as any to try to reach out to Morgana.

"I'm scared, Merlin. I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening. Please," Morgana begged her desperately.

Merlin inwardly faltered. "Gaius will be back soon. He'll be able to help you."

Maybe Uther and Gaius were right…

"He won't. I don't want any more remedies. They won't do me any good. It's magic, Merlin," Morgana burst out and Merlin scrambled through her brain on what she was supposed to do.

She hadn't thought this through enough.

"What?" Merlin stalled as she kept trying to think about her next move.

"I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't make this up," Morgana pleaded, mistakenly believing Merlin was in disbelief.

"Of course," she tried to reassure the other female.

"Then you believe me? You think it's magic too. Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it."

Merlin inwardly closed her eyes and prayed for forgiveness. To who, she didn't quite know. To Morgana…to Uther…to some meaningless deity from above…

"I really wish there was something I could say," Merlin finally answered.

Morgana started to back away, eyes finally letting go of her tears.

"Morgana. Morgana. Wait," Merlin gritted her teeth.

Just when the Lady started to leave, Merlin gave in and decided her original decision was better.

"Morgana!" and just as Morgana had reached the door, Merlin reached out with her hand and the door slammed closed.

Morgana's eyes widened at the closed door before she whirled around to face Merlin, whose golden eyes were fading away to blue.

"You…you…"

"Used magic," Merlin finished off softly. "Come here, Morgana. We will talk tomorrow. Tonight, I will make sure the dreams stay away. As much as I can."

"Like before," Morgana gave her a watery smile, visibly calming down.

Merlin's outstretched hand gestured to Morgana and waited, and the other female came over and hesitantly took her hand. Merlin gently took her and brought her closer, leading her to her room.

"You have always been so gentle and kind with me, Merlin," Morgana murmured.

"But of course, milady. Be calm and at rest. Nothing will plague you tonight."

Merlin made sure to have Morgana comfortable and settled in quickly, soothing her and bringing her to sleep. She waited awhile, making sure Morgana was asleep, before she snuck out and searched out the Great Dragon.

Her talk with it was not a very happy or useful one.

It was also a talk that made her wary and upset, for now even the Great Dragon spoke against her friend. It made her worry and remember Uther's uneasiness, and wonder if she was doing the right thing with Morgana…

The next morning, she spoke at great length with Morgana in her room, where no one could disturb them. She answered all of the eager Morgana's questions, explaining what she could and revealing some of the things that had truly happened in the past, with the exception of Uther's involvement. Merlin was not sure how Morgana would take that, and had a feeling the other female would be indignant and likely to reveal it to the whole of Camelot with her temperament.

Hot-headed Morgana and the Pendragon men were…and rash and impulsive and hasty and _reckless_…

Merlin could go on about this bloody family.

Whatever Morgana wanted to know, Merlin did her best to answer. She spoke of her own life in Ealdor and of hiding her magic here in Camelot, along with using it to protect it and especially Arthur.

"And he's so ungrateful," Morgana scoffed. "He has no idea what you've done for him, my dear sweet Merlin."

Merlin gave a helpless shrug Morgana tittered in amusement at.

"And all this time…it must've been hard having to hide your magic, all the while saving that prat and this kingdom over and over again. That isn't even to mention having to hide from Uther from under his nose and having to be in fear of being found out, even though all you've done is be loyal and save everyone! Oh, you are so underappreciated, Merlin!"

Still, it felt kind of good to get the credit and have someone else acknowledge what she's done for once.

"Morgana, I think you seeing and talking to the druids might help," Merlin had decided that last night and was why she'd gone to see the dragon. "I will always be available to you, but they might be able to tell you more than I can."

Morgana hesitated, but nodded in acquiesce. Then she leaned towards Merlin and hugged her, and Merlin, after an awkward pause, embraced her back in comfort.

Morgana may know she had magic, but she was still under the impression Merlin was male.

Merlin would have to find a way to break the news to her.

After escorting Morgana back to her room, she quickly did the chores she had to do for Arthur, leaving behind a little gift, and then heading over to Uther's for a late report.

Uther raised an eyebrow at her. "Missed our breakfast and never came in early for a report. I was getting worried about you…"

Merlin looked at him gravely. "Morgana had another dream and barged into Gaius' quarters last night. She was hysterical and believed she had magic…so I confronted her and admitted to my own."

Uther's face blanked out and he sort of quieted and visibly became eerily calm.

"I see," the King finally said. "Well, at least Morgana does not have to feel alone. I wish you hadn't needed to reveal yourself, but I trust you will be careful and serious about this?"

Merlin nodded.

"Then what is it have you chosen to do next?"

"I believe Morgana should contact the druids. What is happening to her might be better explained by them. I would be better in emotional support, teaching her control of her magic and how to use it. They could give her the explanations that I am lacking, especially as I neither had anyone to explain my own gifts correctly," Merlin told him.

"I see," Uther said again, quieter. "That scroll has all the names of people that are associated with magic-users, or rather suspected of. Look through it –there may be one who is in contact with the druids."

Merlin gave him a half-smile before she did so and then departed from the King's chambers.

Meanwhile, Arthur had caught sight of the flowers Merlin had left for him and smiled widely at them. He grinned wider at the note attached.

_There. Your flowers, prat. Now stop being jealous._

"That's my girl," he crowed happily.

He then placed his new vase of flowers next to his window to be on display and easily seen. He whistled as he walked out of his room and went back to his duties, hoping he'd catch Merlin and force her to tagalong with him for the whole day.

But what he wanted and what actually happened for the day didn't coincide.

He ended up with a scroll tossed at his head by his father, forced to go out to arrest people, and then didn't get to see Merlin at all that day. Or night either. She's at least supposed to come in then, kiss him and cuddle for a bit. But no Merlin for some reason…

However, Merlin was just getting ready to go to bed when there was a knock on her door. She answered it in confusion, only to see Gwen.

Gwen smiled at her hesitantly, so she returned the smile with a stronger one to reassure the other girl.

"Sorry to keep you, Merlin. It's just that Morgana asked that I come here to request if you'd stay the night in her rooms, keep the nightmares at bay," she could tell Gwen was confused, but Merlin merely deflected it with some vague words.

Though, she had meant to sleep with Arthur tonight to make up for not seeing him that day and for being unable to continue to sleep with him the night of Morgana's first incident. Still, Morgana needed her.

"Of course, Gwen. I'll be right there. Why don't you go to bed? It's late and I can make it to Morgana's without any trouble."

Gwen agreed and Merlin hurried getting ready for bed in a more male attire, and then traversed out, sleepily making her way to Morgana's. The door immediately opened to her and Morgana waited anxiously on the other side of it.

"Thank you for coming, Merlin," Morgana smiled tiredly. "I'm afraid of going to sleep, at least without you there."

"It's no problem, Morgana. However I can help," she assured her. "I just want to suggest that we leave at early morn, before anyone's awake. I'll lead you to where the druids are and I must come back to act as if nothing had happened. Also, I have brought your sleeping draught as well," she held up the bottle.

"I don't need it, I think. As long as you're here," Morgana clung tightly to her and Merlin tried to make sure she didn't act too awkward.

The next day, the warning bells echoed and Merlin stared sorrowfully out of her window and into the horizon.

Sometime later, Gaius grabbed Merlin's shoulder and held up the potion bottle.

"I didn't ask you to take this to Morgana last night."

"I used some initiative, I thought you'd be pleased," Merlin said stoically.

"Those warning bells are ringing because Uther thinks that Morgana's been kidnapped. And you don't seem overly concerned," Gaius glared at her knowingly.

"She can look after herself," Merlin glared back.

They held a glaring contest for a few more seconds.

"Merlin, what have you done?" Gaius shook his head.

"What you refused to. I helped her," Merlin declared stubbornly.

"This ends now. People's lives are at risk, Morgana's included. Where is she?" Gaius pushed.

"She's gone to the Forest of Essetir to find the druids," she reluctantly admitted.

"I told you not to get involved," Gaius almost started to pull at his hair.

"I had to because you wouldn't even acknowledge she had magic," Merlin hissed in aggravation.

"For good reason," Gaius glowered at her.

"No. You don't understand. You don't understand what it's like. The years before I came here were the loneliest of my life," Merlin very nearly shouted, but she was getting very frustrated and admitted that her eyes were stinging and feeling like she wanted to cry suddenly.

"Morgana is the King's ward. Her situation is completely different to yours," he spoke with her in a short tone.

"I know. I've got you, she hasn't," she softened though.

"I've always taken good care of Morgana," her uncle sighed, looking very tired.

"It is not the same. Everything that's good and right about magic I've learnt from you. I'd be lost without you, Gaius. Like she is now. Do you understand why I did it?" Merlin tried to get him to see it from her side one last time.

"Yes, I do. But that doesn't mean I don't fear the consequences," Gaius said solemnly, and she started to feel the feeling of foreboding again about Morgana.

Later that night, after spending some time with an unhappy and tired Arthur (who was also reluctant to admit he was worried about where Morgana had gone), she went to Uther's chambers for her nightly report. She saw him pacing in front of his fireplace and she waited to be acknowledged, knowing he probably already sensed her entrance.

"Where is she?"

"The Forest of Essetir. To see the druids."

"…"

"Executions?"

Uther whirled from the fireplace and reluctantly glared at her.

"Everyone was arrested. And they will be executed. Should I do so differently?"

"They have nothing to do with this, Uther," she whispered, looking at the floor.

"No, they don't. But what will the council and everyone say if I say or do nothing, when Morgana is missing? _What is my normal reaction_?" Uther yelled at her, before rapidly whirling around and slamming his fist against the fireplace.

She flinched, even more when he muffled his yell of pain into arm.

She gulped and tried to blink away her tears as she quietly walked over to him and gently grabbed his injured hand, starting to heal it.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this and forcing you to become even more a hypocrite against your will, and not giving you a choice in the matter," she murmured.

His healed hand moved from her hands, softly wiping away the tears clinging to her eyes.

"Take care of Morgana when you retrieve her, won't you? And be careful," he ran a hand through her hair comfortingly.

"You know I will, for you," her voice continued to be quiet.

And she fled so quickly, it was almost like she just disappeared from sight.

* * *

_"Is there any word from Arthur?"_

_"No, Sire, not yet. But they haven't been gone long."_

_"Yes, of course."_

_"Why are you so certain that she's been kidnapped?"_

_"What other possibility is there?"_

_"She was very upset after the fire. She could've gone of her own accord."_

_"That's not Morgana. In all her years, I've never known her to run from anything. Takes after her father too much for that."_

_"You haven't let Gorlois down. You've looked after that girl as if she were your own."_

_"That is what she's become. If she were to die, a huge part of me would die with her."_

She dreamt that. She wasn't sure if it was present time or for the future (the next day or whatever). Whatever it was, hearing the conversation between Uther and Gaius put an ache into her heart.

She didn't want to be jealous of her beloved friend, but she couldn't help resenting Morgana for being ungrateful of Uther's love and causing him so much pain.

But she determinedly got to Morgana and made sure to practically drag her back to Camelot by getting her to Arthur without being seen, witnessing with an uneasiness Mordred's formidable potential power, and helping the others escape. She made sure to heal Aglain, the druid who'd been helping Morgana all this time, as much as she could, before she fled.

"I was so worried about you," she heard Uther speak to Morgana, as she watched from a distance.

"You were right. It was the druids. They kidnapped her," Arthur's voice echoed in the yard.

She watched Uther continue his embrace with the Lady Morgana, the lady's face uncomfortable and almost resentful, and Uther's a huge expression of relief and happiness.

Merlin watched balefully, before directing her unhappy stare to the ground. She missed Uther catching sight of her and his expression turning to one of worry.

Rebelliously, she didn't do any of her regular chores for Arthur, see him, ignored any summons from Uther, and basically avoided anyone that crossed her path or wanted her.

However, at dinnertime, she was sidelined by Arthur who had finally managed to catch her and practically kidnapped her. In his room, his table was set for two and he'd sat her on one end as he sat opposite her.

"If I remember right, you liked my cooking, didn't you?" he grinned and winked at her, gesturing at the food on the table and that was obviously from the kitchens.

She couldn't help smiling a little and he took that as a good sign.

"But I do prefer _your _cooking," and this time, that earned him a good laugh out of her.

They had a great dinner together and Merlin's mood immediately started to uplift, and she was so glad for Arthur.

Though, with the way he kept giving her wine, she was easily and quickly getting drunk.

"Arrrttthhhuuurr, staaawp iiit," she giggled and he looked at her amusingly.

"I love you. But you're so silly," Arthur told her. "And yet I still love you like this. I love you any way."

She leaned over and sniffed him. "You smell good."

He barked out in laughter.

The next morning, they were having breakfast together for once, but she ate light in the case that she decided she would go have her usual breakfast with Uther after all.

"Hey, I have something for you," Arthur told her eagerly, getting up from the table and going to his wardrobe.

He took something out and headed towards her again, handing her something long covered in a cerulean cloth.

"Oooh, present time. What is it?" Merlin asked, already starting to uncover it anyway.

Her smile faltered and stared down at his gift to her.

The glass sword she owned in the future, was held loftily in her hands.

Started 9/6/12 – Completed 9/8/12

A/n: Wow, it's been a long time, eh? Seriously though, it's been hard to watch, never mind, write for this when I haven't seen Merlin in a long time (no cable, no nothing to watch it here with and downloads are hard to find). But I really am getting back into Merlin, and thankfully able to rewatch the second season and finally watch the third on Netflix, and after so many continuing supportive reviews and people wanting this to continue, I definitely want to. I'm pretty confident I can catch up to the at least the third season by the end of the year though. (BTW, I hate you Uther and Merlin and your stupid complicated talks I actually have to dig my brain for)

Also, y'all are mean. XD I didn't about Uther and you know what and everything and then y'all blurt that out for me –ehhhh? Oh well XDXDXD I gave in and looked it all up, so I pretty much know some of what happens in the future seasons. Lalala, want to skip to the third season already~

Just FYI, I wrote Ingraine because that's historically one of the spellings and what I used before they gave an official spelling for her name in the story. Sorry, y'all –I'm already used to it. I will change the Dubois (historical, dammit! XD) to 'de Bois' though.

Sorry for not replying to everyone…but I wouldn't know where to start XD I've been gone for so long that I don't think people would want me to spam their box with long overdue replies, and would rather just have the update. I'll try some for the more recent ones…

**And to dhh -Go To Hell. If you hated it so much, why the hell did you read all the way through? And you're obviously not getting the undertones and reasonings, so why bother? Go away and stop harassing me on everything; this fic and any other fic of mine you like to troll in.**


	17. Merlin and the Three Musketeers

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S2.4 ("Lancelot and Guinevere") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/?, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin, one-sided Morgana/Merlin, slight Edwin/Merlin (mostly one-sided), slight Nimueh/Merlin (mostly one-sided)...

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Seventeen: Merlin and the Three Musketeers_

It had slipped out.

Gwen hadn't meant it, but she'd called Merlin a 'she' during that tournament. At first, she thought it was to cover for the fact that Merlin had just kissed the Prince and it wouldn't do to spread any rumors of Arthur's _male_ servant kissing him. But she couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't stop looking at Merlin and seeing just how _pretty_ the male was (and believe her, she'd always been aware of that and what had helped along her crush). Mind, not that it changed anything. Feelings like the ones Gwen had for Merlin don't just disappear, no matter what.

Even if Gwen had realized she was –_is_ –in love with another girl.

It made sense now why Arthur always seemed to pause when addressing Merlin as a 'he', and the way the Prince seemed to act sometimes. Looking back, she knew that he hadn't known Merlin wasn't male for a while then either, and had clearly loved Merlin even when he thought the female was male. But now that it seemed he'd found out, Gwen could see how it had grown even more (or more really that barriers from before had fallen and there were less obstacles them coming together had, therefore letting Arthur let loose with his feelings and be free with them). She now also understood why Arthur seemed extra sympathetic to her and amused at Morgana's antics, concerning Merlin.

The subject of her musings was rushing passed her and she saw Merlin, whose face was etched in worry, heading somewhere with her hands holding something covered in a cerulean cloth.

She sighed and wished that things had been different.

Meanwhile, Merlin had finished her light breakfast with Arthur and had quickly made her escape, rushing to the King's chambers with an urgency she didn't understand. Why should she be so bothered about a sword? Yes, she'd seen it in her dreams…but it meant nothing. It had to mean nothing.

"You…look like you're running from a monster."

She blinked back into awareness and realized she'd already made it to Uther's rooms, with the King himself looking at her worriedly. Angrily whipping the cloth off of the glass sword, she held it out to Uther.

"What the hell is this? Why did Arthur have it and why did he give it to me?" And now she was angry, and she just honestly didn't know what emotion she should be actually feeling at that moment.

Uther's face blanked out and he took the sword from her, twirling it around elegantly in experiment.

"It was Ingraine's."

Her mouth shut tight and she stared at him.

"When you told me about your dream, I recognized the sword's description. When I recalled the sword you'd furnished for Arthur from the dragon, I too went to see him and had him furnished this sword for you. I gave it to Arthur to give to you."

He handed it back to her and she held it lightly, staring down at it in trepidation.

"Who knows of your dreams, Merlin. If they do or do not come true. All I know is that sword is meant to be yours, and I am happy to give it to you. Although, I'd already had it furnished by the dragon for you before I even knew, when you told me your dreams in detail, that it was supposed to be yours in the future," Uther smirked slightly.

But she didn't smile at all, too busy staring down at the sword.

"This is not the only thing bothering you, is it?"

"Why would you have Arthur give this to me?" she asked stoically, looking up at him.

"Why shouldn't he?"

And the dam basically burst and she tossed the sword away from her and at his bed, where it landed softly. She pulled at her hair and paced.

"Don't you get it? Arthur shouldn't be getting me extravagant things! I'm his _servant_ and all eyes are watching! Hell, to everyone, I'm _male_. And when it comes out I have magic, people will think he's been enchanted!"

"Merlin, calm down," he ordered, and she slowed down but didn't stop pacing completely.

"He's going to be King, Uther. He needs a proper wife," and by then, it didn't seem like she was even talking to him anymore and was just talking to herself. And it looked to be a conversation she's talked to herself about many a time.

"And why can't you be her?" Uther interrupted.

"Don't be ridiculous," Merlin snapped, frowning and not looking at him as she continued to pace in thought. "The Queen cannot be Court Sorceress also –"

"High Sorceress," Uther cut in again. "The dreams said you were High Sorceress, which I think is distinct from Court Sorceress in more power and being an absolute role and title. Or something of the like."

Merlin glanced at him in irritation, though in hindsight she hadn't actually thought of that. "The Queen cannot be High Sorceress," she corrected herself. "That's too much power and creates an imbalance. And the prejudices against magic will never go away, not that fast and not everywhere at least. I don't even know anything about ruling the kingdom –"

"You spend quite a bit of time with me and you really know the why behind my reasons in the decisions I make," he interjected, but she only just went on.

"And I focus more on Arthur and would put him above anything, even the kingdom. A Queen shouldn't do that…I have too many responsibilities…And I manipulate him too much anyways! Besides, there was Morgana's vision of Gwen being Queen and it's much, much better than the other vision she had of me being the same…and I don't want to get hurt when that time comes…

"It's a perfect political move too. The royal king marries a commoner, a servant. It'll endear him to the people and everyone, even nobles deep down, loves a good old romance story to enjoy and talk about –or scandal, if it boils down to it. She has no magic, she'll be just fine…"

"What's this about Guinevere?" Uther panicked, listening to her and becoming incredulous. But she continued to ignore him, muttering to herself and deeply focused on her planning to think or hear anything else from anyone.

Frankly, he was about just ready to hit her upside the head and snap her out of this, as well as smacking some sense into her. Finally, he just snatched her arm and pulled her out of her pacing, roughly leading her to the bed and sitting her on it as he grabbed a fruit bowl.

"Light breakfast," he growled, handing her an apple and taking one for himself. "Now why don't you walk me through this and explain everything more clearly?"

Then she mechanically told him about the visions Morgana's been having of her and of Gwen, her issues about a marriage to Arthur and how impossible the idea is, and how he wouldn't have to worry because she was going to make sure Gwen stayed clear of Lancelot and that Morgana's maid and Arthur were going to have a perfect marriage and nothing was going to ruin it –

By the end of it, his headache was growing steadily worse and he was rubbing the bridge of his nose raw.

"Guinevere wouldn't have to end up cheating on Arthur if you would just marry him yourself," he pointed out.

She bristled at him and he sighed.

"Alright, just…I think a big part of this is that you're afraid, since hearing about that vision, that Arthur will eventually end up leaving you and you'll end up hurt. I can promise you he won't and he wouldn't ever hurt you. I'll clobber him upside the head myself…so just please stop this nonsense."

She didn't look at him and she stubbornly stayed silent, so he sighed again.

"Morgana is going to travel to her father's grave today, so if you don't mind, will you please take Guinevere's place and come with her and protect her for me?"

He could feel her silence become more melancholy for some reason, and she nodded her head to him stiffly.

"Thank you, Merlin."

And the two of them suddenly slumped in their seats on the bed, morosely eating their apple breakfast together and completely and utterly exhausted from that awkward, crazed, strange and demented talk they just went through.

Merlin rubbed at her forehead though, feeling hot. It would just be her luck that she had a fever.

"Are you alright?" the King asked her, noticing her preoccupation.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. I'll go now and get ready to accompany Morgana," Merlin mumbled.

Soon enough, she was dressed and ready in the courtyard, sitting on her horse as Arthur helped Morgana onto hers. They left after a brief trade of pleasantries, and Merlin and Arthur gave each other a final gaze.

"Where are they going, Sire?" Guinevere came up to Arthur, inquiring politely.

"Morgana's on a pilgrimage to her father's grave," Arthur said, still gazing in the direction they'd gone.

"So you won't be jealous then? That they are traveling together…alone? Then again, you wouldn't have to be since Merlin is a female and has absolutely no interest in Lady Morgana," Gwen teased.

Arthur sputtered and nearly gaped at the serving girl.

"How did –You know Merlin's a girl?"

Gwen shrugged. "I figured it out. _Finally_."

"Well, I suppose that's everyone then. Who knows about Merlin. You know, being a female."

Gwen coughed. "Er, well…Morgana still hasn't actually…"

"…I see…"

"Though it was hard with you and the King making it so clear that Merlin is male. Oh! Your father! Does he know…?" she asked apprehensively.

Arthur snorted. "Yeah, even before me. Don't ask –I don't know why he kept it secret or why he does what he does. I don't get him at all. _Merlin_ gets him better than I do."

"I see, Sire…But why and how would Merlin know the King –"

"Ah! Training time for the knights! I'm getting late. I'll have to talk with you some other time, Guinevere. Goodbye!"

Well, Arthur had no problems sticking around for a fight…but he'll admit he can be a bit of a coward when it came to answering questions about certain things.

Alas, while he fled to the training grounds, Morgana and Merlin, surrounded by knights, were in the middle of a path and discussing something Merlin wished she could run from.

"It's a beautiful day," Morgana hmmed lightly, leading her horse closer to Merlin's. "Thank you so much, Merlin. You've helped the nightmares go away. I feel so much better these days."

Merlin cleared her throat awkwardly, ignoring the quiet snickers from the knights.

"…Of course."

"You look troubled though," Morgana glanced at her worriedly and with another emotion Merlin couldn't identify. She might have chanced her aura sight if it weren't for the fact they were utterly surrounded by Camelot soldiers.

"I'm fine," Merlin smiled at her assuredly.

"You're very secretive these days. I'm beginning to think there's a…woman involved," Morgana glowered at the floor at that.

Merlin laughed uncomfortably. "Trust me –I've no interest in any women around Camelot. Besides, when do I get to meet any decent women? Of my station," she hurriedly added.

"Who cares of station –"

At that moment, they were attacked by bandits and Morgana freaked out. Merlin stayed close to her, trying to calm her and the horses while she looked around for any danger their way, despite the fact she was feeling hotter by the second.

"Milady, Merlin! You must follow me!" Sir Robert screamed at them in worry, before he was shot in the back.

The two of them were pulled off of their horses, but one of the knights managed to kill the men holding them.

"Merlin! Head for the path! Go!"

They ran up the hill, but unfortunately they were met with the head of the bandits.

"I warn you. I am Uther Pendragon's ward. He'll have your heads if any harm comes to me," Morgana lifted her chin defiantly.

"I have no intention of harming you. At least not yet. You're much more valuable to me alive, Lady Morgana," Merlin remembering hearing one of the others address this man as Kendrick.

She and Morgana were manhandled into following them, and were pushed into a tent together.

"Can't you…can't you, I don't know, use magic?" Morgana whispered.

Merlin frowned. "I don't think I can, Morgana. I just…I feel really sick right now and my magic doesn't seem to be working. I don't know what's going on."

Morgana's eyes widened and she looked extremely worried for her, moving close to the sorceress and putting a hand against her forehead.

"You're burning up!" the King's ward exclaimed in a quiet voice to avoid being heard.

"We have to get out of here, Morgana. We need to come up with a plan," Merlin rushed out, trying to think through her fever.

"I'll ask for a bath," Morgana said suddenly.

"What?" Merlin blinked in confusion, looking at her strangely.

"I'll ask for a bath and when the guards are distracted, we will fight them off and then run."

It was simple, but it could very well work. They ironed out more details before deigned it as ready a plan as it could be.

"He's coming. You know what you must do?" Merlin whispered to Morgana anxiously.

Morgana nodded and Kendrick came in with a smug grin, glancing at Merlin for some reason.

"I trust you are comfortable?" he asked, not really caring.

"I demand to know where you're taking us," Morgana started her part.

"You'll find out soon enough. We've a long journey ahead of us. Get some rest," he dismissed her easily.

He turned to leave, but Morgana walked out of the tent after him.

"I wish to bathe," Morgana asked shakily, wishing she could look back at the tent to Merlin for comfort and courage.

"You wish to bathe?" Kendrick asked in amusement.

"I am the King's ward and accustomed to certain standards. I am sure you are quite contented to stink like a pig, but I am not," Morgana spat out, glaring at him in contempt.

"The Lady Morgana wishes to bathe! Who wants to help me guard her?" Kendrick snorted and asked around mockingly.

Coarse laughter spread around the camp and Morgana flushed red, but stayed silent, knowing Merlin would tell her to be patient and ignore these men.

The ruse worked rather well actually and it looked like they were both going to get away when Merlin tripped from the blinding and excruciating turn her fever had taken to her and she ended up hurting her ankle.

"Merlin!"

"Run, Morgana," Merlin hissed at her, wincing when she moved her ankle slightly.

"But, if you put your shoulder around me – "

"We'll never outrun them. I'm injured and sick and you'll be slowed down for me. Go, Morgana! You can get help. Just go!" Merlin weakly shoved Morgana away.

Morgana persisted and went back to her.

"I won't leave you behind," she insisted.

Merlin hated to do this, but there would be no other way to get through to Morgana. She yanked the female down and kissed her thoroughly before shoving her away again.

"_Go_."

And this time, Morgana listened to her, reluctantly leaving with a backwards teary glance at her and leaving behind a sword for Merlin to have. A man's scream echoed in the forest and Morgana paused, before forcing herself to keep running, sobbing to herself as she ran away.

* * *

"There's been no word from Morgana's camp," Arthur told his father, gritting his teeth. "They've not returned to Camelot yet and there's been no sign of her anywhere. Or of Merlin." His hand clenched at that.

Uther stood up abruptly at that, before forcing himself to a calm and sat down heavily.

"Send riders to all the outlying villages. I want every guard, every sentry looking for her."

"I'll dispatch them immediately," Arthur promised.

"And Arthur…bring her back, won't you? Bring her back," Uther actually almost looked pleadingly at him, and it was so strange to see his father like this.

"I will."

Though he wasn't so sure by 'her', that his father meant Morgana anymore. He didn't want to admit that his father and Morgana truly have grown apart; perhaps too much it seemed at times…

When Arthur arrived at the scene of the first attack, he found the ransom note and inwardly cursed. Then he followed the tracks and was led to a somewhat hysterical and startled Morgana, having almost shot an arrow at her.

"Where's Merlin?" he asked, dread pooling in his gut.

Morgana burst into tears again and Arthur started to feel numb.

It was a long and upsetting journey back to Camelot. Morgana was sent to be calmed and fixed up and Arthur blankly went to his room and removed his armor, struggling to do it by himself. Then he put his face in his hands and tried not to cry.

Afterwards, pulling himself together, he went to the council chamber (meeting up with Morgana along the way), where everyone was gathered and the King sat on his throne and looked pleased and relieved to see his ward. But his smile faltered where he saw someone missing.

"It's such a relief to see you safe. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone harming you," Uther stated, smiling grimly at Morgana.

"The bandits still have Merlin," Morgana said in distress.

"I believe they were Mercian. We've received reports that Hengist has crossed the border," Arthur reported stoically, itching to go out and find Merlin already.

"Hengist?" Uther clenched his jaw at the name.

"You must send a rescue party," Morgana blurted out.

"If Hengist is holding him, it would take a small army to rescue the servant," but Arthur could see the quick flash of anger in his father's eyes.

"We can't abandon him!" Morgana cried, starting to get teary again.

"How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant?" But Arthur could recognize the self-hate and anger in his father now.

"As many as it takes! Merlin gave himself up so that I might escape. I owe him my life," Morgana pleaded. "And he's done it several times over! Saved me –and Arthur! We cannot just repay him like this."

"He did so willingly, and he will be honored for it," Uther said dismissively, but Arthur could already see his father's knee almost unnoticeably bouncing anxiously.

"I don't want him honored, I want him rescued! He is more than just any servant. He's my friend –and Arthur's," she looked pointedly at him.

She hesitated but took a chance.

"And I love him."

"A servant is of no value to these bandits. I fear he's dead already," Uther said blandly, ignoring the last part. However, the rest of the room erupted into quiet whispers, everyone murmuring about the King's ward's confession.

"No! We cannot give up hope! Arthur? I'm begging you. You have to do something," she turned fully to Arthur now, but besides reeling with the fact that Morgana had actually confessed that to everyone just like that (and stupidly feeling jealous again), he didn't know what to say when he knew that he couldn't speak out against his father in public.

"My father's right. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do," he reluctantly said, though he knew his father didn't even truly feel this way or speak truth to the hall.

"How can you say that?! How can you live with yourselves?! All of you!" Morgana screamed at them all, before turning and fleeing from them.

Arthur went to his room and began packing, when Morgana burst through the door.

"How can you be so heartless?! Merlin is the most kind, loyal person that you would ever meet, and he has been more than a friend to all of us! And you would leave him at the mercy of those animals! You…you…and to think you supposedly had feelings for him!" Morgana shouted angrily.

"Morgana..."

"Have you no shame? Do you think of no one but yourself?" she went on, not stopping or noticing anything else.

He put away an extra shirt into his bag.

"Morgana..."

"I knew you were many things, Arthur Pendragon, but I didn't know you were a gutless coward!"

Finally, Arthur had enough. "Morgana! Perhaps if you would stop shouting at me for one second, you would notice that I am packing."

"You're going after Merlin," Morgana said dumbfounded.

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I'm going after him. What do you take me for? I couldn't disagree with Father in public. And you stole my thunder –_I_ wanted to shock those old goats and confess I loved Merlin to everyone."

A smile flitted onto her lips. "Arthur? Bring him home."

Again, Arthur's door burst open just as they shared a smile, showing none other than the King.

"Ah, so it's a party in here already, hm?" Uther said dryly.

Morgana had her mouth slightly open from shock, while Arthur simply raised an eyebrow (he learned it from Merlin, he proudly remembered, knowing it was a distinctive style of raising one's eyebrow and it was an exact certain way), though he did note his father was strangely…dressed in full regalia…er, full battle regalia, that is. He could see the chainmail hidden underneath his father's simple shirt, the sword faithfully strapped to his waist, and the missing gloves, crown, and cape.

Wait a second…

"Uther, you…" Morgana trailed off, still in shock.

Uther raised an eyebrow, and Arthur idly wondered if Merlin learned it from him in turn.

"Did you really think I was just going to leave it at that? I said I wasn't going to send men after Merlin, but I didn't say I would leave things be. Now hurry up, Arthur. I don't have all day."

Uther turned on his heel and strode out, and Arthur nodded respectively at Morgana before following after his father.

"Was that wise?" he asked before they left the corridor. "You weren't so keen on having others know of you and Merlin before, and now you are acting rather obvious. This, itself –you coming along and doing something at all, it looks suspicious, doesn't it?"

"I don't care," Uther declared. "And I know you don't either."

And that practically just answered everything and pushed aside any concerns.

"You said it would take a small army to rescue Merlin, so how do we do this?" Arthur started to strategize.

"I said a small army for a rescue," Uther huffed. "But for an infiltration, the less the better. Just in and out. Besides, between the two of us, we can make up a small army. And that's not even including Merlin."

Arthur looked strangely at his father for that, wondering what on earth Merlin could to do to fight. Then again, he didn't really know about her fighting skills or what she was capable of, to be honest…

"What are you going to say to the others, when those old goats start asking?" Arthur asked, genuinely curious.

"If they absolutely have to know," Uther rolled his eyes, "You were obviously going to go, and from previous experience, there's just no stopping you. I came along to protect my heir and make sure you come back safely…and spend some quality time with my son. Besides, the council will take care of things in my absence, with Gaius taking charge and making sure they're in line."

"The first part was okay, but then the last part is barely passing," Arthur muttered, not believing for a second anyone would actually buy it. Then again, his father _was_ King…

No one was really going to question him.

"Shut up," Uther slapped the upside of his head. "Or I'll go on without you and leave you behind."

"I'll fetch the horses and you can distract the guards," Arthur hid his pout.

"Why don't _I_ fetch the horses and _you_ distract the guards?"

"Don't be difficult, Father!"

Uther sniffed haughtily. "I'm not. Truthfully, you are."

Why did Arthur get the feeling his father was doing this on purpose?

"Oh, forget it. Just stand there and wait a second," Uther sighed irritably.

He watched as his father marched up to the guards, who stood up in attention at the sight of him.

"You there –fetch two horses from the stables!" Uther ordered one of them. "I wish to spend some time with my son. And you, there were whispers of sorcery being performed over there. Conduct a subtle inquiry and report tomorrow on your findings."

The two guards immediately left and Arthur mentally groaned. That was so…unfair. That went so _easy_…

Besides wishing getting to see his father flounder, he was envious of how smooth that had been done and his father's ability to have had no trouble with it.

The horses were brought over and the two of them rushed off.

* * *

Kendrick was furious at his men, screaming at them for allowing Morgana to escape. Merlin just scowled off to the side, glaring at the water. Her chin was roughly grabbed and she was forced to face Kendrick.

He scrutinized her face and then his eyes trailed downwards, stopping at her chest.

"I wonder…"

Before she could jerk away, his other hand shot out and had pressed against her breasts, cupping one and squeezing hard. She snarled at him and snapped a leg into a kick that could have broken his jaw, but he laughed and dodged her. Damn it, why was she so sluggish right now?

"Well, well. A girl masquerading around as a male servant. Perhaps _you_ are the real Lady Morgana, and the other was just a decoy? A double to ensure the real one was safe," he purred, caressing the side of her face.

If her mouth wasn't dry, she would have spat at his face.

She was forced to dress into Morgana's clothes, grimacing when she realized it was too tight around her chest. She put up with the others leering at her as they traveled to their destination, and she knew the minor glamours she'd put on her neck and her chest were long past dropped, and that she was getting hotter and tired by the second. Her eyesight was getting blurry and she couldn't concentrate worth a damn. She barely noticed when they finally were in front of Hengist.

"I present to you the Lady Morgana," Kendrick bowed and made a sweeping gesture toward her.

She sneered.

"And here I thought you'd gone and failed me Kendrick," Hengist grinned. "But…here she is. And you, milady, are as beautiful as they say."

"Whatever you want from Uther Pendragon, what have you, nothing will be begotten. He is as cold as ice and carved from stone," Merlin stated coldly, giving them her iciest glare.

"I hear he is very fond of you, on the contrary," Hengist didn't lose his grin. Merlin inwardly snorted. As if. She was sure she had Uther's favor at least. And maybe he did care for her as a daughter. But not to the level of degree for Morgana…"I have no doubts he would be eager to pay the ransom for his beloved ward."

For Morgana, definitely. For Merlin, no. He'd probably expect her to save herself and always be able to take care of herself and everything while she was at it.

"Take her to her new living space!"

She was unceremoniously dropped into an empty cell in the dungeon and she thought that it was over, at least for now. However, she thought wrong when Kendrick slipped into the cell, eying her smugly.

"You know, you probably aren't Lady Morgana. Doesn't matter much to me," he shrugged. "Actually, you're more to my taste anyway," he smirked, eyes looking her up and down.

Merlin looked at him blankly, resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at him childishly. Her head was still aching anyways, and any movement that required large effort taxed her.

He walked over to her, towering over her sitting form, and she just barely managed to glare up at him. Without warning, he pushed her onto the bed and she struggled to get him off her, kicking out with her legs and lashing out with her fists any which way she could. Just as his mouth latched onto her neck, she brought her knee up into his gut, bringing the wind out of him and causing him to curse loudly.

In return, he slapped her and was reaching for the bottom hem of her dress when another guard called out for Kendrick.

"Hengist wants to see you."

Grumbling under his breath, he reluctantly got off of her and briskly walked out of her cell, with only one last glance at her. She lay there exhausted from what fight she'd managed to put up against him, all energy drained out of her.

Later, she was dragged to the feast Hengist was holding in her honor, and after the food, he decided for her that she was bored and needed entertainment. In moments, a gladiator was in the cage and then another person she was surprised to see come out as challenger.

She and Lancelot traded looks, hers disbelieving and his surprised. Then her look turned into a 'are you kidding me?' look and he had the gall to look sheepish for a moment, before he focused back to the present.

Lancelot and the gladiator fought, and Lancelot easily won the fight. However, he spared the man's life, got out of the cage and got up in front of Hengist, who tossed a bag of coins to the ground in front of him.

"What is your name?" Hengist asked.

"My name is Lancelot," her old friend spoke steadily, but he couldn't help the glance at her.

"You have proved yourself to be a skillful warrior. I believe you may even have impressed our royal guest, Lady Morgana," Hengist laughed gleefully.

Surprised, Lancelot bowed to her and thankfully didn't say anything.

"My Lady."

Merlin nodded stiffly.

Hengist laughed again, only cruelly this time. "Next time you fight, do not expect any mercy. Release the Wilddeoren."

Merlin looked to the ceiling indifferently, as the gladiator's screams echoed from being devoured, but her hands clenched tightly on her lap.

She didn't have to wait long to see Lancelot again, when he'd snuck down to the dungeons to see her, whispering to her from an opening near the top of the wall.

"Merlin, is that really you?"

"Lancelot! What on earth are you doing here?"

"After Camelot, I went out in the world so full of hope. But I soon realized I was being foolhardy and naïve. There were few opportunities for men like me, so it seems I am destined to entertain men like Hengist, earning my living in the only way I could –with a sword in my hand."

Merlin growled. "If I could be beside you now, I would clobber you upside the head, you dollophead. Don't you dare say things like that. That is not the Lancelot I know and I would be ashamed of this Lancelot. Gwen would be disappointed."

She was satisfied to see Lancelot look at least somewhat regretful and very chastised.

"Why does Hengist believe you to be Lady Morgana?"

Merlin huffed. "Kendrick brought me here and presented me as her, in reward for money. Hengist now believes I am her and is keeping me captive, waiting for the King to pay my ransom. And he won't –and when it becomes obvious, I will be thrown to those beasts."

Lancelot stared at her in horror. "Can't you, you know, magic yourself out?"

Merlin thumped her head against the wall in aggravation. "I think I'm sick. I cannot concentrate enough to do anything. Any magic I perform will not only be liable to expose me because of my lack of control, but may even cause more harm than good. That is to say, when I can actually do any magic. Maybe instinctually, it'll still work and help, but I'm not at that point of desperation yet. You'd have to, I don't know, poison me or something," she smirked at that, but Lancelot didn't get the inside joke and had no idea of the background on that, and therefore continued to look at her in horror.

"Has…has Guinevere talked or thought of me at all?" Lancelot changed the subject, becoming bashful.

She snorted and grinned at him lopsidedly. "Oh, definitely. You should come around Camelot sometime. Drop by her house or something. I don't know, maybe _bring along a ring_?" she teased.

Lancelot sputtered and she laughed good-naturedly at him. They heard a door being unlocked, cutting their amusement short.

"Someone's coming," she murmured.

"I promise I'll get you out of here. No matter what it takes, I will find a way. I swear it, Merlin. I will," he looked at her seriously.

Merlin just gave him a tired smile.

* * *

"You're impossible, Father. I don't know how Merlin puts up with you," Arthur grumbled.

"Same way she puts up with you," Uther drawled.

"I mean it, Father! Merlin's life is at stake. We cannot afford to waste a second," he insisted.

"You think I don't know that?" Uther snapped at him. "Of course I do! I'm beyond furious at this and will make Hengist pay, you can be sure of that."

They both sort of quieted after that and looked at everywhere but at each other.

"Well…we're certainly family, aren't we?" Arthur stated sardonically.

"This is…rather awkward."

"Why don't we ever have _normal_ family time?" Arthur complained. "It's always something strange or dangerous or mystical or –"

"Because we're a dysfunctional family," Uther deadpanned. "Now come along."

"You know, Guinevere knows Merlin's female now," Arthur informed him.

Uther was definitely amused by then. "So that's everyone then, hm?"

"Mmm, not quite," Arthur reluctantly admitted.

"…Do I want to know?"

"Morgana still thinks Merlin is male."

Uther winced. "That…will end badly."

"Oh, I know," Arthur mumbled. "I have a very bad feeling about it."

"So do I," his father muttered. "Anyways, Merlin's been having nightmares."

"What? What about?" he started to panic.

And then Uther launched into the whole thing, explaining everything Merlin had told him.

"She had a nightmare where you were married to Guinevere," being one of the main parts. He told whatever he could, from all of Merlin's concerns, only editing out the magical aspects.

"Ugh. I see," Arthur grumbled, rubbing a hand down his face. "I have no idea where she got the idea that Guinevere and I should be together…or how she thinks we like each other like that, seeing as Guinevere still has feelings for her and I'm as devoted to her as she is to me. And that scene in the hall, when Sigan was attacking…if that's the one you said she saw –the irony might be too much to handle. She was thinking Guinevere and I were a possible couple then, when the supposed closeness she saw was over us _bonding over our feelings for __**her**_. Besides! I would never hurt her like that or leave her!"

"Yes, that was what I was trying to tell her," Uther sighed in exasperation.

"I'll talk to her," Arthur glowered. "In the meantime, it's your turn to be enlightened. Did you know Merlin's jealous?"

Uther looked at his son in confusion. "Over what?"

"Of you and Morgana. Oh, she tries not to be, I could see that. But she gets all moody and despondent every time she sees you with Morgana or you mention her in some way. And especially after Morgana's gone off and done something stupid or you two get into fight, and yet still speak fondly of her afterwards. And I have a feeling she's all insecure about your relationship with her and doubtful about how you feel about her," Arthur shrugged. "And she doesn't like talking about it or how she feels overall because she thinks she's being silly or needy or something like that. And just plain doesn't like not focusing on herself anyways."

"I had no idea," Uther frowned. "Looks like I'll have to have my own talk with her."

Though, some of Merlin's looks, behavior, and words made a lot more sense now, looking back…

"How long are we?" Arthur was the one to change the subject again, worried about the time it was taking them to reach Merlin.

"Let me check the map. You said the ransom was to be delivered at the Veil of Denaria. If they're holding Merlin anywhere, it has to be there."

"We can cut a day's riding cutting through the tunnels of Andor," Uther commented, rolling up the map.

"They're…infested with Wilddeoren, aren't they?"

"Merlin's on the other side."

Arthur put on a determined face, steeling himself. "Alright then. Let's go. We're wasting time."

They rode along quietly, thinking of Merlin as they did.

"These, um, Wilddeoren. They're rats, right?" Arthur found his sword and held the hilt tightly.

"…Baby rats," Uther coughed uncomfortably.

"Giant baby rats."

"That eat human flesh."

Arthur shook his head, smiling fondly. "The things we do for Merlin."

"The things she's done for us," Uther added in amusement.

"Yes, well…apparently she's rather used to and brilliant at this kind of thing…while we probably will be bumbling about."

His father laughed.

Arthur hid his smile. This was nice. It was rare that he got to really spend time with his father, more so when it was just to have fun and enjoy each other's presence. This was actually kind of great, being able to joke, tease, and just talk with his father like this.

Maybe when they were all together in Camelot, he, his father, and Merlin could spend time outside and have a picnic. Though Morgana couldn't come. She would most definitely try to cut in on his 'Merlin time' and he couldn't be openly affectionate with Merlin with Morgana in the way. Plus, Merlin might get jealous of Morgana and Uther, and then end up feeling horrible for feeling that way.

So no Morgana. And it was definitely not his jealousy talking.

"Gaia berries, Arthur!" his father called out, a little ahead by then. "Wilddeoren are blind, so they hunt by smell. These should mask our smell well enough that we could probably trek through the tunnels passed them, if we're careful enough."

"Toss me some," he came closer, and his father lightly tossed a few his way.

He started smearing it on his face, wrinkling his nose from the smell. He was going to make sure to tell Merlin all about what he went through to rescue her, so she would be impressed and hopefully shower him with lots of grateful affection. And maybe he could propose then…

He again wrinkled his nose at the smell though, and looked over at his father to see how he was faring. The King showed no sign of his discomfort, aside from moments of twitching.

"I want to propose to her after this," Arthur told his father solemnly, thinking about it more. "I want her to know. I want to give her some kind of reassurance."

Uther nodded. "Good then. Why are you telling me?"

The blond rolled his eyes. "Seriously? What about Sophia? I had to ask your permission and you were dead set on a no."

"One, you were enchanted, remember –"

Arthur was alarmed. "No, actually, _I don't_!"

Uther looked uncomfortable then. That's right –he and Merlin never told Arthur the whole truth about that instance.

"Uh, well, I suppose I should inform you now, that she wasn't…human. And you were under an enchantment."

Arthur threw his hands up into the air. "Are you kidding me? _Now_ you tell me!"

Uther just coughed 'politely'.

"Anyways," Arthur glared at his father. "I had to ask permission. _Enchantment_ or otherwise."

"And I hated her. I wanted her dead actually," Uther added as an afterthought, with Arthur gaping at him at that. "I told Merlin so. Of course I was going to say no when you asked for permission to marry the tart. And it's different this time –it's _Merlin_."

Arthur shook his head.

"Don't worry about that though. Merlin took care of all that, and it's all old news," Uther ended nonchalantly.

Arthur growled and sped his horse up, muttering about how he'd thought he'd gone temporarily insane back then.

Uther snickered to himself and made a note to share this with Merlin once they got her back.

* * *

Hengist entered her cell and she didn't even bother looking up. She was sweating slightly, sitting on her prison bed with a knee up and her other leg curled. Her hair was sticking to her a little, and if one were to look closer they would see her body lightly shaking.

"You look sickly, milady. Perhaps I shall have a bowl of soup come your way?" he spoke congenially.

"That would be nice," she said stiffly.

"If I feel kind then," Hengist shrugged, turning in a circle and observing her room. "Although…I've yet to receive word from Uther Pendragon. I would have assumed he would be eager to pay; anything for his ward. I was informed he was extremely fond of you. Was I wrong? Are you not surprised it seems he has left you here to die? Or sooner than one can assume, if one can gather by your appearance and sickly manner."

Merlin laughed self-depreciating. "I would not be so sure. Uther is a hard man and harder to care for others and have others care for him still. My surprise is minimal."

Hengist cackled. "I wasn't informed the Lady was so cynical. One would think, though, that you of all people would know Camelot's King best."

Most probably, if Merlin were truthful. That is, Merlin herself probably knew the King best of anyone –alive at least.

"How can I know the King's mind when I am locked in your sticking cell?" she said tiredly, putting what little bite she could in the statement.

"If I do not hear from Uther by dawn tomorrow, this stinking cell will be the last place you ever see," he cackled again, before leaving her behind and slamming the cell door behind him.

Merlin slumped further on the bed, losing even more energy. It was getting harder to breathe and she decided that it might be a good idea to lie down. She fell asleep, waking only when she heard the door open and someone drop a bowl of broth by the door.

She was having trouble moving, but she forced herself up. That didn't do well for her and she fell back onto the bed. Groaning, she pushed herself off the bed and landed on the stone floor. She let out another groan and winced from the pain of the impact, before focusing on dragging her body across the floor over to the bowl. She forced herself to feed herself, moving very slowly.

She passed out after feeding herself as much as she could. She only woke up when she heard someone whispering her name urgently.

"Merlin!"

Merlin opened her eyes lethargically, seeing Lancelot at the same opening, looking at her worriedly and like he was about to panic…and probably do something stupid.

"Are you alright?" he whispered anxiously to her.

"Oh, I'm definitely sick," she winced, feeling her head ache when she tried to sit up.

She gave up and lay back on the stone floor, looking up at Lancelot pathetically.

"I was terrified I'd come see your cell empty," he muttered, gripping onto the bars tightly.

"I think Hengist is growing suspicious. There's been no word from Uther, but I think I've managed to make him believe that Uther is as cold-hearted as ever, even to the 'Lady Morgana'. Not that that's hard to believe," she held back from snorting.

"Keep up the pretense," Lancelot urged. "I will not allow you to die here. I swear."

"You are everything that is right with this world," Merlin laughed happily, though she cut it short when she felt her chest constrict painfully.

"I didn't know you felt that," Lancelot gave her a small smile.

"Lancelot, you are one of the most honorable, noble, and kindest men I've ever known. It will be an honor having known you," she told him sincerely.

"Don't speak that way, Merlin!" Lancelot started to panic again, having caught her more hopeless tone underneath. "I will not let you die here! Please, Merlin! The Prince Arthur cares for you deeply and will be most devastated if you don't hang on."

"Okay, okay," she grumbled, feeling her body wrack with pain.

"You know, you have given me reason to live," Lancelot murmured, trying to keep her conscious. "After losing so much hope and giving up so many times, to see you again has relit the fire in me. To hear of your belief in me, to have news that the woman I love is still attainable to me and possibly waiting for me in Camelot, and lastly that I must live to first protect and save you from this place and then continue on to cherish your comradeship and your trust. You are truly a most wonderous and special woman, Merlin, and I wish to live to keep knowing you and live as kin. You are like a –no, you _are_ very much a sister to me, and I will live to honor that familial bond."

Merlin chuckled in her head, remembering that she and Lancelot actually _had_ been siblings in that other world…

Making herself get up, ignoring Lancelot's urging for her to lay and rest, she stumbled over to him. She pricked her finger and grabbed his hand, with him going silent, and then started making a large symbol on his hand with her blood. Then she pricked his other hand and held out the hand she hadn't pricked.

"Copy," she said breathily, already losing her breath over her managing to come over there and just standing up.

He took the hand, careful not to mess up the blood drawn symbol on the hand he used to grab and steady hers, and began drawing the exact symbol carefully and with his full concentration. Once he was done, she took her hand and held it up, he copied, and then she placed them together. Their hands glowed gold, before fading away.

"And now we are officially blood siblings," she declared. "Though I probably should have asked first…"

Lancelot shook his head vehemently. "No, I am honored…sister. I will get you out."

She nodded tiredly and he practically flew at the sound of footsteps. She slid to her knees and leaned against the wall, her breathing picking up.

Merlin was woken up roughly and dragged to see Hengist in that horrid cage.

"Morgana, Morgana! I keep asking myself, 'Why does Uther not pay the ransom? He's a rich man, why would he leave his beloved ward to suffer a slow and terrible death?'"

"I don't know. Please. Please..." Merlin mumbled incoherently, gone with fever.

She backed up into the corner of the cage and he grabbed one of her hands. She couldn't help the whimper that escaped from her lips.

"It must be very upsetting to know that Uther has abandoned you. It seems like no one in the world cares for you."

'_Yes, no one,' _Merlin screamed in her head. She was all alone. And it wasn't surprising that Uther had –after all, the real Morgana was safe in Camelot and she was just Merlin.

"I don't know why he doesn't pay. Please, I don't know," she moaned in pain.

"I don't think he is taking me seriously," Hengist decided darkly. "Why else is he not paying for one he supposedly cares so much? He must think me a fool or cowardly liar."

She tried to yank out of his hold but he just gripped her tighter and slammed the hand he was holding against a bar. She screamed in pain.

"Your hands, your skin is so soft," he licked his lips, leering at her and bringing his face disgustingly close to hers. She remembered a time when Arthur and Uther had told her the same things, and had the urge to bash this man's head against the bars of the cage. "It is such a shame to have to kill such beauty."

"You wouldn't dare," Merlin glared weakly at him. "Uther will declare war on you."

"Then he should have taken me seriously," Hengist sneered. "This will teach him a lesson. If he had taken me seriously from the beginning, he would not have to suffer the loss of his beloved ward."

He let her go and her knees buckled, causing her to crash painfully to the floor.

"If Uther thinks he can make a fool out of me, I will show him. And I'll use _you_ to do it," he scowled. "Take her to her cell."

She was thrown back to her cell, landing thankfully on her prison bed. She lay there, unable to move much and her mind going hazy. All she knew next, somehow Lancelot had gotten into the room, telling her he'd drugged the guards, and was now dragging her out of that place. She tried to help as much as she could, but she could barely stand up, much less control her movements.

"I'm so sorry," she muttered. "I am slowing us down."

"No, no. It's not your fault. You are sick. I must get you out quickly and find someone to heal you," Lancelot squeezed her tightly, trying to focus on getting them out of there while making sure she was alright and helping to move her along.

He stopped in the tunnels, looking around hopelessly. He had no choice. He would have to stay behind.

"Merlin, Merlin. Please, listen to me carefully," he shook her lightly, trying to make her focus on him. "Go through this tunnel. I will stay behind and buy you as much time as I can."

"I am not leaving you," she protested.

"You must," he said firmly, standing her straight and stepping back from her.

"No. I will not leave you here to die," she stated angrily, hitting his arm.

He winced. For being sick, Merlin could still pack some damage…

"I would die for you 100 times over. Live for me, or everything that I am has been for nothing," he announced fervently. "You have helped to make me who I am, Merlin. I would not be here today, be the man I am, if not for you."

"As long as I live, my feelings for you will never fade," Merlin clenched her hands, staring at the ground. "You are one of the best men I know, Lancelot. This," she held up her hand, where the blood was still in the process of fading away, "is sign of my bond to you as sister, and I will hold true to that bond. You better come back alive, Lance."

He blinked in bemusement, wondering if she had just called him 'Lance'…

"Run. Don't stop running until you are well away from here," Lancelot focused back on the present. He saw her hesitating. "Run. Run," he kept urging her.

Lancelot fought off the bandits that began to stream in as Merlin ran. She paused when she heard a yell, hoping that wasn't Lancelot, and then forced herself to keep running. Unfortunately, she stumbled and then blinked several times, vision going away and coming back randomly, making it hard to see.

She stumbled one last time before blacking out.

* * *

"You are just showing off," Arthur huffed at his father as they scaled the stone walls of the castle.

Surprisingly, though both of them were doing fine climbing, his father seemed even better at it than Arthur.

"I had practice with your mother," was what his father replied with.

"I did _not_ need to know that."

Uther rolled his eyes and they managed to get inside. They found some bandits guarding and father and son looked at each other.

"You distract them, I'll knock them out," Arthur said first.

Uther shook his head at his son. "You just do this because you have no talent in distraction, isn't it?"

"I have no idea what –!"

But Uther had already gone in and brought attention to himself.

"Who the hell are you?!" One of the bandits yelled at Uther.

"Me? I'm King," Uther nodded surely.

The two bandits burst into laughter.

"Yeah, right. And I'm King of Camelot," the other bandit snickered.

"No, actually that's me," Uther said in boredom. "But my son wants to take charge for once, I suppose he is temporarily King for one second."

The bandits stared incredulously at him, before Arthur knocked them out.

"Completely useless," Uther looked down contemptuously on the bandits.

"That actually worked out pretty well," Arthur commented. "Ready to go?"

"Lead the way, _King_ Arthur."

Arthur glowered at his father. "Shut up, old man."

They dressed in the bandits' clothes, sneaking their way to where it seemed everyone was gathered and the entertainment was. They saw, strangely, someone they didn't think they'd be seeing any time soon. Lancelot was in the middle of the cage, tied up as he glared at Hengist.

"Before you die, I can promise you the most unimaginable pain," Hengist declared with sadistic glee.

"You can do what you will with me. I do not care. You can do no harm to Merlin."

Both men secretly listening in were tensed with anticipation, though hope filled them that Merlin might have gotten away.

"Oh, was that her name, huh? The serving girl? Yes, yes –I found that out just as you two attempted to escape. And you really believe she's worth dying for?" he asked in dark amusement.

"She is worth more to me than you will ever understand," Lancelot defiantly sneered.

Uther frowned, but also glanced at Arthur, seeing his son still and mouth pressed into a frown.

Hengist nodded, and the gate was opened. All three men watched in horror as Merlin was dragged into the cage, sickly pale and head lolling around raggedly.

"You thought she got away. No. You failed her. And that must hurt you 'more than I will ever understand,'" Hengist laughed cruelly.

Surprisingly, Kendrick was dragged out as well and Hengist's sadistic grin widened.

"Now the fun will begin! I will let _one_ of you live, providing that the winner is the one who gives us the most entertainment. Who shall it be? The current champion who will undoubtedly continue to fight again and again in this cage for our amusement," Hengist gestured to a furious Lancelot.

"To my most useful man, who has always given me his best and done his job well," he gestured next to an alert and tense Kendrick.

"Or…to the lovely, pretty servant girl, who –I must commend you, my lovely –played the part of noblewoman quite well, even in her sick state. I can see some…very desirable outcomes and uses for you." Merlin just moaned in pain, but the men close to her were shaking in anger at the implications.

"Restraints," Hengist called out and Kendrick rushed to the bars and held out his arms for the ties to be cut, while Lancelot did the same, hoping to be free first to defend Merlin, who was unable to move and was pretty much unconscious and laying helpless.

Unfortunately, he could tell his restraints were being cut slower and he froze as he heard a scream behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to see Kendrick enjoying straddling his sister and trying to roughly grab at her, while she fought as much as she could in her weakened state.

"I have been waiting patiently to be able to do this, pretty little temptress," he heard Kendrick's guttural moan, the words echoing in the chamber and bringing more jeers and encouragement from the crowd.

"Come on, come on!" Lancelot screamed at the person cutting his bonds. Cursing to himself, he said forget it and turned quickly, rushing to them and throwing himself at the brute who was trying to take advantage of his sister.

He managed to get the rope tying his hands over Kendrick's neck and started to try to strangle the man, who furiously fought him off. He started hearing screams and loud boos, but didn't figure out why until he saw Arthur Pendragon himself, standing angrily in front of him and swinging his sword in their direction. He gulped and managed to get off of and away from Kendrick in time for the Prince's sword to pierce Kendrick dead.

Without a word, and still looking angry, Arthur cut his bonds efficiently.

"Pick her up and support her," he ordered Lancelot, pointing at Merlin. "Drop her or let her get hurt, and I will kill you."

He nodded vehemently.

"Release the Wilddeoren!" Hengist screamed.

Arthur cursed and held out his sword in front of him, and Lancelot shifted his hold on Merlin more protectively. Hengist aimed his crossbow at them, but Lancelot looked down and saw Merlin weakly staring in that direction and mutter something. Next he knew, there was a chandelier coming down on Hengist, who managed to dodge at last second.

However, Uther was still there and had been able to sneak up on Hengist, grabbing the man from behind and pulling him further back and be hidden.

"Did you really think I would let you get away with this slight?" Uther hissed into his ear. "You are a fool, Hengist."

"But why?" Hengist croaked out. "She is just a servant, after all. She is not your precious Lady Morgana."

"She is not Morgana, but she is precious to me all the same," Uther squeezed his neck warningly, digging the point of his dagger into the man's side a little more.

"Ah –ah!" Hengist closed his eyes. "I…suppose you aren't so 'cold as ice and carved from stone' after all," he choked out.

Uther clenched his jaw tight, knowing whose words those were from.

"Important enough that I would come _personally_ to retrieve her," Uther growled and then shoved the dagger into Hengist's side without further warning.

Hengist screamed, bringing attention on them and Uther kept him in front of him, dragging him to the entrance of the cage. He kicked the man through it before jumping in as well, going into momentum and taking a good swipe at the Wilddeoren's tail and slicing a piece of it off. He dodged when it angrily swung about to face him, giving the opening Arthur needed to drive his sword fatally into its neck.

"The tunnels! It's our only hope!" Arthur screamed at him.

He nodded and they quickly came together, rushing towards the entrance of the tunnels. Hengist, bleeding out, still managed to come after them, not wanting to stay behind by the (while dying) still alive Wilddeoren. He glanced over at Merlin to check on her, seeing her mutter something. The rope holding the gate was cut and Hengist was trapped in the cage with the beast, leaving them free to run away. The man's scream echoed, but no one cared or looked back.

"I see you're still up to your old tricks, Merlin," he heard Lancelot mutter to Merlin in amusement.

Uther was only slightly surprised (because it made sense) that Lancelot knew about Merlin's magic. Probably saw how the gryphon was defeated truthfully…

"It's probably best you don't tell anyone about that," Merlin replied in equal amusement, just a lot more exhausted.

The three of them, plus the girl Lancelot carried, stopped running when they reached locked bars at the end of the tunnel. Arthur tried to break the chain, while Uther silently held out his arms and gestured for Lancelot to give Merlin over to him, which he hesitantly did while in shock.

"Good to see you both. Where are your knights?" Lancelot said lightly, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

"It's just us. Got to keep moving," Arthur bit his lip hard as he worked.

"Thank you, Your Highness, Arthur. We owe you our lives," Lancelot was in awe that the two royals had actually come all the way out there, by themselves at that, to save Merlin and even managed to save him also.

Uther waved it off. "This little one does that for us all the time. Give it a pass, because we're just returning the favor."

"And because we care so very deeply about her," Arthur teased his father, just as he managed to break the chain and the gate.

Uther rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything.

Lancelot smiled to himself, glad that father and son looked to be now on very good terms with each other.

Soon enough, the three men were sitting at a campfire in the woods, with Arthur pouting at an unconscious Merlin while Uther hovered over her.

"I'm surprised you would undertake such a rescue mission...with just the two of you," Lancelot hesitantly brought up, though he was very curious.

Arthur, he could understand, as he remembered the Prince had deep feelings for his sister, even though at the time Arthur had thought Merlin a male. But the King…

Arthur glanced at his father, knowing the question was more about him anyways.

"I treasure Merlin's advice and her company very much so," Uther surprisingly spoke, making both younger men startle and stare at him wide-eyed. "She has helped me to make my hard decisions and stand by me when no one else would."

Lancelot licked his lips nervously. "I am sorry, Sire. It is just that it is a surprise to see you come personally to rescue her…especially when the both of us had not thought you would care to pay the ransom and she seemed completely sure you wouldn't care."

At that, Uther looked pained.

"I don't think she knows or understands just how important she is to me," Uther actually revealed, flooring both Lancelot and Arthur (who even knew that his father cared greatly for his fiancée).

"I am sorry," Lancelot repeated, looking down. "I just hadn't thought you would come after her yourself, or know you two were so close. And especially alone and without any guards, particularly when you are the King himself."

Awkward silence descended upon them.

"What were you doing there, Lancelot?" Arthur blurted out.

"I came to save Merlin," he answered, slightly confused at the Prince's behavior. "What about you?" He had been about to be sarcastic…but he was never really good at sarcasm, as he was always too honest and straightforward sounding all the time, it seemed.

"Likewise," Arthur deadpanned.

It was awkwardly silent again.

"You have…feelings for Merlin, don't you?" Lancelot hesitantly ventured, glancing worriedly at the King and wondering if he really should be bringing this up in front of him. But Uther didn't seem altogether surprised or at all angry about it, and he could maybe guess that the King even knew about it…"It's so obvious. A blind man can see it," Lancelot smiled at that.

"Of course," Arthur murmured. "How can I not admit that I think about her all the time? Or that…I care about her more than anyone. I wouldn't know what to do if any harm were to come to her."

"So thank you," Uther interrupted quietly. "For taking care of her and making sure she was as fine as she could be in that place, especially when it was obvious she was too sick to defend herself. That she could be so helpless…" He looked aggrieved at that. "Yes, and especially when that man tried to do the most unmentionable things to her in that cage…" At that, the King looked even worse.

"I would never let any harm come to her," Lancelot resolutely said. "She means a great deal to me also."

Arthur flinched. "Do you…do you have feelings for her?"

Lancelot blinked, feeling something amiss and hesitant. "Well, yes. She is my blood sister. Er, in name and every bond imaginable, though we are not truly by blood," he added, glancing at the King who was watching him closely at that. He started sweating nervously.

But Arthur was relieved and didn't notice anything wrong. "I see."

It finally clicked. "Oh. Oh! No, no. Merlin is truly my sister," Lancelot explained steadfastly. "Truthfully, I am very fond of Guinevere and talks with Merlin have granted me hope that I may pursue her."

All three men shared a bonding laugh and the atmosphere lightened up.

"I…I must leave though," Lancelot said suddenly. "I must continue my travels and hope to be the man Merlin put so much faith in me to be. I had lost hope, but Merlin has brought it back to me. My journey is not yet complete, and I wish to finish it and come back to her proud as I am and honorably."

"You will not stay and say goodbye?" Arthur asked worriedly.

Lancelot shook his head. "It will be less painful this way. I do not wish to aggrieve Merlin any more than I must, especially in her condition. Please tell her that she has changed me forever and I look forward to coming back to her as a better man."

"Then know, when you return to Camelot, that your knighthood will be restored," Uther declared in a quiet voice, surprising them again.

Lancelot looked at him gratefully. "Thank you, Sire. Goodbye to you both."

Lancelot left them and Arthur threaded his hand through his feverous fiancée's hair, while Uther leaned against a tree, hands in his pocket as he stared at the stars in contemplation.

The next morning, Merlin awoke first and looked around in a panic for Lancelot.

"Where is Lancelot?" she cried out, waking the other two. "Where is he?"

"He is gone," Arthur murmured to her, hugging her in comfort.

"He wished to express to you how you have changed him forever," Uther spoke up, still strangely quiet.

Merlin sniffed and cried, holding onto Arthur.

* * *

Arthur walked up the stairs, having Merlin hide behind him. Uther followed behind, amused at the semi-prank/gift his son was going to pull, and wanting to see it happen. Morgana stood on the Gryphon's Landing, staring out the window worriedly.

"Morgana," Arthur cried out, looking at her. "There's someone here to see you."

And then he stepped aside to reveal Merlin, dressed in the extra men's clothes they packed with them, waving weakly at an overjoyed Morgana, who ran over to the sick sorceress and hugged her tightly.

"Merlin! I thought I'd never see you again."

"Nghh…" was all the warning they had before Merlin fainted.

Morgana cried out in alarm and did her best to hold onto Merlin and not drop her, and Arthur took over and rushed to them, picking up Merlin and carrying her.

"He's sick," Arthur told Morgana quickly. "I'll tell him that you're happy he's back and would like to see him, but wait until he's better, alright?"

And then he was rushing her to Gaius', where the physician immediately began to work on her, worrying about Merlin just as much as the Prince was. A few moments later, they were joined by the King who quietly stood in the back and let Arthur stay close to her and let Gaius do his job, practically blending into the walls.

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, starting to worry about his father also.

Started 9/19/12 – Completed 9/21/12

A/n: Hmm, so we got family time~ Alas, have I said how much last chapter's Uther/Merlin talk is a pain? They always are, because they always tend to be complex and thoughtful and ugh.

**To dhh: (your message) "So, just becuz a READER gives you HONEST to god FACTS/ERRORS to your story and it's NOT to YOUR liking, then, they're a troll..How utterly "pathetic" and repulsive can you behave and act...Lame!"**

**Okay…Are you some kind of masochist? Because I'm pretty sure when I say 'Go to Hell', it means leave me the hell alone. I'm kind of befuddled and amused at this point. I've been patient with you in the past –you've been a right bitch then. I got sick of it, so I finally said 'whatever' and told you to eff off. And yet…you decide to comment anyway? Like seriously –you've done this on several fics of mine and don't get the message to be polite or go away.**

**You call yourself a reader, and yet you do nothing but complain and throw around insults (which you're the only one at this point insulting as I only said 'go to hell' and called you a troll, which really looks true). You pointedly said you disliked this fic –and I said WHY DID YOU READ ALL FIFTEEN CHAPTERS THEN? And apparently, you still had it on alert as you found the new chapter and managed to read all the way to the end of the new chapter and _then_ saw my comment to you and decided to leave another rude review.**

**You wanna call your honest to god facts/errors? I'll shove them right in your face. Your review to chapter one: you disliked the oath and thought Merlin should've added some kind of addendum to void the oath if harm came to her –are you fucking kidding me? It's the first chapter, Uther and Merlin have no bond or care to each other –such a thing would have made her look arrogant and think she was above him, and he WOULD HAVE KILLED HER FOR HER INSOLENCE. He was the one holding all the cards, and she had no choice but to go along, especially as she afraid of him at that point. And you obviously don't watch the show –canon!Merlin cares about Camelot's people, regardless of 'who knows what kind of people in Camelot will be in the future'. Duh.**

**Your second review at the last chapter before I recently updated: Fuck it, you are out of your mind and ungrateful. One, each chapter has a separate date and so that's how long the chapter took to be written. Second, if I can't write a fucking chapter, I CAN'T WRITE A FUCKING CHAPTER. Who cares how long it took, as long it gets out? I write on my free time for free. To you the chapter sucked, but everyone else liked it and the fucking episode didn't really have much, did it? I did what I could with the lame episode, so fuck off. And if you were disappointed with the story overall, again why the fuck did you read all the way? God, you're so stupid then. Stop reading, if you don't think you're going to like it. Don't force yourself, dumbass.**

**YOU WERE BLOCKED. YOU'VE BEEN BLOCKED. AND YET YOU STILL WANT TO LEAVE A JERKY REVIEW ON A NEW CHAPTER OF A STORY YOU DISLIKE. PERSIST, AND I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL FUCKING REPORT YOUR HARASSMENT AND I'LL ASK OTHERS TO DO THE SAME IF I HAVE TO. FOR THE LAST TIME –LEAVE ME ALONE.**


	18. Wrap Me Up

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S2.4 ("Lancelot and Guinevere") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/?, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin, one-sided Morgana/Merlin, slight Edwin/Merlin (mostly one-sided), slight Nimueh/Merlin (mostly one-sided)...

**The Day the Whole World Went Away**  
_Chapter Eighteen: Wrap Me Up_

Gaius wasn't happy. At all. The King and Crown Prince were missing and there was no sign of them except for a hastily written letter by Uther and a vague reassurance from Lady Morgana.

The letter was part of the problem.

Uther had left behind a quick letter, more like a note by how short it was, saying he'd gone with Arthur to get Merlin (stupidly, Gaius would add) and basically ordered Gaius to take care of Camelot in his stead. And then the stupid man had signed it, not with his name, but with an equally as stupid thing that was supposed to be a drawing. Some…thing made to look like a man (it was really an oval for a body, and circles for the head, hands, and feet), cape and crown (and a bloody sword of all things) included. It reminded him too much of similar times in Uther's youth…

That bloody letter was going to go straight into the fire as soon as he got to throw it at Uther's face, the moment the man came back from his journey.

And then crap hit the fan.

Morgana burst into the room where he was currently holding a meeting with the council, with him glowering and glaring at everything (the others in the room were wary of Gaius and hesitant to talk). Let it not be unsaid that none of them were unhappy and were in fact very grateful for her interruption.

"Gaius, you're needed!"

Even more grateful when it was clear she was taking the agitated physician away. Reluctantly, he followed her. But he started to hurry when Morgana told him of the situation, the two of them managing to get to Gaius' chambers before Arthur had managed to come there with Merlin. Morgana was forced away and he began to work on his niece at once. Arthur worriedly hovered, but thankfully didn't come close and interfered with his work.

Not too long after, Uther joined them and uncharacteristically stayed quiet and almost camouflaging himself with the walls. It was worrying, but Gaius couldn't afford to let himself think too much on it right then.

"She has a sprained, if not fractured, hand. Possibly from being slammed against something. Bars, by the line marks that haven't faded away," Gaius started to make note of the injuries. "Her ankle is similarly sprained, not as badly hurt but made worse because of lack of proper care and rest that could've helped it easily. Probably the injury Lady Morgana had stated she'd gotten in the attempt to run away. And…" Gaius hesitated. "Bruising around a breast, slightly hand-shaped…a day or two old, maybe."

Arthur growled. "So he probably tried to take advantage of her even before that time."

Uther's lips tightened.

Gaius frowned, not up to date yet, but angry himself with the implications. Still, he forced himself to continue on.

"A suspicious red mark on her neck…a handprint bruise on her face…and obviously her sickness. She seems to have had a dangerously high fever, maybe started the day of her leave from Camelot," Uther winced here, for some reason, "And signs point to a very ugly cold."

"How long until she is better?" Arthur demanded to know.

"Well…with her high tolerance to pain and usual rapid recovery, with the aid of medicine Merlin should be back to normal within the week," Gaius had estimated.

"Very well. If that is all, I wish to be left alone with her," Uther declared decisively. "If there are any instructions or things needed to be done for her, inform me now, Gaius. I shall attend to her for the meantime."

Gaius' eyebrows almost shot up into his hairline. Arthur, strangely enough, didn't look too surprised but was more curious.

"As His Highness wishes," Gaius let it be. He told Uther what instructions he had, and left out the medicines she would need to take once she'd awoken.

And then it was just the King and sorceress left in the room.

Uther took a seat next to her, staying as quiet as he had been (upset with everything that had been going on, and definitely upset with himself and all that he'd missed), while grabbing onto one of her hands and holding it in his. He waited a long time, until it was nearly three hours later, when she finally awoke. She was groggy and not very coherent when she first opened her eyes, but she steadily gained awareness the longer she stayed awake.

"Take this and then this," Uther said, starting to hand her the vials and helping her down the liquids in them.

"Uther, what in the world?" she groaned, rubbing her arm down her face in exhaustion as she tried to make sense of things.

"You're here, back in Camelot," he told her without any inflection in his voice. "And now I have many things I need to talk to you about. 'Cold as ice and carved from stone?'"

Merlin winced. "Well, it is a rather flattering, in an intimidating way, description, right?"

"Yes, of course," he agreed, voice suspiciously normal. "When it is not you using the description."

Merlin winced again. "What are you doing here, Uther?" she asked tiredly.

"Attending to you."

She sighed in aggravation. "No, I mean _what are you doing here_? Don't you have work to do, a kingdom to run? You can't just be setting time aside to tend to some servant, and especially when it'll look suspicious."

"I don't care," he was equally as aggravated. "I'm King. I'll do whatever the hell I want."

"Don't be stubborn. You know you have better things to do than to be around here and watch over me," Merlin moaned and flopped back onto the bed, closing her eyes.

She felt a wet cloth press against her forehead, soothing her aching head. She hmmed in enjoyment her thanks.

"There is nothing more important to me, at this moment."

She opened her eyes and looked at him, and Uther just steadily looked back at her.

"You should have told me you weren't feeling well. I would not have sent you after Morgana, if I had known," Uther told her in an upset tone.

"Morgana needed to be protected," Merlin muttered. "She would not have been safe with the knights and Guinevere alone. I needed to be with her."

"Your safety is important as well!" Uther glared at her. "And Morgana would have willingly postponed her trip. She may have wanted to go, but she loves you and would have wanted you to go along with her, especially if you weren't well and needed rest."

"Why'd you even come after me? That's just as, if not more, suspicious than you deciding you're going to be in here tending to a servant," she grumbled.

She was startled badly, when his hand came heavily against the wooden table by her head.

"How obvious do I have to be to tell you are important to me? Perhaps I just need to be straight and speak it plainly, because it is not getting through your thick head. I would pay the ransom for you several times over, but I'd rather come after you myself. I do not just consider you a daughter, I have told you, Merlin, that you are –more than any blood could hope to be," for some reason, she felt as if Uther was saying something even more behind that and it made her both happy and in unease. "If I am cold, then you warm me up. If I am stone, you are able to push me over and break me. How could you have thought I would not pay ransom? Even if I had to feign it was Morgana, no matter that she is safe and whole at home, I would have done anything to bring you back."

Merlin started feeling awful, not wanting to see Uther upset anymore. She wished Arthur would come back in here, and then the two of them could be awkward males and be the typical 'I can't show emotion' men they usually are.

"I would have thought you'd expect me to go save myself and fix things like usual," she weakly joked, though she couldn't have helped the undertone of honesty.

"Just because I know you can take care of yourself, doesn't mean I won't worry. And it doesn't mean that you won't need help or saving every once in awhile. You are _not_ invincible, Merlin. And it would pain me if something were to happen to you, because you thought you were or I have made you thought so. Perhaps it is true that I do not care easily, but for those I do I care for fiercely. Do not mistake yourself as not one of them."

Merlin looked to the ceiling, feeling tears pricking at her eyes. His gloved hand ran through her hair tenderly and she instinctively butted her head against it. She could hear him chuckle softly above her, though she didn't move her head in his direction to see.

"You were so helpless and weak," he murmured. "You looked horrible. I feared for you when I first saw you in that cage. I felt as awful as when Arthur had been bitten by the Questing Beast…and when I'd learned you'd traded yourself. I felt worse when I knew that my obliviousness to your health and to your feelings helped you into that state and into that place, if I had just paid more attention to how you were feeling or pushed more when I noticed how off you were that morning. Or that I might never have gotten the chance to tell you all this…"

"I remember you were so quiet before," Merlin looked back in thought. "Don't be. I'm here and safe. Just no more guilt or worry or what if's. I'm here and it's all over."

He grabbed one of her hands and held it tight, laying his head on her chest after. She said nothing of the wetness she felt, letting him grieve alone.

"I remember telling you in a letter I had no father," she started softly. "I don't think I ever spoke to you about it, or expanded afterwards…He left my mother a long time ago, before I was born. He didn't even know my mother was pregnant, you see. I knew nothing about him and I don't know why he just left us, or Mum really. I've never met him and sometimes I don't even think I'd care to. But then…I met you. And I was _so happy that I did_. Maybe I hadn't at first, but then I really, really was. And with you came Arthur, my sweet, loving Arthur…and Gaius and Gwen and even Morgana. And Camelot and this place as home…And Gaia, you're probably the best thing that's happened to me because everything after you has become the happiest parts of my life," she blinked back tears she'd been trying to fight back all along.

"You know…I'm really, really happy I made that deal with you all that time ago."

"So am I," he mumbled into her shirt.

Merlin was glad she'd come to Camelot. She hadn't realized how happy she'd become there.

"Tell me everything that happened over there? No report, just… tell me what happened, what went on, how you felt…"

And Merlin reluctantly told him what had happened when the bandits had ambushed them and then afterwards. In return, he told her about his time with Arthur, traveling to get to her (with special emphasis on the reveal of the whole 'Sophia thing' and Arthur's mumbling about 'temporary insanity').

"Guinevere knows you're a female."

"Oh."

"Morgana still doesn't."

"…Oh."

"In fact, she'd told the whole council she was in love with you when she was pleading for us to get you back."

"_Oh_," and then she followed it up with a, "damn."

"My sentiments exactly."

On the outside, Arthur kept grinning and humming cheerily to himself as he eavesdropped on them. He decided by then that he should let them finally have some privacy and began fixing up Gaius' place a little, busying himself. He recalled the earlier beginnings of his father and Merlin's talk, and his grin widened.

"Happy family, happy family, ha~ppy family~" he sing-songed happily to himself.

Gaius entered and stared at him, raising his eyebrows at him incredulously.

"What is wrong with you, my boy?"

"I have such a happy family~" Arthur sang, grinning at the older man.

Gaius shook his head.

* * *

"Hello, Sleeping Beauty~"

Merlin rolled her eyes under her closed eyelids.

"What is wrong with you, Arthur?"

"Me? I am very happy, is all," he hummed in satisfaction, slipping in under her covers and wrapping his arms around her.

He kissed the back of her neck and sighed happily. She laughed lightly and took hold of his hands, bringing them to her lips and kissing them in return.

His hand brushed gently against the bruise on her face, his mood deflating.

"Tell me, what happened here," and she reluctantly told him. "And here," his hand trailed down and reached for her ankle, not able to reach all the way and actually touch it. She told him about that as well, knowing his good mood would leave him. "And…here," his hand gently touched at the bruise on her chest. When she hesitantly told him, he growled low in his throat.

"That man, the same one who was trying to take advantage of you in that cage," Arthur felt himself get angry in remembrance.

"Kendrick?" Merlin snorted. "Don't worry about him. He hadn't managed the other times, and I doubt he would have in that cage."

"So he tried it before then?" Arthur scowled and Merlin was forced to tell him about it. Then he had her tell him how she'd gotten each wound on her body and he kissed each one tenderly better, going down her body with care.

"I'm tired, Arthur," she mumbled against his chest. "Be here when I wake up?"

"Of course," he kissed the top of her head before joining her in slumber.

Beautiful and cunning, another sorceress watched the couple in contemplation. This girl was important to the Pendragon men. She was unable to hear, for some reason, but she could very clearly see how affectionate the men of that line were with this girl.

Morgause was already intrigued and scheming.

The tip of a spidery finger reached out and gently tipped over a small slab of stone, lined up against others. It hit against another, which hit another, and then another and another…

The rows and rows of miniature stone slabs fell one after the other in a domino effect, destroying its original pattern. Cause and effect. Affect and consequences. Actions and decisions.

She had work to do.

As either event happened, Uther and Morgana were sharing a quiet meal together. She had taken her old seat, since Merlin wasn't there, and Uther could not help but glance at it and picture another dark-haired girl sitting there instead. He inwardly berated himself, telling himself Morgana is there, he should pay attention and care for her…

_But she does not love you…_ A traitorous voice whispered in his head.

'_Quiet,'_ he snapped at himself.

_And it is not **Igraine's** blood, Morgana shares, is it –_

He reached over for his goblet, almost knocking it over in his haste. He caught it in time, spilling only slightly onto the table. Morgana looked alarmed and had reached over to help, but he'd managed it before she could reach him.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

"I am…fine," he smiled tightly. "Just…slightly tired and a little upset," he accidentally let slip.

"About…Merlin?" Morgana hesitantly asked, and he stiffened up, looking at her silently. "I'd noticed your care. You went after him yourself. And these meals are now accompanied by him. He means a great deal to us all, does he not?"

"Yes, I suppose he does," Uther conceded to admit, becoming wary.

"Then…would you not consider a betrothal between he and I?" Morgana asked tentatively.

Uther froze and stared at her. He couldn't possibly. Other than Merlin not truly being male, Arthur was already engaged to her.

"I will…consider it," he smiled awkwardly at her, hiding his grimace.

Oh God above, how was he going to do this?

Afterwards, in a perfect switch up, Arthur went over to his father's and Morgana to Merlin, neither meeting up with each other on the way and having no clue of what was going on. Morgana would sit by Merlin's side, as Uther caught Arthur up on the recent happenings and what they were going to have to do with Morgana.

It was a very long night.

When the next morning dawned, Merlin awoke stiff and sore, but at least better than she had been in that cell. Morgana was by her side, having fallen asleep leaning against her bed. She smiled slightly, though it faltered when she thought about Morgana still thinking she was male and how deep the other female's feelings were starting to become for her. She had to think up a way to fix this and soon, before the situation got any worse.

Morgana woke up quickly after and had breakfast brought to them. The older female helped feed Merlin, who was still too weak to do much of anything herself, and then Merlin was instructing Morgana on her magic once more.

"Have you been practicing that one spell? I know it's hard, considering where we are, but it'll be a step up in helping to control your magic," Merlin smiled gently at her.

Morgana flushed red, but nodded in answer to her question.

"Good. Show me."

Morgana did and then Merlin had her move on to something else. She still felt exhausted and a little sick, but she was really happy teaching Morgana and proud of her pupil's progress. It was a strange thought, having a pupil, but it also made her very joyful.

The taller female held the spell in her hands, smiling shyly at Merlin, who was huddling under her covers as she supervised Morgana's work. She smiled back reassuringly, causing Morgana to blush even more and lose her concentration, the spell practically exploding in their faces. Merlin fell back in shock on her bed, covers tangled all around her, and Morgana stood there in shock. Merlin's hair was wildly windblown, while Morgana's was standing on end and her face was covered in odd black powder.

"Well…that was something," Merlin commented.

That caused the two of them to burst out into laughter.

"So, I heard you confessed your undying love for me to all of the council," Merlin began the topic, speaking teasingly. The best thing, she thought, for her to fix that part of the situation was to somehow remind the other of their stations and propriety needed between them. "Touching, sweetheart, but it won't be accepted amongst others. In fact, disapproval seems likely for you to do such a thing and feel that way," she ended more seriously, though keeping her voice gentle.

But Morgana strangely stayed cheerful, even giving her a smug look.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty fine with the way things are. In fact, I think I have things covered and we won't have to worry too much about that pretty soon."

_Why_ was she feeling dread at those words?

* * *

Quiet and bizarrely still. Merlin noted it and it put her on edge. Something in the air was warning her, telling her that something was wrong.

"Hello."

Her head snapped up and she saw a beautiful blonde woman, standing by her bedside, brown cloak billowing slightly around her, even though there was no breeze in the room.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Merlin hissed, her senses warning her about this woman.

The woman gave a razor-sharp smile.

"I am Morgause. And I want to ruin this '_happy family_,'" and she laughed mockingly, tossing sand her way.

Blinded by it, she barely noticed there was already a circle of sand around her bed and that Morgause was standing behind on the other side.

"What –"

Her words were cut off as the sands lit on fire, quickly climbing towards her. Morgause had just put on her hood when Arthur opened the door, his eyes widening at the sight and seeing the mysterious figure by Merlin's fiery bedside, hood hiding the face of the intruder.

"Merlin!"

In just seconds, she was swallowed up by the flames and then the flames disappeared. But then so had she.

Numbly, Arthur stared at the empty spot and was at a lost.

He wasn't even aware enough to notice that the intruder had disappeared as well.

He would, at least, be glad to know that Merlin was actually safe and sound. Just not as he'd known her.

In fact, Merlin Ambrosius was not actually Merlin Ambrosius. Well, she knew her name was Merlin. She just…couldn't remember anything beyond her first name.

She wasn't even sure of where she was.

"Hello there, are you alright?"

She turned tiredly, noting her hurting ankle, and spotted a handsome man trotting towards her. He smiled beatifically and she stared in awe.

"Hello," she answered dazedly. "I'm Merlin. I think. I can't…remember much."

He blinked in surprise, but his smile stayed strong.

"My name is Tristan, fair lady, and I'm sure my sister Ingraine would love to help you."

Merlin smiled hesitantly, feeling very uncertain.

Started 10/1/12 – Completed 10/1/12

A/n: So "Beauty and Beast" ep won't be written up yet. Instead, I'm going to work on a mini-original arc that's sort of going parallel to what's going on with "The Day the Whole World Slept." So if you're reading that, some of what's happening there gets kick started in here.

To imaginex01: XD Thanks. I've just been really frustrated with that particular person, especially when I tried being polite and respectful before (it just doesn't get through their thick head). I was just done being nice to them. I pretty much posted their last flame with this fic on the note last chapter, so I could respond (before deleting the trash), and put basically what other flames they'd gave a response in that same note. They were just being an ass (and a persistent one at that), that I just had to tell that person off so they'd stop harassing me.

To I forgot my pw: Thanks! It feels great to be writing for this again, especially with people still supporting and reading it after all this time.

To emmahere: Thank you! I'm glad I was able to make your day. I'm trying to update this as much as I can, so I hope I'm at least faster than before. And your comments really mean a lot! I love writing, so I really try my best for it. I've always liked Lancelot, so I tried to keep him still in here (and I really can't wait for Gwaine –I'm also tempted to just throw him in here before his episode). I wanted to show that Merlin needed help too, every once and while, and it's just great fun and I enjoy writing the bonding scenes. Uther's talk was in here, but Arthur's is going to have to wait. As for the bad review, it wasn't really a bad review, it was more that person was a jerk and the reviews were harassment (they've done it on several other fics, yet continue to read anyways). I just wanted to lash out finally.

To Guest: Yes, Merlin should tell Morgana soon. Unfortunately, things will be getting in the way :D (Wait, I shouldn't be smiling at that…)


	19. Audi Separation

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S2.4 ("Lancelot and Guinevere") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/?, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin, one-sided Morgana/Merlin, slight Edwin/Merlin (mostly one-sided), slight Nimueh/Merlin (mostly one-sided)...

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Nineteen: Audi Separation_

The wind was gently blowing her hair everywhere. There were the smells of flowers and grass and fruits…And the stillness of the air, feeling tranquil instead of disturbing…

It was so peaceful…so calm…

She felt at peace.

And to him, she was absolutely beautiful. He didn't know where she came from, who she was, _what _she was…only that for some reason, God above had gifted him and sent him an angel.

She had no memory. She didn't know who she was. She only knew that she was called Merlin, and that was it.

Merlin had come to him injured, and just in the process of recovering from a bad cold. When she had a fever, he sat by her bedside and held her hand, murmuring sweet things into her ear and keeping her company as he cooled her head with a wet rag.

He'd thought he could ask Ingraine for help…but something held him back and he felt like keeping Merlin all to himself. He didn't want anyone else to know about her and he didn't want to share her with others.

Tristan didn't know why he felt this way.

And now, seeing her like this, so serene and beautiful with a content smile on her face…it took his breath away and made him want all the more to keep his secret.

Hesitantly, he walked over to her and then lay by her side, staring at her peaceful face. He felt at peace himself, and wondered if it was her doing. Was it magic? Or was there just something about her that was special?

"I like it here," she suddenly murmured, breaking into his thoughts. "Everything is in harmony. I feel the same way. Nothing is…chaotic or upsetting."

"You can stay here for as long as you like," he whispered. "I won't ever turn you out."

She turned her head towards him and gave him a curious, searching look. And then she gave him the most brightest smile he'd ever seen.

"Thank you," she murmured.

After a moment of hesitation and shyness, she bit her lower lip and moved in a haltering way towards him, tilting her head and lightly pressing her lips against his. His eyes fluttered close and he kissed her firmly.

"_Merlin? Merlin, where are you?!"_

But she couldn't hear that voice no matter how hard that person tried.

And tried, Arthur did. As time moved faster in the past, the time Arthur was in moved to a slow crawl. He called out to Merlin desperately, hurrying into the room and avoiding the sand as he tried to find a clue as to where she'd gone or what that stranger had done to her.

All he had was the sand left over from what spell was used on Merlin.

Unable to find anything in the room, or understand what he did have, he rushed over to Gaius' room and burst through, finally waking the old man. The physician blinked dazedly, waking up slowly.

"What in the world? What is it, Sire?"

"Merlin's been taken!"

That got Gaius up quickly and he hurriedly followed Arthur back to Merlin's room, while the young man recounted what little he'd seen happened. The mysterious magic-user worried Gaius greatly, as did this mention of some kind of 'sand.' And when he saw the sand, his eyes darkened and he frowned deeply.

"Arthur, I think those may be sands from the Sands of Time," Gaius murmured grimly. "I must collect a sample to be sure, and also to see what else could have been added. Bring me two vials from my work lab. I will collect sand from both around the bed and on it, from where you said sand had been on Merlin."

Arthur nodded and left to do as he was asked, coming back quickly after with the requested vials. Gaius carefully put the sand he needed into both vials before scurrying down to his work lab, Arthur following uncertainly behind him.

"I…I shouldn't tell Father," Arthur muttered. "He loves Merlin, and her being taken with sorcery might set him off. He becomes unreasonable when it becomes involved, and Merlin being harmed by it will upset him. No, no…I have to save her myself. Do this on my own. With your help, of course, Gaius."

"Perhaps you should ask for the Lady Morgana's help," Gaius suggested, inwardly resigned to the realization he would have to perform Merlin's usual duty of reporting to Uther in this case, and informing the King about her disappearance. "She loves Merlin. She would be aggrieve at her disappearance and will wish to help. The more people, perhaps the quicker we can bring Merlin back home."

Arthur cringed, not liking the idea of having to bring in Morgana, especially in regards to his rival's feelings for his fiancée, but bringing back Merlin was more important and he'll just have to put up with her. So as Arthur went to go ask for Morgana's help, Gaius reluctantly went to Uther to inform him of the situation.

He found the King quietly looking out of his window, and when Uther turned, there was a small and sincerely happy smile on his face that Gaius had not seen for a long time. Not since Ingraine at least. However, seeing Gaius, Uther's face smoothed over (though he kept the smile to a smaller degree and still was friendly).

"You're quiet. Like earlier. It was unsettling. Anything on your mind, Uther?" Gaius decided he'd work towards telling him the news.

"Just a lot of things," Uther mused. "Mostly that I feel as if I failed Merlin. My earlier talk with her has helped, but I wish there was more I can do. I know I must try harder, talk more with her."

Gaius cringed, just like Arthur had earlier.

"Uther…Merlin has been taken."

Uther froze, staring at him as if Gaius was some mystical beast. And then Uther yelled out in anger, practically reaching him in seconds as the man strode over in fury. Gaius cringed again, almost reminded of the time Uther had started lashing out after Ingraine's death. The man's green eyes were blazing with his anger, and his body was visibly tense and almost as if to attack.

"Where. Is. _She_?" Uther hissed, stopping _just_ short of Gaius and leaning in dangerously.

Gaius, in a way, had not exactly understood or known the depths of Uther's affections for Merlin. The King had always been very keen on keeping his affections to himself and had never been known to show his emotions or care freely or expressively, even for Arthur. That he do so now, for Merlin…

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Uther roared out and Gaius slightly jumped from the sound and force of it, brought out of his musings.

But instead of cringing away or being frightened off, Gaius smiled sadly at his old friend and placed a hand on Uther's shoulder and squeezed in understanding. As both men who cared for the girl who was missing, feelings were shared and understood between them. Uther's anger drained out of him and his body slightly hunched over, the King looking exhausted and defeated, almost a visage of how he was after he'd just lost Ingraine.

Gaius' heart clenched in pain for his friend and for their missing girl. He reluctantly told Uther what had happened and what was being done now to help bring her back.

"I see. I'll come down in a second and read one of the books –"

"Sire," Gaius unwillingly cut him off. "I think it best that you do not help. Arthur and Morgana may know you care for Merlin now…but it is known how much you hate magic. To involve yourself now…"

Uther looked away from him quickly, frustrated and pained at the restraints being placed on him.

"Can you at least bring one of the books to me? I can read and still help out, and maybe find something…even if I must hide in my room," Uther muttered.

"Of course, Uther. Of course."

Useless. Uther felt useless. He felt as useless and helpless then, as he did when Merlin had been taken and ransomed not too long ago. Now, she's been taken again, not even a few days fresh from her last kidnapping.

"Again, I am unable to do anything for her. And this time, I cannot even come after her to save her," Uther's hands clenched.

"Everything will be fine, Uther. You see. Arthur will bring her back. I just need to find out what's been done to her and where she is, and Merlin will be home in no time," Gaius tried to reassure him.

Uther didn't feel very reassured. In fact, he felt hopeless and angry with himself.

"You said that the sands might be of the Sands of Time?" Uther asked dully.

"Yes. It could very well be that she is again in the future, or the past this time. I need to study the sands, and they may give me a clue –"

But what Gaius had said had clicked with Uther and he was rushing away from his startled physician and heading towards his wardrobe, grabbing the small chest hidden inside, where he'd kept all of Ingraine's letters and special things. There, he rummaged through it and grabbed a specific letter.

"Dear Ingraine, I dearly hope you are in fine health and are probably frolicking around like fey youths with Uther in Camelot. I am happy to reassure you I am not 'rotting away' like a bag of old bones in our family's summer home. In fact, I am in heaven, dear sister. I am in heaven and living with an angel…With love, Tristan…" Uther murmured, reading the preserved words of Ingraine's older brother.

Gaius stared at him.

"Could it be? Is Merlin in the past…with Tristan…?" Uther likewise stared at the letter.

"Tristan was…He was…very fond of this mysterious girl he'd fervently talked about in those days," Gaius felt unsteady. "He became so very lost when she mysteriously disappeared. No one other than him had ever talked to or seen her. It had torn him apart and he'd never really recovered from it…and partly the reason why he'd so easily and freely blamed you for Ingraine's death and come after you."

Uther looked sharply at him. "Did he wanted to die?"

Gaius sighed. "Only he knows. And as we know, he is dead. For real this time," they briefly recalled his wraith.

"Will you tell me what you can for the situation? Merlin…Merlin is usually the one who tells me everything…" Uther trailed off into a whisper.

"I will," Gaius promised. "I will return shortly with a book for you to search through, while the rest of us will be grouped into my chambers, researching there."

"Very well. I will wait here," Uther muttered resentfully.

The other man left and Uther glared out into the night.

"And yet again, I sit here and do nothing, playing stupid King," Uther mulishly kicked at the wall halfheartedly, seating himself at the windowsill after.

He could almost picture Merlin smirking and rolling her eyes at him.

"_Don't sulk, Uther. You're acting like a child," _he could even hear her saying.

A bittersweet smile crossed his lips.

When he was later left with a magic book, he had paused and stared at it, hands holding it gently.

It was Merlin's personal magic book.

"_This belongs to Merlin. It is her personal book that I'd given her when she'd come to Camelot, and that she has been using to teach herself some spells she cannot already do on her own," Gaius tentatively handed it over to the King._

_But Uther only grabbed it tenderly, staring at it as if it were Merlin herself._

"_I will take care of it."_

It was better left to him anyways, he thought. Arthur did not know Merlin was magic and Morgana was untrained and needed her teacher to supervise her over the use of such a powerful book. At least Uther knew…

It was a small but somewhat meaningful consolation to him being unable to go with the others and actively search for a solution or for Merlin.

* * *

He heard beautiful humming. He recognized her soft, sweet voice and he followed it all the way to his room, where he saw her in her usual spot –her favorite seat on his large balcony.

Merlin had one of her own in her rooms, but she seemed fond and attached to his. He would never begrudge her it.

"Merlin, it is lunch time. Would you like to eat here or in the dining room?" he asked her affectionately.

"Tristan…can you hear him?" Merlin murmured. "His voice is soft and I cannot hear a single word he utters…but it is painful and sad."

Tristan frowned, not wanting her to be sorrowed and also unable to keep away his jealousy of this unknown man. He went over to her and embraced her from behind, bending a little to plant a tender kiss upon her brow. She leaned back and took hold of one of his hands, holding it as she tilted her head back and closed her eyes, wherein he kissed her softly in response.

"I cannot hear him," she murmured.

He hated this unknown man.

"Then do not listen," he whispered.

'_It will be less painful…for the both of us,'_ he thought only, closing his eyes as well.

"Lunch, you said. Come," she stood up and threaded her arm around his, leading the way to the kitchens.

'_Merlin…'_

She shuddered inwardly and wished the voice would go away.

And while two months had passed in that place, only two days had passed since Merlin's disappearance in her own time. They searched frantically through the books, coming up with nothing, while Uther sat restlessly in his room, trying to come up with something to do and patiently and meticulously going through Merlin's magic book all the while. He'd been in the middle of a paragraph when he'd heard footsteps outside his rooms. He quickly shut the book and rapidly tossed it under the table he'd been reading it at, using his foot to further hide it underneath.

He wondered if this was what Merlin had to do frequently and if she did it the exact same way. He felt a pang in his chest at the thought, and missed her even just a little bit more.

"Uther?" he heard Morgana call out and he gave her permission to enter.

Merlin used to just stroll in after knocking…

He shook his head and tried not to think about the missing girl, offering a tired smile to Morgana.

"Morgana," he greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to check up on you," she frowned at him, slightly in worry. "I've heard you've been holed up in here with barely a word."

His smile strained a bit. He wished he could say that he knew Merlin was gone and he missed her more than she ever could, but he kept silent instead.

"I haven't been feeling well," which wasn't untrue, considering how he felt with Merlin not there. "I've just been resting and hoping to regain my strength."

"I see," Morgana's frown remained. "I hope you rest well and get better quickly."

"Thank you, Morgana. Truly," Uther's smile became a little bit more sincerer and Morgana returned it lightly.

"Uther…" she hesitated. "Have you thought more on my request?"

Inwardly, Uther balked. Her request on becoming engaged to Merlin…he'd almost forgotten in the light of things. And now their nice, small little talk that had been going well was going to end up badly, as usual between them.

"I have," he started. "Morgana…I do not think it is a good idea."

Morgana recoiled from him as if struck.

"But…but why?! I thought you liked Merlin. You know he would take care of me and be kind to me! Is it because of his status?"

Uther took a deep breath. "I do like Merlin. I know Merlin would take the greatest care of you and make you a happy and belated wife. This has nothing to do with status. Morgana, Merlin is a _woman_."

Morgana stared at him, shocked and confused. That immediately turned to fury.

"Don't lie to me, Uther! How dare you make something like that up, just to keep him away from me?! Just because you refuse to allow us to be together, just because you can't accept it or approve of us –it does not mean you can lie like that!" she ended shrilly.

She ran from him before he could make his case and he sighed in aggravation, massaging his head. Denial had not exactly been one of the reactions he'd thought of…

He wished Merlin was there. She always made him feel better and always stood by him. He missed her counsel and her banter. He missed her.

Feeling utterly depressed, Uther reached down and retrieved the book, wasting no time in going back to his careful reading. His head started nodding off sometime later, his eyes getting heavier as he felt more tired as time wore on and he felt closer to embracing sleep.

"_You like peaches, don't you?"_

_She laughed lightly. "How does that come about?"_

"_Milady, I dare say you smell of them all the time. It's…sweet…intoxicating…" his voice grew to a whisper._

_A red blush grew on her face and she smiled shyly at him._

"_Tristan…"_

"_Your past. It is your past," he spoke firmly, and almost a tinge desperately. "It should stay there. You are coming to have a different life. Stay here with me. I can make you happy."_

_She stared at him, eyes wide in astonishment._

"_I promise to be by your side for eternity, no matter what may come. I would sit at your feet, waiting on you. I would care for you and give you all you need. You will always have a home here, all the clothes, jewelry, and fine things you could want. Everything you ask, I would deliver. Simply say yes and I would make you a queen in my home, in my land."_

_She was made speechless, unable to properly come up with a proper response to his impassioned declaration and his hopeful, longing gaze._

"_M-maybe," she answered softly._

_And he would take that answer, knowing it was good enough for then._

_He leaned in and kissed her lips with all the gentleness of a lover and smiled wistfully at her._

"_Can I keep you secret? Will you be mine in this castle, and keep you all to myself just for a little longer?"_

_To this she simply smiled and kissed him back, giving a slight nod._

Uther jolted awake, the last vestiges of his dream fading away as he gained further awareness. His jaw clenched and knew his earlier assumption was right.

Merlin was in the past, and with Tristan de Bois. His late brother-in-law. Ingraine's brother.

He closed his eyes and put the palms of his hands on his head, squeezing and wishing everything would just go away. She looked so restful and at peace…and he felt like he was depriving her happiness once again, just like he had when he'd brought her back from the future. And a part of him still felt guilty and wishing to repent for Tristan's equal loss of Ingraine and his death, maybe let him have Merlin…at least for a little while, as Tristan seemed to have done in the past if he remembered the letters correctly.

After all, he was quite sure he would probably be part of how Merlin was taken from Tristan in the end, and not just through Arthur.

It was strange how he'd dreamed of her and the past. He was pretty sure he had no magic in him and no seer ability, likened to Morgana. Merlin would know, or would know how to figure it out. Sometimes he felt like he took her for granted. She did so much for him, Arthur, and Camelot…and now that she was gone, they were floundering and unable to figure out what to do or how to fix things.

Uther could not go to the dragon. He knew that it would not help him a second time, as the first time had already been once enough. Gaius was too used to avoiding it to remember, and even if Uther were to remind him, there was no guarantee it would help him, especially if the dragon were to find out Uther had pushed Gaius into asking.

They were probably very well on their own.

* * *

Arthur sat on his bench, waiting for Morgana to return from her visit with Uther (why was it taking so long?) and worried about his father as well. Gaius was focused intensely at his table, doing something with the sands as Arthur sat miserably, book opened in front of him.

"Merlin," he muttered dazedly.

He drew a worried glance from Gaius, but he was too out of it.

"Can't you hear me? I miss you."

_She blinked, hearing the voice again. What was he saying?_

"I want you back."

_She bit her lip, feeling tears prick her eyes._

"I love you," Arthur croaked.

_She hurriedly wiped away her tears and though she tried not to, she listened._

"Come back home."

_She lightly hit her head, wishing away the voice. Wiping her tears one more time, she made up her mind to close it to the voice and push it away. She laid her head on Tristan's chest, feeling it rise and lower with each breath. It comforted her._

"Come back to _me_."

_Merlin closed her eyes and reached out, wrapping her arm around Tristan and reaching for his hand, holding it tight._

Arthur buried his face in his hands and cried, with Gaius looking sadly at him from across the room.

Started 9/4/12 – Completed 9/6/12

A/n: I…have nothing to say XD Except these chapters are really nicely paralleled with "The Day the Whole World Slept" and I'm pretty happy about that. So…enjoy and review!

To ShadowWolfGang8: I never log off XD It just makes it easier on me. Pretty much Merlin and Uther is my favorite thing right (and weirdly enough, everyone else seems to like their relationship too –and here I thought everyone but me hated Uther). I think I'm really doing this father/daughter stuff a lot now, to set up for when Balinor comes in and for when Morgana is revealed to actually be Uther's daughter. Eek…As for Morgana, secret for now? Hahaha. She has been having dreams of Merlin as Queen, she just doesn't get them because Merlin is male to her. And dhh…:P that person…Thanks for the offer! –Eri

To emmahere: Yes, thank you! I'm really excited to do something original, especially since it's working alongside the parallel sequel. I really like focusing on the characters and how they feel. And yeah, I like making Uther irritate Gaius and have made it headcanon XD I should just do a serious of Uther's notes for fun on a drawing or something.

To CM: Glad you love it! Especially since it a fem!Merlin and it's uncanon all over the face, and you said it's not really your thing. Thanks for trying it out and liking it so much! I like writing Uther and just making him human and exploring him, because every time I read a fic he's a complete asshole and one-dimensional that I wonder if anyone actually bothers going into his head and actually trying to write him. And the three of them are just altogether really fun, especially writing Uther and Merlin and Arthur/Merlin scenes.

To darkflare54: Yes! I have not disappeared off the face of the planet, though it looked that way. And I've been updating a lot more frequently now, I'm happy to say.


	20. A Measure Too Late

Disclaimer: I love Merlin, but that doesn't mean I own it. Pure fan love here.  
Story: This was not the future the legends had been carved from. Far from it. And as Merlin watched the world burn, she felt nothing but apathy. For Arthur, it was all worth it. Conspiracies, lies, and half-truths are constructed in a masterful web that surprisingly Merlin and Uther are in the middle of. A girl's devotion and what a father is willing to do for his son.  
Set as an AU, genderbending fic.  
Spoilers: From episode S2.4 ("Lancelot and Guinevere") and mentions of future chapters.  
Warnings: Semi-dark!Merlin, Cunning!Ruthless!Uther, Suspicious!Observant!Arthur, and the rest will be drawn into the chaos.  
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot, Morgana/?, heavily implied past-Uther/Ingraine, one-sided Gwen/Merlin, one-sided Morgana/Merlin, slight Edwin/Merlin (mostly one-sided), slight Nimueh/Merlin (mostly one-sided)...

**The Day the Whole World Went Away  
**_Chapter Twenty: A Measure Too Late_

The clang of metal against metal sounded in the air. She traded a smirk for his surprised expression, before moving her arm in a semi-circle to direct his sword away from her.

It had been a joke. A simple playful challenge.

And now they were seriously sparring with sword skills she hadn't known she had. She was delighted to see he wasn't going to back down from some notion of chivalry, and that he was taking her seriously and treating her as an equal. More so that he wasn't throwing some tantrum or becoming upset that she was choosing to fight or that she could fight with a sword, like some other pigheaded men she knew would act like. In fact, he looked curious and interested in this new development.

He even looked every bit as delighted as her.

He took it up a notch, but didn't go full out on her. There was a distinction in their skills that they both acknowledged, that he took note of and adjusted for. It wouldn't be a fair or fun fight otherwise, and they were enjoying a leveled fight better than they would have a one-sided one.

All of a sudden she made a sharp jab at his jugular that he hadn't expected, and he'd focused all his attention on it that he didn't account for it being a misdirection and for her to instead drop to her hands and do a leg sweep that had him tumbling backwards to the ground. She immediately capitalized on it, by lunging forward and straddling him, holding her sword up and putting the tip to his throat.

"Well, that was unexpected," Tristan grinned, chuckling.

"But fun," she purred, smirking at him.

"So the stray cat I picked up has claws, does she?" Tristan murmured, and then he slapped the sword out of her hand and then reversed their positions, taking enjoyment in her surprise.

"Hm. I'm certainly in a predicament," she said nonchalantly, the barest hint of her smirk still there.

"Yes. You are," and then he leaned over her and kissed her lips.

She was feisty, but she could also be elegant. She was witty and yet well-spoken as well. She was polite, but could bite back and be passionate about certain things. She was so full of life and so vibrant.

She was absolutely perfect to him.

A drop of rain hit his head and then more drops fell from the sky. They blinked and flinched, glancing up at the sky.

"It's raining!" she laughed.

"It is," and then he got up and startled her as he picked her up and carried her bridal style as he ran back to his castle, both of them laughing freely.

They'd just settled in when they heard the heavy doors of the entrance hall being pounded against. Glancing at each other in bemusement, Tristan went to answer it. A second later he returned with another, more older, man in tow. The man smiled pleasantly at her.

"Merlin, this is John Bishop. He's a traveling priest," Tristan informed her.

Merlin smiled uneasily and stood up to curtsey. In turn, the priest bowed as well.

"Thank you for your hospitality. Your kindness is most appreciated," he addressed them both. "I hope the Lady will not mind my presence here?" John questioned, glancing at Merlin with a small smile.

"Ah, I'm not the Lady of the castle," Merlin hurriedly explained. "The same as you, I suppose. I sought shelter here, as you have. Though I'm…not sure how or why. I'm not really sure of much, though my memory hasn't hurt my health at least."

John's eyebrows raised. "Memory loss, I am gathering? How unfortunate. I hope the Good Lord will return it to you, or that at least a good reason has been done for such a thing, milady."

"Thank you for your words, good sir," Merlin slanted her head forward.

"How about a hot meal?" Tristan interrupted. "It is dark and wet out, and I believe it is near dinnertime."

"That would be lovely," John smiled faintly.

Dinner that night was strange but not uncomfortable, and the two of them actually found John's presence rather soothing. He was a kind and rather gentle man, and also rather intelligent. After dinner, the three spent the rest of the night speaking and debating various topics before splitting ways before bed.

When it came time for Merlin and Tristan to head to bed, instead of going to his room as usual, she stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, bidding him goodnight.

"You are going to your room?" he asked hesitantly.

She gave him a fond look. "As much as I am used to and love sharing your bed, I believe it _is_ rather inappropriate, in hindsight. And especially with a priest around. I'll see you tomorrow, Tristan."

Merlin gave him one last sweet kiss and then started walking in the direction of her own room, long since abandoned in favor of laying with Tristan.

"But we are just sleeping together," he muttered, not willing to admit the pout in his voice.

He sighed and turned, nearly shocked out of his wits to see John standing behind him, looking embarrassed.

"I'm sorry for intruding. Er, for both right now and for the peaceful solitude you've had in this castle with her all this while. I did not mean to be a bother," the priest apologized.

Tristan waved him off, offering a resigned but sincere smile. "It's alright. Neither of us would hear of sending you away. Anyways, was there something you needed?"

"Ah, I was on my way to the room you'd lent me, when I remembered to ask you when would fast in the morning be broken? I didn't wish to be late and be a trouble to you and Lady Merlin."

"Well, we're usually early risers. We have breakfast three hours after dawn."

John nodded. "I see…" he hesitated. "I wonder if I may ask of Lady Merlin? Of how she was brought here, in particular. It is such a shame for her to have such misfortune befall her, though it is luck that she managed to happen upon you."

Tristan furrowed his eyebrows. "Truthfully, it is very odd how she came about here. I found her unconscious and with fever on my training field. When awoken, we both discovered she had no recollection of anything of her life or who she was, only her first name. Aside from that, she was a blank slate with her past."

"I understand. Then it is truly good that it was you she came to be with, and not someone else that would be more likely to take advantage of her in her state," John spoke with a heartfelt tone.

"I find myself the lucky one," Tristan confessed. "It was like a gift from God, her sudden presence to me. I truly thought her an angel, and even now I wonder. I have never been happier in my life. She is…she is one of a kind. Merlin is already dearly beloved to me. Though I know I should wish her memory back, the truth is I would much rather it never did and I would be able to keep her by my side."

"What a romantic story, it is," John smiled gently. "A lost but beautiful woman and a lonely lord, suddenly brought together. I've always been a bit of a romantic, you know. I've been told that I have an unconventional and non-traditional leaning in the teachings of the Lord."

He clapped a comforting hand on Tristan's shoulder. "Perhaps that is the reason why the Lord took her memory. Perhaps her past was meant to be forgotten, and was horrible to begin with and He wished her a more better future. Perhaps then He willed her your way."

"I hope so," Tristan murmured. "It's already been nine months. It just feels right with her here." But a smile slowly crossed his lips as a thought crossed his mind. "Actually, I may have to ask a favor of you, Priest."

John continued to smile, willing to help and his services offered freely.

And as it was nine months there, only nine days had passed with the others. And it wasn't a happy nine days either. It was absolutely _miserable_.

Morgana was finally back with the others and contributing with the research, though a scowl seemed permanently etched onto her face. Arthur was also in a dismal state, face pale and drawn. Gaius could note that it was obvious the prince was lacking sleep and probably hadn't been feeding himself properly.

He would've commiserated and be suffering _his_ depression with the King, had the man not been in his own state of withdrawal and misery. And in an odd balance with his melancholy, Uther was also simultaneously single-mindedly reading and focusing on Merlin's magic book with a one-track determination usually reserved for the times he'd used to concentrate on persecuting magic.

"Is Merlin a woman?"

Gaius blinked and had to rethink what he'd just heard. He lifted his head up slowly to look up and see Morgana staring intensely at him and Arthur, and Gaius' breath caught in his throat. He didn't think he was getting enough air, much less enough for him to speak an answer.

"Of course she is, you twit," Arthur snapped. "Finally figured it out? About time."

"You two are lying!" Morgana stood up abruptly, her chair screeching behind her as it was scooted back. "Uther's got the two of you in on it, doesn't he? He told you to keep up this sick lie!"

Well, Gaius hadn't even said anything, but he supposed he would have told the truth and be put with Arthur anyways.

"Oh, get over yourself," Arthur was already at his breaking point. "You're so thickheaded, you can't even see beyond your powdered nose! And now that you know the truth, bugger off of her! She's _my_ fiancée!"

Morgana threw a book at Arthur, face completely furious.

"Quit all your lies! That's probably why Uther said it in the first place –to soothe his precious prince and son with his unrequited love!" She started gathering the books near into a pile in her arms. "I'm leaving! I'll read these in my room and I'll save Merlin myself! And unlike _you_, I've got an edge!" she ended cryptically, sneering at him.

She angrily tore out of the room and a candle nearby flared up menacingly, startling the two males. Gaius felt like he was close to having a heart attack.

"Stupid drafts!" Arthur growled, excusing the odd flare.

Gaius inwardly sighed in relief before wincing. He could quite understand Merlin's frequent claims about the Pendragon family going to be the death of her one of these days. He felt it quite true and thought he might probably suffer from the same fate.

Meanwhile, the patriarch of such a troublesome family had just finished the last page of the magic book in front of him, jotting down the last of his notes. He had painstakingly read through each page with a careful eye, sometimes going back and rereading to make sure he didn't miss anything and also for points that he didn't understand and had to go back and read it over again until he understood it. He'd also written careful notes, marking pages that he thought might help, and writing pros and cons about each spell.

But not everything seemed a complete fit to a solution that would help.

He gritted his teeth and knew that there was no other choice but to confront that confounded dragon and ask for help. Setting the book aside and, after a moment's hesitation, placed the page of his notes of the spell he felt was the absolute best chance they had on top, he strode out of his room to find the damn lizard.

When he traveled all the way down to the dungeons and had made it to the entrance of the cavern deep down under the castle, he took a deep breath and began his descent into the dark depths. Just before he would turn the corner that would open up to the dragon's lair, he stopped and turned before leaning casually against the rock wall just as a burst of fire rammed into the area of the entrance, which would have incinerated him had he continued his way into the cavern.

"King of Nothing, you dare come here yet again," the beast growled angrily.

At least it wasn't a roar. He might have some hope then.

"I need your help," Uther stated stoically, revealing nothing in his words or voice.

"Help! As if I would help the likes of you, Fool of Fortunes!"

Uther gritted his teeth, but reminded himself Merlin was at stake here and that he would have to tolerate this…thing, as he had tolerated reading a magic book for the past nine days.

"You helped me before."

"Through no wish of mine! It is only on behalf of my kin, though she refuses to acknowledge our relation, that I did so begrudgingly help an errant fool of a man as yourself," the blasted dragon persisted in insulting.

"So you will not help me, even if it means forsaking Merlin?" Uther calculatingly called out, rousing the beast's interest at the same time as using its words against it.

"What trouble has the sorceress gotten herself into this time?" the dragon's voice rumbled reluctantly.

"Another sorceress trespassed into the castle nine days ago and somehow managed to send Merlin back in time. There is a spell that will enable someone to go to her and bring her back, however the spell specifically addresses the fact that she must be _willing_ to come back. Through personal letters, I know where and when she is, but also that it is likely she has had her memory removed and is happy with the person she is staying with and with her situation. If that is true, she will not be willing to come back…at least not without proper persuasion," Uther ended with a heavy hint.

"You intend to find a way to reach out to her and try to change her mind, even with the handicap of her memory loss," the dragon breathed fire through its nose. "You know it is very likely that she may have been doused by water from the River of Lethe to incur such memory loss, and depending on the amount the permanency or intensity of the loss is judged by?"

Uther stayed quiet, but the Great Dragon deduced it was from confusion and not by the impact of such severity of the problem.

"You know some magic, but not enough."

"I know not of what you speak," Uther spat out angrily, "but I understand the rest of your words at least. The _important_ part of what you're saying. And I have faith that Merlin will be able to overcome such power of this…Lethe thing, no matter how much of it she was forced to intake or be showered with."

"Very well. Do you remember the Isle of the Blessed?"

"Yes," the King answered shortly.

"You have gone there, yes? And you remember the way?"

"Yes," Uther confirmed impatiently.

"Do you remember the Fountain?"

Here, Uther hesitated a bit in reluctance, but confirmed that also.

"Find it again. It is your only hope to reach out to her."

Uther frowned. "What if I go to the future again instead? She is in the past. The last time I came into contact with this fountain, I had reached her in the future."

"It is the intent. You must keep your intent in mind as you use the Fountain, and keep a clear and focused image of Merlin as you jump into the waters."

Well, at least someone knew something about that fountain. Gaius and Nimueh before had seemed certain that it was a doomed sentence to jump into its waters for some reason. Perhaps he and Merlin, after he'd helped retrieved her with Arthur, will look into it together, as a side project and as bonding time…

"Then I will be back with her," he said tonelessly, swiftly vacating his spot.

More fire came his way, despite not even aimed correctly or (though it might be his imagination) that it didn't seem nearly as hot as before.

Without further ado, he began his journey to the Isle of the Blessed. It took him the better part of two days, considering he was traveling alone and he was trying to keep a low profile, as well as the treacherous roads he had to go through (and the fact that it took him a bit to remember the exact directions he needed to get there) and avoidance of interacting with people. When he got there, he uneasily used the wooden boat to get across before making it onto the mainland. Still uneasy, he tried to remember the way to the heart of the isle, finding the fountain that should so find him in need of its power.

"Who walks these dangerous paths?"

Uther tensed, but replied back warily. "It's no business of yours. I thought that these parts were home only to Nimueh…"

A plain man dressed in brown robes walked into the area, glancing at the Fountain and then at him.

"Home to her until her death. She'd kept others off of the Isle of the Blessed until her timely demise, and I mean timely. Once she was gone, many of the old have since freely trekked to and fro the isle. I was, _am_ a High Priest of the Old Religion, as Nimueh had been Priestess. Priest, whichever the changeling chose at the time. Now that she is not here to hoard this sacred place to herself, I and some others have trailed back to claim homes. Now whose presence has come and wishes to brave the Fountain?"

"So there _is_ a capital in that 'F'," Uther muttered to himself. He coughed and then looked defiant as he said his name. "Uther Pendragon."

The man's eyes flashed and he stepped forward threateningly, raising the staff he carried ominously. Uther put on a brave front, thinking that in hindsight that it was probably a bad idea to have announced himself as such, but as Merlin was fond of reminding him –either his arrogance or his blinding devotion to his family (in this instance Merlin) was going to get him killed faster than he could blinked. He just couldn't help himself. That some idiot was standing in his way of being part of Merlin's rescue had him shoot his mouth off.

"Back off, I won't have you jeopardize my mission to rescue Merlin," Uther barked out, remaining steadfast. "I won't let Emrys be rid of me just yet, because of you!"

The man paused. "_Emrys_, you say?"

Uther frowned, though made a mental note to speak of Merlin's alternate name to any future magic-users he came across just in the case that it might save him like it had now. The name seemed to mean a great deal, he noticed…

"Yes, Emrys is my friend and stuck in the past. I was…advised that this Fountain would help me to retrieve her."

The man seemed to suddenly wilt and become less aggressive, watching him in scrutiny instead.

"I am Alator," the High Priest murmured. "The Fountain is dangerous. No one goes in there."

"So I've been told," Uther said sarcastically. "I've already been. Right before Nimueh's demise. As far as I –or Emrys –are certain, it transports one through time."

Alator furrowed his eyebrows and Uther had the thought that maybe he and Merlin –and somehow that dragon –were the only ones to have any such knowledge of any workings of the Fountain.

"I see…I also see she's also your soul mate."

Uther choked on his breath and turned wide, disbelieving eyes on the man, who chuckled and shook his head.

"No, I mean it differently. I meant familial. Soul mates are not restricted to lovers, but also to those souls who will be family through lifetimes, friends, etc. The bond you are thinking of are what is called 'true flames' or 'twin souls'. True soul mates like that is a dangerous thought. Sometimes in life, the extreme cases have true flames descending into madness without the other, especially if they've already met the other half and either death or some sort of separation is the cause. Even together, they have a tendency to obsessively focus on their other half, and damn the rest around them. True twin souls, if both or even just one of them is important enough to the world, can cause great destruction if not careful."

Uther had a feeling, one both worried and yet also sickeningly pleased, that Arthur and Merlin were probably twin souls. And there was no doubt in his mind Ingraine was his, no matter what anyone would tell him. He would believe that to his death, especially since the only thing to bring him from the brink of madness after her death had been Merlin –which makes sense, if she was a 'familial soul mate'. He wanted to ask more questions, but he knew that he had no time.

"I can see the lines between people," Alator's eyes watched him sharply. "I can see their bonds. Alive, she is the strongest bond you have, even beyond your son. I have no doubt that you will be able to reach her, should you jump into the Fountain."

And Uther did, without further prompting from himself or the High Priest.

"How interesting," Alator hmmed. "Time and Fate. What are you doing? And Uther Pendragon, of all people…what an intriguing twist. A magic-hater's most potent and strongest bond is to a magic-user. The most powerful magic-user of all time…

"Oh Goddesses, Gaia, what are the steps of Destiny?"

* * *

Uther blinked, feeling disconcerted as he landed on his feet roughly. He saw the familiar castle of Tristan's, and ran towards it hurriedly, having a gut feeling that he _needed_ to hurry. However, he was going too fast and was about to crash into the doors, when he actually went through it. Gasping in surprise, he suspiciously stuck his hand through the doors, after landing inside, and gaped when his arm went through.

"What the hell? Am I a ghost or something?" he twitched.

It was much more disconcerting than occupying his alternate's body.

He shook his head and remembered his purpose, hurrying again. He had just flown through the doors of Tristan's grand hall, only to see three people standing close together. Someone unfamiliar stood a step up on the dais, and Tristan and Merlin stood a step lower and facing each other.

"I marry you," Merlin murmured.

And Tristan's wide smile halted Uther and he stood in shock and absolutely frozen.

"Then it is done. I announce you Lord and Lady de Bois," the unknown man's voice echoed through the hall and reverberated down to Uther's core.

"I pronounce you man and wife."

Uther, it seemed, had been too late.

Started 11/28/12 – Completed 12/24/12

A/n: Hey there! Anyways, anyone catch the references in here? There's two, I think. One is obvious, and the other sort of not. Hehe, I introduced Alator earlier than he's supposed to be, and included a somewhat change of heart (like he did in his episode). I have now educated you on the actual mythos of soul mates. Haha. And I married Tristan and Merlin, while I was at it. That's just going to make everyone miserable all around, heee~ Also, Uther disappearing from the castle. Without a word or an actual note to anyone. He's become much reckless since partnering with Merlin, eh? She's such a bad influence…

Also, Arthurian legends should be around 6th century (I think), but some settings go for Medieval (around 12th century to 16th, I think). Due to the jousting, knights code, importance of knights, etc. in BBC Merlin, then the timeframe would be more accurately in the late (I think –it's been awhile since notes, okay?!) 12th century, which is the timeframe I'm trying to keep to. Therefore, on marriage in that era, I think was more of a private matter, unless it's for really important people or something. Also, in 12th century, women were obligated to take on their husbands' last names (never mind that Medieval period was just when people were starting to take on surnames). Christian marriage in Europe was pretty simple –mutual consent, declaration of intention to marry, and the physical union. Couples promise verbally to each other (known as 'the verbum') that they would be married to each other. A priest or witnesses weren't required. They just say "I marry you", unquestionably binding, or "I will marry you" which equals a betrothal. Okay, lecture done XD

MERRY CHRISTMAS!


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